I'm FINALLY getting this posted! I feel like I've been working on it forever. I apologize for the delay. I moved back to my hometown to accept a new job and am temporarily squatting at my parents while I wait for my apartment lease to start. Needless to say, there's been a lot of excitement over the last two months!

PLEASE READ: I want to put a disclaimer up here at the top. This update is heavy. It deals with death and the myriad of emotions that surround it. If you have experienced the death of a child or loved one, this could be hard to read.

Personally, I lost my grandfather in August. He spent several weeks in hospice care and my family will forever be indebted to the hospice nurses and his doctors who cared not only for him, but us as well. I drew on that experience below and writing this was therapeutic for me. I hope you appreciate it.

This is based on Carrie Underwood's "Temporary Home."

THINGS I OWN: A fantastic new rug for my fantastic new apartment. THINGS I DON'T OWN: Hart of Dixie.

Wade let out a nervous sigh as he wiped down the bar and glanced at the wall clock above the door. It was nearing last call. He was ready to close things down for the night, find Zoe and make sure she was okay. Okay was the operative word, of course, but he needed more than a reassuring text message to prove to himself that she was still as in one piece as she could be, given the circumstances.

Looking around his bar, the subdued Saturday night crowd, down to stragglers now, was all the proof he needed that Zoe's world was on its ear. It had been a dark day in the town, the kind that pulled the citizens of Bluebell together and bought out the best of the tightknit community. There had been a lot of that lately, in the wake of the tornados. As far as Wade was concerned, there had been too much of it lately, Bluebell seemingly unable to catch a break from heartache. He tossed his rag aside and adjusted the strap on his sling as Lavon approached.

"One more Jack and Coke?" he asked as he approached. Lavon shook his head, as weary as Wade had ever seen him.

"Just came over to tell you goodnight before I head back to the plantation," he said. He glanced around the bar then back at Wade. "Heard from Zoe?"

"She finally replied to one of my texts an hour or so ago," he answered. "She didn't say where she was, but let me know she was okay."

"Poor girl," Lavon sighed. "What a day." Wade nodded.

"How are the Parkers holding up?" he asked.

"Brick had to sedate Mrs. Parker," Lavon told him. "Her sister and mother came down from Montgomery to be with her. Mr. Parker's parents are here now, too. He was sitting in an armchair, not moving much, just staring straight ahead when I left. Jane kept asking where her brother was… I just can't even imagine…."

Wade shook his head, his heart twisting for the family. "Me either," he said. "Losing my dad is hard enough, but at least I know he's dying, you know? I've been able to spend time with him, say goodbye. But to just lose someone so suddenly, especially a child…" Wade trailed off, unable to even begin to comprehend what the Parkers were going through.

It had started as a normal day for the family. Travis and Deborah Parker had loaded up their three year old daughter Jane and their eight year old son Tyler and headed to the local beach for the day. They'd enjoyed a picnic, flew kites and built a sandcastle. The surf hadn't been especially rough that day and while the ocean had been too cool to go for a swim, the family had wandered along the edge, picking up seashells as water crept up over their feet before retreating back into the ocean.

Every person who had witnessed the next series of events had told the same story. Tyler had spotted a conch shell in the surf and had took off for it, not listening to his parents as they called for him to stop, to come back and wait until the water receded. He'd been knocked down by a wave, one that wouldn't have fazed most adults confident in the water but strong enough to knock down the small boy.

He'd been caught in the surf then, pulled into the ocean almost as if the waves were arms and hands, pulling and tugging even as he struggled. His father had gone in after him along with several other onlookers, but he had been pulled into a riptide and by the time he'd been pulled from the water, things looked grim.

Zoe had been the doctor on call. She'd been seated at the Rammer Jammer bar, sampling the cook's experiment with using leftover pancake batter from the morning to make funnel cakes and giving her unsolicited recommendations when the call had come in. She'd took off, shouting to Wade about an emergency at the beach as she'd fumbled for the keys to her newly purchased Prius. She'd made it to the beach in minutes, breaking several traffic laws in the process, and, kicking her Jimmy Choos off in the sand, had raced to the boy's side.

Not a soul in the crowd of bystanders would argue that Dr. Hart hadn't done everything in her power to save the child. She'd continued CPR long after the EMTs who had arrived after her with an ambulance and additional equipment had given up and advised her to do the same. She worked on the boy for nearly an hour before finally, she'd sat back on her knees and mumbled a time of death as tears poured down her face.

She'd disappeared once she'd answered questions from the police, filled out paperwork and spoke briefly with the Parkers who were understandably inconsolable. Word had gotten to the Rammer Jammer pretty quickly and Wade had spent the evening sick with worry, not sure where she was but certain she wasn't okay.

"It's awful," Lavon commented. He shook his head again, unable to believe what had transpired in his town that day. He'd just watched the boy playing a pickup game of baseball at the park after school two days earlier. "I'm worried about Zoe."

"Me too," Wade confirmed. "She's got a lot on her, right now." The town had, by and large, recovered from the tornados, buildings repaired, streets cleaned and injuries, his broken ribs, concussed head and dislocated shoulder included, had started to fade. "She worked so hard during and after the tornadoes and she's been treating my dad for weeks now. She's been out there daily lately, doing everything she can to make him comfortable. Losing Tyler…" Lavon just nodded, understanding what Wade was saying. He studied Wade for a few moments, noting not for the first time how tired and worn down he looked.

"How are you holding up?" he asked. Wade shrugged his injured shoulder and immediately regretted it as a dull pain worked through it.

"He sleeps a lot," he said. "Almost always, now. Doc says that's normal. She said he's not in any pain which is good…"

"I meant you," Lavon said, giving Wade a pointed look. Wade sighed. His automatic answer was always 'fine' but this wasn't Dash DeWitt or Shelia Whitaker or the produce guy or beer delivery man asking. This was Lavon, one of his oldest and closest friends.

"It's all I can do to put one foot in front of the other," he admitted. "I'm trying to spend as much time with Dad as I can and help Meredith take care of him, but I've got to be here too. I'm still recoverin' from the tornado, getting' deliveries in to fill the coolers with food and drinks again, havin' some minor repair work done, takin' care of insurance papers and all that mess. And someone has to do the payroll and write out checks to vendors. I know my shoulder and ribs and head ain't healin' as fast as they should, but I just can't rest, you know? And I'm tryin' to be there for Zoe…" Wade let out a heavy sigh. It felt good to air his burden to someone who wouldn't judge him for feeling overwhelmed by his dying father, running a business and trying to be a decent boyfriend.

"Like you said, it's one foot in front of the other," Lavon said sympathetically. He wished he could do more to help his friend but had no idea what he could do to help besides be there when he needed to talk and show up at Earl's with greasy burgers and milkshakes for everyone. "It's hard right now, but every storm runs out of rain." Wade frowned.

"Did you just quote a country song?" he asked.

"Yes, I did," Lavon confirmed. "It's nearly one in the morning and it's been a long, emotionally exhausting day. I'm allowed." Wade chuckled in spite of himself and watched as Annabeth waved covertly to Lavon as she left the Rammer Jammer with Cricket. Lavon gave her a minute nod that Wade only caught because he was paying attention.

"That your secret code?" he asked.

"Sort of," Lavon admitted. "She's gonna take Cricket home – she's a little worse for the wear – and then head over to the plantation. So that's your warning." Wade rolled his eyes as Lavon got up to leave.

"If you happen to see Zoe…," Wade said.

"I'll call you," Lavon confirmed. The pair exchanged goodnights and Lavon left as Wade made the last call announcement. He checked his phone as he poured a last round of drinks, not surprised when there wasn't a text from Zoe.

Lavon dragged himself up his porch stairs, stepping over Burt Reynolds in the process. He stretched and yawned as he made his way to the door, eager for Annabeth to get there so they could go to bed and just sleep. It had been a long day and all he wanted was the woman he was falling in love with to be by his side as he finally got some shut eye.

He made his way to the fridge, not bothering with a light, and opened it to fish out a bottle of water, taking a moment to appreciate the interior light that popped on and illuminated his newly repaired kitchen with a soft glow. Water in hand, he started for the stairs, deciding to go ahead and get into pajamas and turn the bed down as he waited, only to veer off course and head out onto his rarely used screened in back porch.

"How long you been out here?" he asked, sitting down in the wicker chair next to the one Zoe was curled up in, an empty bottle of wine and an overturned wine glass at her feet. He sent a quick text to Wade, letting him know she was there before pocketing his phone.

"A while," Zoe admitted. "But not long."

"That makes no sense," Lavon pointed out. Zoe sighed.

"I know. I've been here for a while, but not all evening. I went to the cemetery and just sat for a while. I haven't had a chance to visit Harley and it was the only place I could think of to go after – everything." Lavon noticed then that she was still covered in sand, her hair limp and stringy, her makeup washed away from the buckets of tears he knew she'd cried.

"How are you holding up?" he asked.

"I'm not," Zoe replied bluntly. "I lost an eight year old boy today, Lavon. I couldn't save him. I did everything I could. Everything! Nothing was good enough." There was anger in her voice.

"You did everything you could," Lavon repeated. "You went above and beyond to save that little boy. I know you're going to sit around and beat yourself up and go over and over everything in that mind of yours but Zoe, you really did everything you could." Zoe shook her head.

"You weren't there," she reminded him. "You didn't see his parents. You didn't have to face them and tell them that you couldn't save their little boy. Their child, Lavon!" Zoe felt her heart speeding up as panic set it once again. She closed her eyes and took several deep breaths to try and calm herself. "You weren't there," she repeated.

"You can't save everyone, Big Z," Lavon said softly. Zoe turned her big, sad eyes towards him.

"I know," she admitted. "I just… Before, in New York, I didn't care. I mean, yeah, it sucked when I lost a patient but it was part of the job. Routine. Heart surgery is risky and people die. It happens. I never stopped to realize that I'd lost a person. Not a patient, a person. Someone's grandpa or mother. A daughter, a brother, a best friend… But now, caring, it makes it so hard. Tyler wasn't just another patient. He was a son, a big brother, a grandson… He was only 8 years old. I just… I don't…" Zoe smacked the arm chair in frustration that she couldn't put her thoughts into words. Lavon reached over and covered her hand with his own and waited. "I just wish I didn't care so much," she finally said.

"Zoe, you're a good doctor because you care so much," Lavon told her. "Today wasn't an easy day. You're gonna have days like this. It comes with the job."

"I couldn't save him," Zoe said softly, repeating herself again, the same mantra having run through her mind all evening and well into the night, louder since she downed the bottle of wine. "I did everything…"

"You did everything," Lavon confirmed patiently. "You kept working to save him even when everyone else gave up. The Parkers will remember that for the rest of their lives."

"Maybe," Zoe mumbled. "Or maybe I'm not a good doctor. I couldn't save Tyler. There's nothing I can do for Earl…"

"Zoe, stop," Lavon said sternly. She was a bottle of wine down and beating herself up, making it difficult to get through to her. But he was going to try. "Once again, you did everything you could to save Tyler. And Earl, he's a very sick man. His life decisions played a big part in what's going on with him. Harley, Brick, his kids, me… Everyone in this town at one point or another tried to get through to him. And remember, he decided not to go through with treatment. You've done everything you can to make him comfortable and give Wade and Meredith as much time with their father as you could."

"I know," Zoe sighed. "Deep down, I know. It's just… It's hard. Tyler was in the office not two months ago with a sore throat. I wrote him a prescription and he was back in back in school the next day. It's just… It's really hard not to feel responsible." Lavon knew there would be little reasoning with Zoe tonight. He reached over and patted her shoulder.

"You're a good doctor, Dr. Hart," he said. "And you're an even better person. Things will look better in the morning after you get some sleep." His eyes fell on the bottle of wine. "Well, maybe in the afternoon, when that hangover wears off. Of course, there's always day after tomorrow."

"You're a good friend, Lavon," Zoe said with the faintest of smiles. She drew her knees up to her chest. The sound of Annabeth arriving floated out to where they sat. "Mind if I just sit out here for a while?" Zoe asked. "I know you want to go spend some time with AB."

"Sit out here as long as you need to," Lavon said, already standing. "Just – my bedroom? Off limits." Zoe chuckled then. She'd been known to bust into Lavon's bedroom with one problem or another with no regards for whether he was alone or not.

"Okay," she said. "Tell AB I said hi."

"Will do." Lavon leaned down and planted a big brother-like kiss on top of her head then picked up her empty wine bottle and glass. "Night, Zoe." He heard her mumble a response as he went inside. He greeted Annabeth and directed her towards his bedroom after filling her about Zoe. He was about to follow when Wade slipped into the kitchen and looked at Lavon.

"She's out there," Lavon said, nodding towards the patio. Wade nodded.

"How is she?" he asked.

"Upset," Lavon answered. He nodded towards the bottle and glass he'd left on the counter. "Drunk." Wade sighed. He'd figured as much.

"Thanks, Lavon," he said as he headed towards the door.

"Hey, Wade?" Wade stopped.

"Yeah?"

"Do me a favor. When everything settles down? Take that girl on a vacation. God knows she needs one. And I suspect you could use some time away too." Wade gave Lavon a tired smile.

"I will," he promised. He headed outside then where he found Zoe still in her chair, knees tucked up to her chest, arms wrapped around them, head down. She was nearly asleep. His heart broke for her.

"Hey, baby," he said softly. He leaned down to pick her up. "Let's go home."

"Wade?" Zoe asked groggily.

"I've got you," he said. He kissed the side of her head and made his way back through the house with her. He put her in the passenger's seat of his car and wasn't all together surprised when he managed to get her out of the car and into the house without waking her up.

"Mmm," Zoe moaned as he gently placed her on his bed and carefully started to undress her, knowing she wouldn't want to sleep in the dirty clothes she was wearing. He realized quickly though that she needed a shower. Sand poured from her shoes and a fine later of sand, grit and grime covered most of her body. He left her to turn on the shower and stripped down to his boxers before returning to her.

"Come on, Doc," he said, helping her to her feet. She was still groggy but she walked into the bathroom under her own power and helped Wade with removing the rest of her clothes.

"I'm so tired," she sighed.

"And drunk," Wade said with a small smile.

"That too," Zoe agreed. She stepped under the stream of hot water and closed her eyes, letting the weight of the day fully sink in. Wade removed his boxers and joined her, slipping his arms around her from behind.

"How are you doing?" he asked her gently as the hot water poured over them. Zoe turned to him.

"Just hold me," she said, curling into Wade's chest. Wade tightened his arms around her and let her cry. He didn't let go until they resembled prunes and the hot water was gone.

It had been one of the longest week's Zoe could remember. It had been full of sadness and heartache but also of community. Bluebell had banded together to support the Parker family and even though she felt they deserved it more than her, her neighbors had also been there for her, bringing her pies and cakes and sending her cards of support, thanking her for everything she did to save Tyler.

The day she'd been dreading had happened three days ago. She'd met with the Parkers, sure they were going to demand her head for not being able to save their son. Instead, they thanked her repeatedly, cried with her, hugged her. It was therapeutic for all of them and had helped in their healing process. She'd ended up spending the rest of that evening helping Wade at the Rammer Jammer, both to keep her mind off things and to help him out. He'd never admit it, but she could tell he was overwhelmed with keeping his bar up and running, caring for Earl and being there for her.

In a perfect world, Tyler's funeral would have marked a sort of beginning, a point where she could move forward without thinking about death every day. But that wasn't the case. Earl had held on far longer than she expected but as he slept longer and longer and his vitals slowly crept lower, she knew it wouldn't be long before he slipped out of this world. She and Wade, along with Wade's sister and her family, had spent nearly all of their time with Earl over the last few days, Brick covering the practice to allow her to be with Wade. She'd found herself playing mediator, keeping the steady stream of visitors at bay and thanking them for their pies, casseroles and kind words. It was exhausting, but Zoe wouldn't be anywhere else.

As the sun started sinking on another day, she'd found herself sitting on Earl's back porch, watching Mckenzie and Jacob play with an assortment of bubbles, balls and a plastic golf set they'd been gifted by Shelia Whitaker earlier in the day. Mckenzie, Zoe noticed, had the toy stethoscope from the doctor's kit she'd given the little girl draped around her neck as she played. The little girl had become Zoe's shadow, declaring she wanted to be a doctor and wear high heels too, while Jacob, more reserved than his older sister, had spent a lot of time following Wade around in a sort of quiet hero worship.

"Careful!" Zoe called out as Jacob swung one of the plastic clubs haphazardly, narrowly missing his sister. She chuckled to herself, realizing how much like her own mother, or at least her various nannies, she sounded. Watching the children play, she marveled at the idea that they were so full of life with so much ahead of them as Earl breathed his last breaths just on the other side of the wall. She also thought of Tyler and his sister, how they probably played in their own backyard the same way and never would again. She was deep in thought about the circle of life and death and didn't hear the door open. She jumped when Meredith sat down beside her.

"Sorry," Meredith apologized, the bags under her eyes dark and heavy. "I didn't meant to scare you."

"Don't worry about it," Zoe said with a shake of her head. "I was lost in thought. Never heard the door open."

"There's plenty to think about," Meredith agreed. She fell silent for a few moments, watching her little ones thoughtfully. "Daddy's awake right now," she finally said. "He asked for some time alone with Wade. Eric went upstairs to take a shower and I… I just needed some air."

"How was he?" Zoe asked of Earl. He slept nearly around the clock but in the few minutes of the day he was awake, he tended to mumble nonsense and speak to people that weren't in the room, people like his parents who had passed on years earlier."

"He seemed to have his mind about him," Meredith told her. "You know, last night, I was sitting up with him and he started having a conversation with someone, plain as day. I figured out pretty quickly it was Mama." She turned to look at Zoe. "I know the pamphlets from hospice say that hallucinations are part of the dying process and I know you're a woman of science and won't agree with me, but I think it was Mama. She's there, helping him let go of this world and join hers." Zoe smiled softly.

"I believe that too," she admitted. Once upon a time, she wouldn't have. But being in Bluebell, falling in love, she'd changed. She could believe the impossible.

"You know what he's doing, right?" Meredith asked. Zoe waited for her to continue. "He's telling Wade goodbye." Her voice broke on 'goodbye' and she took several breaths to pull herself together. "He told me goodbye yesterday afternoon, while you and Wade were gone to the Dixie Stop. He went on about how much he loved me, how he wished he'd done things differently, how much he loved the kids… He even told me he liked Eric 'well enough' even if he did marry his only daughter." Zoe chuckled.

"For what it's worth, I never saw Earl as the town drunk," Zoe said carefully, hoping she didn't offend Meredith. "He's observant, intuitive. He's got a knack for telling people what's really going on with them, even when they don't know themselves." Zoe paused. "Wade gets that from him," she added. Meredith turned to look at Zoe.

"You're good for him, you know that? Wade, I mean." Zoe shook her head.

"He's good for me," she said.

"You make him better," Meredith insisted. "He's changed so much since you came into his life. He's happier, responsible. He's always kept the Rammer Jammer up and running and doing well, but the rest of his responsibilities, well, you met him when you moved here."

"Loud music, string of girls, fast car…, yeah, I met him," Zoe said, shaking her head, hardly able to believe he was the same person she'd barged in on during her first night in Bluebell.

"I've always regretted leaving him to fend for himself like I did. I was selfish back then, wanted nothing more than to get the hell out of here and away from Daddy and the mess his life had become. Then he got into trouble with Tansy, gave up college… I just figured he'd end up like Daddy and let him to it. I should've been there."

"You can't change the past," Zoe said gently. "But I've seen how much closer the two of you have gotten since Earl's been sick. Maybe consider it a second chance?" Meredith smiled sadly and nodded.

"Definitely," she agreed. "Besides, I've always wanted a sister and Eric's an only child," she added, giving Zoe a knowing look. Zoe smiled, thinking of how someday Wade's family truly would be hers, even if she already had started to consider them as such.

"I wouldn't hate having a sister either," Zoe said. "Only child too. Unless my mother or Harley have some sort of illegitimate child I don't know about. Given how I came to be, it's not entirely unlikely." She was only half kidding.

"I guess we both have messed up families, huh?" Meredith asked. Zoe nodded in agreement as Meredith sighed heavily. "I shouldn't have ever let Wade deal with Daddy on his own," she said. "He's always looked after him, sung him down from the roof, made sure he had food to eat, that his bills got paid. I blew into town about once every other month or so to visit for a couple of hours and spent nearly the entire time telling him how he needed to get his life together or berating him for how he let the house get. Now…" She trailed off. Zoe remained quiet, waiting to see if Meredith would say more. When she didn't, Zoe decided it was time to change the subject, steer Meredith away from beating herself up further for things she couldn't change.

"You know, Mac looks a lot like your mother," she said. "Wade was showing me pictures the other day. The resemblance was uncanny."

"She does," Meredith said, smiling softly as she watched her daughter blowing bubbles for her little brother to chase. "But between me and you? She acts like Wade, so much so it's even more uncanny than how much she looks like Mama. When we were kids and Wade would get in trouble, he'd run and hide in the coat closet in the hall. I don't know why it never occurred to him to find a new spot because after the first few times, Mama and Daddy knew where to look. Mac does the exact same thing when she gets in trouble. Except she goes into the pantry in the kitchen. And usually helps herself to cookies, chips, whatever she can reach."

"You know what he does when he gets in trouble now?" Zoe asked seriously.

"What?" Meredith asked, her eyes brightening with amusement.

"He comes home with a bottle of wine, my favorite cookies and an apology." Meredith burst out laughing.

"Seriously?" she asked.

"Every time," Zoe confirmed. "Unless it was my fault but I'm always right so it never is."

"Oh, it's never our fault," Meredith agreed. "When Eric knows I'm mad at him, he stops at my favorite bakery near his office. I can tell by what he brings home just how guilty he is. A cupcake and all is forgiven. One of their peanut butter cheesecakes and he'll be sleeping on the couch." Zoe opened her mouth to continue dishing about Wade, enjoying bonding with Meredith, but they were interrupted by Wade. He didn't say anything, but he didn't need to. His clenched jaw and red eyes told them everything.

"I should give the kids their baths," Meredith said, knowing her brother had come in search of Zoe. She stood and called for Mac and Jake who came surprisingly willingly compared to most evenings. Mac chanced a friendly smile at her uncle as she passed but both children seemed to sense their fun Uncle Wade wasn't himself. Once they were inside, Wade sat down next to Zoe on the porch steps. She slid closer to him and looped her arm through his. Resting her head on his shoulder, she waited until he was ready to talk.

"I spent most of my childhood wishing it was him instead of her," Wade said quietly, anger laced in his voice. "I didn't understand – truth be told, I still don't understand – why God would take Mama and not him. Why would he take the good parent and leave me and Meredith with Earl? Meredith and me took care of ourselves. We got ourselves up for school, fixed our own meals, worked to pay bills, washed our own clothes, did all the things a parent was supposed to do while Earl drank himself into oblivion night in and night out.

"And it didn't stop, neither. Here I am, thirty damn years old and singing him off a roof the first of every month, like I'm the parent and he's the child. He wouldn't eat if I didn't bring him food from the Rammer Jammer. I've had to pay his bills more times than I can count because he didn't bother. Why in the hell did it take until he's on his death bed for him to bother to let us know how much he loves us?"

Zoe didn't know what to say to comfort Wade so she remained by his side, lacing her fingers through his, their arms still looped together, to let her know she was there for him.

"You know what he wanted?" he asked Zoe. "To tell me goodbye. Who does he think he is?"

"Wade," Zoe said softly. She squeezed his hand. "It's okay to be angry." She knew she'd hit the nail on the head when Wade let go of her hand and rubbed his hands roughly over his face.

"I'm not angry," he said. "I'm pissed off."

"Why?" Zoe pressed. She knew Wade and knew he needed to talk about what was going on in his head. She also knew he'd need a few buttons pushed to get him to open up. He'd come a long way, just as she had, but he still had his demons.

"Because he's dying!" Wade erupted. "He's dying, Zoe! And there ain't a damn thing I can do about it!" He cracked then, letting his emotions surface. Zoe averted her eyes while he wiped at his tears, knowing he would rather her not see him cry. Several minutes passed before he was able to pull himself together.

"I'm sorry," he apologized.

"There's nothing to apologize for," Zoe told him. "You're allowed to be angry."

"Is this how you felt?" he asked. "Last week, I mean? With Tyler?" Zoe considered his question answer.

"Sort of," she said. "I was angry at myself because I couldn't save him, even though I knew I did everything I could. I think this is a little different though. You're not mad at yourself. You're mad at Earl."

"Damn right, I'm mad at him!" Wade fumed. "I've spent more than half my life looking after him, trying to make sure he had food to eat, a roof over his head, that he didn't get behind the wheel and kill somebody. And then he goes and dies from alcohol anyway."

There were few times in her life when she was left speechless, but this was one of them. She reached over and rubbed his back, hoping he understood that she was there for him.

"We had to watch Mama die," Wade said quietly. "I didn't want to have to do it all over again."

"We don't get to choose how we die," Zoe said softly. "I know it means everything to Earl to have you and Meredith here with him. And I know too that you wouldn't want to be anywhere else." Slowly, Wade shook his head.

"He kept telling me how proud of me he is," he told Zoe. "He acted like I'd won a Nobel Peace Prize or something when all I've ever done was screw up my shot at a college education and end up back here, running a bar."

"I think he has every reason to be proud of you," Zoe told him. "I know I am." Wade studied her, a look of wonder on his face.

"I don't deserve you," he finally said. "Never have, never will."

"I tend to think that about you," Zoe told him. Wade scoffed. "I do. Even if you'll never accept that I'm as lucky to have you as you think you are to have me. Which, for the record, I think you got the shorter end of the stick. I'm bossy, neurotic, a total handful… You really got stuck with a dud." Wade chuckled despite himself.

"Agree to disagree?" he asked. Zoe smiled and nodded.

"Sure," she agreed. Wade took her hand again. His hand grazed back and forth over the ring finger on her left hand.

"He was talkin' 'bout how he wouldn't be around to see us get married," he said softly. "He was tellin' me to be good to you, to love you and hold on to you, no matter what. Then he got all sad and said he wished he could see us get married, especially since Mama is gone. All I could do was promise him I'd marry you someday." Zoe looked at their interlocked fingers then at Wade. An idea popped into her mind and before she could convince herself it was a bad idea, she was opening her mouth.

"Then why don't we?" she asked. Wade looked at her.

"Why don't we what?"

"Get married," Zoe said as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. "This evening, even. I'm sure Reverend Mayfair would be happy to come out here and conduct the ceremony. He's been coming out here every day to visit with Earl anyway. We can get married right in the living room. Earl will never have to leave his hospital bed. We'll call Lavon and Annabeth, they'd kill us if we missed it. And maybe George and Lemon too. Although Lemon will probably be furious that we beat her to the alter. Oh, and Brick. He'd have to be here. He's… Well, he's Brick and the closest thing to Harley I've got so he'll have to do and…"

"Zoe," Wade interrupted. She didn't hear him.

"And Meredith and Eric and the kids are already here. Mac can be the flower girl and Jacob can be the ring bearer. We don't have rings, but that's a minor detail. We'll figure that out. Same for a marriage license. Lavon's the mayor. He can pull some strings and get us one. I can run home and get this great Kate Spade dress I have…"

"Zoe," Wade tried again.

"It'll be great. After everything that happened with Tyler and everything that's going on with Earl, I think a wedding is just what we need. Something happy and light that can make everyone smile and forget all the pain for a while." She finally stopped talking and looked at Wade. "So, what do you think?" Wade took a deep breath.

"I want to marry you," he said, realizing now just how much he wanted Zoe as his wife. Zoe's eyes lit up and she went to open her mouth again but Wade stopped her, speaking quickly. "But not like this," he said. His heart twisted as Zoe's face fell and he almost took it back.

"But…" she started.

"Zoe, I love you," Wade said, pulling her even closer to him. "But Doc, this ain't what you want. This kind of weddin,' I mean. You done already said you wanted a big wedding for all of Bluebell and your New York friends to come to. Something about Pinterest…" Zoe grinned just a little, remembering their conversation a couple weeks ago. "As much as I want to say yes, absolutely, let's get married – this isn't the right time or the right way."

"I just… I thought…" Zoe was a bit surprised to find she had a hard time explaining herself.

"I'm gonna marry you some day," Wade promised. "But when I do, it'll be done right. I'll get down on one knee and ask you to be my wife, put a sparkly ring on your finger. We'll have the weddin' you've been dreamin' about and go on a proper honeymoon. 'Course, I probably ain't gonna care about stuff like flowers and tablecloths and whatever else George is always complainin' 'bout Lemon obsessin' over, but I'll put up with if its what makes you my wife. And I reckon your Mom and that Gigi friend of yours mind want to be here to see you get married too."

"You're probably right," Zoe admitted, realizing how rash she'd been. "I just… Everyone is hurting and sad and I want to do something to help."

"Come here," Wade whispered, two words that Zoe loved to hear him say. He pulled her into his lap so he could hold her close. "This right here?" he asked. "You, here with me? This helps more than you know." Zoe didn't reply. She just laid her head on his shoulder. They sat there for a while, both allowing the other's presence to calm them.

"You know," Zoe finally said. "My mom would have probably came down here just to kill me if I'd gotten married without her here. Gigi would have come along too to help dig the grave."

"Somethin' tells me I'd be the one in the ground," Wade said. He kissed Zoe's cheek then helped her to her feet, deciding it was time they get inside and check on Earl, maybe find something to eat. As he held the door open for Zoe, he reached into his left pocket and closed his hands briefly around the contents. Just minutes before he'd joined Zoe on the porch, Earl had given him his mother's engagement ring. It would be Zoe's one day, probably sooner rather than later.

A shrill ringing woke Zoe from a deep sleep. Groggily, she sat up and groped in the dark for her phone, locating it on the nightstand but not before knocking over a bottle of lotion and sending the book she'd been reading before she'd finally fallen asleep tumbling to the ground. She briefly registered Wade's name and '2:30 AM' on the alarm clock before answering.

"Hello?" she asked, her voice full of sleep.

"Zo…" came Wade's voice. Zoe was alert at once, the urgency and heartbreak in his voice getting her full attention. "You need…" he broke off, as he took a ragged breath. Zoe didn't need to hear anymore.

"I'm on my way," she told him. She hung up, turned on a lamp and got out of bed all in one swift motion, cursing herself for allowing Wade to talk her into heading home for the night instead of staying at Earl's with him like she'd planned. His speech about her needing rest, especially after the week she'd had and their talk on the porch the night before which had subsequently resulted in them staying up into the wee hours of the morning doing anything but talking as quietly as they could in Wade's childhood bedroom, had made sense at the time but now she was at least 20 minutes away.

Having somehow intuitively known the call she'd just received would come during the night, she'd worn something more presentable than she usually would to bed, allowing her to skip the step of dressing as she rushed to collect her bag and slip on the first pair of shoes she found, her old Wellies. Tangled hair flying behind her, she rushed out the door, grabbing her car keys from the table by the door.

She knew Bluebell well by now but at night, it was a different animal. She drove as fast as she safely could, slowing for curves and slamming on the brakes at one point to avoid a herd of deer crossing the road, her heart in her throat. Tears burned at her eyes but she did her best to push them out. There would be time to cry later. Right now, she needed to be Dr. Hart. Wade, Meredith and Earl needed her to be Dr. Hart.

It had rained on and off all day and combined with the humidity, a thick fog had formed in places. She navigated it as best she could, driving in general still a new concept to her, let alone driving through fog. Heat lightning crackled in the cloudy sky and she could practically feel more rain coming. It took her thirty minutes before she was finally turning into Earl's old driveway on the outskirts of town.

Every light in the old home was on. Zoe was struck suddenly with a clear vision of how it used to be – a time when the paint was fresh and the yard was kept, the fields around it thriving, Wade and Meredith playing in the side yard under the big oak tree that had withstood more storms than anyone would ever be able to count. It was such a vivid picture that Zoe could hardly believe it wasn't real when she blinked and once more saw the dilapidated home before her. She grabbed her bag and tumbled out of the car in hurry, catching herself on the door before she hit the ground.

Wade appeared on the porch then, the dim porch light illuminating the exhaustion and sadness that had permeated every nook of his body. As Zoe made her way to him, she wished she could take away even a sliver of his pain. She climbed the stairs and made for the door, but Wade stopped her. He didn't say a word, but pulled her into a tight hug, burying his face in her hair and drawing in a shaky deep breath. The sound of another car crunching the gravel followed by the flood of headlights followed, making them both look.

"Reverend Mayfair," Wade told her. He squeezed Zoe's arm before letting her go. "Go on in," he said. "I'll wait here for the reverend." Zoe nodded and entered the house. Just outside the living room, she paused and took a few deep breaths, conjuring up every ounce of strength she had. When she entered, it was all she could do not to walk right back out.

Earl was lying in his hospital bed and looked almost peaceful except a purple tinge had taken over his body and with each breath, now, Zoe realized, few and far between, was emitting a rattling sound. Meredith was at his side, holding his hand and crying quietly. Eric sat on a sofa nearby, Jacob asleep in his lap, Mckenzie sitting at his side, her head resting on her daddy's shoulder, clutching a doll as she took everything in with observant eyes.

"Hi, Dr. Zoe," she said softly.

"Hi, Mac," Zoe replied, managing a small smile for the little girl. Meredith and Eric had gone back and forth on whether to allow the children to be in the room when Earl passed but ultimately, Mac, ever observant, had made the decision for them, asking if she could sit with her Pappy when he went to meet Jesus. Wade had protested at first, not thinking it appropriate for small children to watch her grandfather die, but ultimately, it was what Meredith and Eric had felt was the best decision for their children.

"Pappy's gonna go be with Grandmomma now," McKenzie told Zoe. "He was talkin' to her the other day and said he'd see her soon." Zoe didn't know what to say so she offered McKenzie another smile before approaching Earl. She looked at his hospice nurse, Margaret, who was hovering nearby.

"I can't register a blood pressure anymore," she told Zoe quietly. "His pulse is slow and difficult to detect. His breathing has stopped a few times but picks back up. His breathes per minute are minimal, however." Zoe nodded to show her understanding.

"His hands are so cold," Meredith said. She looked at Zoe. "It won't be long now, will it?" Zoe shook her head sadly.

"No," she whispered. Wade entered then, followed by Reverend Mayfair. He hovered by the door, not willing or perhaps not able, to come any closer. Zoe did a quick check of vitals then went to stand by his side while Reverend Mayfair led them in a prayer.

"Wade?" Meredith asked once Reverend Mayfair finished. "Come sit with us." Everyone in the room watched as brother and sister had a silent conversation with their eyes. Finally, with a resolute nod of his head, Wade moved to sit by Earl's other side, taking his hand as well.

"Is he in pain?" Wade asked Zoe. He reminded her of a small child, lost and confused. She shook her head.

"No," she promised. "He's not."

"But his breathing…. That sound…"

"It's the death rattle," Meredith answered. "It's normal. I read about it in the book hospice gave us."

"Saliva is gathering in his throat," Zoe explained. "He doesn't feel a thing, likely isn't aware that he's making any noise at all. If you'd like, I can give him something to lessen the effect." Both Wade and Meredith shook their head in reply, both determined their father wouldn't have any more drugs.

The clock ticked away the minutes, the only sound in the room aside from Earl's erratic breathing. Zoe periodically checked his vitals, each check proving more difficult than the one before it to detect anything at all. Her instincts told her it wouldn't be much longer.

Earl let out another rattling breath but an inhale never followed. Every eye was on her as she made her way back to Earl's side, her feet feeling heavier with each step. She checked for a pulse, any sign of breath. Then she checked again. When she was sure she wouldn't find anything, her eyes sought those of the hospice nurse.

"Time of death," she whispered, glancing at the clock on the wall, "3:37 AM."

Everything after that happened at once. Meredith let out a gut wrenching sob echoed by telltale sniffles from McKenzie who had big, crocodile tears streaming from her blue eyes. Jacob, now awake, wiggled out of his father's lap and crossed the room to his mother while Eric wrapped McKenzie in a hug and wiped away his own tears. Revered Mayfield asked to pray again while Margaret mentioned calling the undertaker. Wade stood and exited the room quickly, slamming the front door behind him. Zoe, unable to follow, wiped away her own tears and used superhuman strength to focus on her role as doctor. The sound of Wade's tires squealing out the driveway would fill her ears for hours to come.

That was hard to write. REALLY hard. But as I mentioned, also therapeutic. This was my experience. My Papa passed with his entire family surrounding him – his wife, his sister, all of his children, their spouses, his 15 grandchildren, right down to the four year old baby in the family. I'm telling you this to help understand why *I* chose to write these scenes the way I did.

As for Tyler, I drew his story from a family friend. Their circumstances and how they lost one of their young children, was quite different, but ultimately the same.

I'm so sorry this was so sad. But remember, Wade and Zoe are actually a happy (despite the sadness), functioning couple in my story with no cheating to be had.

I hope you liked this. And I hope you'll keep reading. I've only got a handful of updates left, but I have another story I'm dying to start in mind.

Thank you so much for reading!

Sarah