"I always felt like it was my fault, like I was – am – inadequate"

Hotch looked up from the bag he was packing. They had just finished a case in Vegas, with gamblers being abducted from outside casinos by a fake taxi. The Unsub turned out to be a middle aged man whose parents had gambled all their money away when he was younger, and whose wife had just left him for someone who had won big in a casino.

He had expected that being in Vegas would bring something out in his lover, but had decided not to press the matter. That always made Spencer close off. Spencer was sat on the edge of the bed, head in his hands, and jumped when Aaron put an arm around him. When he looked up, his face was slightly pained and he looked tired.

Exhausted.

Aaron kissed the top of his head, "Spencer, you are in no way inadequate. You're kind, compassionate, loving, highly intelligent, and Jack loves you. I love you." He took one of Spencer's hands.

"I love you too. It's just that, when my dad... when he left us, I always blamed myself. If I was the child he wanted, why would he abandon us like that?" He looked at Aaron as if expecting an answer, but then looked away and shook his head. "I mean, I know now that it was because he couldn't cope, but you can't just make the feeling go away. I can't let go of those thoughts, and how I felt."

Aaron stayed silent but comfortingly stroked Spencer's hand. He knew Spencer needed to get this out and though it was best to offer silent support until his lover had finished.

"Then when I didn't understand what was wrong with Mom I always thought that she was like that because of me. During her episodes she would sometimes tell me that everything was my fault, I wasn't good enough or smart enough to be her son..." He looked at Aaron once again and squeezed his hand. "It's not her fault though, I don't blame her." He snuggled closer to his lover, and Aaron thought that their relationship being kept a secret probably didn't do a great job of reassuring Spencer. His subconscious probably thought that it was because of Spencer not being worthy of Aaron or something equally ridiculous.

Spencer continued, "The worst was the kids at school. I didn't even have to infer from them that there was something wrong with me – they told me to my face."

"Spence, just because you're different doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with you. You're brilliant, amazing. Kids are cruel, but think about how successful you are, and how much you know at such a young age. I'm sure none of them have done as well as you." Aaron gently moved Spencer's head until they were looking at each other and placed a kiss on his lover's mouth. "I love you."

"I love you too. And thank you. Nobody has ever reassured me like this before."

Aaron often found it upsetting that Spencer had never had a support system. "You know that the only reason our relationship is secret is because of work, right? There's no way I could ever think you are inadequate." Spencer nodded against him.

The two lovers sat in silence for a few moments, Spencer taking comfort and reassurance from Aaron. The elder of the pair placed gentle kisses on his younger lover's hair, stroking his arm comfortingly. When it became evident that Spencer was no longer going to talk, Aaron started again. "I love you so much, Spencer. I know that you aren't used to having this kind of support, but if you are ever feeling insecure or inadequate, please talk to me. I want to do whatever I can to reassure you. You deserve to be confident and happy."

Spencer turned and shifted so that he was straddling Aaron's legs which were over the side of the bed. He put his knees either side of Aaron on the mattress and leaned in so that their foreheads were touching. Aaron looked up into his lovers eyes, and Spencer smiled at him. "I am happy. You've made me happier than I ever thought I would be." He leaned in and kissed Aaron, opening his mouth to allow his lover entry.

Aaron let out a small moan at Spencer's kiss, and put his hands on the other man's back. Through the bliss, he realised that his lover had gained much confidence since their first meeting – even since the beginning of their relationship. Spencer would have never dreamed of initiating a kiss when they had first started seeing each other, but once he realised that Aaron would not reject him he began gaining self-assurance and courage. Aaron was proud of him.

As if showcasing this new-found confidence, Spencer pushed him back so that they were lying on the bed. Aaron moved them further up the bed so that they weren't hanging over the edge. They led there on their sides for a while, languidly making out and touching each other. Almost without noticing, they removed their clothes until they were left only in their underwear. Aaron's hand rested slightly below the elastic of his lover's briefs whilst his thumb rubbed circles over the small indents by Spencer's hips, and Spencer ran his hands over the older man's chest. Manoeuvring them so that he was leaning over the genius, Aaron slid the briefs down the long legs and then placed kisses and licks over Spencer's torso, causing the young man to squirm and moan "Aarrroooon" so erotically that the older man could feel his cock throb with arousal.

Giving Spencer a peck on the lips, he reached over the side of the bed to get the condoms and lubricant from his bag, glad that they were flying back the next morning and that he hadn't fully packed. He resumed their heated open-mouthed kissing while pouring lubricant onto his fingers and reaching down to begin preparing his lover. He circled a finger around Spencer's hole, and played with the opening, gently pushing the finger in when Spencer sought for more contact.

Spencer loved the feeling of being prepared by his lover, and moaned into the kiss when Aaron added another finger. He treasured the gentleness that his lover treated him with, and savoured every touch, every intimate experience they shared. When a third finger was added, he knew that he was ready. "Aaron, please, I'm ready. I want you."

The older man grabbed one of the condoms and rolled it over his hard shaft, then coated it with lube and positioned himself at his lovers' entrance. Spencer moaning loudly and calling his name told him to begin, and he pushed inside. He started slowly thrusting inside Spencer, reaching deeper and deeper each time, until he began grazing his lovers' prostate. The moaning and panting this elicited from Spencer spurred him on, his thrusts quickening and hitting the younger man's prostate every time.

Spencer loved the way Aaron made him feel. He had not had much experience sexually, but – contrary to popular (or Morgan's) belief – he did have some. But Aaron was the best partner by far. The older man's thrusts pushed him over the edge and Spencer came, screaming his lover's name. This was enough to finish Aaron off, and he bit gently into the smooth skin of Spencer's shoulder to mask his calling out.

The couple recovered their breathing, looking into each other's' eyes. Once sufficiently under control, Aaron withdrew from Spencer's sated body and disposed of the soiled condom. Spencer cleaned himself off with some tissues from the bedside table, and then reclined on the bed, pulling the covers over himself slightly to protect from the cold.

"Aaron, come and sleep," he said in a whiny way that made his lover chuckle, "We can finish packing in the morning. There isn't much left to do."

He looked over at Spencer on the bed and paused, deciding that Spencer was right. He settled under the covers with him, spooning the younger man and wrapping his arms round the lean waist. Spencer sighed contentedly and snuggled back against him, relaxing completely.

"Love you," Spencer murmured sleepily. Aaron's warm and solid chest made him feel safe, and feeling the other man's breath on his neck gave him a warm and comforted feeling that he had only ever achieved with Aaron. His worries and insecurities from earlier in the evening – and most of his life – had melted away, and he thought that maybe now he could put them behind him completely.

Aaron kissed the back of his head.

"Mm, you too. Sleep, my love."