Snape couldn't believe the amount of thinking he would have to put in for the next few hours that night. Upon closer inspection, he realized it was nearly one in the morning now and his thursday of preparing class schedules and mailing a good many letters to the schools governors and teachers had turned into a dubious early morning of secrecy. He worked by lamp light, his owl, Marciana, was sleeping silently in her cage. Having flown all over London that day, he felt sorry, knowing that she would be doing the same if not more once the sun rose.

His mind wandered however. He had just finished finalizing his class lists for 7th years who were to be taking N.E.W.T potions classes and only had to finish his class proposal, but he had received a letter from Albus earlier in the day when Marciana returned. Unsocial and brooding as Snape had always been, he kept correspondence very brief and typically took the summers off to himself. Choosing to do his class work later on and ignoring most owl post he got until it was necessary. He relished his privacy by attending both wizard and muggle wine tastings as well as renewing his vast collections of books and updating and his volumes on the dark arts and potions. Overall, he had had a rather dismal summer considering the entirely new variable of Lord Voldemort's return to power.

He had of course returned to his side after Potter came back with Diggory's body, Dumbledore gave him his time and ensured that Snape did not look too suspicious in arriving so late that he would be considered traitorous. His correspondences with Dumbledore over the summer were largely accounts of his short visits to other death eaters or the dark lord himself. He had found out, and revealed to the Order of the Pheonix, much of his plans surrounding the department of mysteries. Dumbledore flooded him with owls, asking for details and extraneous tidbits of information. He asked about particular death eaters, possible hiding places, wizards they could trust. Snape would typically let these letters pile until he would send one short concise answer to all of them, annoying Dumbledore just enough to let him know he was becoming very tired of acting as his double agent.

But the thing that had really ruined his summer wasn't Dumbledore or his class schedules, but the new assignment Voldemort had pegged for him. While the other death eaters were making plans to break into the ministry or assault and torture other witches and wizards, Snape's job was much more personal and uncomfortable. In the short visits after the fiasco of the Triwizard tournament, Voldemort had confided in him knowledge of Snape's past that Snape thought only he knew. He had decided that Pettigrew must have gathered the information himself and passed it onto the dark lord. It was a secret that Snape had kept all his adult life and had started back at Hogwarts, from his own school days. The times he spent being mercilessly teased at the hands of James Potter and Sirius Black, while trying to make futile plans for Lily Evans to like him.

Snape had pondered the idea, early on that Remus Lupin had been a werewolf and despite the fact that no one would believe him and Lily thought it was absurd, he became sure as he watched night after night- Lupin's friends leaving the castle to see him. He interpreted then that the only way his friends could be with lupin is that they too were werewolves, or they bewitched themselves so that they may be together.

He became obsessed, retracing their steps. He snuck outside the Slytherin common room each night to see them bound across the ground as animals, heading for the whomping willow. He went to the library and began researching everything he could on animagus and was instantly struck by the desire to turn them in. From what he could tell, they were unregistered and could face expulsion for breaking international law and curfew to be in the company of a werewolf. But his vengeance stopped as he began to feel envious, jealous, almost angry that a stupid quiddich star could preform such a dangerous and advanced spell. Snape knew he could do better then some no talent, selfish prat. So he set on to becoming an animagus himself. Going through every book in the library, as well as the restricted section to gather notes and examine diagrams of wizards that had been able to become an animagus. His reaserch was quite unknown to anyone but himself until one day in his 6th year he had turned a blind corner and ran right into Sirius, knocking both them and their bags on the ground while onlookers laughed and shouted. Lupin had stooped to pick up Snapes books for him while Sirius got out his wand, threatening to hex him. Snape was too terrified of his secret being exposed to care much about Sirius's waving wand. His eyes looked in horror at Lupin who looked curiously at the cover of his advanced transfiguration textbook and Pettigrew who's gaze had fallen on Snape's notes that had strewn across the floor. Mostly diagrams of wizards taking the form of birds and bears that he had copied from a rare first publishing he had gotten second hand from Professor Slughorn.

He had guessed from then on that the whole of Potter's friends had some idea of what he was trying to do, but felt a little better knowing that it probably had put them all on edge as well, knowing that he was onto their game. It didn't stop their late night haunts in any case.

At the end of his 6th year, he felt he was ready to cast the final charm in order to secure his own transformation. He still was not entirely sure what to expect but had been practicing over and over in his head for months now, the words, the movement, the mindset he needed. He gathered his things, an extra set of clothes in his backpack, a quick cheat sheet of reversal spells and lifesaving charms in the event of a mistake, and of course, a note from lily for good luck. He set out to the rim of the forbidden forrest to ensure privacy. He wasn't entirely sure what kind of animal he would be so he stayed close enough to the lake to allow himself water if he needed to breath underwater, but the shade of the trees and distance from the castle if he became a large bear like creature or terrifying giant spider. He was extremely excited and determined, but could not prepare himself for what would happen next.

Despite all his preparation, his notes, and his practicing. The spell could barely be called a success, at first he stood still, waiting with his eyes closed, baited breath. The spell felt very warm and tingled along the outline of his body. He opened his eyes to find nothing, no fangs or fur or wings. He was still plainly Severus Snape, perhaps more warm and on edge, but not any remarkable animal. He pulled his pocket mirror from his backpack to find a very dark green streak running through his hair, he frowned, pulling at the hair, mixed with his greasy black locks. Was that all he had accomplished?

He treaded back to the castle angrily, prodding the highlight until it has black again. He would have to check over his notes and his reading again, it hadn't said anything about a slow transformation, but abysmal failure? He thought over and over again in his head as he crossed the paths in front of the school past the socializing teenagers, back to the Slytherin common room. He would have to do a lot more reading.

He noticed later on that his toenails had grown a little thicker then normal, but dismissed it as wishful thinking as he lay in bed, comparing his own diagrams and math to what he had originally copied out of the book. The day wore on and it wasn't until after dinner he realized the full consequences of what he had done. He felt a little sick in the evening, attributing it to dinner until he felt the pain in his stomach began to worsen and he had to consult his potion guide to make something to ease the pain. He began to feel dizzy as he warmed up his cauldron however, and had to sit down. His whole lower half and extremities feeling weak. He knew it couldn't be any good outcome now, after reading but only decided to visit Madame Pomfrey at midnight when he had went to the bathroom to find his underwear stained with blood.

Snape sighed, rubbing his eyes and putting Dumbledores envelopes in a desk drawer file. It was too late to be thinking about such traumatization.

He couldn't put it out of his mind however. Pettigrew knew that night as he was in the hospital wing too, for some sort of accident in Herbology that had rendered him temporarily earless. Snape had come down to the hospital wing in tears, desperately trying to explain in the simplest ways possible how "he was just waving his wand while he was reading through he transfiguration books and became violently ill"

He stayed in the hospital wings for many nights, Madame Pomfrey had eased him into wearing a cotton slip in his pants to collect the blood and change it every few hours while she consulted with Professor McGonagall about any spells that could do damage to Snape's intestines. But other then the bleeding, the discomfort and the headaches he felt, Snape was in relatively no pain at all and so on the 5th day when the bleeding eased and the symptoms waned, Snape went right back to studying what had gone wrong with his spell. Snape wouldn't know the full damage until about 30 days time in the fall when the bleeding came back and he was forced to stay in the hospital wing again. Madame Pomfrey began to understand as the year went on and Snape stayed at the wing less and less, only coming to get cotton sheets. She shared her ideas with McGonagall.

In the interest of his privacy, McGonagall confronted Snape alone one night after dinner, calling him back to her office to ask him how he was feeling and if he had any more ideas about what spell he had accidentally cast. He lied as best he could, and asked the professor if she had any ideas. McGonagall had explained that Snape had most likely performed a flesh altering charm, a very dangerous and advanced one, and because of this he had now graced himself with a fully functioning women's reproductive system. She added rather darkly as well, that if he was going to flick through any more books on highly advanced transfiguration of the human body, he would do well to keep his wand out of his hands.

For a long time Snape mourned the loss of his male insides. Long after graduation he grew to detest the monthly ritual of his menstral cycle and he lived in constant fear that someone may find out his secret. He was unsure if Pettigrew or Lupin had ever put any of the pieces together, but since Voldemort had come to him with the information, he assumed the worst. He was not able to rectify the spell he had miscast, since he was unsure exactly what spell he had casted, and refused to allow any witch or wizard at St. Mungo's examine him.

Voldemort had called Snape to him after a few weeks of silence and Snape accepted the call, traveling across London to meet him in secret, the second time face to face since he had gotten his body back.

"Things are fairing well with the mudbloods, are the Severus?" He had inquired, greeting Severus with a firm handshake. Snape bowed to him respectfully.

"Quite. Dumbledore has been very earnest in trying to contact me, trying to find out news." Snape said in hushed tones. He never got used to Voldemort's cold demeanor. "The ones that know are in a panicked state, disorganized. You'd think they would have been able to summon a few decent witches and wizards but most have been refusing Dumbledore's owls. Too scared, too afraid they might start getting picked off like last time."

Voldemort smirked, Snape knew that it was hard for him to maintain moral without the whole world running scared from him. He relished headlines about muggle torture and disappearances. But they both knew that keeping on the down low, keeping quiet was what was best for now. Voldemort drew chairs for them to sit and they sat in the basement of the house he had been summoned to, two death eaters standing guard at the door. Snape knew they were listening intensely however.

"So they don't know about our plan then?" Voldemort cut it, amused "The Department of Mysteries? Anything?"

"Oh they have a few ideas," Snape murmured, keeping a cool head as he sipped absentmindedly on the wine he was provided. "Increased security, recruiting. They aren't sure what you're after but they know it's at the ministry. If only they had more then a few people to scrounge up so that they might have a decent watch."

"Dumbledore is not yet panicked however?" Voldemort asked innocently. "He seems to be making quite the show of me in the papers."

"It's only discrediting him." Snape remarked "Dumbledore knows you've returned to power but can't make anyone listen so he's practically shouting about it. Pretty soon they'll be printing him in the Quibbler. I wouldn't be surprised if they try to get him to step down as headmaster."

Voldemort smiled plainly, it was not an evil smile, it was almost like a thing of business, the two men could have been meeting over lunch to discuss stocks and bonds.

"You'll be returning to Hogwarts then in September of course? Still the potions master?"

Snape bit his lip. He had forgotten to reapply for the Defense Against the Dark Arts position, almost as a tradition rather then an actual desire. He had been so busy with his spy work that he had quite forgotten after term ended.

"I will indeed. No doubt Dumbledore will want me back at the school and under his thumb where he can watch me. Make sure I'm not up to anything." He looked at Voldemort rather blankly, but thought in wonder if Voldemort expected him to make bi monthly trips to see him for reports.

"So you will be, I understand. Which is why I'm approving your stay at Hogwarts so that you may keep your ears open and-" He trailed off, knitting his bony white fingers together in his lap. "Work on other projects."

There was no innocence in that, Snape knew it. Whatever he had in store for Snape he was easing him into it. It wasn't certainly something that could have just been sent by owl. Voldemort would have just done so if he could, spared the pleasantries. He had much more things he could attend to. But Voldemort looked very serious behind his business grin. Cold black eyes that gave way to brute force if they didn't get their way.

"I've become most interested in an heir as of late Severus." Voldemort stated plainly, leaning closer to him. Snape nodded, taking a long sip of wine. "It's something that's been very troublesome to me since I realized how very delicate I can be when the right wizard comes along, try as I might, I still cannot fully understand how I was defeated that night almost 15 years ago, and while I know we all can be assured that now that I am back to power, I may not simply disappear; there are certain things I would like to make clear to my death eaters in the event I am gone."

"To clear up any ideas about allegiance to you?" Snape asked cautiously.

"Precisely," Voldemort said, happy Snape seemed to grasp his aim. "If I am believed dead or a phantom floating from body to body, it is not to be assumed that Voldemort himself nor the beliefs that he enacts are gone from this world. So it has become clear to me that I must have a second, not in power or in leadership, but in blood. Pure wizard blood." He looked at Snape very forcefully now. Voldemort rose to his feet, his sweeping black robes flapping around him. Snape looked up at him, curiously.

"It's my belief that you have a very exceptional gift Severus," Voldemort said, "A gift that no man readily possesses but that you, by some accident do possess." He motioned for Snape to stand, and he rose ambiguously, started to feel goosebumps. He didn't understand what Voldemort was getting at. "If you do have this gift it would be of great use to me and It would guarantee your loyalty to me, even as you sit among blood traitors and muggle lovers. You would be greatly rewarded. Now please, remove your robes."

Snape blinked for a moment, flexing his fingers at his sides, feeling Voldemort's icy gaze roving his entire frame. He couldn't object, no matter how undignified or uncomfortable it was. He quickly began to unbutton his robes at the top, drawing his arms through the sleeves and letting them fall to the floor until he was left in a thin white top and his briefs. He became aware of the cold air as his leg hairs stood on end, he curled his toes anxiously, looking to Voldemort.

"Your underwear if you will Severus," Voldemort smiled. "Please" He added in a dark whisper.

His hands felt like ice and he could feel his heart beating a mile a minute. He bit his lip but knew again, he had to obey, feeling his arms doing the work for him of catching the briefs at the elastic and pulling them down, past his knees until they too fell in a heap on the ground. He didn't step out of them though, they were his tiny island. He found It easier to pretend he was fully clothed and Voldemort was simply admiring a new set of robes.

He drew closer stooping down to examine Snape from below. Snape kept his gaze locked foreword, not daring to look down as he felt one icy hand slowly prod and feel it's way into him. There was a sharp intake of breath as Voldemort withdrew his finger, dotted with dark brownish blood.

"There is a time" Snape croaked, still not looking down, "Of menstruation that I must endure monthly. It is no different then that of a woman but because of my unique situation I must temporarily create an artificial Vulva so that I might be able to pass to blood more naturally."

"Ah," Voldemort said, mildly amused, undeterred by the blood he adventure further, feeling between the false lips. "No feeling?"

Snape swallowed hard, feeling the muggle tampon he had inserted shift the slightest bit at the touch from Voldemort. "No," he replied shortly. "When the cycle is finished I maintain my true form."

"Well," Voldemort beamed, standing to his feet again and washing the offending hand with a spell from his hand. "You are a perfect candidate it seems."

Snape couldn't fathom asking for what as he began to feel him mind putting the answer together, instead he quickly did himself back up, feeling very violated. He put his robes back on in a hurry, only to realize he had done the buttons up wrong.

"Because your life at Hogwarts can be called uneventful compared to the field life of any of the woman in our brotherhood, you will be able to gestate and produce my heir Severus." Voldemort said quite happily, as though it was a fantastic honor. "At Hogwarts you will teach and go about your daily life while caring for my son or daughter inside you. In your present condition however..." Voldemort examined his clean hand and placed his wand back inside his robes. "You won't be susceptible. So you will come back here in 10 days time so that you may receive my seed."

Snape finished doing up his buttons right, only to feel his stomach do a flip, his heart racing. He had to father a child? Voldemort's child? How in the hell was he going to do this while at school? How would he hide it from the other teachers?

He had left the meeting that day shaken to his core, perhaps it was the added emotional stimulant of his period, but he found it hard not to burst into tears of anguish as he dashed up to his study, startling Marciana as he wrote a letter to Dumbledore describing his unique situation and Voldemort's new mission for him. He sent her out the second the ink dried, watching her fly in the summer's night sky.

He had a reply back by morning, a very long scroll that had an attached box that had been tied to Marciana's foot. Dumbledore implored him to let Voldemort inseminate him, but to give his body a contraceptive of some sort to stop conception. He said rather boldly that Voldemort would give this mission to no other and that for Snape to refuse it would be treasonous, he would have to accept to stay a double agent.

The box was filled with muggle contraceptives, pills, female condoms, a diaphragm and a silly looking ring that had to be cooled to a certain temperature to work. As well as the contraceptives was an emergency morning after abortion pill, labeled "Just in case"

Snape looked down dismally to his half finished class proposal, sighing deeply. He only wished he could just convince Voldemort he was barren. Possessing female anatomy but not the female touch to procreate. Dumbledore had spelled out the importance of Voldemort not getting his seed to work inside Snape, but Dumbledore's plan sounded almost worse.

Severus, while we may be able to trick Voldemort and keep him from inseminating you, we still need to make him believe you are indeed carrying his offspring. I wouldn't want to lose you as an agent or let Voldemort turn to other dramatic ways to get a child so it must be of the upmost importance that you DO conceive, but with a kinder, more gentler person.

Snape had almost choked reading the letter. Who the hell was this kinder more gentler person he was supposed to have sex with to produce a baby? This immediately ruled out all females and as Snape was not homosexual it certainly didn't leave him any options. Snape had no one, he lived in isolation and the only friends he had were either dead or so immersed in Voldemort's dark arts that he could no longer relate to them anymore. There was no buddy of his that would "take one for the team" and give him an injection of magical child.

Begrudgingly, he had to sigh and take things one at a time. He would come to terms with his fate later, now he was allowed to be angry. He opted to use the diaphragm as the best option because he knew Voldemort could feel a condom and he didn't want any birth control to throw off his hormones. Madame Pomfrey had tried to get him to take birth control regularly so they might stop or lessen his periods, but as he found out, they didn't agree with his body at all. He got migraines, shakes, nausea and dizziness unlike anything he had ever felt before. He could barely function and decided the bleeding was the lesser of the two evils. The next matter at hand was the most uncomfortable and violating part of Snape's life. He spent the next 10 days easing off his cycle and largely sleeping do to the depression of his situation. He had several meetings for the Order of the Pheonix and only attended one in which Dumbledore arrived and spilled the news to everyone. Snape only looked up from his piling shame to see Lupin and Black's reactions. Lupin, on the whole looked very concerned but he knew the single twitch that came from Sirius's eye was a tell of how badly he wanted to explode in laughter at the state of him. Their gazes did match up at one point though, as though they confirmed their own suspicions.

"Because of Severus's unique situation, I'm calling upon all the males of the order to make an offering." Dumbledore said at the end of the long explanation. Snape sat at the back eyes closed, wishing he was back at home in bed, waiting for the next day he would have to return to Voldemort, like a breeding bitch. He shuddered. "Obviously, some men will not be able to make a contribution. Severus needs to be able to produce a child that may pass for the child of himself and Voldemort." Dumbledore explained. Looking to Hagrid and Remus, who were disqualified. "The offering of sorts will be a donation rather then a..." He broke off and looked to Snape who was staring daggers at him. "...Volunteered action," He continued. "In the interest of anonymity and to take pressure off of Severus himself, I suggest we draw a name from a hat."

Remarkably no one objected to this. Anonymity meant that the donator wouldn't have any responsibility for the child at all. Because it wouldn't be a sexual act, no one could object to the idea of having sex. Snape thought dismally at the idea of everyone in the room refusing to have sex with him, even if it meant the dark lord would be thwarted.

Anxiously, Tonks raised her hand.

"Do we have any idea what's going to happen to the child once it's born?" Tonks asked feebly looking around the room to the other Order members, "I mean, if it's one of us giving our seed to Voldemort, who would want to if he's just going to train it in the dark arts?" A few people nodded and Snape blinked with mild interest.

"I have no intentions to raise a child to hand over to Voldemort the moment it is born." Dumbledore stated. "If we can birth it in a situation ideal for us, and as it will most likely be born in May if conceived shortly, the baby will be born at Hogwarts, making it ideal to protect. What's important Is keeping the baby and Severus as two different entities so that he may still play his role as spy while other forces may divert Voldemort's ability to be in contact with the child.

"So who is going to raise the child?" Lupin asked, his gaze flickering towards Snape.

"That remains to be seen." Dumbledore said softly. "Surely Severus will have a say."

Snape wanted to curse Dumbledore through the wall. He was just as bad as Voldemort. On one side he could get raped and be pregnant, but on the other, a group of random people could give him random seed and he could be having Mundungus Fletcher's illegitimate child. Both sounded just as inviting as the other and he seemed to get the worst of both worlds.

"This seems fairly out of character if you ask me." Lupin added again. "Why would Voldemort really want this child? He says it's so he may sire a child, but Voldemort seems like the last person who would want one more powerful wizard or witch around. He hasn't hesitated to kill off his entire family, why should he go about wanting a child that would only slow him down?"

"I have thought about this," Dumbledore admitted gravely. "There is the possibility this is all a lie to put a new piece on the table. Voldemort may want the child to better his already very intimidating form. He may sacrifice it for a new kind of dark magic or even possess the child so he may have a whole new body to inhabit. There are many possibilities, right now though we must focus on the task at hand. We can assume whole heartedly that it does not matter what he want's the child for, as he may never get it."

Snape could care less if the child was in Voldemort's hands or not. He had no intention to care for it and as far as he was concerned the thing could fall through his legs into a garbage can. He wasn't going to become a mom and go into hiding and leave his job to protect a child he didn't even want. He hoped, gloomily, that he was indeed barren and that nothing, not the Dark Lord nor the Order could get him pregnant. This wasn't something that boys of any age were taught to expect and Snape was learning new things about his body everyday that he didn't understand. Why was it he who had to be thrown into this situation? He felt like he'd been trying to catch a break his whole life.

Going to Voldemort's the next day was a tremendous effort. He slipped the diaphragm in place so that he would be protected but decided against taking a shower that morning as he planned to spend the entire rest of the day in the tub, allowing his body to prune perhaps might take away some of the shock Voldemort would put into it. He dressed in quiet, Marciana hooted with concern, bobbing her head up and and down and walking over his desk so she might see more then his turned back. He patted her on the head, and with a sigh, had made off to Voldemort, this time at a different location so not to raise suspicion with the locals.

He left that afternoon the same way he had come in, shaky, irritated and bottling perhaps the worst emotional breakdown he had had in a long time. He didn't suppose he could call it rape as Snape had technically consented, and by all in large it hadn't been so extremely horrible. He barely saw Voldemort the entire time and because his entire downstairs area was fake for the time being, it had no feeling at all, he only felt the pressure behind Voldemort and he lay there, thinking of being at home in the safety of his own bed, in his large comfortable duvet.

Rather then staying in the bath for the rest of the day, he took a quick shower and wrote to Dumbledore, wearing his bathrobe, his hair done-up in a towel, Marciana came over to him again, glad of his company, but he swatted her away as he wrote, having a hard time just keeping the water from his shower from landing on the parchment. He said he was fine and it had gone well. Voldemort told him to reply within 2 months to ensure it had either worked or failed so they had that window to get him pregnant with some mystery sperm.

He thought pensively for a moment, which one of the order members he wouldn't mind carrying the child of. Hagrid and Remus already disqualified for their obvious traits, there was also Kingsley who, apart from being a great wizard, was african and therefore wouldn't be a good option for making a baby that was supposed to be european.

He thought Arthur Weasley and Alastor Moody to be rather old but he wouldn't be particularly disgusted at the thought of them. He couldn't imagine having a fair skinned ginger haired son or daughter (Though most likely it would be a son if the weasley ratio was at work) There was also Bill and Charlie Weasley, but they were far too young in his opinion.

The best candidate, he thought grimly, would have been Sirius. He shuddered at the thought. Him carrying Black's child? It would be a nightmare. At least Sirius would never know if it was his child, but if Snape ever found out, he felt his body might kill the child out of sheer spite.

He decided at last he was better off not knowing and went to bed that night haunted by dreams of being very pregnant with all the marauders from Hogwarts laughing at him.

In the morning, an owl had arrived with a letter from Dumbledore, instructing Snape to come to Number 12 Grimmauld Place right away so that they might inseminate him artificially. He took a nice good long time getting ready, thinking that this may be the last time he could spend to himself, not pregnant. However stressed he was would certainly be increased ten fold in the next months. He had no idea how a female pregnancy would work with his situation and it just a few weeks time he would be going to Hogwarts to be at the mercy of the teachers and students. He would much rather be doing typical lowly death eater type business at this point.

There were very few people at Grimmauld place with Snape entered. He was greeted by Sirius wearing a bathrobe, he merely grunted and let him through the door. Snape said nothing but entered the house and made his usual beeline for the meeting room, hearing only the voices of Dumbledore, Molly Weasley and Tonks. Sirius marched back up the stairs to his room without another word.

Among the others in the room, was a muggle doctor, who looked at though he had been bewitched to be still and quiet. He had with him a few frightening looking mechanical objects, all set on the floor as the main hardwood table had been removed, chairs stacked to make way for a sort of make shift futon lying on the floor with a single ratty pillow.

"I see you got my owl," Dumbledore smiled warmly "Come sit down."

At those words the muggle doctor seemed to snap back into reality. Although still clearly dazed and bewitched, his eyes focused slowly on Severus, who removed his shoes and sat on the floor, a dismal look in his eyes. Surely he didn't need the company of Tonks and Mrs. Weasley.

"We've got all the samples ready for you dear," The ginger haired woman said softly. "We decided it was in your best interest to let you pick for yourself." And she offered him a large wizards hat filled with slips of paper, each with a written number on them.

"I don't care," Snape coughed "It's not as though this is going to be fun whether I pick number one or ten. I came here to follow orders."

Tonks cracked her knuckles loudly, drawing her hands out of her lap to take the hat from Mrs. Weasley as though she expected this reaction. She began to fish around through the hat, clearly trying to grab the one at the bottom, other little slips falling out of the top as she drew up her winner.

"How does Number three sound to you?" She asked, holding the slip up, unfolded.

"Fine." Snape hissed. "Do whatever you need to do but make it quick." He began to unbutton his trousers, looking at once from Tonks to Mrs. Weasley sharply, until, looking at each other, they got the hint and rose to leave.

"It'll all be over soon Severus," Dumbledore said in hushed tones. "You don't have to be angry with them."

"Save it Dumbledore." Snape murmured, pulling his trousers off as the doctor, right on queue began to prepare his instruments. "You take for granted everyday what I do for you."

"You'll have to lie on you back, legs spread, good job miss." The doctor said kindly. Moving forward, between Snape's open legs. He felt venomous having been called a woman for perhaps the first of many times, but he reminded himself that they would most likely have had to bewitch the doctor into believing such a thing so that he could work regularly. The doctor loaded his sample into what looked like a very flexible long needle.

"Try to relax Severus." Dumbledore said, "It won't hurt."

Everything about it seemed to hurt, Snape thought as the doctor entered slowly. It was undignified, laying on the dirty floor of the Black's house, his black hair splayed across the old pillow as he bucked his hips foreword to receive the anonymous donation. He expected everything to be warm, but not the equipment, nor the fluid that was slowly ejecting into his body was at all warm. To be saved, it must have been refrigerated. Snape guarded his thoughts, trying to remain clear headed. There was about a total time of a minute until the doctor withdrew.

"You'll want to keep your legs up like that for a few moments, let gravity work for you, that's it." The muggle pulled away and began to clean his equipment. Severus held onto his ankles and closing his eyes. Imagining inside him, the cold thickness bonding with one of his own cells.

"Feeling alright?"Dumbledore asked casually. Looking into his eyes. Snape wanted to yell or swear at him, but perhaps it was the piercing blue gaze that made him reply. "Fine."

"I'll have a cup of tea made for you before you depart." Dumbledore smiled softly. Turning to the muggle doctor who was apparently done packing up his equipment. "We are done with your services Dr. Propp. Thank you very much." As though they were the magic words, The doctor rose to his feet and walked in a straight line to the front door. Snape was still laying on the floor as instructed as Dumbledore chuckled softly.

"He'll forget the instant he shuts the door what he just did and will get a call from his daughter asking him to come home immediately." Snape didn't find this very amusing at all.

So there he was, roughly three weeks later, doing paperwork in the dead of night for Hogwarts. His summer drawing to a close, the stale air of his office making him dull eyed and tired. He looked to Marciana thoughtfully before setting his quill down and deciding against doing any more busy work and retreating to bed. He would have it all done the next day and an owl from the department of wizarding education at the ministry would be arriving soon, requesting his packet of course descriptions and proposals. He could stand to take the little time he had left of the night for sleeping.

He combed his hair back with his hand, undressing down to a bear minimum for the lingering summer heat and laying down into his comfortable waiting bed. He rolled onto his back thoughtfully, closing his eyes and feeling down to his stomach where he could only assume the growing bundle must be. Perhaps the size of a marble, deep beneath his skin. How long would it be before he could not rest in his preferred position, laying sprawled on his stomach at night? When would it become obvious to his coworkers that he was with child. How many more people would he have to tell until he finally went mad and fled both Dumbledore and Voldemort for a little piece and quiet? He had so far strayed away from thinking about such questions and acted like a horse with blinders, merely trudging forward apprehensively to whatever could be waiting. He would be leaving Spinners End soon to go to Hogwarts, would start teaching again and be corresponding back and forth between the death eaters and the order by owl. Recently Dumbledore had told him that the ministry would be putting a new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher in place at Hogwarts and surely the rest of the teachers would come under fire by this new placement. Snape found he hardly cared, having copied much of his curriculum from past ministry approved teaching guides, he saw little to be afraid of. He only had to keep Dumbledore at arms length and no one would bother him.

His thoughts slowly quieted, his breathing deepened, and Snape fell into a very peaceful sleep.

Whew! Ok, I have most of the 2nd chapter done so I'll probably upload that tonight as well. Sorry about how wordy this chapter was, I promise the pacing will even out a little more. For reasons that felt obvious to me, I didn't think anyone would want to read about Snape and Voldemort getting it on... just sorta seemed gross to me.

Trying as best I can to keep everything pretty in line with the books, other then this being some big dumb mpreg adventure I wanted it to be an alternate take on what exactly Snape is doing all of Harry's 5th year at Hogwarts so I'm sorry if I go into detail about shit that isn't all that interesting to you.

Review Review Review! If you like it please tell me, as I said I already have the 2nd chapter mostly written so it should be up soon, but like almost everyone I'm really busy and finding time to write is hard so if you like what you read be sure to tell me so I'll know I'm writing for YOU. If I made some really dumb obvious mistake somewhere go ahead and tell me. Positive Critique is always welcomed, although I'm not really trying to become Steinbeck. If you think mpreg is gross, whatever I don't care. It is weird, I understand. Not for everyone. Fanfiction itself is kinda weird though, no?