Disclaimer: This work is a derivative work of fiction. All copyrights belong to their respective owners (whoever they may be). This is a not-for-profit work and has been created for amusement (and ego) purposes only.

To Be a Better Father

Kami, it's hard work writing a book. I never realized that it would be more demanding than drinking 2 bottles of sake! Still, for the sake of fathers who want to raise True Martial Artists everywhere, I must endure! We've reached the last chapter of my book folks. For my part, I'm sure that the wisdom given out so far will prove to be of immense help in raising your own True Martial Artist! So, let's just skip this chapter and pretend that the pages have been ripped out, ok?

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..

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I can't do it! My conscience (And the bottle that the Master has hidden away) won't let me leave things like this! Still, it does raise the question - what else is there to write about? I spent many hours in the local pub thinking this very question.

And then I figured it out! Or rather the feedback I got from the preview of this book helped. It turns out that there are many fathers out there who would like to do MORE for their children. To go out of their way and help create a loving family bond. Now, I've put together a few tips that should help such fathers out. Let's begin shall we?

Get Healthier Together

Research has repeatedly shown that families that eat together, stay together! Which is EXACTLY why you took your boy with you on his training trip! And what better way to teach him how to eat as a martial artist, than by showing him how to defend his plate! Let me explain - A martial artist is always surrounded by danger. When a child is near his mother, much of this danger is minimized. But, for a True Martial Artist, it won't do to let your boy be lulled into a sense of false security. So, to simulate the real world, every once in a while (at least twice a day), you NEED to steal food from his plate. Don't do it discreetly. You WANT your boy to realize that YOU are taking his food. For when the boy observes a problem, he'll try to solve it! And THAT is what you are hoping for. We need the boy to get used to defending his plate from ANY and ALL companions! In fact, if you train him well enough, he won't 'just' be able to successfully defend his plate by the time he reaches fiancee-hood, but will be skilled enough to be able to steal from your own plate too! Trust me, it will be a PROUD moment in your life as a father when that happens! Just make sure to train him to do it only twice a day.

Spend More Quality Time

Family rituals foster togetherness and open the lines of communication. For a young martial artist, this is CRITICAL. You cannot let your boy out of your sight no matter what! Even if nature calls! When that happens, accompany him and ensure that he's doing all-right. A side benefit to monitoring your brat this way, is that it will give you an early warning when puberty strikes. Though, the real reason is to prevent him from becoming a coward and running away. It was a source of endless problems when my brat attempted to run away from his training. I mean, the way he was running, anyone would think that I was some sort of demonic monster! Which, as those who know me well, can tell you, is absurd! In my days, we used to use ropes to tie our brats near us. Just make sure you don't tighten things around his neck too tightly. Remember, he has to eat! Though, these days, many parents tell me, its much easier to gift your brat a cell-phone. If you can afford it, then use the GPS tracker found in most phones to locate your boy when he runs off. I agree it's an easy way to track your boy down, but the risk is that you might end up growing distant from your boy. In the end, just use whatever works for you.

Talk to Your Kids

Every parent wants their teens to come to them if they have a problem. But you have to open the lines of communication and establish trust before your teens will feel comfortable sharing with you. From the moment your boy learns how, reading a book with him is a good way to grow the bond as father and son. Just make sure you select the correct reading material. And considering that we want to bond with our child, avoid training scrolls. Those are to be used another time! Instead, go for some other literary works. The Indian book "Kama Sutra" is good bonding material. And the German title "Mien Kampf" will help explain how to handle aggression. The Chinese book "The Art of War" is a wonderful book that will help you both during long and cold winter nights.

Be a Good Role Model

You are your child's first teacher of right and wrong. Your boy will learn a lot about your priorities by watching you and the resolutions you set. While it's necessary to train your boy in the family art, it might not be a good thing if your boy idolizes you. I mean, we want our children to become BETTER than us, right? How else will they support our retirement? So, every once in a while visit a nearby temple or monastery. And when you are busy testing the security of a local restaurant, it's all-right to get caught. Pretend enough so your boy doesn't suspect what s going on. The time you spend in jail with your boy, will not only be a good memory, but it will also expose your child to the hidden side of humanity. All these different influences will help shape your boy to become a productive member of society! I should know. My boy turned out all-right.

Get Help if Your Teen Is Struggling

If every year you work to become a better parent and your teen continues to fall deeper into trouble, don't be ashamed to get help. It's a part of being a parent. We're only human after-all! So, if your boy gets stuck with training technique, seek help. One of my favourite sources of help are the local pets. Cats in particular make good company when training your boy to become a True Martial Artist! Also, hot-springs. In the event that you cannot explain certain concepts about other creatures to your brat, just take him to the Jusenkyo hot springs located in China. Have him EXPERIENCE how things are like. You will essentially open a whole new WORLD for your boy!

Negotiate

There are times negotiation can work effectively. At least that's what OTHER parenting books say. "What's the point?", I must ask those useless authors! You should NEVER negotiate with your boy. Remember he has to grow and become a True Martial Artist. Not a diplomat! And should never question your authority! It will help give him a sense of purpose in life and provide you the comfort of knowing that your retirement plan is well-taken care of.

Parting Words:
Well, that's all the wisdom I have to impart for now. I hope that you work hard and TRAIN your boy to become a True Martial Artist! And yourself, to become the BEST Father in the World; I know I have! (^_^)

-G. Saotome

Epilogue: "What started this all...!"

Author's Notes:

Thanks a lot for all the reviews and attention that you've given to this story folks! It means a lot to me, knowing that I brought a smile to your faces. All that's left now, is to upload the original one-shot that started everything. I'll have that done in a few days.

I thought about ending this with Ranma suddenly finding out or reading the book, but ... it breaks the flow which I had in mind. When I started to make this into a "book" format, I referred many real parenting books and sites for inspiration. While this is a crack/humor story, I want to keep the original "book" flavor, so except for Genma, no-one else makes an appearance.

If you liked this story, please leave a review - they brighten my day and inspire me to write more. Or even better, link back to this story from other sites! The publicity will help boost my ego, and will provide more visibility to the story.

-chronodekar
(18/November/2011)

EDIT: It has come to my attention that the last chapter is possibly in violation of 's TOS (Terms Of Service). Specifically, it might appear that the rule "do not publish lists" is the issue. To avoid this entire story from being deleted, I'm removing the last chapter. My humblest apologies to all my readers.

-chronodekar
(9/June/2012)