I don't own Inuyasha Rumiko Takahashi, and VIZ Media do. Rated R raw humor, language some OOC, Lime

Halloween day has come again Sesshoumar, and Inuyasha are engaged in their pre-Halloween practical joke war and depravity has no limits. Inuyasha and Jaken also have their own little war going. Pesky nagging foxes get a Halloween surprise Inuyasha style they'll never forget. Written for Halloween 2011. Happy Halloween everybody. Updated extended Oct 2018 Sessh/Kag

Happy Freakin Halloween

By Raven 2010 Oct 9 2011

Serving it up raw

"Ya mangy striped butt licker," Inuyasha wisecracked "What did store bought chocolate go out of style?

"Good coming from you with set on high suction vacuum cleaner mouth sausage sucker," Sesshoumaru replied "What happened did the beavers clamp their hairy little lips shut denying you entry? Sad really because your tongue is you're only asset and talent" what happened did tiny Yasha die from non use? Hang on lil bro I'll dig a grave out back for him"

"Oh that is the kill shot there," Kouga said to Sugimi

"Beavers, hairy lips, only asset and talent, Vaccum on high suction mouth, dig grave, oh mama my stomach I'm dying," the laughing dog demon replied

"Whoa Sessh is slicing and serving it up raw," Kagura whispered

"Termite eaten tree stump chump" Inuyasha shot back

"Log stroker, oops sorry my bad it's not a log and you can't stroke a splinter," Sesshoumaru retorted "Chafing from your futile attempts are you? Tweezers weren't meant for whacking off fool guess that means a vacuum cleaner hose BJ is out poor baby,"

"Cough, shit," Sugimi exclaimed "Vacuum cleaner hose blow job ouch,"

"Spoken like a true stroking his toothpick oops my bad forgot trying to find his less than half a splinter needle" why don't you just give it a mercy killing lop it off then use your fingers in the hole like girls do? Stroke the kitty" Inuyasha jabbed "Little brother do not fault me or be jealous because my log is longer way stronger and meatier than yours" Sasshoumaru shot back "You could always get a transplant." "Hah you wish, Carlton comes to quick damn ya couldn't even last five seconds, poor girls are getting cheated," the hanyou smirked "I'd let ya borrow mine but he'd be way too much for you to handle Randle vroom, vroom,"

"Hm if you can call not releasing the hostages until the female has had at least an hour or more rounds of pleasure with multiple eruptions fast than I am indeed proudly guilty of that crime Donny dead rod don't come at all because he never got started in the first place," Sesshoumaru needled "Which is why you are widely known as frosty frigid no hanky panky Franky,"

"Uh oh they're playing the letters game," Kagome exclaimed

"The letters gam," Sango asked

"Yes as youngest pup did Carlton comes to quick two C's, and eldest used Donny dead rod don't come at all three D's, frosty frigid no hanky panky Franky three F's,"

"Well this is new on me but quite humorous," Miroku added in his smooth dignified tone

"Hm" Sesshoumaru responded

"That's all ya got lord high and mighty his pants are to tighty? Ah you weak wimpy wench,"

'Five, four, thre," Kagura didn't get to finish

Without another word Sesshoumaru had Inuyasha inside a giant carved with a scary face Halloween pumpkin near the front door. He was dressed in a bright orange bikini, than his feet cement glued to the bottom of it the pumpkin, and holding a lit in glass candle in his hand that was also glued as well. The seething hanyou merely growled while Sesshoumaru stood watching and smiling evilly

"I know it's early but let me be the first to wish you a happy freaking Halloween little brother," Sesshoumaru taunted "Say cheese and smile pretty." he said then took pictures

"Sesshoumaru I will get you for this if it is the last thing I do,"

"Oh dear lord at it already Halloween war starts now," Sugimi commented

"Father would you have it and us any other way? Sesshoumaru calmly and innocently answered

"Pop your only gonna have one puppy to worry about when I get the hell out of this damn forsaken thing," Inuyasha said

"You know eldest pup there is an upside to all of this" Sugimi said

"And that would be? Sesshoumaru asked

"Now we can make pumpkin inu pies oh it has been far too many years since I've wrapped my lips around one,"

"Pumpkin inu pies? I do not believe this shit first homely Harriet traps me, then my own rat fink father wants to make fuckin pies outta me" Inuyasha barked

"Sounds yummy I will do the grinding, and you get the pie shells ready," Sesshoumaru said struggling to keep a straight face "Oh my mouth is watering just thinking about, you are right father it has been too many years,"

"I'm on it right now," Sugimi replied, "Oh a baking we will go, a baking we will go we're gonna have homemade juicy pie yummy, yummy in my tummy," thrilling at his pups distress

"Oh yes mustn't forget the whipped cream," Sesshoumaru started flexing his claws "Do not forget the eggs, sugar, milk and spices you know how I detest flavorless pastries."

"Eeeeeeek, you wouldn't do it" wouldn't you? Inuyasha nervously asked "Friggin cannibals,"

"What do you think? Was Sesshoumaru's cool reply "Hanyou meat is above all others delicious, slurp,"

"Asshooooole" Inuyasha bellowed "Nooooooooo, let me live and I promise I will be a good and pure hanyou for life" he tried conning

"Yes hanyou? My mouth is watering just imagining it," his elder sibling taunted Inuyasha gasped in horror, then Sesshoumaru blew a sleeping powder in his face "Nighty night little brother,"

Inuyasha woke up still groggy he rubbed his heavily lidded eyes, once his senses were fully alert he looked, his eyes went wide with horror when he saw he was inside a huge crust covered pie with only his head sticking out seeing smiling wickedly Sugimi, and Sesshoumaru staring at him. Fright took over now he really believed and knew for sure without a doubt that they really were going to eat him and worse of all his human companions would probably help them do it that thought made his heart sink

"Ah my son the oven is heated and ready," Sugimi said "Okay father let's slide the pie in" Sesshoumaru said "Oh I can hardly wait,"

"Hey guys I'll get some ice cream," Kagura was as bad as they were

"You two fuckers oh no you don't," Inuyasha yelled, broke through the pie, leaped and ran shrieking "Sons of bitches dumb ass mutts," he cursed

"I am deeply wounded," Sesshoumaru feigned hurt

Sugimi, and Sesshoumaru were laughing so hard they had to lean against one another to keep from falling over "He, he really be, believed it," Sugimi got out

"Well in all fairness gentlemen you are very convincing even I momentarily forgot and believed,"Miroku chimed in

"Awww poor puppy," Kagura said

"Oh gods my stomach, he is s so easy," Sesshoumaru managed to say "Se, Sesshy die now hahahahaha,"

"Aw does our doggy need a tummy rub? Kagome teased making everyone laugh even harder

Out of the closet, a boney new love, Inuyasha's twisted revenge, spin cycle

Sesshoumaru had a plan and patiently waited for Inuyasha to pass by a closet as he did with his powers he made the door burst open, and a skeleton popped out "Ahhhhhhh" what the hell?

Casually "You screamed little brother? Sesshoumaru asked

Inuyasha was about to speak when the skeletons boney hand reached out and stroked his butt then gave it a gentle squeeze "Eeek" what the fuck? This thing's possessed. Get off me ya perv"

"I believe getting you off is what it is trying to accomplish as long as it is a female I see that you have nothing to worry about dear brother," Sesshoumaru teased "So relax and enjoy the ride,"

"What the hell do you mean as long as it's female? You sicko, if I find out it's a boy I will rip your fucking prick off, you pansy" why don't you let it stroke and choke you're wee willy? everyone knows you need it"

"Just as I said" have you gone deaf in your old age? Sit back, relax, and enjoy, from what I see it is very good at and takes it's time with foreplay"

"Sesshoumaru you suck you cheap man whor," Inuyasha never got to finish

"What I suck or do not suck you will never know," Simultaneously the skeletons arms went around Inuyasha's neck, and legs around his waist, it moved in a humping motion, while it's teeth nipped his neck "Get a room," Sesshoumaru wisecracked

"Let go get off ya loony bag of doup bones,"

"Perverts, you care not who witnesses your vulgar pubic I mean public display," Sesshoumaru taunted "Disgusting."

"Asshole bone brain this fucking thing attacked me, you could at least help," silence "Daaaaaaaaad" nothing "Dad Sesshoumaru sent a skeleton to rape me help, rape,"

"No glove no love," Sugimi yelled back "Don't forget the lube a dry tube is most painful for the female,"

Sesshoumaru applauded "Well at least have the decency to use a condom. We would not want any bone inu pups running around" now would we? Sesshoumaru ragged fighting to keep a straight face "Little brother has a boner for his bone lover, damn and here I thought you liked some meat on the bones,"

"Then why don't you take the bitch and throw a good one into her? What the hell you're both already cold and dead. Hell make it your mate no live female wants a corpse,"

"No she is your woman and I would never come between you. I will never be guilty of destroying true love," Sesshoumaru teased "Kiss and mark your mate dear brother,"

"Bullshit" Inuyasha bit, he was already scheming a dirty trick of his own "If we looked up the definition of full of shit in the dictionary your picture would be right next to it, with crap running out of your ears,"

"Wow that constipation has really got you all uptight, that is what you get for wearing a thong hool thongs are for girls" then a thought hit him "Hold on I'll be right back with the vacuum high suction will work fast,"

"High suction WHAAAT? Inuyasha finally managed to get the skeleton off of him, then threw it at Sesshoumaru "Here's your boney bitch, you take care of her. Happy humping," Inuyasha wisecracked then left "And if ya can't use your own rent one," he yelled back

"Sesshoumaru my son I swear you become sicker and more depraved with age." Sugimi said

"Be that as it may little brother is just too much fun to torture."

By yearly Invitation Kagome, Sango, Kagura, and the gang arrived that same day to spend Halloween week at the Taisho estate. That night every one bedded down for the night, and Inuyasha put his wicked plan into action, Sesshoumaru was in a deep relaxing peaceful sleep. He began to dream she lay behind him her hand slipped down to his crotch then between his thighs and started massaging his male jewels

Sesshoumaru nearly came. Ready for some late night loving Sesshoumaru turned to face her, in the dark room he could not see her face, he kissed her passionately, both already naked nothing stood in his way. Still lying on his side Sesshoumaru put her leg over his hip, moved his hips forward, then slipped in and moved she was like silk on his hot skin. He was about to climax when he awoke and found he was on his side face to face with a skeleton one leg over his hip pumping back and forth

"Inuyasha Sakura Taisho I am going to kill you." Sesshoumaru screamed waking all within the house "You little tramp,"

"And the fun begins," Sugimi said "I knew youngest pup was going to do something rotten to eldest pup,"

"As if Frostymaru" tell me was she everything you dreamed of? Bet she made you harder then you've ever been" hah? Inuyasha taunted "Ouch hurts so good like you knew it would" did you remember to lube up first?

"Mutt face always was a sick bastard," Kouga said to Miroku "This just proves it,"

"You know it looks like we're going to get better entertainment this Halloween," Miroku replied

"Well here we go girls let's go watch." Kagome said

"Yes" Ayame, Sango, and Kagura agreed

Then an evil thought crossed Sesshoumaru's devious mind "I will see you in the morning,"

"Aw big bro got a woody" got to go play stroke the lizard? Inuyasha wisecracked "Don't forget the love lotion wouldn't want to chafe while loving your log"

"I am too tired right now to care," Sesshoumaru replied

"Aw come on Sessh" what no revenge no chase rampage blood carnage and trying to kill me. What are you getting old? You're such a buzz kill"

"I have already told you I will not repeat myself, goodnight fool," Sesshoumaru answered

"Oh fuck it, fine kill joy go to bed stroke the lizard or whatever the hell you're going to do,"

Cocky and gloating over a false victory Inuyasha went into the kitchen to raid the fridge, he took out what he wanted, poured himself a nice glass of ice cold milk, then made a big rare roast beef sandwich. He sat down and was about to bite into it, then and at the same time he suddenly felt the sandwich leave his hand, and himself being lifted out of the chair, and soon found himself spinning in a circle it dawned on him he was inside the washing machine in the wash cycle. It was a front loader so it had a glass door,

Ass he looked out through the glass he saw smiling evilly Sesshoumaru looking at him watching in horror while his brother ate his beloved roast beef sandwich, and drinking his milk. Beef was Inuyasha's favorite meat and Sesshoumaru's as well, Inuyasha gave him the finger. Sesshoumaru's response was dropping his pants and mooning Inuyasha with his bare butt. Sugimi entered the kitchen with the others right behind him, Sugimi's eyes widened then with one hand on the table for balance he bent over and nearly died laughing

"I guess now we can call him Spinyasha," Miroku joked

"Aw look he's reliving his puppyhood how adorable," 'Whoa nice ass I would love to give it a bite' Kagome thought, catching a glimpse while Sesshoumaru pulled his pants up

Then Inuyasha started to change he looked dizzy and drunk, the cycle ended Sugimi opened the door, then bright neon lemon yellow Inuyasha stepped out on wobbly legs, and glazed unfocused eyes looked on. Then it hit their noses an overpowering sickening sweet scent, Sesshoumaru had put his own special concoction in the washing machine dye with extra sweet demon perfume and Inuyasha was drunk as a skunk from it

"Hey pop" how's it hanging? Or is it hiding? Hehehe" Inuyasha teased something he'd never ask when sober

"Son you are drunk," Sugimi said "Wheely? Maybe just a wittle bit, I don't know" Inuyasha replied "Wha-what do you think? Hey pop do I have a snake or a beaver? He asked looking at his crotch

"I know and you are," Sugimi replied, to drive Inuyasha nuts "And I am male what do you think? But as a matter of fact you have both,"

Inuyasha looked "Whaaat? I'm a boy I ain't got no stinkin beaver, but I wuv stroking and smoking em if you get my meaning"

"Aw don't worry even though you are a she male we still love you anyway," wise ass Kagura teased

"But I can't have both I wike dirls," Inuyasha replied

"Yes you like girls this we know," Sugimi replied

"Well you can and you do dog breath," Kouga ragged

"Shut up Kogiana," the hanyou retorted "Hey pop I'm yellow" hah? Now I'm an inu lemon, hehehe," Inuyasha said "Hey dat means like candy I is an all day sucker" get it all day sucker, suck? Nudging his father with one elbow and winking

"Little brother you are a drunken perverted sot," Sesshoumaru said

"Hey I remember you, you stole and ate my samich, I mean sandwich, and drank my milk to. That's a na-naughty thing to do, I'm gonna tell dad," Inuyasha stammered "Hey dad did you know fwuffy has a stash of reefer in his room under his mattress? Shhh don't tell him I bold you he'll tick my ass, otay"

"No one likes a tattle tale," Sesshoumaru replied "And I did you a favor you could stand to lose a few pounds,"

"Hey I I'm not fat stupid head,"

"Alright my drunken pup to bed you go," Sugimi said, put Inuyasha over his shoulder, and carried him up to his room

"Weeeee, Daddy's giving Yasha ride, Yay Yasha like ride you da bestest dog papa in da whole world,"

Sugimi came back "Sesshoumaru why did you do that to your brother?

"I was bored," he teased then told him

"Whoa now that was really nasty," Kagura commented "And you men call females vicious you think so much like one it's scary,"

"Shit I don't blame you, he got off easy, and if he did that to me I'd kill him," Kouga said "Never mess with a guy's sexual business,"

"Not me I'd let him live and cement girls clothes onto him," Ayame told them

"Yeah sis don't forget the nail polish and make up," Sango added

"Yikes females so deadly," Mirroku stated "Remind me to stay on your good side,"

"You said it brother," Kouga added

The next morning Inuyasha woke up looked at himself then "Sesshoumaruuuuu? Yellow, you dyed me fucking yellow. Eew and this sickening sweet stench"

Inuyasha ran down the stairs with murderous intent toward Sesshoumaru, and was greeted with "Hey sexy," Miroku teased "Want to take it for a test drive? Will you bear my puppies?

"Wow who's the hot blond? Wanna go out behind the shed and have a little fun baby? Kouga ragged

"Yeah I sure as hell wouldn't mind taking a run on that my damn self," Miroku teased"

"I ain't no blond you simple ass bastard, and kiss my ass you pervy bitches," Inuyasha bit

"Look at your hair,"Inuyasha did

"You son of a bitch lemon yellow hair,"

"What are you whining about? You're already for Halloween" Sesshoumaru needled "Plus you got a free makeover, I am a trained professional you know others pay me big bucks for my service,"

"I'll give you Halloween you wench just wait. You better sleep with one eye open simple Sally and I don't mean your brown eye either," Inuyasha threatened

"I'd shiver with fear if that promise came from a grown man and not a boy call me when you reach manhood let's say ten years from now," was Sesshoumaru's reply

"Ooo you stank ass stagnant pussy you," the hanyou fumed

"I'm not a pussy, but I do love them so," Sesshoumaru answered "Your too young now but in a few years you'll know the wonders and joys of the hairy little cave to,"

A new suit, foxes

Sesshoumaru woke up encased in a giant condom coated with silver glitter, the top tied closed with a big red bow around his neck. The demon lord was seething so much that he had not yet realized that the acid from his claws was seeping out melting his trap. And he did something completely uncharacteristic of him shocking all inside the Taisho house

"Inuyasha you little bastard when I get my claws on you, you will die," Sesshoumaru bellowed "Get out here now you cheap tramp,"

"Aw" is Sausagemaru upset? Does he need some cocaine laced sake? Want some reefer? That cures everything"

"Sausagemaru? The others all asked in the same breath "Uh oh,"

"What in the name of the gods have you done this time? Sugimi questioned

"Oh you'll see, just be patient" Inuyasha answered grinning like the cat that ate the canary "I gave him a free makeover, so I don't see what he is bitching about. Oh Sesshy baby move it" will you? I ain't getting any younger"

"And you will not be getting any older either," the elder snapped Next Sesshoumaru still mostly wrapped in the giant condom except for his hands and legs, eyes glowing blood red and growling came bounding down the stairs flexing his elongated claws "Ohhhhhh shit," the group exclaimed

"Red eyed Sesshy rest uh oh in pieces," the females said

"Start making funeral plans," Sesshoumaru snarled in a voice that did not sound like his "Feeling lucky little sister?

"Oh this is bad, really bad," Sugimi said

Sesshoumaru lunged, and Inuyasha ran "Aw Sausagemaru is all wrapped up tight so he'll stay nice and warm all through the night," Inuyasha taunted "Want some beans with that meat? You know sausage goes well with eggs pasta and so much more" "

Growl" Sesshoumaru responded

"Inuyasha quit showing off," Kagome said

"Hey mutt face die well and soon," Kouga joked

An hour later Transformed into a dog the size of a horse Sesshoumaru returned with Inuyasha dangling from the neck of and all that was left of his shirt in Sesshoumaru's fangs. He was curled in the fetal position naked as the day he was born with his hands clamped over his male treasure; Sesshoumaru had eaten his brother's clothes off with his acid, the gang could not hold back any longer and burst out laughing. In that moment Inuyasha thought for sure he'd die of embarrassment Smirking doggy Sesshoumaru

"Hehehe" laughed, then dropped Inuyasha on his ass "Woof, woof" then Sesshoumaru pushed him with his paw toward the others

"Damn mutt face go put some clothes on, shit I think I'm scarred for life," said Kouga

"Why did I have to have a brother? Dad you should'a kept it in your pants that night" Inuyasha said "Or buried it in the ground till the passion passed" couldn't you have just given it a hand job?

"I didn't the night you were made" why should I have the night your brother was created? Sugimi replied "Besides the sex is most excellent and I will never as you say use a hand job when I have a live willing female,"

"Yeah he will find out when he finally loses his virgin veil," Miroku razzed

"Screw you one and all. And I am not a virgin you whorish so called monk," Inuyasha shot back as he ran up the stairs with one hand on his butt, and the other on his male parts

"At least I'm getting pelt," Miroku shot back "Lots of pelt,"

"Yeah if rubber coochie counts," Inuyasha yelled back

Later on

Next Shippou's worst nightmare showed up "Inuyasha please hide me? Shippou pled

"What's your problem runt? Farmer after ya for stealing eggs out of the hen house again?

"No genius, remember those pesky foxes that stuck you to a rock hounded followed and drove me nuts?

"Yup, sure do," Inuyasha answered cracking his knuckles "Boy would I like a piece of them."

"They're out there,"

"Is that so? Hehehe sweet" Inuyasha replied cracking his knuckles again with a sick grin "Shippou for this I owe you one. Man I'm gonna enjoy the hell outta this,"

"Uh oh," Sango, Kagome, and Kagura exclaimed

"Free show folks," Ayame said

Sure enough the doorbell rang, Inuyasha answered it "What do you squirts want?

"Master Shippou," the foxes replied

"What for? And if I do decide to let you in you gotta pay a toll to enter here fifty bucks each"

"It's fox business dog," the head one wisecracked "And master Shippou will never allow you to do such a thing,"

"Uh oh here it comes," Sugimi whispered to the others "They have no idea how sick he is."

"Ah ha," was their reply

"Really ya rabid runts last time I checked I live here this is my house not a fox den. The Taisho family home and I am a Taisho," Inuyasha wisecracked "Got that you mangy drowned rats?"

"We want Shippou now," they demanded "Go and fetch him"

"Fetch him oh really? Inuyasha replied "Now you think to order me like some lackey,"

"See you in the afterlife," Shippou said 'hehehe dumb asses' he thought

"Master Shipp," the foxes started to call but never got to finish

Before they could draw their next breath they had big pink bows tied around their necks, and found themselves in cages on display "There ya go boys, and there you will stay on display for all to see till after Halloween night ends. Hehehe," Inuyasha informed them "Nooooo" they screeched "Yeeeees" Inuyasha taunted "Aw so pretty, I just wanna hug and squeeze you but won't,"

"Dirty dog," they whined

"Duh you just now figured that out, took ya long enough ya rabid little rats," Inuyasha replied

"Whhhhhy?

"Remember all those years ago you don't really think I forgot about the rock did ya? The grinning hanyou reminded

"Gulp"

"Thought that'd jog your memory,"

"Father he has inherited your deranged humor gene," Sesshoumaru said "Heaven help the world,"

"And you did as well my son," Sugimi replied

"Yes an unavoidable Taisho family trait," Sesshoumaru stated

"It is times like this that I am such a proud father. Your daddy's two little devils," Sugimi answered

Jaken's fireworks, trick or treat, Halloween surprise

The next day "Oh god's what the fuck? Oh I think my nuts are cracked" Inuyasha screamed after sitting down "Boys are you okay? Speak to me" he said while looking down inside his pants "Why me? Somebody's going to die"

"I am lord Sesshoumaru's faithful servant he will not stand for this," Jaken bit

"More like his faithful ugly green door mat," Inuyasha shot back "And remember tadpole you started this shit not me,"

"Mangy filthy dog," "Well ass wad you're the little bastard who rigged a shower head in my bathroom toilet to spray my privates with freezing cold water the minute I sat down" aren't you? Inuyasha replied I should kill you for that alone. Never hit a fellow male below the belt even Sesshoumaru will tell you the same,"

"At least I did not rig your bed to grip you with locking steel bands around your entire body the second you awoke,"

"Ah shut up" what are you bitching about? Like Hallmark it says I care enough to send the very best" Inuyasha ragged

"I will get you for this," Jaken promised

"Yeah, yeah whatever keep dreaming soggy froggy," S

esshoumaru's faithful retainer decided to have some fun, and get revenge so he put something on Inuyasha's chair and patiently waited for his poor victim to come and sit down. It was now lunch time all seated themselves at the dining room table except Inuyasha who was the last to arrive, he came and took his seat the second he did fireworks went off under his ass as the sparks and pretty colors flew all around the room Inuyasha's eyes immediately filled with murder

"There prince sparkle pants" how do you like me now? Jaken cockily asked too calmly "You want to know you little wart? Inuyasha answered "Works for me"

"Gulp, now lord Inuyasha it was only in jest,"

"That lord Inuyasha shit ain't going to work on me or save your ugly green hide,"

"Eek" Jaken squeaked "Lord Sesshoumaru?

"Jaken"

"Yes my lord? "Do not die training a new retainer would be to inconvenient," Sesshoumaru said with a sadistic smile

"Gulp, eek, he's sm-smiling," Jaken stammered "

Hehehe" Inuyasha laughed "Yum your ass is mine," he said rubbing his hands together 'Ain't had good toad meat in ages,"

"This is better than Christmas," Sesshoumaru exclaimed

Inuyasha had Jaken dressed in a pink ballerina costume tutu slippers and all, with a matching bag and rose on the neon yellow wig on his head "Cough, cough m, mutt face this is sick even for you," Kouga chocked out between laughs

"Well he's got a job to do and he has got to do it right," Inuyasha answered "Daddy wants his treats,"

"S, son you are one sick b, boy," laughing Sugimi managed to say

"What is this job you speak of, little brother?" asked Sesshoumaru

"In two seconds you will see big bro, it is the ultimate trick or treat," Inuyasha answered "Oh this is going to be the best Halloween ever,"

"Gulp" came from Jaken, Inuyasha pushed Jaken toward opened then pushed him out through the door "No you cannot do this" have mercy?

"Yes I can and am," was Inuyasha's reply "Now you are going to bear the embarrassment and go from house to house trick or treating or die. You owe me for what you did consider it getting off with a light sentence, oh yeah and before I forget," he said then dusted Jaken's cheeks with bright pink blush, and his lips with matching lipstick

"How can you be so cruel to a fellow demon? Jaken whined "Could you not just kill me instead?

"Easy, now get out there and score daddy some goodies," Was Inuyasha's reply, then smacked Jaken across the butt sending him on his way "Go on now daddy's waiting,"

"Oh the poor little bastard," Sesshoumaru said "That is indeed worse than death or any punishment I could hand down upon him,"

Jaken returned an hour later holding a bag bulging with Halloween treats "Good boy," Inuyasha said, took the bag and looked "Hm, nice selection now I won't have to spank and kill you,"

"Miserable heartless dog," Jaken mumbled

"What was that? Inuyasha said "Care to repeat yourself?

"Oh no"

The next thing Jaken knew he was inside the cage with the foxes with a big pink bow tied around his neck, but with one big difference the bow held the opening of a neon sprinkled with pink glitter red glow in the dark condom that encased his body up to his neck. Inuyasha filmed it with his digital camcorder that he had demented plans for later on

"Let me out of here, you cannot do this to me," Jaken yowled "You heartless fiend,"

"Ah shut it miss Prissy you look pretty and you know it," Inuyasha ragged

"Lord Sesshoumaru," he called out "Heeeeelp"

"Yes my little green menace?

"Please mi lord have mercy upon your most faithful vassal and kill me?

"I sadly must decline your request you are needed here,"

"Oh so cruel," Jaken whimpered "Why? I ask for nothing while in your service surely you cannot deny me this one small request"

"See beautiful ya ain't going anywhere," Inuyasha taunted, the kappa scowled

Halloween night

Inuyasha put his caged prizes on display, he charged a dollar per person to look upon the oddities and made a bundle by 11: pm that night he had made $500 "Let us out," the moping red faced foxes and Jaken pled

"Yeah, yeah flea bags keep your diapers don't drop a load have a period or get your panties in a twist, wouldn't want to fracture your nuts or anything," Inuyasha wisecracked "Hah, seems you little ulcers are good for something after all," he said as he counted his money

"Shit brutal, Kouga said

"I ain't done yet they are gonna look good on the internet I got them all on tape in the cages Jaken trick or treating. As soon as it's ready I'm uploading it," Inuyasha told them "Lubetube is gonna be poppin with this treasure,"

"Inuyasha my friend you are to diabolical," Miroku commented

"Who little old helpless me? I'm just an innocent dog celebrating his favorite holiday"

"Son with friends like you who needs enemies," Sugimi said

Inuyasha was in for a big shocking surprise one he did not see coming in a million years. As he crept to Sesshoumaru's room not paying attention he eased the door open, there as in his dream Sesshoumaru was laying on his side moving his hips back and forth. Inuyasha was silently gloating and smiling evilly

"Damn he's reliving that dream again, horny prick," Inuyasha thought

Only this time was different in a flash second he heard a familiar voice "Oh Sesshoumaru" and saw as big brother bite a neck, then was bitten himself by none other than fanged Kagome

Before Inuyasha could escape "Little brother you are about to die," Sesshoumaru warned after pulling his fangs from Kagome's neck "Do not move I shall make it swift and painless,"

"Inuyasha don't make me s-i-t you into hell," Kagome said "Si, si, si," she taunted

"Gulp I, I was just leaving wench.," he replied, shut the door, and ran like the devil was chasing him

"What's he up to now I wonder?" Miroku stated "Dad, dad, guess what? Inuyasha called out to his sire "What is it pup? Sugimi answered "Chip a claw did we? "Sessh just got married oops I mean mated," "Finally" Sugimi replied "I'm an inupapa in-law,"

"Mated married same thing," Kouga chimed in

"Yeah but with humans it's on paper," Sango said

"That's okay knowing Mister perfectionist Sesshoumaru he'll marry her human style to," Inuyasha pointed out

"Happy Halloween honeymoon to him," Miroku said with a big lecherous grin

"Yup, I played the trick and he got the treat," Inuyasha commented "Fate is such a cruel bitch,"

"You know son after mating that means Kagome's fanged and has claws so she can do way worse than before," his father was sadistic

"Gulp gee thanks pop you just had to remind me" didn't you? Inuyasha replied "I only speak the truth," Sugimi answered, loving his sons torment "Look at you an over five hundred year old hanyou scared like a two year old child, ridiculous,"

"Yeah easy for you to say it's not your ass she'll be using for a chew toy and claw sharpener,"

"Oh man I can just see it now dog breath's Kagome's new doggie claw sharpener," Kouga ragged "Chomp, chomp," "Happy freakin Halloween to me," Inuyasha said "Stinking wolf,"

"Smelly mutt,"

The following morning

"Inuyasha my love," a voice called

"Wen-wench in-law," he practically stammered 'Oh crap' he thought "Hi lil sis welcome to the dog den," he tried teasing

"Come here bro in-law,"

"No freakin way not happening ever,"

"Aw come on lil bro I just wanna hug you as your new sis,"

"Shit" zoom he was gone

"Sesshy"

"Yes mate wife?

"Kaggy gonna go pick some berries kay,"

"Very well don't chip a claw,"

"Mistress Kagome,"

"Yes my little green baby?

"Will you please give master Inuyasha a lump or two for me? Jaken sweetly asked with big innocent doe eyes

"Why certainly,"

"Hah? He gasped when he was lifted off his feet and swiftly turned beet red when he was kissed on the cheek

"Anything for you Jaky," she cooed after setting him down and petting his little head

"Aw shucks," he was coyly turning one foot with a dreamy look

"Be back in a few," she swiftly disappeared

"Oh no way I'm missing this," Kouga said

"Right behind you wolf," the rest of Inuyasha's pals chimed in

"Come on Jaken your coming with," Sango said grabbed him and followed the others out the door

After they were gone "You can still walk I see?

"So juvenile," Sesshoumaru replied

"Sesshy rocked that boat all night long,"

"Bite me,"

"Tempting but I'll pass that's cannibalism and I'm vegetarian now," Sugimi replied

"Oh please you give up meat you'd rather chew your own paw off first," Sesshoumaru shot back

Sugimi smirked "Are you going to follow and watch with the others?

"No knowing them one or more of them will record it anyway I'll see it when they return such modern wonders save a dog a lot of work,"

"Aw somebodies all pooped out? Does snookums need a nappy? Sugimi loved annoying his son

"Does papa need a nap? Sesshoumaru asked waving a fist at his father

"Ouch such a cranky pot, okay my boy lets rot our fangs out with some ice cream and Halloween candy" sound good to you?

"Now you're talking,"

"Yes sugar will give you more energy to go surfing again later," Sugimi teased

"Pervert"

"That's lord pervert to you peasant,"