The Fallen Box in the Attic

Mum and Dad say it's important to have a good set of values and to get that, do you know what they do? They put me to work! It's an outrage, it is. Aunt Petunia died a few months back; since Uncle Vernon had died a few years ago she had been living on her own. Since Cousin Dudley was too grief stricken to clean (eye roll) our family was asked to do so. Of course, my family agreed, even after the rotten treatment my father had received from them. So now I'm stuck in this dusty, dirty attic, cleaning. I was just about to finish up for the day when I elbowed a box that was on a shelf.

"Brilliant." I say to myself.

I kneel down and pick up the contents that had spilled out of box. They're old muggle pictures. I take them one by one and put them back in the wooden box, which I realise has a crack in it from me knocking it over. Hopefully dad won't notice. I grabbed all the pictures and then realized there was still one left on the ground. I pick it up and with a jolt realise that it's me in the picture. But the picture looks much too old for it to be me and I don't recognize the place or the girl standing next to me. Then I realize that the boy in the picture isn't me, though we look remarkably alike. The boy in the picture had longer, darker hair and dark brown, almost black eyes. But despite looking rather poor, he had a brilliant smile on his face. He was looking at the red-haired girl. I realize that if this boy looks so much like me it must be my grand-pa James and grand-ma Lily in the picture. I flip the picture around to look at the date. 1968. I didn't know they had known each other for that long. Then I notice what's written on the back: Lily Evans and Severus Snape, summer '68, summer day at the park. Dad had talked about Severus Snape, feared potions master of Hogwarts, spy for the Order, the man that I aspire to be like; 'he was a brave man' my father had always said. To honour him I was named after him. I am quite proud of my name. Albus Severus Potter. I hold the picture closer to my face. He did have a strong resemblance to me. Curiosity piqued, I took all the pictures out again and looked at them. There were many pictures of grand-ma and great aunt Petunia, but there were no others of Severus and Grand-ma. I looked at the box in disappointment. Then I saw something sticking out of a corner inside of the box. Of course! I face palmed myself. Da! There was a secret compartment! I took the screw driver (muggle tool) that my father had given me to take out the shelves with and wedged it between the sides of the box and the secret compartment. With a satisfying pop it opened. Inside the secret compartment was a thin book that said Lily's Diary, don't touch. Well, she is dead, so... I opened the book. On the first page it said: Happy birthday Lily. I know you wanted somewhere to write your thoughts, so I got you this. Severus. 1975. I flipped the page to the first entry.

"June 5th 1979

Dear diary,

I had forgotten that Sev gave me this. After our falling out in fifth year I didn't even want to look at this book, so I had hid it under my bed. We still haven't talked to each other. I miss the friendship we had. I miss him. I saw him in Diagon Alley today. He looks so pale and sad. He's been through so much in his short life. I wish he had made better decisions. It's silly but as a young girl I had always pictured myself being married to him. As a woman I realise that that will never happen. I'm glad I have James and I love him very much. I get this ache in my heart whenever I think of what life would be like without him. But, sometimes I get that same ache when I think of Sev. I wish I could have saved him! Though I think I was right that he was beyond that point. He was too far into the dark arts by fifth year and I couldn't stand being around his friends.

I know he knew I was there today but he didn't even look at me once! I wish this ache in my heart would go away. I'm afraid to admit that...I miss him very much. It's so confusing! He was my first crush, my first kiss, naturally I thought he would be my first everything, my everything. Don't get me wrong I love James. But it's a different kind of love. I don't know how to explain it. This is just a silly diary anyway, I don't need to explain myself. Severus was my past, James is my future. No point in dwelling what will never be.

Lily"

I couldn't believe it. I didn't even know that Snape had grown up with my grand-ma, my dad had never told me that, though my dad didn't really talk much about the relationship between Snape and his mum. I know I shouldn't be nosy, and this is a woman's (my grand-mother's, no less) private thoughts but I am a Slytherin after all.

"June 28th 1979,

Dear diary,

James had been gone on Order duty for a week. I was worried about him. But then he came home and he brought me flowers (lilies, of course), chocolates and brought me out for a wonderful evening. He still amazes me and this just reminds me of the reasons of why I fell in love with him. He's such a great man. Sometimes I wonder what I did to deserve him. I can hear him calling for me! Oh, I hate writing such a short entry, but James says he has another surprise for me. It probably won't be awhile before I write again. I have such a busy schedule!

Love,

Lily

September 13th 1979,

Dear journal,

Finally, I have found the time to write again! I have the weekend off so I have plenty of time on my hands. It's awfully lonely here. James is gone on Order business again with Sirius. Remus has gone soul searching in America, whatever that means. Peter isn't very good company. I'd say that this journal is more company than Peter, which is pretty pathetic. Frank and Alice have gone on a second honeymoon and Mary is too wrapped up in her new relationship to pay attention to anyone else but her new beau. I have found a positive side to being lonely, though. I am redecorating one of the rooms. James and I are trying to have a baby. The room we had stored all our junk will be used as the nursery. So my mission for the day is to clear out all the junk."

That entry ended abruptly there and didn't continue. I looked at my watch. 4:30. Soon Dad will be yelling to everyone that it's time to go home for supper. I turn the next page and realize that grand-ma didn't really write much in her diary. There were only three more pages left. This makes me feel sad because suddenly I realize that this is the last bit we have left of grand-ma. Dad will be glad I found this, but I know it will make him sad.

"November 1st 1979,

Dear diary,

I don't even know where to start with this entry. I feel as though my world has come down in one fell swoop. One bad decision and everything has been ruined. I don't even have a reasonable excuse for what I have done. It is horrible and unforgivable. I don't deserve this blessed life and wonderful husband... I need to calm down and start from the beginning. James was gone last night. Halloween is my favourite time of the year. Since I didn't know that I would be home for the night I decided to go out to Diagon Alley to buy candy for the children that would stop by. On my way there I saw Severus heading to the potions store. He looked horribly sad and he was limping. It took all my courage but I decided to go up to him. He told me to sod off, like I had expected he would say. Finally he told me that if I would stop bothering him he would talk to me, only briefly. We decided to apparate to muggle London so that no one would see us together. According to him, it would be dangerous for me if we were spotted together. We walked to a small coffee shop where we sat in silence for the longest while. I couldn't help but observe how broken he looked. To some degree he has always been like this, but never had I seen him this bad! After some coaxing he finally started to tell me what had been going on in his life. Once he started, it seemed he couldn't stop.

He told me that he wished he had never joined You-Know-Who's ranks because of the despicable things he had been forced to do and had witnessed. He told me that he had only joined because he had no one else to turn to, only his Death Eater friends. At that moment I realized that it was partially my fault he had went down this path in his life. If we had stayed friends he may have not become a Death Eater. He looked like he was going to be ill, so I apparated him to Spinner's End. The house looked the same as I remembered it as a child; dark and looming. I still don't understand why he still lives there even after all the horrible things that have happened to him in that house. Once he had sat shakily down on the sofa, I turned to leave. He asked me, almost begged me, not to leave. So I didn't. He looked so sad and lonely. Like a lost puppy... sort of. After what seemed like forever, sitting in silence, he told me with reluctance that he had always been in love with me. I was speechless. I hadn't known. Why couldn't he have told me this before? Things could have been so much different. Within seconds he was standing right in front of me, his face only inches away. Of course, you must think he kissed me. But he didn't... I did. He was so surprised he didn't even move. I was about to leave and tell him this had been a big mistake. But then he kissed me back and it was like a dream come true. Too bad that it is too late for us. Well as you can imagine, I woke up this morning in a bed, and it was not my own. He told me that Voldemort was sending him on a mission, a dangerous one, he told me he might not come back. I cried and we kissed and we said our final good-byes. It isn't until I got home that I realized I had betrayed James. I'm so bloody sorry! I don't know what I should do now. I know I have to tell James some day... but, in the very distant future. I just hope that this won't ruin my marriage and that James can forgive me. I just... I don't know what to do.

Lily"

There were water marks on the page. I think they're from her tears. I can't believe my grand-ma kissed Snape! Ew! Uncle Ron used to call him an oversized bat, until Dad had told him to be respectful of the dead. He used to say that his hair was gross and greasy. I looked at the picture again, but the boy's hair didn't look greasy. I look sadly down at the journal; there are only two more entries left.

"January 14th 1980

Oh Merlin! I just took a pregnancy test. Not the muggle kind but the wizard kind. It tells you how far along you are, the day of conception and the gender of the child. I am having a boy! Unfortunately, that's where the good news ends. I feared that this might be the results. To my utter horror, the charm I cast on myself told me that I had conceived this child on October 31st 1979. Merlin's beard! What will I tell James! I... I feel like such a traitor. The wizarding world will frown upon this and have even more reasons to hate muggle borns. I have to hide the baby's true parentage, no matter the cost. I found a charms book that will permanently change the looks of my baby. As much as it pains me to hide whatever features Sev will pass on to this child, it would be too dangerous for the baby and Sev to know the truth. He's still gone on his mission and I fear for his life. I haven't heard a word from him since the morning of the 1st of November. Hopefully by the time I write again, things will be better.

Lily"

Oh dear Lord! Never in a million years had I ever imagined this! Of course, it would make sense why I looked so much like young Severus from the photo. He was my grand-father! This could destroy my dad if he ever found out. And yet, dad hates lies. I know I have to show him this. Unfortunately there is only one entry left, though it looks like grand-ma had torn out a considerable amount of papers from the book. What was so secret that she couldn't even keep in her diary? I mean, I can't think of anything more earth shattering than finding out that my dad is Snape's kid. I look back down at the diary.

"August 1st 1980,

Dear Severus,"

Odd, this one was dedicated to Snape. Almost as if she had wanted him to find her diary.

"Harry is the name James and I decided for our son. He looks so much like you. My heart aches thinking about changing his true appearance. But it must be done. I hope you understand. I am so very tired, but I needed to write this down. There is so much turmoil in my heart. I love you and I love our son. When I first realized Harry was your son I had wished he was James'. Please forgive me. But now, as I look down at this beautiful being, I couldn't be happier that he is yours. If only you were here. I wish that you could hold your new born son. I wish this stupid war would just end and leave us alone. I wish that the man sleeping next to my bed in a chair was you. James loves Harry. I don't deserve him as a husband. I told him what had happened and he forgave me. He is assisting me in changing Harry's features. I can't even write how unspeakably wonderful James has been through all of this. I know that he was always awful to you in school, but I think that him protecting our son has more than made up for it. At first he was furious and had left for months. I thought he would never come back. But he did, though reluctantly. He is still very angry at me. I think that changing Harry's features into his own will make it more bearable for him to raise Harry. I really hope he doesn't come to resent Harry. He is an innocent and had no choice in who his parents are. James swore to protect the baby and I. I think he still loves me and that is why he is doing all this for Harry and I.

People are saying that you are dead. I'm praying that you aren't, but you have been missing for seven months and I haven't seen you in nine. Once this war is over, I will return Harry's natural features and I will tell you all about our son. If you never get this letter or my diary then this secret has gone to the grave with both James and I. I love you so very much and I wish I could say more, but I am exhausted. Giving birth to your son was no easy task.

Always,

Lily"

Oh Merlin, this is even weirder than I originally thought. My dad's life is like one of those muggle soap opera's.

"James, Lily, Al, let's go! It's time to go home!" I jump in surprise as I hear my dad yell out. I grab the pictures and the diary and put them in the box. I hear a flutter behind me and find that I had been sitting on a picture all along. I pick it up. This picture is a magical one. My grand-ma is holding a baby, my dad, in her arms. She blows a kiss at the camera and is mouthing something. I stare at it for a few minutes until I realize that she is mouthing: "I love you, Sev." I decide that I will tell my dad tonight.

"Come on, Alby. We're going to be late for supper!" I hear Lily yell out. She was the most impatient out of all of us.

"Coming!" I yell out. Before I leave the attic I make sure I grabbed everything and then run down the stairs to my family.

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