It'll Be Ok

I don't own Phineas and Ferb. Dan Povenmire and Jeff 'Swampy' Marsh do.

I do, however, own this version of Human!Perry.

Takes place before the morning jog in 'Paint of Many Colours'

Requested by NattyMc

…

Curse Perry the Platypus.

Doofenshmirtz panted as he climbed the stairs (trust the elevator to be out of order today). He had the perfect plan to get his revenge on Roger, and Perry had to ruin it. Why did that monotreme-turned-human have to ruin everything? Stupid Monobrow, telling Perry the Platypus to stop him. There was never a day where things went right for Doofenshmirtz.

Doofenshmirtz bent over, hands on his knees, as he finally reached his floor; gasping for breath. His clothes and body were still covered in paint, though some of it had chipped off on the way there. And it didn't help that his cheek throbbed, as Perry had hit him with a bucket that used to hold the red paint. Doofenshmirtz sighed in irritation and took hold of the doorknob, twisting it and pushing the door open. "Vanessa-" He began to say, but stopped when his eyes opened and he saw what was in front of him. His jaw instantly dropped.

Perry the Platypus-turned-human and Vanessa stood in the middle of the room. Her arms were wrapped around his neck, his around her waist, and their heads were tilted towards each other's.

They were kissing.

Doofenshmirtz's eyes widened as far as they would go. His daughter was kissing his nemesis. And…was Perry wearing one of his dressing gowns? What was going on? "What the-?"

Vanessa's eyes opened, but Perry didn't notice. Vanessa stopped the kiss, turning her head to look at the dumbfounded dad. Perry opened his eyes in confusion. Why did she stop? "What's the matter?"

Vanessa didn't respond. Confused, Perry turned his head to where Vanessa was looking and his eyes widened at seeing Heinz.

Everyone was silent. Doofenshmirtz stared at the couple, jaw open and eyes wide. So many questions swam through his mind. Such as: why was Vanessa kissing Perry the Platypus? Didn't she like that other Perry? The one he'd met outside Charlene's house?

"Wow," Perry said at last. "This is almost as awkward as when I disguised as a dog and you baby talked me."

"V-Vanessa!" Doofenshmirtz stuttered, pointing to Perry. "W-Why're you- I mean-" Suddenly, Daddy Doofenshmirtz went back into action and he frowned. "What're you doing with Perry the Platypus? What's going on here? What happened to the other Perry?"

"Heinz…" Perry said tiredly and removed his fedora, then put it back on. "Same person."

"What?" Doofenshmirtz shrieked. "So…You're not cheating on other Perry with Perry the Platypus…?"

"No, Dad. I'm not." Vanessa replied.

Doofenshmirtz looked at Perry, imagining the one from the night he met his daughter's new boyfriend. He crossed his arms and frowned. "Well, that makes no sense!" He pointed at Perry sternly. "Prove your Perry the Platypus."

Vanessa looked to Perry, who continued to look at Doofenshmirtz. Perry eyes changed, so that his left eye was looking to his left and his right eye looked to, well, his right and his platypus chatter erupted from his mouth.

Vanessa and Heinz stared at him as his eyes refocused. The frown was gone from Doofenshmirtz's, replaced his a shocked expression. Suddenly, he straightened, a hand to his forehead, and he pointed to Perry like he'd grown two heads. "Perry the Platypus! It is you!" He, seemingly, calmed down; smiling. "Which brings me to my first question:" He turned to his daughter. Then, he balled his hands into fists and shut his eyes, screaming, "WHAT'RE YOU DOING WITH PERRY THE PLATYPUS?"

Vanessa rolled her eyes. "Dad-"

"And why is he wearing that?" He continued, gesturing to his bathrobe, which Perry was wearing. "It's mine."

"He was covered in paint, Dad." Vanessa said as though it were obvious. "He took a shower, and your bathrobe was the only thing that fit him."

"And I got paint on her…" Perry muttered.

Only then did Doofenshmirtz realize that his daughter was not wearing her usual black clothes, but a sleeveless, red top and a pair of black jeans. Her hair was damp, so she must've washed it.

Silence fell on them again as Doofenshmirtz tried to think of something to say. Perry clicked his tongue and separated from his girlfriend. "I, uh, I think I'd go…"

"Yeah, so do I." Doofenshmirtz added, hands on his hips. He didn't mean to be so stern but…come on, he'd caught his daughter kissing his nemesis! Surely, that allowed 'Daddy Doofenshmirtz' to come out and be stern!

"Leave you guys to have a…'father-daughter chat'…" Perry walked over to the corner of the living room, where his paint-covered suit was folded neatly, and picked up the bundle. "I'll return this," He said, gesturing to the bathrobe. "The next time I'm here." Without another word, he walked over to the balcony and placed an index finger and thumb to his lips, blowing and letting a loud whistle. Slowly, his Perry-shaped hovercraft hovered up to him. He tossed his bundle of clothes into the seat, then got in himself. The hovercraft flew off.

Vanessa sighed. Great, now she had to face her dad's wrath.

"What was that?" Doofenshmirtz asked, gesturing to the balcony.

"You, scaring off my boyfriend." Vanessa replied, crossing her arms.

"Boyfriend." Doofenshmirtz repeated, almost angrily.

"What is your problem, Dad?" Vanessa asked, irritated. Since when was dating a crime?

"My problem? I don't have a problem." Doofenshmirtz said. "No. I just caught my nemesis and my daughter showing attraction towards each other through lips, so, no. No problem." There was a pause. "Oh, who am I kidding? Of course there's a PROBLEM!"

"What? Can't I date anymore?" Vanessa questioned.

"Of course you can, sweetie! But…Perry the Platypus? You choose to date him?"

"Well, what's wrong with him?"

"He's my nemesis." Doofenshmirtz replied. "Plus he's not even a real person."

"He's as much of a person as you and me, Dad."

"He's a platypus!"

"Not anymore."

Doofenshmirtz sighed in annoyance and ran a hand down his face. His daughter could date, fine. She could come home with some goth guy on her arm. And yet, she chose to stand in the middle of a room and kiss with her father's nemesis. "But…with you and Perry the Platypus…it'd be so…weird." Then he spoke again, this time in a hushed tone; the same way someone would say, 'I see dead people' "He's. My. Nemesis."

"Dad, come on!" Vanessa practically snapped. "You know Perry! He's the good guy!"

"Exactly! He's the good guy! That's why there's the villains and the heroes! So that the villain's daughter doesn't date the hero! It's just weird!" Doofenshmirtz pointed at her. "And don't make me sing that nemesis song I have, cause I still remember the lyrics."

"Dad, he's Perry! Not some random guy off the street! He's the one who always listens to your backstories! Sure, he defeats you at the end of the day, but that's what he does! You said so yourself, he's the hero!"

Doofenshmirtz paused in thought. As much as it hurt him to admit it, she was right. Perry was the hero, and the hero never did anything wrong to his girlfriend. Never hurt her- physically, mentally or emotionally. Not like the villain, who ended up getting a divorce with his wife and having their daughter live with each of them separately.

Heinz sighed. Vanessa was his little girl. When she was little, she had wanted a pet, so he had bought her a puppy (one that had secretly became Agent D at OWCA after Heinz had to take it back to the kennel, as it had peed on Vanessa's favourite dress). When she wanted ballet lessons, he had paid for them. When she had wanted to learn piano, he had paid for a tutor to teach her.

Everything his Vanessa had wanted, she got. Man, he was such a pushover. But the thing she wanted right now, probably more then anything, was Perry the Platypus. As. Her. Boyfriend. But could he do that? Let his little girl go into the arms of his nemesis? Heinz sighed once more. He didn't like it, but he'd allow it.

After all, Perry was the good guy.

Doofenshmirtz let out a sigh, one that truly showed his concern, but it fell upon Vanessa's deaf ears. "Alright…I'm not gonna like it, but…Sure, sweetie, you can date Perry the Platypus…"

Vanessa smiled widely and threw her arms around her father's neck. "Thanks, Dad."

"But don't think this means I'm gonna treat him differently. He's still your boyfriend, which means I can give him glares and ask him about his personal life like any other boyfriend, ok? Oh, and I can sabotage his food whenever- and if ever- he comes around for dinner."

"How, exactly?"

"How else? By putting too much salt!"

Vanessa giggled. Somehow, having her dad sabotage Perry's meal (which also led to the image of Perry and Heinz fighting over the dinner table) seemed amusing to her. Perhaps she was a little evil after all. Vanessa broke the hug and whipped out her phone. "I have to call Perry to tell him!" She jogged off, dialling Perry's number then holding it to her ear. "Perry? Yeah, it's me…No, actually-"

Heinz didn't hear the rest. The sound of Vanessa's bedroom door slamming cut off his ability to hear her. The scientist sighed.

"My little girl is growing up…"

…

Heinz watched from the window as his nemesis and his daughter laid down on the red and white checked blanket in Charlene Doofenshmirtz's backyard. Heinz saddened and pressed his palms to the glass.

Perry was different then Johnny. Somehow, Heinz was more afraid of something going wrong with Perry then something going wrong with Johnny- well, when he and Vanessa were dating. Was it because, if something did go wrong, then something would happen to Heinz and Perry's nemesis-ship? Wouldn't that mean that Heinz would be more angry, more threatening, toward Perry?

Heinz knew, as a father, that his little girl would go through many boyfriends until she found the one perfect man to be with. And he may be the one…, he thought every time she brought a new boy home. And that thought had especially occurred to him when he saw the look in his daughter's eyes, the message she was sending him: Please, let me date Perry.

"Come away from there, Heinz."

Heinz looked over his shoulder and frowned at his ex-wife. "I'm just checking on Vanessa. Nothing wrong with a father wanting to check up on his daughter and her weird boyfriend."

"Perry is not weird. He's a fine, young gentleman, who you could learn a few things from."

Heinz's jaw fell open at that. Him, take 'gentleman lessons' from Perry? Yeah, right. When he stopped trying to take over the Tri-State Area… Heinz turned his attention back to Perry and Vanessa. The only reason he was over at his ex-wife's house was to check on his little girl and his nemesis. He frowned as he watched Perry kiss Vanessa's forehead. But his heart softened when he saw Vanessa scoot closer to Perry, snuggling into his side.

Heinz hadn't even noticed Charlene come over and stand next to him. "Come on, Heinz, she isn't a child. She doesn't need you to watch over her all the time. Leave them alone."

Heinz scoffed, but did not come away from the window.

"Heinz, she's growing up. Perry will protect her." Charlene, surprisingly, put a comforting hand on Heinz's shoulder. "It'll be ok."

"Yeah…" Doofenshmirtz sighed, hiding the blush on his cheeks. "It'll be ok…"

…

"I dunno, Norm." Doofenshmirtz paced the lair, hands behind his back. Norm stood beside his desk, his face as it usually was: fixed into a smile. "After all the boys she's met, after all the options she's been given…She goes for the platypus. Oh, where did we go wrong, Norm! Where?"

"Don't you mean, where you went wrong?" Norm asked, correcting Doofenshmirtz.

Ignoring Norm, an idea struck Doofenshmirtz. "What if…What if they got married? Then Perry the Platypus would be my son-in-law! Then…I could sabotage his stuffing at Thanksgiving!" Just when he began thinking of advantages, he paused. "…What if they had kids?" And the image of little girls with brown hair and brown eyes and little boys with teal hair and blue eyes swept into his mind and his eye twitched.

Suddenly, the door broke into pieces as Perry the Platypus-turned human jumped in; taking up a karate pose.

"Ah, Perry the Platypus. Your timing is…silly. What're you doing here? I'm not doing anything other then talking to Norm!" He wagged a finger at Perry. "Now, don't think that, just because you're my nemesis, it means that you won't get hit by the Get-Revenge-On-Boyfriend-For-Hurting-Vanessa-Inator if something goes wrong. I'm still gonna be evil and-"

"Yeah," Perry interrupted. "Can we make this quick? I promised a couple of people that I'd help them build one of their projects today, and I don't wanna disappoint them."

"Oh, a 'couple of people'? Already cheating on Vanessa, huh?" Doofenshmirtz crossed his arms.

"…Doof, they're a couple of boys who like to build things. I'd hardly count that as cheating.

Doofenshmirtz uncrossed one arm. "That's Doctor Doof to you. And, as I was saying before you interrupted, I'm still gonna be evil and have schemes, regardless of you having affection for my daughter."

"Wouldn't have it any other way, Doof. Oh, and, by the way, here's your bathrobe back." He reached into his coat and brought out Heinz's bathrobe, folded neatly and wrapped in plastic. He tossed it to Doofenshmirtz, who caught it in both hands.

Doofenshmirtz tore open the plastic and smelled. "Ah," He sighed. "Smells like lemons."

"You're lucky Carl was doing the laundry last night." was the last thing Perry said before running at Heinz.

"Wait! I said I wasn't up to anything to-" Heinz tried, but Perry kicked him around the face.

Nope. Nothing changed.

It'll be ok…

…

Author's note:

I still take requests for Human!PerryxVanessa one-shots, so don't be shy!

I truly tried to make this humorous…but it didn't come out that way… I even fear I made them OOC…

Originally, I was gonna have it so Doof wouldn't let Vanessa see Perry, and she got mad at him, then Perry goes to her window to see her and they have a little date, then Perry returns her to her room, only to find Doof there and they have this big speech thing. But that was just too cliché, even for the Phineas and Ferb fandom.

That thing Perry said about 'disguising as a dog and Heinz baby talking him' was a reference to the episode 'Got Game?'. That was probably my favourite Perry disguise, other then the bear costume (from 'Skiddley Whiffers') and fake glasses (from 'Flop Starz').

And, for people who're wondering when I'll update my other stories, I'm saying this and only this: As soon as I can. I write so much Nightmare Before Christmas and Corpse Bride that I felt the need to write something else. Plus, I've got writer's block on pretty much all of those stories (yes, I'm dying inside too, my loyal fans). So, I'm afraid you'll have to wait. Ok? Ok.

Hope you guys liked this.