Chapter One

I was sat on my bed, cocooned in a heap of blankets and covers with my face barely poking out. I was only allowing my misty eyes access out of the cosy bundle so that they could miserably watch the news flashing across the television, which also happened to be the only source of light in the room (I was in full-on depression mode) and to be quite frank, the TV was only making me more depressed. But I just couldn't tear my eyes away.

'In recent news, America's biggest power couple, Santana Lopez and Brittany Pierce has been reported to have split mere hours ago…' the stupid lady reporter said with a fake remorseful look on her annoying plastic face. Grrrrr… 'Helicopters caught on tape what appeared to be the couple's final farewell outside of their home…'

It continued to show the helicopter view of Brittany leaving our house with the last box and me coming out after her trying to stop her. The reporter's voice carried on describing the scene to the millions of mindless viewers and adding in little fun facts about our careers and relationship.

I turned it off. I didn't need to see it again. That memory is etched into my mind forever like a tattoo of Tweety Bird you just don't remember getting but will always have stuck on your left butt cheek. It was the worst day of my life…

Flash Back

"Brittany!" I yelled over the sound of some stupid helicopter whilst running after her. I saw her turn around with tears glistening like crystals on her cheeks which caused my own tears to fall harder and faster. I had to stop her, if she left me I don't know what I'd do. "Britt, don't leave. Not now." I said walking up to her as she stayed rooted to the spot.

"Why 'not now', San?" her voice cracking as she tried to put a strong voice on. The box she was holding appeared to be too heavy as she adjusted her hold on it. I shot my hands out to help her hold it, pulling it slightly towards me – it was the only thing stopping her from leaving.

"Not now." I repeated, shaking my head. "Not ever." She began to cry again at this, and my heart broke even more if it was possible. I couldn't stop hurting her, no matter what I did. I knew that I should be selfless and let her leave, she was better off without me, but I'd like to see anyone who could willingly let Brittany Lopez walk out of their lives.

"Please Brittany. I need you. I love you." I pleaded unashamedly.

"No Santana. I can't back down from this again. I can't stay and watch you destroy yourself one drink at a time. And you can't ask me to either. You need help San. And if you don't get it while I'm here, then maybe me leaving will help you realise what you're doing to yourself."

"I'll get help. I promise!" I say, tightening my grip on the box.

"You've said that before Santana. And I still come home to find you passed out in your own vomit! I wish I could say that I understood what it was like for you, so that I could help you get through this. The fact is that it's been a year since those pictures came out, and you've been spiralling downwards ever since. You won't help yourself and you refuse to let me try. I can't watch you do this anymore San. And it's not fair to either of us if I stay." She said, letting go of the box to cup my face, gently wiping away the tears still rolling down.

"Please…"

"Don't San. I love you, but you can't change my mind. Not this time." She leaned over the box and kissed my forehead and nose before backing up a couple of steps. I tightened my hold on the box, hoping that I could keep her here a while longer.

"Hey Britt! We're ready!" Sam, her brother, yelled from the middle of the long driveway, doing his best to avoid looking up at the scene in front of him.

Britt yelled that she'd be down in a minute, her voice cracking with each word, before turning back to face me. She took a step forward to retrieve the box but stopped when she saw me take a step backwards. My admittedly lame plan was to keep backing up until we were inside the house where I could lock her inside with me where we could live forever, eating takeaways that would be posted through the window and no alcohol would be allowed so we could be happy together living in a love hut – or mansion, I corrected thinking about the size of our home. The one she was leaving.

I think Brittany sensed that I wasn't going to give her the box so she just smiled sadly and said, "You can keep that box San. Take care okay? Bye." She whispered before turning to leave.

"Don't say goodbye, it sounds too final." I told her, hoping that she'd turn back one last time so that I could see her magnificent blue eyes and retrieve the oxygen that she kept in them. She did, and I could breathe again.

"This is final, Santana." her voice wavering and scratchy. That voice was still music to my ears, even when she was saying the most heartbreaking things.

I could feel her slipping away and I was scrambling about hopelessly, trying to grip onto whatever was left of us while she gently pried my fingers away. I couldn't find anything to say that would close this distance building between us. Instead I told her the only thing I ever thought about when she looked at me, "Your eyes were the first thing that I fell in love with about you. They really are the sweetest eyes that I've ever seen." I told her, not once looking away from her. I wanted her to know that I meant it. Well, that and the fact that I couldn't look away even if I had wanted to.

She just closed my oxygen supply off by shutting them and taking a deep breath for herself. Before opening them again and almost killing me with the distance I found there. Distance from me. "Goodbye Santana." she said softly before turning again to leave, this time not stopping. Not even when I told her not to say goodbye again.

I saw Sam in the corner of my eye smile sympathetically and nod towards me as Brittany made her way to the car. I would have made more of an acknowledgement than the slight nod I sent him but I couldn't take my eyes off of her – the entire meaning of my life, the only reason that I lived.

She never turned back. Not once. She just sat down in the car and looked straight ahead; nodding at a question Sam must have asked her. I did nothing but stand there, hugging that stupid box that she'd rather leave behind than try and take from me. I watched her face until the car was too far away to distinguish it, and then I watched the honey blonde that was her hair. Until finally, I was stood there looking at an empty space and recognising the likeness it had with my life.

After a while, I sat down on the steps, our steps to our home. I couldn't face going back in there, it was too big to be so empty.

I'm not sure how long I sat there, expecting to see Brittany come back into view, knowing that she wouldn't.

Once the sun had begun to set and I found myself suffocating in the grief I felt I looked down at the box and tried to find the air that Brittany took with her. Opening it, I found nothing but an old stereo system with speakers – that must have been what was heavy – an old sweatshirt and a cuddly, fluffy duck that I gave to Brittany when she was ill. Sir Quacksalot. The completely unoriginal name had made me laugh; along with the absolutely adorable way that Brittany's face had lit up when I'd handed him to her. She told me that she had him with her when she went to sleep every single time that we had to be away from each other due to work.

I pressed him to my face and took the first real breath since she had left and taken my oxygen with her. I was rewarded with a moment of pure bliss as I breathed in everything that was Brittany. It ended soon though when I remembered that it wasn't Brittany's soft, silk skin that met mine, but a fluffy duck whose furry feathery things were tickling my nose.

I put him down into the box, my mind rejecting any thoughts of why she had left him, knowing that she wouldn't be with me tonight, or the night after, or- oh god! I pushed him further down into the box, still making sure he had enough room, Brittany would kill me if anything happened to him.

My name is Santana Lopez. And my life officially sucks… Ass.

Thanks for reading! I haven't written anything in a while so I may be a little rusty. I hope you stick with this story even though the first chapter was slightly depressing. I'm kinda hoping to add a humorous twist to this story and there will be lighthearted chapters too! So tell me what ya think, yeah? Please ;)