Dislaimer: I don't own One Piece

Mudslinging

Zoro was tired of lugging treasure back to the ship and for some reason, Nami always made him come and lug the treasure. No matter what island they went to, it was always his job to bring back the treasure. Part of it stemmed from the fact that she liked to get it all in one go, and part of it stemmed from the fact that Zoro was the most able bodied male that she could blackmail into doing it. And that's why Zoro was now lugging an enormous sack of treasure over his shoulder while Nami was pointing and calling out directions to him.

Setting the sack down, Zoro stopped and wiped his brow. It wasn't that the treasure was too heavy, but it was a particularly hot day on a particularly humid island. Zoro was sweating more now than he did during his workouts.

Nami whirled around impatiently, "Come on, Zoro! Let's go!"

Even though he was annoyed at having his rest disrupted, Zoro lifted his enormous burden again. "Alright, Red. Let's get out of here."

"What did you say?" Nami was fixing him with a menacing glare and was practically growling.

Confused, Zoro repeated, "I said: Let's get out of here." What was her problem all of a sudden. This was her treasure he was lugging back to the ship after all. You think she would want to get moving.

"No. no. The other part." Nami said waving him back.

Then it hit Zoro. Had he actually struck a nerve? "You mean when I called you, Red?"

And that was it. Nami's teeth were gnashing together and her fists were balled up at her sides. "Listen here, you! You!" she was pointing at his chest threateningly. "Ugh. My hair is orange not red," and to illustrate she held up one long orange strand before she continued. "So don't call me that!" She poked him in the chest for emphasis. Oh, this was too good!

"Alright. I get it. No 'red' comments," Zoro smirked ready to go all-in and try his luck, "Carrot-top."

It was a good thing that Zoro was both big and strong, because if he hadn't caught Nami's wrists, he probably would have taken some damage from her attack. As it was, he was able to keep her at bay, and continue his teasing. "Alright, don't get worked up," he said softly. "You're making your face the same color as your hair!"

Even though Zoro was holding her wrists, Nami was still attempting to swing her arms in his direction. As a small child-back before her pirating years- she had been teased mercilessly for her hair color and it remained a hot-button issue for her. Since she couldn't hit Zoro, she kicked him and the large man had enough sense to pull his knees together before the damage could be done to anywhere too fragile. Nami spoke with an air of finality, "Don't make fun of my hair!"

"Okay, okay, you win," Zoro said letting his posture relax as if defeated. "I won't make fun of your hair... Fire Crotch!"

"Hey you just said...!" Nami shouted.

Zoro laughed and said, "I only said hair."

"Why you!" Nami said launching herself at the swordsman, but he merely dipped down, caught her waist and hoisted her over his left shoulder.

"You should pay more attention, Navigator. Even I can tell it's going to rain soon. We need to get you back to the ship. I know you have a problem with being rusty." Zoro chuckled even as she started pounding her fists into his back.

"That was about my hair again!" she shrieked.

As Zoro used his right arm to lift the bag of treasure and started walking again. "Okay, Calm down Ginge. I'm carrying your treasure back after all. You got what you wanted."

"Ginge?" Nami asked confused.

"Ginger," supplied Zoro.

"You big brute! You are no better!" Nami shouted pounding him with her fists again. "Maybe I should be like that cook and call you marimo head!"

Calmly, as if it didn't bother him, Zoro said, "Whatever you want, Copper Top."

"Sea Weed brain!" shouted Nami as she kicked and twitched in his arm.

"Match head," he countered easily.

"Mossy!"

"Lava top!"

"Slime skull!"

"Bush fire!" with that Zoro dropped Nami unceremoniously on the deck of the Thousand Sunny and sat her bag of treasure next to her. He walked away before she could see the amused grin on his pointed face.

Nami hated not getting the last word, so she cupped her hand around her mouth and called after him, "By the way, I'm charging you fifty thousand beli for every name you called me!"

With a wave of his hand, Zoro called, "Put it on my tab!" And he walked off to leave a very angry-faced Nami alone on the deck.

A figure bounded clumsily toward her and Nami looked up to see Luffy smiling down at her. "What was that all about?" the captain asked afraid he was missing out on something fun.

Trying to shake off the mad feelings, Nami answered, "Zoro wouldn't stop making fun of my hair color."

"Huh," Luffy started. As he looked over Nami's hair he stuck a finger in his nose and said, "We used to call old Dadan 'tampon head."

Nami sprung up and punched the Captain in the face shouting, "You go too far!"

The punch sent Luffy tumbling over backward and he didn't stop rolling until he was sitting on his bottom laughing.

"What, exactly is so funny?" Nami asked somehow managing to make the question sound more like a threat.

"Shi shi shi!" Luffy continued hugging his sides with his laughter. "Zoro is tricking you!"

Now Nami was confused and she looked at Luffy with a hand on her hip and said, "What do you mean, Luffy?"

"Well Zoro is making you angry by making fun of you hair, but he told me that he thinks your hair is pretty cool-especially now that it's long." The rubber captain started to laugh again. "He got you all angry over nothing!"

Nami took in this information and wondered what it could mean. Zoro liked her hair? Luffy and Zoro were having conversations about her when she wasn't there? Ugh! Pirates were infuriating! "Whatever," she said to Luffy in a scolding tone. "Just get this treasure to somewhere I can count it!"

There would be plenty of time for thinking about Zoro- or deliberately not thinking about Zoro- later; right now it was time to sort through all the wonderful treasure!

From the crow's nest, Zoro looked down on the scene with a smile as he watched the orange glow of the afternoon sun illuminate the long strands of Nami's radiant hair.

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Author's note: this is the result of my "hair crisis" about how to refer to Nami's hair (as asked in mystery pants). Everyone seemed pretty split down the middle on whether Nami is a red head or needs a new term. Thus came this amusing little snippet with a hint of fluff at the end! And I didn't even let Zoro turn it into a lemon! (He's always trying to do that you know!) [I am still working on the next Mystery Pants, but this came up first. Which actually could probably fit in that universe before anything else happened, but wouldn't fit right to add in there at the moment.]

I suppose you'd classify this as a friendship story, but feel completely free to read it as a ZoNa because I heavily endorse the Zoro/Nami.

Thanks for reading! Please leave me some review-love! 3