Tom was nervous as he slowly walked to the Captain's quarters. They had not met for several days. He had been relieved of his sick bay duties while the captain was still quartered there. Commander Chakotay felt that keeping them apart for another day increased his chances of still having a pilot when they did meet. But his time was up. Captain Janeway requested his presence in her quarters. And it was clearly not really a request. Tom took a deep breath before he rang the chime. "Ok Paris" he thought to himself "you can do this."

When he entered her quarters Tom found the captain wearing casual clothes. He was surprised. A uniform would have been much more impressive. This outfit did not send the message he was expecting but her expression did. With eyes of steal she looked him up and down. "Ensign Paris" when Tom nodded his acknowledgment she continued. "Over the last few years you have done many things. Some more successful then others. But convincing my command crew that we are in a personal and rather seedy relationship is really the icing on the cake." She closed her eyes and let out a long sigh. "I understand that you wanted to protect me Tom but .."

Tom closed his eyes for just a moment before he interrupted her. He had rehearsed what he was going to say but it all went out the window at that moment. Instead he moved in to her personal space and said, "No I don't think you do." His hand was balled up tight and he gently placed his knuckles against her stomach. He moved his fist in a caress. In a low voice he told her, "Your punch could not compare to the way I felt when you made me see what I had actually done. The risk my selfish idealistic actions caused to Voyager and the people I love."

He moved his other hand placing his palm softy on her face. His thumb lightly stroking her cheek bone. "A slap on the face compared to what I did to you. God, Kathryn, I was willing to make you shoot me down. I didn't even think about how much Voyager needs the Delta Flyer." His lips turned up just a hair at his small attempt at humor.

Janeway did not smile she was standing completely still. She knew she should move away from his caressing hands. But oh God they felt so good. It had been so long since anyone touched her and even longer since she had a touch of this nature. She was silently rooted to the spot as Tom continued.

"When Chakotay came and told me you were sick," He moved both hands down her back pressing in to her kidneys. The pressure pulled her into an embrace as he continued. "I felt like I had been kicked in to a wall but ten times harder then ever before." He moved one hand to her chin and gripped it gently. The look on his face was open and tender. "All I could think was that you may die and our last conversation was filled with anger. I was devastated with the thought that I wouldn't be able to tell you that I love you too."

Tom knew he was risking it all as he gently lowered his lips to hers, they were soft and gentle. As he felt her respond he added more pressure to the contact. Kathryn made a little noise at the back of her thought and then followed it with a low moan. She parted her lips and allowed him entry. After a few moments he pulled away. He looked almost scared as he spoke.

"I know it was the tumor that dictated your actions. Please Kathryn tell me that the feelings were real. Tell me that you do actually love me."

In answer she put one arm around his waist and one to the back of his head. She pulled him in for a deep kiss that left no doubt of her feelings. Their lips didn't separate as she moved them to the couch. Tom smiled through the kiss. "Captain Janeway, always in command" was the thought that flitted through his brain. This time he would let her take the lead. Later he would have his turn. Right now they both needed her at the helm.

Kathryn pushed all her doubts aside. Their age difference, the command structure and hardest of all what would they tell their parents when they got home! There would be time for that later. For now it was just too right to think of anything else but their love.

Hours later the two lay naked and sated in Kathryn's bed. She had her head on Tom's chest as he stroked her hair. Her voice was exasperated as she asked "How am I ever going to face them knowing what they think? How am I even going to walk on to the bridge?"

She felt his chest rumble against her ear from his chuckling. She lightly slapped him on the stomach. "Really Tom, this is not funny." Tom chuckled a little more.

"I don't know why you are worried. I am the one who was beat up by a woman half my size." He paused as she groaned in exasperation. "Kathryn he said gently. Chakotay, The Doctor and Tuvok are the only ones who know what happened. And they don't actually believe my explanation."

"Then why am I not facing a court marshal? There is no way you got Tuvok to falsify logs."

Tom's voice lost the tinge of humor. "The know, as I do, that while your anger was real you actions were not your own. They also knew that you would insist on some kind of investigation. When I told them about our relationship," at this comment her moan of embarrassment was loud. "they were happy to latch on to it. Tuvok's response was 'This is logical information as his last romantic paring was with a Klingon.' As you are the captain amending the order of no contact or" He grinned broadly at his next statement. "conjugal visits is at your discretion. Due to the tenor or our relationship" Janeway groaned more loudly. "there was no actual assault. no complaints were filed and all videos deleted to preserve the captain's privacy."

Kathryn's hand began to caress Tom's torso. She went just a little bit lower with each touch until she was softly stroking his erection. When she spoke her voice was completely opposite to her touch. "You better make this worth my while Ensign Paris," her voice was the one of steel that was usually heard by hostile attackers, "because Chakotay will never let me live it down."

"Aye Captain" Tom replied with a broad smile. He then gently rolled her on to her back and preceded to do just that.