Rather Amorous

(Who knew Matthew got so much attention?)

. . .

Alfred F. Jones could never have guessed that his brother got so much attention. At first, he didn't think much of it - he shrugged it off as Matthew finally getting some friends - until he saw Gilbert Beilschmidt and Lars van Rijn enter his northern neighbor's room.

Twice.

On consecutive days.

And in the mornings afterward, Matthew would have a funny gait and winced whenever he sat down...

The first thought that had popped into Alfred's mind was: Oh, my god, he's having sex while he's high and hand-feeding that albino some pancakes?

The second thought was: Fuck. Why won't he hand-feed me any pancakes?

Priorities, a voice that sounded suspiciously like Arthur's resounded in his mind. Priorities.

That was why Alfred, after seeing Gilbert and Lars and Ivan and Francis, finally decided he'd had enough. He gave an indignant sniff and stomped over to the door. He hesitated, though, upon hearing the rustling on the other side.

Then he told himself to man up, inhaled deeply, and yanked the door open.

Matthew was eating pancakes with Gilbert. They were fully clothed. There were no signs of a syrup fetish nor an orgy.

Alfred suddenly felt sheepish. "Oh...hey, Mattie..."

Setting his utensils down, Matthew raised an eyebrow. "What's up, Al? You usually don't come over unannounced."

"W-Well, you see..." I thought you've been having orgies, so I thought I'd drop by to crash the party. Or maybe join.

"Uh...what?" Gilbert looked perplexed.

Whoops, had he said that out loud?

"That's interesting, Al." Matthew looked amused.

Apparently so.

"I'll just...leave now..." Alfred gave a weak wave before shuffling out of the room, clicking the door shut. Then he bolted down the hall to his own room, hoping his face wasn't as red as it felt.

"Is he gone?" Matthew's closet door opened and out tumbled eight other nations.

Matthew nodded once, smiling somewhat skittishly. "Mhm." He licked a wet stripe up his syrup-stained finger.

"Good," Ivan said.

"Teach him to eavesdrop on our fun time," Gilbert mumbled crossly.

Arthur cleared his throat. "Right. Now, Matthew, come back over here so I may undress you again."

A/N This is so silly.

I just

I don't even know.

Let's see if I can channel all of this energy into actually updating one of my other fics...