Distance

Broken Quill and Scattered Ink

Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma ½ or its characters.

…

He was slowly learning. For a young man who grew up not knowing any affection, anything that involved l—love was out of his territory. Physically showing it, thinking it, saying those three damn words to the girl he had been practically forced to accept into his life, were all things he pushed away. Romance was an uncomfortable land, and he dare not tread on it.

But he was thoroughly punished for it. Akane pummeled him into the ground when he said the wrong things, opposite of what he was usually thinking of her, mind you. She kicked him into the air, where he got a good view of Nerima at any instance he was being rude to her or insulting her.

He was only doing what felt natural. He could not sit there and allow himself to put on puppy eyes and compliment her hair, which fell right at her neck at the perfect spot, or her scent, his favorite, of apples and cinnamon. He would not tell her that he was beginning to find himself thinking of her every day, every second, when they are not together. And he would not tell her that at night, he was tempted to sneak into her room just to watch her breathe.

Ranma shook his head vigorously. Nope, nope, nope!

He had grown up being pushed to his limits by Pops. To never show any vulnerability, fear, or weakness.

And he knew very well, especially after Jusenkyo, that Akane was his own weakness. And he had been taught to get rid of weaknesses. So any feelings of her could not be allowed. They were unnatural. Vulnerable. Unmanly.

Ranma stood straight and pushed out his chest. Yeah. Besides, there's no way I l—l—lov…

…..

He had just picked up Akane from the train station, being back from university, and agreed to Kasumi that he would walk his forced fiancé home. Verbally, he seemed reluctant to do so. Inside, he was jumping for joy—he hadn't seen her in months. However, when he found out about her new theatre project, he was less than pleased.

He let out a 'hmph' in irritation, low and grumbled at the base of his throat. He pulled air into his cheeks and turned away—nothing different from a child.

A sigh floated up from his companion walking below him on the street. "Ranma, it's no big deal—"

"Don't give me that! Of course it's a big deal!" he nearly hollered back. "You-!" The pigtailed boy suddenly lost all of his loud anger, and turned away from her again.

Murmuring low, he let out a much softer: "You agreed to let him…and you…k—k—k…"

"Kiss." She answered, matter-of-factly, almost distractedly. Akane kept her gaze on the script book she was currently reading on her open palm, her pace steady. "The word you're looking for is 'kiss'."

A blush scampered across his face. His head turned back to her so fast, surprised at her audacity to say what he couldn't. Cracking his composure again, and feeling his boiling anger rise for the fifteenth time that day, he jumped down from the fence and walked at her side, hands stuffed into his pockets.

"And why are you okay about all of this? That's my question." He kept his eyes on her, his own blazing. "What happened to 'all guys are perverts'? Huh?"

"Well I've learned that I was wrong." Her calm, soothing voice was not at all like his own, gruff, angry one. "Not all guys are perverts. Some are actually passionate about their theatre job, like I've told you for the umpteenth time, this one is. The scene I'm doing requires a kiss. It doesn't mean anything. We're acting."

Ranma let out an angry grumble.

"Ranma, I can't hear you when you—"

"I said 'this is stupid'."

Akane chuckled. "You're not, by any chance….jealous, are you?"

Ranma fell behind, frozen in his tracks. The usual outburst: "Jealous?! Who's jealous, me? Of a tomboy like you?"

"That's what I thought."

…

"Ranma—"

"No, listen to me!" his irritation had sky-rocketed. "I'm tired of going to your dorm and seeing someone there! It's like you've…you've…"

You've forgotten me.

"You've changed!"

Akane scrunched her nose. "What? No, I'm still the same old me…" she trailed off, confused at his accusation. "At least…I think I am. But so what if I did? I changed for the better!"

"No you didn't!"

"I've made so many new friends, Ranma, and learned so much stuff!"

"All those friends are guys, too!"

"So what?"

His hands went to his skull and both tugged at his scalp in mad jealousy. "So you can't have guy friends! You have a fiancée! Or did you forget?!"

Akane pouted, turning to the side, and murmured: "Well you have lots of friends that are girls. Mind you, they all think they're your fiancees, too. At least mine are just my friends."

"That's not the point! Don't make this about me!"

She looked back at him. "I'm done with this conversation. You aren't making any sense. Goodnight."

And with that, she shut the door on him, the duck nameplate clattering in mockery.

"UGH! UNCUTE!"

….

Her break was already over. He wandered to her room, not even sure how he got there, and saw no one inside. The bed was already made, everything in order and clean.

Ranma let out a "hmph" and turned away, his nose haughty in the air.

If this is how she wants to leave, with this attitude, and go away for a few months, then good riddance!

"Kasumi-oneechan, this is more than enough food! You didn't have to prepare this for me!" Akane's voice floated up the stairs from the main hallway near the door.

The thought of having Akane absent for months on end made him lose some of his ire. He snuck an eye open and peered to his betrothed, standing at the bottom of the stairs laughing with Kasumi. His gaze softened.

How would he ever tell her his massive epiphany? How could he even bring her to understand half of what he felt for her? How scared he was of losing her? Again?

"Ranma…" she had fluttered up the stairs so silently that he did not notice until she was in front of him.

He pretended that he had not been staring at her for the past few moments. "What?"

"I wanted to say something before I left you this time," she muttered, gaze on her fingers, where she absently tugged at each finger of her glove.

"Oh?" Ranma snorted. "Because the first time, leaving without saying anything made you guilty? I'm impressed."

He noticed his fiancee's lips drew into a tight line. Closing her eyes, she let out a sigh. "Just listen. Don't say anything. You're going to ruin everything. So shut up and listen to me."

Ranma opened his mouth to retort, but Akane lifted her gaze and the fierce determination in her eyes made him close his mouth.

"I…I don't know how you want to take this," she gritted out. "I don't understand it myself. But…I think…"

She pulled her gaze to her gloves again, suddenly meek. The fire of her determination fizzled out. "I think I love you."

Ranma felt the ground beneath him fall out. Heart in his throat, he uttered:

"…What?"

Akane looked back to him, eyes determined. "I'm sorry. But I love you. I just wanted to tell you before I left this time."

…

The train bellowed and started screeching in its tracks, leaving the station. Numbly, more from Akane's heartfelt confession than from the snowing cold, Ranma waved, watching his bright and smiling fiancé wave back, no sign of nervousness or vulnerability showing on her face. She waved back so nonchalantly, like she just had not told him that she l-lov—loved him.

His wave slowed down as she stared at the black, dirt steel armor of the train as it began to speed away.

He did not answer her back.

She had confessed, he nervously laughed, rubbing his neck, asking "what?" several times, to which Akane answered every time, more solidly than the last: "I said I love you, Ranma. Didn't you hear me?"

Then, Kasumi entered in, telling Akane she had to hurry or she'd miss the train.

They walked to the station, boots crunching in the snow, and he was half thankful and half upset that Kasumi had given her company with them. He had wanted alone time with Akane, to be able to say those three words back, but he also was not sure if he was ready to say it. Nonetheless, Kasumi walked with Akane a few steps in front, and he fell back, pouting as he was conflicted with his feelings, staring at the snow beneath his feet.

Akane and Kasumi's chatter was just background noise; Ranma's thoughts were entirely elsewhere.

"Let's go, Ranma," Kasumi whispered. "The train is gone now."

Ranma realized he had been slowly waving the whole time, and the train was out of sight for a while now. He stopped, frowned, and started on the way back home with Kasumi behind him.

Next time, Akane. He thought. Next time, I'll tell you.

…

A/N: It's been too long, I know, I know. I finally have some time off from med school and decided to try to have my hand at writing again. No promises for next update, but I'll do my best!