When I reach the party, I feel sick, as though a lump is rising in my throat. Everyone is a blur around me; people are moving everywhere as I stumble through the doorway and into the hall. It looks as though no one is the sober driver tonight as everyone has at least one drink in their hands. I see mark out of the corner of my eye and try to dodge round people trying to hide from him, only to stumble and bash my head on the banister of the stairs "looks like you've had too much to drink" a remark fly's my way from a group of girls and I can hear the others sniggering in the background as they pass.

I sit on the stairs clutching my head and a boy comes over. I think I've seen him before, I'm sure were in the same maths class but I can't really remember "have you heard about John 'cause I know you and him are like an item or 'summit" I look at him confused "oh shit you didn't know I just assumed…. well because you look like…. Erm sorry I didn't mean…"

I stare at him blankly for a second trying to link John to someone and then realised he meant four well he meant John, but John is four, oh my life is so complicated! Then I realise the boy is looking at me still expecting an answer "John? Oh John, what about him?"

The boy bit his lip "O god you didn't know, well I suppose you would find out eventually but he's like a terrorist or something! How awesome is that to have a terrorist in OUR SCHOOL!" he looked over towards the kitchen "anyway I've got to go…. Erm grab a beer or something" he then walked away swiftly. I never found out who this boy was, or where he went all I knew at this point was I thought I was going to puke, I began to drag myself up the stairs and once at the top I saw an open window that led onto the roof. I instinctively pushed myself towards it attempting to dodge the teens who were currently playing 'tonsil tennis' and pulling myself into the open air and placing myself onto the roof I begin to process the news and my thoughts, but with the dizziness from the news about four spinning through my mind I'm debating goodbye but maybe goodbye isn't the end, maybe it's just the beginning. And all I know is, four has fucked up, he's fucked up big time.