Hey kiddos. :D

...I mean readers.

This is just a semi-silly fanfiction I wanted to write. It's kinda just for giggles, so if you have the time to read it, I hope you giggle too :)

And when I say play, I kinda more so mean a scenario. Like, well... you'll see. Kazehana explains it all :3

I'll go through each Sekirei as the chapters progress.

And, as always, I don't own Sekirei.

Please enjoy!

"Hey... Which one of us has the power with the best angle to ensnare Minato-kun with?"

All of the Sekirei residents of Izumo Inn (minus a shopping Miya) turned to look at Kazehana, who was absentmindedly staring outside, a bottle of sake dangling lazily in her hand. However, her gaze intensified as she turned to face her companions, hitting them with a sultry, slightly drunken smile.

All of them gazed back at her in return, confusion, interest and embarrassment dominating their faces.

"Eh?"

Kazehana smiled even wider and leaned in, her hands on the tatami mat, voluptuous breasts squished in between, "What I mean is... who has the best play?"

~.~.~.

"Y-y-you! What are you asking so suddenly!" A beet-red Tsukiumi was the first to react, jumping from her spot on the living room floor. She pointed a finger accusingly at Kazehana while shaking with embarrassment and anger.

"Ara~ I didn't think you'd know what I was talking about Panties Flasher-Chan..." Amused, Kazehana nodded at the book in the blonde's hand, "What kind of books have you been reading lately?"

Matsu set her laptop aside and crawled over to check, "Let's see, let's see..." when she spotted the title, the computer expert snickered, "Winning Over the Mother-In-Law, 100 Tricks to Earn Her Respect?" She looked up at the even redder Tsukiumi, "Already thinking that far ahead?"

The Water Sekirei huffily pulled the book to her chest and sniffled, "My first meeting with her did not go to well." She clenched her first at the memory but continued, "However, as the legal wife, I am obligated to maintain a good relationship with that Takami-san. So..."

"Musubi already has a good relationship with Takami-san, since Takami-san was Musubi's tuner." Chirped the brunette fighter that had set next to her. Musubi smiled up at Tsukiumi, "So Musubi must be the better wife!"

"YOU...!" Tsukiumi bared her teeth as her hair began to rise around her, fueled by an outburst of power. "KNOW YOUR PLACE! I'M MINATO'S LEGAL AND ONLY WIFE!"

In response, Musubi sprung up and let out a breath of frustration, clenching her fists. Behind her faintly stood a projection of a scowling bear that was comically posed in exactly the same way as the woman, "MUSUBI IS A WIFE TOO!"

Homura rolled his eyes as he watched the bickering continue. The one time both Miya and Sahashi had to be out he had to be home. Well, he supposed, there had to be at least one sane, relatively normal person in the house or Armageddon would most likely begin inside it. Hell, it was starting to happen with Kazehana's one stupid question.

Still, as long as he came in time to stop the chaos, he didn't need to stay and observe the decent into it. So he got up, most likely to nap for a bit, but was stopped by two quick tugs on his sleeve. Homura looked down in curiosity at the little girl standing next to him.

"...? What's up Ku-chan?" He asked.

"Can I ask you a question Kagari-chan?"

Kagari crouched down to her eye level and smiled, "Yeah, anything." Kusano didn't speak with him that often, so he was quite a bit surprised at her initiation of the conversation.

"Well, actually, Ku doesn't get what Fuu-chan* was asking before." The child continued to speak, unaware of the color that was slowly draining out of Homura's face, "What does she mean who has the best play? Don't we all play together with Onii-chan?"

"Well, uh, you... you see..." Homura fumbled to find the right -rather, appropriate- words to say, "No? No, I mean... yes we do, we all play with Onii-chan -I mean Sahashi- but-"

"Oh really?" Kazehana aimed a devilish smirk at the stuttering man, "I haven't gotten to play with Minato-kun yet~"

A creepy smile formed on Matsu's face as she caught on, "Homura-tan..." She licked her lips, "Matsu hasn't played with Mina-tan either... Is it possible..." A wink and thumbs up was suddenly sent in the Fire Sekirei's direction, "THAT YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE THAT HAS? WAY TO GO! DID ANYTHING HAPPEN? DID YOU RECORD IT? WAS HOMURA-TAN THE SEME OR THE UK-"

~poof~

"I DON'T HAVE THAT KIND OF RELATIONSHIP WITH SAHASHI! STOP TWISTING MY DAMN WORDS YOU DAMN MANIACS!" Homura growled/screamed at Kazehana and a now ashen Matsu.

It was at this point when Tsukiumi decided to contribute, courtesy of selective hearing, "HOMURA! YOU AND MINATO HAVE STARTED THAT KIND OF RELATIONSHIP?"

The Fire Sekirei swore vehemently and was about to turn his wrath over to her when out of the corner of his eye he saw Ku flinch and the flowerpot in her hand begin to stir.

…

Homura took a deep, deep breath.

He tucked away the slew of curses, witty metaphors and vivid insults to meet eyes with the scared girl, "Sorry for yelling Ku-chan. It's just sometimes those two can really make me crazy."

Homura watched as her face relaxed after a couple of seconds, "You know, Miya-chan says the same thing sometimes. In her sleep. When she's having nightmares." Kazehana and Matu's initial chuckles faded quickly as Ku continued, "Then she talks about "Going Disciplinary Squad" on "Hentai-Glasses" and "Public Obscenity"'s butts. Well, not butts, she uses the other word... you know..."

So for all of his efforts, Homura won a innocent smile. Some amusing information. And more damned questions, "Anyway, what's Fuu-chan talking about Kagari-chan? And what's a seme? And a uk?"

"...corruption of the youth..." He murmured, shaking his head. Homura then turned his indignation toward the culprit of the conversation, "And what are you talking about Kazehana? Why do we need to discuss this nonsense? And why bring it up now?"

"Well, to be frank, I'm talking about our chances with Minato; and now would be a good time to talk about them. He's going to be at prep school for a couple of hours, and Miya heard about a big produce sale in the neighboring town, so she likely won't get back until late."

"What do our powers have to do with anything?" Tsukiumi inquired, more curious than angry now.

"Well you know..." Kazehana took a sip from the tall bottle in her hand and continued, "Look, remember, ehhh... Kultz-chan?" Kazehana smiled and snapped her fingers proudly, "Ah no, Kuno right? Number 95, Kuno!"

Musubi tilted her head to the side in confusion, "Why are we talking about Kuno-San?"

"That's becauuuse~ Well you know how her power was pretty much crying right? Well because of that she had a whole sort of useless, damsel in distress kind of thing going on. Like a princess scenario. And then her knight appeared, that cute little Haruka-kun, and eventually the two of them faced their 'dragon', and eloped into a new land."

Homura wholeheartedly wanted to ask the woman why she was able to remember the name of the boy so well and forget the girl, but he knew better; regret would follow soon after he received the answer.

"So Ku's power will make it so Onii-chan will like her?"

"Haii~ That's correct." Kazehana raised her bottle in salute to the girl, "Well, it's just a passing thought. What kind of doki-doki, lovey-dovey situations can be brought about by our powers? It's a fun idea to think about nonetheless..."

Homura let out an uncharacteristic snort, "So stupid..." However, the rest of the Sekirei were pondering the idea. How could they use their powers to their advantage?

"Aww Homura-tan don't say that. It seems kind of interesting." Matsu pushed up her glasses and chuckled, "For example, for you it would definitely be-"

"If you say 'flame play', I will maul you. Seriously."

Matsu's face fell and she put down her magically-procured, low-heat candle, pouting.

"No, for Kagari I actually imagined something else. A little outside the box."

"You already have this all thought out?"

"Yes indeed, sort of, a bit... Huu huu~ Kazehana paused and her eyes roved over the tense Kagari, "Sure you want to hear this? My rough draft?"

No, but Homura could detect a challenge when he heard one. A stupid challenge to be sure, but he'd feel slightly grumpy if he yielded to a drunk's imaginary fantasies. So with a sigh of resignation, he sat down. He'd bite the bullet.

"Wonderful~ Well for Kagari it...would...be..."

And tune in next time to find out~

*Fuu-chan is Ku's nickname for Kazehana.

I'd appreciate any reviews you'd like to give fellow readers/writers.

:)