Pushed Beyond the Limit

By: Maranni123

Chapter One

Disclaimer: PLEASE READ! Hello my readers and reviewers. If you were wondering where I've been for the past gazillion months, the answer would be here: Editing. A short story, if you will. This November is NaNoWriMo. And as I was wonder what story to work on this year, I realized that NaNoWriMo is exactly what I need to get Pushed Beyond the Limit edited and finished. :D

So here it is! Edited and finished for your reading pleasure! An update every day or two in order to reach my word goal of 50,000! And while I will still be writing an original story for NaNoWriMo, I'll also be finishing PBTL. This, I swear! So please, enjoy the edits and the fixes, as well as the story. There will be changes, some small and some big. The original "PBTL" got a little bit out of hand, so I'm reeling back the characters and the plots. So... yeah. Enjoy! :D I'll never own Star Trek. Ever.

Beta: The wonderful T'Key'la helped me with this long ago. :)

(xXxXxXx)

It took a long time for anyone to really notice anything amiss with their captain. That they noticed anything at all was a miracle in itself. The crew of the Enterprise had known their new captain for a total of seven months, three days, and twenty-eight minutes, according to Commander Spock. Although Captain James T. Kirk was an open guy, they still didn't know much about him, save for the ship's CMO, Dr. McCoy, who'd became Jim's new best friend the moment the two had met on the shuttle to the Academy. However, even the good doctor failed to notice anything amiss about Jim or his behavior, which was yet another miracle.

It was month seven of the Enterprise's five-year long mission. To explore worlds unknown and to make peaceful ties with the many races they were bound to meet. The crew had just survived a not-exactly-peaceful encounter with the inhabitants of the planet Mizor VI, a planet that had been known only for its famous entertainment, similar to the ancient Earth Romans, and they had learned the hard way that the inhabitants of Mizor VI didn't really like having anyone from Starfleet on their planet. When Jim had voiced this to McCoy, the CMO had simply rolled his eyes.

"Yes Jim, they didn't like us," McCoy had said sarcastically. "How did you guess that? The spears they threw at us or the poison they slipped you at the dinner they planned?"

Nevertheless, with McCoy's sarcasm aside, the crew had been through a lot. Even Spock seemed a little tired out, which said something. So when Jim took his place in the captain's chair with black bags under his eyes the day after their lucky escape from Mizor VI, most likely from lack of sleep, no one really thought twice about it. Jim was the youngest captain in Starfleet history. And to top it off, they'd just come back from a stressful mission. He was probably just stressed out the piles and piles of paper work that he no doubt had to deal with it.

Then there was the day after that, when Jim had been ten minutes late for shift. Well, that had probably been just a simple mistake. Jim had laughed it off when Spock had asked him why he was late and had told everyone that he'd been lost in his paper work. And that was the end of that. A simple explanation for a simple question.

The crew saw nothing extremely out of the ordinary. The bags under his eyes, the way Jim seemed to stare out into space as they were traveling, the way he would sometimes be caught staring at someone for long periods of time. All of these were brushed off with simple explanations and were completely legitimate as far as the crew was concerned.

So what if Jim didn't hit on Uhura anymore or if he started to distance himself from his crew? So what if he seemed to always be busy whenever Spock would invite him for a game of chess or if he skipped out on a few meals here and there? It only meant that their captain was becoming more mature and had little time for anything other than work.

Besides, it wasn't like Jim never acting like his old self. He still made visits to Sick Bay solely to annoy McCoy, he still took most of his meals with the main crew in the mess hall, and he still participated in the bi-weekly poker game that Scotty held down in the engines. Jim was still Jim. Only the crew was starting to see more and more of Captain Kirk and less and less of Jim.

The crew thought little of it though. They had their own work to focus on. It was quite an impressive feat to become bored on a starship, so everyone always had something to do. It was only after a few weeks had passed since that last stressful away mission did the crew finally start to see that something was wrong with their captain.

"Captain? Captain Kirk? Did you hear me?"

It took him a moment, but eventually Jim looked up from the patch of floor he'd been staring at and gave Uhura a small smile, one that didn't fully reach his eyes. "I'm sorry Lieutenant?" he asked softly. "I'm afraid I wasn't listening. What did you say?"

Uhura fought the urge to bite her lip in worry from her station. It was no secret aboard the Enterprise that the beautiful Communication's Officer held a respectful work relationship only with her Captain. They didn't speak much outside the bridge, although Jim was constantly trying to get her to open up to him.

If Uhura were to be honest, she was still a bit miffed about Jim hitting on her at that bar and how he treated Spock after his mother had died. But she was still concerned for him. She would be heartless otherwise and he was acting weird, like he wasn't even there.

"Sir, we're receiving a message from Starfleet Command from Admiral Pike," she said, her dark eyes locked onto the tired baby blues of her captain.

Jim was silent, causing both Chekov and Sulu to glance over to him from their own positions at the helm, worry printed clearly on their faces. A call from Pike was usually a good thing for their captain. Pike was like the father Jim never had and held great respect and fondness for the man. Now, Jim looked as if he didn't care if Pike wanted to chat or not.

Uhura was silent for a moment as well, before she spoke again. "Shall I patch it through, Captain?" she asked.

Jim blinked, as if coming out of a dream, and then nodded, his face still oddly blank and void of emotions. It would give any Vulcan a run for their money "Yes," he answered quietly. "Patch it through Lieutenant."

Uhura nodded, and then turned back to her station while Chekov and Sulu exchanged worried glances. Jim was acting so weird. Even Spock snuck a look over to Jim out of the corner of his eye, concern growing in his side. True, he and Jim had started out badly, with both parties regretting their actions towards each other before and during the Nero incident, Jim probably more so than Spock.

However, to everyone's surprise, after discovering that they would be spending the next five years together as Captain and Commander, Spock and Jim had quickly put aside their bad beginning and had started anew. They had become friends, mostly thanks to chess and the fact that having the two commanding officers at each other's throats was bad for crew morale, but friends none-the-less. They were close and Spock knew that Jim considered him to be one of his "bestest friend", along with the doctor.

Spock allowed the smallest of frowns to grace his features as his train of thought wandered further. Now that he truly thought about it, he couldn't remember the last time he and the Captain had played chess. The once nearly night time ritual was now nearly non-existent. Every time Spock had offered, Jim had been forced to decline thanks to his duties and the never-ending piles of paper work that followed Jim wherever he went.

Of course, Spock had understood. Being in charge of four hundred plus more crew members, along with their activities and general well-being, was a very demanding job and it was no surprise that the Captain had little time for chess. Still, he was worried, in his own Vulcan way.

However, before he could continue his line of though, the video feed came through, showing Admiral Pike's friendly face and Spock immediately slipped back into First Officer mode, making a mental note to question the Captain later on his odd behavior.

Jim, who was trying to look more awake than he actually was, gave Pike a respectful nod. "Admiral Pike," he said, his tone formal and cool. "It is good to see you again sir."

Pike smiled, although it was clear to everyone that he seemed taken aback by Jim's formal greeting. "Captain Kirk," Pike said with fondness clear in his voice. "It's been too long! How is the Enterprise and her captain?"

Jim smiled softly at the screen, though his heart wasn't in it.

"The Enterprise is going well, as is her crew sir," he reported, still so formal and cold. "We hit a snag with the people of Mizor VI and were forced to return to the ship, as you no doubt read in my report. Despite that however, things have been fine. And you, Admiral?"

Pike held his smile in place, but the surprise in his eyes was clear to everyone. Jim was rarely so formal with the Admirals who hated him. Jim always made it very clear to everyone that he got a near sick pleasure out of riling the "old bastards" up, but he was never this formal to Pike, of all people.

"I'm doing fine as well," the Admiral answered, albeit a bit more slowly than before. "Although I must admit that being an Admiral isn't as exciting as being a Captain."

Jim nodded, his eyes still oddly void of emotions. "I'm sure you have many duties Admiral," he said softly. "Is there something I can do for you today, sir?"

Pike nodded slowly, frowning softly as the surprise turned to concern. "Yes. Captain Kirk," he said just as softly. "You've been assigned to escort the Ambassador Selek of New Vulcan to Starfleet Headquarters, effective immediately."

Everyone waited for Jim to ask why they were bringing the Ambassador of New Vulcan to Starfleet Headquarters, waited for Jim's usual curiosity, but Jim simply nodded again. "Yes sir," he said obediently. "We will change our course for New Vulcan immediately. Mr. Sulu?"

Sulu nodded, though he sighed softly as he punched in the coordinates for New Vulcan. What was wrong with the Captain? Pike seemed to be completely surprised. His expression would have been comical if the majority of the crew wasn't as worried as they were. A second passed with an uncomfortably silence before Pike spoke again.

"Captain," he began slowly. "Is everything…alright? You seem…distracted today."

Jim frowned softly, and then looked down at the floor. Silence filled the bridge for another seemingly long moment, before Jim let out a sigh and looked back up to Pike. A weary smile was on his face, but it was a real smile this time.

"Sorry Pike. I'm just a bit tired," Jim said as he leaned closer to the screen, his posture shifting to a more relaxed position. "Just don't tell Bones though, okay? That man is looking for any excuse to hypo me in the neck these days and sleep deprivation isn't a good enough excuse for him to stab me."

Pike let out a relieved laugh, the tension in the entire bridge slowly ebbed away as the captain began to act like his normal self. "Come now Captain," Pike joked. "I'm sure your CMO is doing a fine job of keeping you and your crew healthy."

Jim's smile grew and he leaned back into his chair. "Yeah," he said fondly Bones is awesome like that." He sighed and stretched out his arms as he asked, "So, what's going on at Starfleet that calls for Ambassador Selek? Something top secret that you're going to tell me despite regulations because I'm awesome like that?"

Pike's smile returned and the crew of the Enterprise relaxed a bit. Their Captain was back. "Well, that's classified Captain," Pike said with a smirk. "Classified to all awesome and non-awesome captains alike."

Jim stuck his tongue out at the screen. "No fair," he pouted childishly. "I bet you could tell me but you just don't want to."

Pike gave Jim a wink and nodded. "Good luck on your mission Captain," he said. "I've transferred the finer details to your quarters."

Jim nodded as well and flashed Pike a smile. "Captain Awesome Kirk out." Pike simply rolled his eyes affectionately before the video feed was disconnected.

The only things on the screen now were the stars in front of the Enterprise. Jim took in a breath and allowed it to whoosh out before he looked up and around the bridge, giving his crew a small smile. "My apologize guys," he said softly. "I didn't mean to weird you out or anything back there. You know, with the whole staring-into-space thing."

Chekov gave his Captain a bright, relieved smile while Sulu shook his head, a small smile on his lips. "No need to be apologizing Keptain," Chekov said happily. "We understand."

Spock raised his eyebrow in his classical Spock fashion. "Ensign Chekov is correct Captain. Apologizes are not required," he added blandly. "Although I would strongly suggest that you visit Dr. McCoy if you're experiencing sleeping issues, despite your earlier apprehension concerning the doctor's fondness of the hypospray."

Jim nodded softly, giving Spock a small smile, although he avoided his First Officer gaze. "Yes, Mr. Spock," he sighed, standing up from his chair. "I think you might be right."

The half-Vulcan showed no outer signs of his ever growing concern as Jim made his way to the turbo lift, ever in control of his emotions. However, the fact that Jim had not commented on Spock's statement and was willingly going to Sick Bay for a medical reason was cause enough to be alarmed. Normally it was a battle getting Jim to his monthly physicals. Perhaps he was, indeed, ill?

Jim noticed Spock watching him and offered the half-Vulcan a small smile and a swift," You have the bridge Mr. Spock.", before the door slid shut.

Once inside the turbo lift, alone, Jim felt his smile slowly slip from his face. He looked down sadly at his feet as the turbo lift started up for Sick Bay and closed his eyes.

'I'm okay,' he thought. 'I'm fine. I'm James T. Kirk, I can handle anything. I'm…' Jim shivered, his hands creeping up to grasp at the sides of his head, the floor beneath him starting to spin as that now familiar feeling began to creep up onto him. 'No... I'm okay. I swear... I...'

'…Judging from my observations, Captain, you're rapidly losing the power of decision… his negative side… lust…and his positive side… compassion… love…'

Letting out a breath, Jim tried to get a hold on himself as his vision blurred for a moment before settling once again. Spock had said that to him and McCoy, in Sick Bay. Jim could remember it, even if the memory was a bit fuzzy.

'But…that never happened,' Jim thought. 'Spock…we've only been friends for a short time…and he looked…older…'

Jim let out a small moan as his head started to pound, bright visions flashing before his eyes. Or rather…he heard them. Flashes of colors, forms, and shapes flashed before him, but he couldn't really make out what they were, only managing to recognize a few key differences. The sounds, however, were more persistent, more recognizable.

'…Captain…are you alright?'

Jim moaned again, the turbo lift doors opening to let him stubble out into the hall. That voice…it was Spock, Jim was sure of it. But he sounded…worried. Almost fearful. A loud roar replaced Spock's voice, the roar sounded like a cave-in or a rock slide. Dust was in the air and Jim coughed, stumbling through the hall, his legs automatically trying to lead him to Sick Bay. Perhaps on a subconscious level, he knew he needed help.

'...Jim? ...Jim?'

Jim frowned, his eyelids fluttering as he finally managed to reach Sick Bay, his hands clinging to the walls to prevent him from falling flat on his face. 'Spock…would never call me Jim…never show emotion…'

"I'm alright Spock," he mumbled as he approached the Sick Bay door. "I'm okay. Don't be afraid for me. We have... to focus on the mission... Spock..."

Jim raised a hand and pushed on the Sick Bay's door, as if he'd forgotten that they slid open. Stumbling into Sick Bay, he let out a sad laugh as he fell onto the floor, McCoy's surprised yell barely reaching him.

"Bones...," Jim moaned. "I don't feel good…"

Then, Captain James T. Kirk passed out and fell into darkness, his only companion being the strange and painful visions that haunted him, day and night.

(xXxXxXx)

A/N: And that is the end of the edited version of chapter one of Pushed Beyond the Limit. :D Hope you enjoyed it as much as you did the first time. :D Good night.