Ok, I know I just posted a new fic recently and I know that I'm also meant to post a HetaliaXHarry Potter fic sometime but I got wind of the Manual fics and caught the disease... so yeah, here it is.

I've noticed that no one has (yet) done a fic where his or her character's in the same position as mine (spoilers) and I decided to give it a try (glad I did; it flows really well!) So here it is; my manual fic!

Disclaimer (this will be for the entire fiction): I do not own Hetalia Axis Powers, Flying Mint Bunny or the manuals that are presented (these are by LolliDictator). I also do not own anything that is made into a reference, such as calling the bunny a Pikachu or something like that.

Enjoy~

Knock knock knock.

Kate heard the rustling of the residents inside before the door was unlocked and a teen appeared at the door. Kate knew immediately that this was the first delivery for this house by several, extremely obvious signs.

1- there was no destroyed property, shouting or even the sound of something cooking going on in the house.

2- the teen was still in her pajama's –which happened to only consist of a bra and shorts- and it was mid-day already.

And last, but not least, the teen was not, in absolutely anyway, glaring at her. Or even trying to. Most who had even one ended up glaring at her; probably because they knew exactly what was too come.

Hey, they shouldn't shoot the messenger~!

Grinning at the poor soul, Kate tipped her hat –that had green wings on it and made her feel really awesome and stupid at the same time- at the girl before glancing down at her clipboard to check for the name.

"Hello, you wouldn't happen to be Miss. Laura Brown, would you?" Nodding her purple-dyed head, 'PJ-girl' sleepily rubbed her eyes and tilted her head.

"Why? Who're you? And what the fuck is with your truck?" Ah, the truck. The lovely green truck with a mint green flying bunny –or, as she preferred to call it, Pikachu~! Kate loved her truck.

"Oh, that's the uniform for the trucks, I'm Kate and I'm here with your prize for winning; the Hetalia Units!" Yup, deadpanned stare. Why did no one ever believe them? Oh, right, the whole 'didn't give you my address' thing; didn't they know all they did was illegally go through the governments network? Clearly not. Honestly!

"So is there a specific place where you want your unit or can I just leave it on the doorstep?" Grunting in disbelief, the girl pointed to the lounge and Kate grinned before skipping back to the truck and pulled out the trolley, putting one of the three remaining boxes from today's deliveries, with its manual stuck to it, before wheeling it out and up to the front door, pausing for a second to let the girls move before wheeling it into the lounge and setting it down there.

Taking the manual, Kate grinned and handed it over.

"You might wanna read that before opening it; they can be hazardous if opened incorrectly. I'll be back in a couple of days with the next one; enjoy~!" And with that she skipped off to her truck and put the trolley back before getting in and driving off, waving to the little kid who was staring at her awesome truck from the top window from the house next to Laura's as she went by. Ah, how she loved her job!

Today she had had a lot of new customers; maybe it was because it was that contest on… oh, what was that art site again… ah! That's it; DeviantArt! Yes, the contest on DeviantArt had rewarded the top three with a free order of units; the number of how many being based on position of ranking. Heh, poor artists had no idea what they were getting into.

Not that she had anything against artists; she aspired to be one herself, but that wasn't going to happen anytime soon.

Ah, well, two more deliveries for today and then she could go back home. Glancing at the address, Kate's smile began to edge a bit towards the insane/maniac side of happy as her brain registered and recognized the address. Aah, one of her favorite customers. Why? Simply because their reactions where so effing hilarious! Still grinning like a maniac, Kate continued to drive down the main road, taking a left turn at the next intersection.

Pulling up at the farm house a while later, Kate quickly tucked her smile away as she pulled the box and manual out on the trolley and wheeled it up to the door. Several crashes and smashes were heard from inside as well as several cries.

"YOU SHOULDN'T BEAT THE HERO!"

"BLOODY WANKER!"

"Kolkolkolkolkol."

"THE AWESOME ME DOESN'T WANT TO HEAR SUCH AN UNAWESOME LIE!"

Deciding that her client could use a short –very short- break, Kate saw this as her cue and rang the door, mentally cackling as she heard the cry that emitted from the owner of the house.

"ALL OF YOU SHUT UP."

Well, waddya know? She had perfected the 'Germany shout'. It sounded remarkably like what Germany had said in the first episode of the anime…

Just then the door flew open and an extremely ruffled women in her late-teens appeared, several men still fighting behind her; although, in their defense, they were succeeding in doing it quietly.

Deciding to focus on the women and let the boys have their fun, Kate grinned at the person who was glaring at her.

"Hello Miss. Jennings. I see you're having a good day."

"Why thank you, Captain Obvious."

"No problem, General Sarcasm." Kate knew that she was on close enough terms with Katrina to get away with such comments. "I presume you want this in the lounge room again?"

"Yes plea- Will you lot stop that?" The last bit was the result of Katrina turning around and spotting the still-fighting nations; all of whom immediately froze upon being caught and ran up the hall and into different rooms, all in different directions.

Chuckling, Kate wheeled the box into the lounge –where Katrina's Gilbert was hiding behind the couch- and put the box down next to the coffee table. Taking the manual, she handed it to Katrina and smiled.

"Good luck!" Katrina glared before suddenly smirked and waved back as Kate left the premises, calling back.

"Right back at'cha. I have a feeling you'll need it more then me~!" Kate turned to give her a questioning look but was only given a deeper smirk and a closed door.

"Wha… whatever." Shrugging, Kate dragged the trolley back into the truck and picked up her phone from the dashboard, calling the number of her client/friend.

"… come on, pick up… ah! Katrina! What did you meeeaaannn~!" Cackling was heard from the other end of the line, from both Katrina and several of her units. Well, that was never a good thing.

"Don't worry; you'll find out soon enough."

"Katri-"

"Beep. Beep. Beep."

Eye twitching, Kate snapped the phone shut and put it back down. Oh well, now she had to do the last delivery and go home; at least she didn't have to check in with work everyday.

No, her job was quite simple, she mused as she started the engine and headed towards the big freeway that would take her back into the suburbs. Sure, she had to get up at six thirty every morning to get to work on time; but she would normally end up with most of the afternoon off to be used as she pleased.

The pay was good; enough to bring her all the way to America, in fact. Kate had heard of the Flying Mint Bunny Co. all the way over in Australia and the thought of a simple (read: easy and lazy) job with good (read: brilliant) pay had brought her all the way over to America. Her house was on the inside of the city, a grand suit at the top of a tall apartment building; and she tended to keep to herself (which was why Katrina's number was one of about ten on her phone; the others being work, the nearest Pizza Hut, her family and about two other people).

Speaking –or rather, thinking- about locations, she had better check the whereabouts of the next client, just to make sure she was heading in the right direction. Wait a minute… pulling over quickly (read: harshly), Kate double-checked the form in front of her. This wasn't right… it couldn't be… and yet, it was right in front of her. A form of application with her name and detail, sitting there like it was an innocent bugger; and was that-?

Flick back to the last paper. Flick forward. Repeat. Three times.

That bitch.

Credit card details? Katrina's.

Kate knew, however, just as much as every other employee of the company, that no customer was aloud to send back a order, no matter how much they protested. Sighing in defeat, she started up the truck again and pulled back onto the road.

Life just got a whole lot more complicated.

=^.^= Have a break; life will wait ~^.^~

Having managed to pull the box out of the truck, into the lift and up into her apartment and then drag the trolley back down and load it back into the truck before taking another trip up the lift to her apartment, Kate was immediately assaulted by her dog, nagging her for a walk.

"Sorry, Pépite, but I have a package to open first. I'll take you later, okay?" Proceeding through to the kitchen, she pulled out a green apple and walked out into the lounge, pulling the manual off the box as she past, and took her place on the black, leather couch. Whining, the spoodle followed her and jumped onto the couch next to her and gave her the puppy eyes while managing to eye the food in her hand at the same time.

"No."

Whine.

"No."

Silent puppy eyes.

"…fi-ine." Taking a big chomp, only enough to cut the apple, Kate ripped the piece off and gave it to her puppy who immediately chomped on it as Kate finished off the original. Once both were done eating, Kate flicked open the manual

Kate now sat there staring at the manual in her hands in disbelief. Katrina had wanted revenge? Well she got it, alright! Come on, couldn't she have ended up with one of the even remotely sane ones? Sighing, she slammed her head down onto the coffee table where the manual rested beside her head.

'FRANCIS BONNEFOIS: User Guide and Manual'

Why? Why? Whhhyyyy? Okay, now she was done. Sitting up straight, she picked up the manual and skimmed through it, leaving the removal instructions until last; knowing that they would be the least significant if worse came to worse.

*Programming:

Your FRANCIS BONNEFOIS unit is equipped with the following traits:

Chef: Whether you like French food or you just can't cook, FRANCIS BONNEFOIS will be the perfect chef for you! Years of culinary experience mean that he can make something delectable and delicious out of the most boring ingredients. Get him a job at a restaurant, and we guarantee that he'll make it to Head Chef within a month!

Stripper: Ever seen Moulin Rouge!? Your unit is as shameless as the girls in that film, and has no qualms with stripping and/or whoring himself out (although he'll only work in high-class bordellos). After all, he's gorgeous and has a sexy accent - what more could you ask for in a prostitute?

Marriage Therapist: Believe it or not, FRANCIS BONNEFOIS is quite the counselor. If you've got problems with your significant other (perhaps over why you ordered the unit in the first place?) FRANCIS BONNEFOIS can sit you both down and help you talk out your problems!

Teacher: Assuming that his students will be able to understand his accent, your unit is a great teacher. He's good at nearly every subject, but best at philosophy (after all, Francis Petrarch, the "father of humanism", was French!), the French language, and sexual education. His students will adore him!

Note: if he teaches French, he'll probably start shouting every time someone mispronounces a word.*

"I suppose… he can cook for his living; it's not like I can cook much myself or don't earn enough money." That was an understatement; dinner was normally ravioli, oven-baked fish 'n' chips, toast or fast food. Or nothing. It really depended on how lazy she was feeling at the time. As for the money, well, she had enough now to afford the apartment and her food while having enough for art, but when more came then she supposed they would have to start getting official jobs.

*Reprogramming

After properly awakening your FRANCIS BONNEFOIS unit, you'll have the option to reprogram him to any of the following settings:

Lewd (default)

Dramatique (default)

Overprotective Big Brother

Elegant

Napoleonic Era (locked)

Rape-Maniac (locked)

Your unit comes in his default Lewd and Dramatique modes, which entail him groping people, cracking perverted jokes, and acting like he'll die if you reject his advances. He is more amiable and good-natured in either of these two modes, and, after a few hours in any other mode, he'll revert back to these for some reason.

Overprotective Big Brother is just that: instead of groping you, he'll hug you in a completely innocent matter and be whatever you need him to be for you, even if you need him to go beat up the 6'5 bastard down the street who stole your wallet. (FRANCIS BONNEFOIS can be startlingly strong when he needs to be.) To get him into this mode, simply cry in front of him or complain about your shitty love life (or cry in front of him about your shitty love life). Your unit will give you great advice on what to do.

His next mode, Elegant, is also easily accessed. Simply take him to a mall with several high-end stores and a bulging wallet, because he won't leave until he's given you a makeover or at least bought you new clothes. Most of the time, he'll be able to sweet-talk the store clerks into knocking off about fifty percent of the bill, so don't worry about going broke with his expensive taste!

FRANCIS BONNEFOIS has two locked modes, Napoleonic Era and Rape-Maniac. Napoleonic Era is most easily unlocked by leaving him in a room with other units all in their respective empire modes; however, it'll take a while before he reverts to Napoleonic Era, so don't expect him to walk out ten seconds later and start imposing the Civil Code on your neighbors.

Rape-Maniac, on the other hand, is unlocked by depriving FRANCIS BONNEFOIS of sex and/or porn for a month. Eventually, he will snap, and run off in search of an ARTHUR KIRKLAND unit. We are not responsible for any damage done to said ARTHUR KIRKLAND unit.*

'Hmm, should avoid completely banning porn and –apparently- sex.' Eye twitching, Kate flicked to the next section. 'No way in hell am I going to let him molest me.'

*Relationships with Other Units

ARTHUR KIRKLAND: These two units have been rivals since forever, basically, with the Hundred Years' War and all that, but their animosity for each other could be interpreted as a massive build-up of UST. (The history of the Entente Cordiale sure says so.) Whenever they're arguing and a third person gets involved, FRANCIS BONNEFOIS and ARTHUR KIRKLAND join forces; as soon as a fourth person enters, they'll split onto opposing sides. In a relationship with ARTHUR KIRKLAND (which is the most likely pairing for a FRANCIS BONNEFOIS unit), both units will sleep around but come back to each other every night; don't comment, because that is how their relationship will work for a few months.

ALFRED F. JONES: FRANCIS BONNEFOIS and ALFRED F. JONES go back to the American War for Independence, and they have an agreement like "You helped me get independence!" - "You let me into your pants after I helped you get independence!" or something. We're not entirely sure, although you're free to find out...

LUDWIG KALTHERZIG: The relationship between these two units is mostly antagonistic. Since the Franco-Prussian War, FRANCIS BONNEFOIS and LUDWIG KALTHERZIG have not been very close; the Treaty of Versailles only worsened their relationship, and the Fall of France didn't do much to help it. However, these two are always up for a nice round of hate-sex, and we recommend you record it.

ANTONIO FERNANDEZ CARRIEDO: Despite being historical rivals, what with their Hapsburg/Valois-Bourbon hatred, these two have a bromance of epic proportions. It'll take a little difficulty to spur into a relationship, mostly because both of them are as close with GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT as they are with each other; if you can get your unit with an ANTONIO FERNANDEZ CARRIEDO, it's very likely that a GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT unit will be introduced into the relationship and you'll end up with a really hot threesome.

GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT: Unlike FRANCIS BONNEFOIS and LUDWIG KALTHERZIG's sour relations, GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT and your unit are great friends. Their rivalry is jovial, although GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT will ignore your unit if he's in Napoleonic Era mode. Again, a relationship with these two units is almost certain to eventually include ANTONIO FERNANDEZ CARRIEDO, so if you have plans for your FRANCIS BONNEFOIS with either of those two units, remember to install cameras everywhere.*

As she read on she had to restrain herself; yes, she worked for Flying Mint Bunny Co. No, that didn't mean that she wasn't a fan of Hetalia- or yaoi for that matter. When she found something setting off her fangirl sensors… well… due to over-restraint, she tended to act a little insane; normally it was just a maniac smile and insane laughter though. Said smile was creeping onto her face now as she read about the possible threesome that could occur (read: be caught on tape for a possible porn video) of she got a Gilbert and an Antonio unit as well.

*Cleaning

While you might need to remind him to shave, FRANCIS BONNEFOIS is on the whole more hygienic than the other units. Also, all beauty products you get for him must be French, or else he will refuse to use them.

Feeding

FRANCIS BONNEFOIS is very picky about what you buy for him - only the best! - but if you let him into your kitchen and make the most amazing foods ever. That is, if you like snails, frog legs, and other curious animal parts.

Rest

He'll only sleep when he's tired, and so tends to sneak out at night. You'll have to either tie him up or face breaking your curfew to chase him around.*

Groaning in despair as she read over the pickiness that was to come, she made a mental note to give him some money to go shopping for products and not give him a key to the doors of the apartment; at all. Right, now, onto the unpacking.

*Removal of your FRANCIS BONNEFOIS from Packaging:

FRANCIS BONNEFOIS is one of our milder, more cultured units, which means that he is less likely to hulk smash you if you wake him up improperly. However, there is still the danger of him acting violently passionate if you wake him up improperly. If you would like to keep your virtue for a little longer, here are some easy ways to wake your unit up without damage to your reproductive organs.

1. Play 'La Marseillaise'. If you speak French, sing it yourself. Francis will start cheering and singing along - while he's distracted, reprogram him.

2. Cook French food. Make sure you cook it well, or he will throw the platter on the floor and accuse you of giving him shit, although you'll have the chance to reprogram him either way.

3. Play Johnny Hallyday. Francis will respond positively, although he might have a tendency to start dancing. And if you're really unlucky, he'll drag you along. If you don't have Johnny Hallyday, play Edith Piaf. And if you don't have Edith Piaf or Johnny Hallyday, Yelle will do. Warning if you do play Yelle: Francis may start dancing Techtonic, and you might want to avoid having elbows in your face.

4. Play a porno, loudly (but not loud enough to scar the neighbors). Francis will burst out of his box and start watching it, and you can program him while he's busy fapping. Warning: this move is recommended only for people who can move extremely fast, because if you're not able to reprogram him enough you might end up losing your virtue after all.*

Oh, fun. So four was most defiantly out of it; she didn't own any porn and there was no way in hell that she was going to go and borrow it from a video store, she'd be to embarrassed. Two was out too, mostly because she couldn't cook; that left her with two options, both of which involved music she had never listened to ever before in her life. Shrugging, she got her laptop and played the first video on YouTube that claimed to be La Marseillaise.

Singing emitting from the box alerted her to the fact that the unit was awake and cautiously, she opened up the side where the clutch was and hide behind the door that she pulled open.