How To Make A Promise (a Suits fanfiction)

Rated: T

Pairings: Mike/Harvey

Summary: Sequel to "The Right Words." Harvey and Mike have some miscommunication issues and do the best they can to work them out. A puppy, a wedding, and a child, however, strain the process a bit.

A/N: Sequel time! I'd really love some reviews, please. The first story started off pretty good, and then... nothing. Unfortunately, I don't exactly love how this first chapter turned out, so I don't know if I'm going to continue it or not. It depends on what you guys say, so, you know, be honest.

Word 1 - Thanatopsis (Posted 30 October 2011)

(Thanatopsis: 1. A view or contemplation of death. 2. A poem (1817) by William Cullen Bryant.)

Every kiss Mike shared with Harvey made him tingle all over. From their first kiss a year and a half ago, to the one they were enjoying right now as they stood opposite an altar in front of a few select people. It was always the highlight of any moment, as he either anticipated, experienced, or recalled one. He remembered them all, of course, but even though they were all similar in some way, they were all different, so it was impossible to recreate any certain kiss. Not that he wanted to, of course, the real thing was way too amazing and spontaneous.

As they left the altar, walking hand and hand back down the aisle as a newly married couple, Mike felt a new feeling come over him. He thought it was almost impossible to be any more connected to him, but the sensation of a gold band around his finger reminded him that this was a whole new thing for them. Sure, he knew marriage was really just a piece of paper that proved two people had promised to love and support each other and didn't really carry much meaning other than insurance and filing their taxes. But still, it meant everything to him that Harvey wanted that piece of paper for them. It filled him with so much hope and happiness to know that he wanted to be linked to him this way, forever bound together. To have a physical representation that accurately described every nuance of their relationship was impossible, but this was more than he ever expected. And he was happy.

He was better now, too. After the death of his grandmother, he could barely function. He thought about death a lot. He thought about her, and he thought about his parents. He'd been in a thanatoptic state of mind, constantly wondering about what happens and where we go and how the world is able to keep turning when a person is lost.

But Harvey was miraculously able to pull him out of it and make him feel more like himself. It was a gradual thing, but Harvey was patient and kind and loving every step of the way. Mike was grateful for everything Harvey had done for him. Of course he'd had a little doubt about whether he could actually handle being married. And of course it wasn't magically washed away as they went from being two separate individuals to a single entity, but it helped to have Harvey holding his hand reassuringly, his whole body conveying he would always be there whenever he needed him.

X

"Harvey, it's our weddingnight," Mike whined, "why are you going to sleep?"

Harvey grunted tiredly. "Because, we just got off a plane, and I'm tired."

"But... but... we just got married. We're on our honeymoon. And you don't... you don't want to have sex with me?"

"It's not that I don't want to, Mike. I'm just tired."

"Tired my ass, Harvey, I can see the travel size bottle of lube in your pajama pocket. If you don't kiss me right now I'm going to go to sleep and I will stay asleep the whole time we're here."

"I wanted to surprise you." Harvey sat up and kissed Mike on the lips, placing his hands on his hips and squeezing.

"You can't surprise your new husband with sex, he'll always be expecting it." Mike whispered into the kiss.

Harvey pulled Mike down on top of him, moving their hips together. "It feels strange. Being married."

Mike pulled away slightly. "Strange?"

"No... I didn't mean that in a bad way... I just mean it's different. I like it."

"You do?" Mike let a smile spread across his face as he hovered over Harvey's lips.

"I do."

"That's the second time you've said that today."

"It's true, Mike," Harvey promised with a kiss. "I know you're scared. I wish you would talk to me more but I'm doing my best to show you that I want this. And I'll be honest... I'm a little scared too. You think I ever thought I'd wind up married?"

"I bet you thought about it."

Harvey shook his head. "I didn't. Not until I fell in love with you. So I'm scared. Other people... they think about it all the time. Their entire lives are spent dating so they can find the one, or worrying that they never will. Mine wasn't. I knew... well I thought I knew that I wasn't the marrying type. But then one day I looked at you and... that all changed."

"When?" Mike wondered, kissing Harvey's neck. "When did it change?"

"Honestly?" Harvey waited to see Mike nod. "Just a few weeks after we started dating. We were on the sofa... I had you laying against me. And you fell asleep, so I carried you to bed and... and I looked at you for a few minutes. That night, before I fell asleep, I wondered how long this was going to last. That was when I realized I didn't want it to end."

"You know, for a man with no emotions you sure know how to be romantic."

"For you."

"I'd better be the only person you're romantic for." Mike warned jokingly, even though he was slightly serious.

"You'll never have to worry about that. I made a promise this morning, to love you and be true to you. I will never break any promise I make to you."

"Can I ask you a question?" Mike asked suddenly.

Harvey smirked. "I thought you wanted to have sex."

Mike laughed. "Believe me, I do. But there's just one thing..."

"You know you can always talk to me."

"Yeah, I know... I just... you're right. I am scared. But not because I'm afraid you don't love me or that we won't be able to make this work. I'm scared that this is all just a dream..."

"You're not dreaming," Harvey interrupted.

"I know I'm not." Mike said, confusing Harvey. "I'm worried that you're dreaming."

Harvey frowned. "But... I'm not-"

"Asleep. I know. You're wide awake. But I keep getting this feeling that... maybe you're dreaming... like in your head I really deserve all this love when in reality I'm just... just a kid who can't seem to hold his own head up."

"That's because you are a kid who can't hold his head up. But that's why you have me, to hold it up for you. And you do deserve my love. You're the only one who deserves it. The only one I want to deserve it."

"I'm a man, Harvey."

Harvey chuckled. "I think I know that by now. I've experienced your manliness more than a few times."

"But that's just the thing! What if you... what if you get bored with it? What if you decide you'd rather have a woman? What if..."

"Woah, Mike." Harvey sat them up. "All this... now? If you were worried about this why didn't you say something?"

"I told you. I was afraid."

"So you wait until our wedding night to tell me all of this? Mike... We've been together for long enough that you should know I don't want a woman."

"But you never told me... you never said you were fine with me being a man."

"I thought it was obvious."

"It wasn't... I've been thinking about it since that first night. Since that first kiss... you like women. Every night since the day I met you you had a different woman in your bed."

"Yeah, and I told you when we officially became exclusive that those days were over. I didn't want women anymore. I wanted you. No women, no men... just you."

"And you're not going to change your mind?"

"No. I'm not."

"Okay."

"And what about you? You planning on changing your mind any time soon?"

"What?" Mike gasped. "Of course not, that's ridiculous. I love you."

Harvey smiled. "Exactly. Now, tonight is our wedding night, and I seem to recall you being extremely horny."

"I still am," Mike reminded him by rubbing a hand over Harvey's crotch.

"Let's do something about that." Harvey flipped them over, throwing Mike onto his back and kissing his neck and chest. He'd been hoping to have a nice night, filled with wild sex and, well, more wild sex. And, he admitted to himself that he was kind of hoping Mike would be okay tonight, all doubt removed until the high of being freshly married wore off. But he wasn't upset. Mike needed to be reminded of how much Harvey loved him. He remembered everything, facts and events stuck in his head like they were crazy-glued. But actually understanding that things were true, that required a careful mixture of eye contact, sweet words, and soft kisses he wouldn't even consider giving to anyone else. He did it because he liked doing it. Loved it, even, if he was being completely honest. Mike needed him, so he was willing to give himself to him.