A/N - written for the Halloween challenge on Sick!Wilson on LJ, one prompt was to start a fic with the words "It was a dark and stormy night..."

"It was a dark and stormy night..."

"Seriously? You're going to start like that?"

"Hey, it's a Halloween story, it's always dark and stormy in Halloween stories, rule of nature. Now shut up if you want the story, you're so whiny when you're sick." House couldn't believe Wilson had talked him into this. Wilson was stuck in hospital for the night so they could monitor his concussion and he was restless and agitated, unable to sleep.

One of the nurses (of the legions who found it necessary to check on the poor injured Doctor Wilson) had suggested that House read him a bedtime story. Wilson, the bastard, had agreed that would be a very nice thing for House to do, seeing as the last time Wilson was in hospital House was to blame. House didn't see the connection himself but Wilson had made those stupid puppy dog eyes at him and well...

"I'm not sick , I'm injured ."

"Yeah, yeah, same difference."

"I don't have a sore throat, I was attacked in the clinic by a patient. It's not the same thing." Wilson was actually pouting, like being 'attacked' in the clinic was some point of distinction or something. You'd think it was the first time one of his patients had taken a swing at him, the way he carried on.

"Please. Some little old lady jabbed you with her cane, if you hadn't fallen backwards and managed to knock yourself out on that cabinet you wouldn't even be here taking up a hospital bed. Try being shot some day if you want a real injury."

"Yes, your injuries are much more dramatic, I know. Well, I'm the one in the hospital bed this time so can you get on with the story?"

House rolled his eyes, it was Wilson who'd interrupted after all, but continued. "It was a dark and stormy night," he paused and looked at Wilson with narrowed eyes but Wilson just waved his hand theatrically in a 'go on' gesture. "and there was a werewolf prowling around the streets, a very hot werewolf with stunning blue eyes..."

"A werewolf ? A hot werewolf? With blue eyes? Pretty sure there's no such things as werewolves, let alone with blue eyes. This isn't a very realistic story, House."

"It's a Halloween story you idiot, it's not supposed to be realistic Look, do you want to tell the story? I could be down at the Halloween party you know. I was going to go as a prisoner this year. You could have been the guard."

"I'm sorry my injury inconveniences you, please continue with the story, I'll shut up." Wilson did some sort of elaborate pantomime of zipping his mouth shut and throwing away the key and House couldn't help smiling. He didn't want to go to the stupid Halloween party anyway.

"Okay, where were we..."

"The very hot werewolf with stunning blue eyes was roaming the streets, presumably trying to avoid getting shot on sight if he was in Princeton."

"Despite being incredibly hot, and very talented, the werewolf was very unhappy. He'd been dumped by his lady werewolf and was pretty screwed up.. He'd been drinking too much werewolf juice, and doing some stupid things."

"Hmmm, would these stupid things include jumping off a sixth floor balcony into a swimming pool and cutting his own leg open?"

"I don't think werewolves like water. Who's telling the story, you or me?"

"By all means continue, great story so far." Wilson laid back on his pillows with a smile.

"Yeah, I thought you'd like that part," House muttered. He settled himself more comfortably in the chair by Wilson's bed, took a deep breath and continued. "So, anyway, the werewolf did something really really stupid. At the time it felt great, he showed the lady werewolf just what he thought of her by smashing her house, er...den to pieces. It seemed to solve all his problems, he didn't even stop to think how much he'd hurt his best friend, the vampire, who got in the way while he was doing it."

"The werewolf's best friend is a vampire?" Wilson asked, his eyes going wide. "Does he sparkle?"

"No, he's a proper vampire, he doesn't sparkle, or glow, and if he goes out in the sun he burns to a crisp. Also, if he keeps interrupting the werewolf's story something bad might happen to him." He eyed Wilson but Wilson just smiled back and waved his hand to continue the story. House wondered if he wasn't going to get sleepy soon, he was in a hospital bed for a reason after all.

"Anyway," House continued, "the werewolf thought he'd done a great thing for himself, and ran off. He ran a long way away, and just went and sat in a forest for a while, away from all of his pack, and his hunting ground. It was like the world had stopped. Then one day, he woke up and realised what he'd done to his vampire best friend and the lady werewolf."

"So he contacted the vampire like a responsible adult and explained everything?"

"Well, he probably would have if he was a really boring werewolf like Foreman, but no, the werewolf came home and went to prison because he thought he should be punished for what he did."

"Do werewolves have prisons?"

"Yes, and they fill them with really annoying vampires who won't shut up!"

"Okay, okay, werewolf in prison to punish himself for being a total idiot. Got it. Then I guess the true genius of the werewolf was recognised and he was released from prison to walk amongst us again."

"Of course, the mere mortals couldn't manage without him."

"And did the werewolf learn anything from this terrible experience?"

"Oh, you'd like that wouldn't you? If the werewolf had learnt an Important Life Lesson from what happened and came back a changed werewolf." House fiddled with his cane and looked at Wilson. "The werewolf learned that his best friend was even more of an idiot than he thought because he was willing to take him back, despite what he'd done. The werewolf decided to try really hard not to hurt the vampire again, and to stay away from lady werewolves."

Wilson smiled at him with that 'pleased with House' smile he very rarely adopted, despite himself House found himself smiling back. "That's good, House. I'm glad the werewolf learned that. I think the vampire must have really missed the werewolf while he was in prison." Wilson yawned, "I think I can get some sleep now. Thanks for the story, House."

As he watched Wilson's eyes were drifting closed, he seemed much more relaxed and was finally going to sleep.

House waited until Wilson's breathing had evened out and his body was relaxed. He checked the monitors, Wilson was fine, the head wound was minor, he'd be out of the hospital tomorrow. He thought about going downstairs for the rest of the Halloween party but took another look at Wilson and decided against it, he'd stay and keep an eye on the idiot for a little while longer. After all, even vampires needed someone to look out for them every now and then.

Chase made his way up to the room where Doctor Wilson had been admitted for overnight observation. He figured that if Wilson was there House wouldn't be far away. House was missing the party, and it wasn't like he could go out to any other ones. It would do him good to go and have some fun.

He entered the private room and stopped dead. There was a large dog, or maybe a wolf, lying across the bottom of Wilson's bed. The dog was asleep but looked up as he entered, and Chase found himself staring into a pair of bright blue eyes.

Chase looked at the dog, the dog looked back at him, mouth wide open in what for all the world looked like a grin. Chase shook his head and glanced at Wilson, looking for some sanity there. The doctor was asleep, but Chase thought he saw something...

Chase crept closer, a wary eye on the dog and peered at Wilson. Yes, just there, two fangs protruding from Wilson's mouth. The dog thumped his tail and Chase could swear he was laughing at him.

Chase slowly backed away and then turned and dashed out the door, slamming it shut behind him.

He breathed a sigh of relief when he was in the clear. Damn, but this was the one day of the year he wished he was back in Australia.

"I hate fucking Halloween."

The End