AN: I know I know, but after Failsafe this popped up in my head too. Anyway, this is a oneshot.

A what if scenario where Kaldur doesn't wake up with everyone else, but instead he's stuck in that simulation where even when he dies, he comes back. Where everything just keeps getting worse and worse. Until they got him out of that coma-like sleep. Only...He doesn't come back 'normal'.

This is the aftermath of that situation.

Disclaimers: *Points to the website.* If I did? There would be a LOT more subtext and Red ArrowxKaldur moments.

She cannot handle this. Ever since his return, his mind is broadcasting everything. No, that's not right. She just happens to hear it most often when he's asleep-if he's able to sleep more than a few minutes.

When he does sleep, it's nightmares. Nothing but horrible images that keep flooding her mind almost nightly right before she throws up her barriers and seals up her mind tightly for the night so she doesn't hear or see them.

They're always horrible. Always ghastly.

It always breaks her heart when she hears his echoing cries in those dreams she's not suppose to know about. It hurts worse because it's all her fault.

If she hadn't forgotten it was only a training exercise, then maybe..maybe he wouldn't have to suffer like this.

Almost two weeks since he's returned and things are eerie. Well, eerie for Wally, to be honest. He's used to not hearing his voice but that was usually because he's used to him being calm and nearly relaxed. But this silence wasn't anything like that. Out of the corner of Wally's eyes, he can see him tense at every sound, at every move-imagined or not- and the movement of his hands to grab a weapon, something, to defend himself with.

Even though it's safe. He's safe. Everyone was safe and alive.

Wally wonders when that look will go away. He wonders when he'll ever hear him speak and not have his voice fill with tension and urgency.

Like it's the last time they'll ever hear him.

Conner doesn't say anything. Honestly, he doesn't know what to say to make this situation better. He tells M'gann that it's not her fault. That she's still in training like everyone else. That it was an honest mistake.

But he sees him. Walking around the base as if expecting something to come at him. It's obvious what this is. His mind has the textbook knowledge of what this is a symptom of, but it doesn't say how to make it better.

So he doesn't do anything. He doesn't make any sudden movements when they're not in training. He makes enough noise so that the other knows he's there and won't be taken by surprise.

He remembered what happened last time that occurred.

Conner simply is at a loss of what to do now.

Selfishly, he hopes it'll resolve itself someway.

Artemis knows logically, it is not her fault. None of this is her fault. How he ended up like..that.. isn't her fault either. She's been told this before by others- Wally, M'gann, Black Canary to name a few- but she can't help but feel that it is.

She died. It had changed everything.

It changed everyone completely. Including him more so because he had been stuck. At least that's what she heard. Stuck in that world?

She may have not been there for all of it, but she remembers what little she did see and thinks it's horrific enough. Though Robin told her it was much worse.

She can't imagine being stuck in a world like that- even if it's in your own mind- for two and a half weeks in real time. Who knows how long it's been there?

Her guilt shows every time she sees him flinch even at an accidental brush of the shoulder or arm in the hallway. Like touching another person was a shock. It shouldn't be, but then again...

When was the last time he's ever been hugged?

Artemis's mind shies away from that path of complications and settles only on the one they had now. The one dealing with him still leading. Still acting as he 'usually' does but so much more reserved.

More stiff, as if relaxing for just even a moment would be a problem or lead to some disaster. She wonders a little, while watching him in his usual spot near the door, if he even sleeps.

She wants to make this right. To make this better because it's actually really painful to watch. It's been nearly a month.

And she hasn't seen him smile once.

Robin normally doesn't have to be on his guard. Normally when he's with them, he can relax and have some fun. But that changed. Everything changed.

At least when he's there it is. It's like someone threw a blanket or something over a lamp and it's dim with a weak source of light coming from somewhere.

He doesn't like it. It's simply not normal. It's not-!

Robin watches him, being more careful than he had been before. That was a mistake last time. Robin hadn't been prepared for it when he suddenly came up on him and nearly gotten killed because he had startled him badly.

Robin was just lucky that his training kicked in and saved his hide, but it was a rather keen reminder to everyone that he wasn't normal. He wasn't himself.

Actually, what punctured this was a mission. It was a simple mission really and everything had been going smoothly until the criminals got in the way-but that was alright. They were trained to handle this.

However, Artemis got hurt. Robin has never, in all the time he's known him, seen such a display of ruthless power as he did then.

Water, he knew from first hand experience, was dangerous all on it's own. Water controlled by someone was even more so.

He was certain that Artemis and Kid Flash were having flashbacks of their own water issues when the manipulated liquid surrounded the criminals and simply encased them.

"Aqualad." That shaky voice was not his. No, it can't be. It had to be stronger because someone has to be able to stop this before he kills them. "Aqualad! Stop it!"

"Why?" He's never heard this before. Aqualad was usually the one to be reasonable. Logical even, in times like these. He was the one that usually talks others out of doing something ridiculously stupid.

This simply, wasn't right.

"Artemis is fine. Everyone is." Miss Martian had said, "You don't need to-"

"It would be best to stop it here before it gets worse." There was no infliction in his voice as they watched the bodies stop struggling for air. "People would be safer."

"But that's not what we're about." Kid Flash found his own voice in this, "You know that. We..We don't kill."

"You do not." Came the reply but nevertheless, he turned, the tattoos stopped glowing and bodies hit the ground without much care.

"Miss Martian, KF, Are they?"

"They'll be fine." Miss Martian informed him, "Just..unconscious."

From that, Robin knew his friend was far more dangerous than he let on.

More then that...

Robin knows there's really nothing he can do without a little help.

They haven't moved or spoken in the past twenty minutes since he's arrived. Of course, if Robin calls for something that's not stupid, it's a rarity. Especially with how serious he sounded.

He knows about this. He just never thought it was to this extent. He would've never imagined Kaldur of all people ending up like this.

"Got another one?" A webbed hand was reaching out for a pack. "I am out."

Roy snorts but passes it over to him along with a lighter, "Those things will kill you one day."

"Something will eventually." He's been doing this for the past few days. Something that took the edge off of being here. Being expected to be normal. He lights it and takes a deep drag before slowly letting the smoke filter out of his mouth, "It has not stopped you."

"Point."

Again they lapse into silence, watching the night sky as if nothing outside their little world existed. They went on like this for another ten minutes before he spoke up again.

"It was..madness." He puts the butt out and reaches for another one, "Even though I know it is not real, it felt real. Everything just..."

He stops, his hand is shaking and those light colored eyes seem to be off somewhere. Looking at something else, "She kept crying."

"Who did?" Roy's voice is quiet. He's watching him very carefully.

"A girl. She looked like Artemis only..." He trials off, forgetting he's even holding the cigarette in his hand, "She was so scared. We all were. We... At first, I did not wish to join them. I tried to stop them countless times before. The enemy, it just..."

He doesn't know when his eyes started to sting or when silent tracks of tears fell from them. All he could hear were the sounds of screams. The sounds of people praying to their gods that never answered, of children crying , of mothers being unable to cope.

Of the world falling down around him because he couldn't save anyone.

Not even her.

"I killed her, Roy." His voice was thick. "I killed her because it was easier then to go through that again. Then to hear that..." He trails off as a choke sob weedles it's way out of his throat, "Poseidon, what have I done? What have I done?"

Even though Roy's pulled him close and is hugging him, he can still hear Kaldur muttering mournfully about what he did in that 'dream world'. He can feel him shake with the force of emotions that he's sure Kaldur's kept bottled inside.

Roy says something soft and quiet once, twice, again and again until Kaldur stops shaking. Until his sobs quieten down and ceased to be, leaving only the tears to dry up and stop. He honestly doesn't know how good he is with this, but he has a feeling that at the end, he'll be an expert.

In the end, though, he makes the decision for them all and simply takes Kaldur back home with him. He's under no illusions that this will be easy. In fact, he expects this to be difficult.

But at least there, Roy can keep an eye on him and help him back towards a something stable enough to function. He has no delusions that Kaldur will go right back to normal.

After all that and everything else in their lives, he doubts any of them will be 'ok' when they get older.

He sure as hell isn't but if he could help his friend even a little bit, then it would be worth it.

AN: and that's all! *pets Kaldur.* My poor baby. ;3; They don't love yous on that show.