Hello everyone. This is my first time writing a fanfic and my first time writing femslash. I absolutely love the Rosalie and Bella paring, so I decided to give it a try with this one-shot.
Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and all the characters.
Reviews and criticism is welcomed and appreciated. I hope you all enjoy the story :)
*All thoughts are in Italics
Summary: Rosalie is right. Why fight it? You know she is going to win this battle anyway. You might as well give in. All my thoughts of guilt, shame and betrayal go out the window and I give in to temptation.
Bella's POV
"Love, what's taking you so long?" Edward yelled from downstairs.
"I'm sorry. I can't decide what to wear. Just give me five more minutes." I yelled back. Tonight Edward and I were going over to Emmett and Rosalie's for dinner to celebrate Emmett's big promotion. If it was any other dinner I could easily pick out what I was going to wear. But tonight, Rosalie was going to be there, so I had to look my best.
First, I'll start with the underwear. Wait, she is not going to see me in my underwear! Oh who am I kidding, I will probably beg her to rip off my clothes. How the hell does she do that? I am not even close to her and she has already got me thinking about her screwing me.
I sigh. I take out my black lace bra and black lace panties and put them on.
Now what dress should I wear? Should I wear my red dress that shows a lot of cleavage? No, that dress makes me seem too slutty and desperate. Maybe I can wear that purple dress with my black belt. Wait no, that dress is too short for an occasion like this. Oh I can wear that black dress my mother bought me. No no, Alice said that makes me look like a nun.
"Bella, honey, we have to go! You know traffic on the road is going to be terrible." Edward yelled up the stairs.
Shit Bella just pick something! I scolded myself. Why are you so indecisive?
I settled on the too short purple dress with the wide black belt. I slip on my lace black pumps and put on my black heart necklace. I quickly put on my make up and put my already curled hair into a side ponytail that flows over my left shoulder. I grab my purse and coat then run down the stairs. I see Edward at the bottom of the stairs dressed in black slacks and a long sleeved light blue dress shirt accentuated with a dark blue tie. He looks slightly worried and annoyed.
"I'm ready." I say, getting his attention. He turns around, looks at me and smiles. He walks over to me and pulls me in by the waist for a kiss on the lips.
"You look beautiful love." He says softly. I smile at him and he kisses me on the forehead. A pang of guilt shoots through me.
"I am going to bring the car around." He says smiling as he lets go of my waist.
"Okay" I say, trying to keep my voice steady.
Here he is being the perfect husband and I am fucking his married sister! Fuck! He can't find out. I don't know what I would do if I lost him.
Edward and I have been married for about two years now. We had the high school sweetheart romance. We met in high school and fell madly in love and dated all through college. After a few more years of dating, he popped the question and I did not hesitate to say yes.
He was the one thing I was sure of. I didn't have to think twice about marrying him. I am positive that loves me. He has told me many times that he does. I do care about him deeply, but I am starting to doubt my love for him. Ever since Rosalie I… Bella stop! It's not actual cheating. It is just sex. There is nothing romantic about it.
The vibration of my phone brought me out of my stupor. It was a text from Alice.
Don't forget to bring the cake Bells! I know you have been very distracted lately ;) – Alice
I smile and roll my eyes. Of course Alice has to make sure everyone is on top of things. She planned long and hard for this party and she wants everything to be perfect. I quickly text her back.
I am on it :)
I shake my head and go to the kitchen to get the cake.
I think Alice knows that Rosalie and are screwing around. Look at what she sent in the text. She said I have been "very distracted lately". Hell, she practically almost caught us fucking. If it wasn't for Rosalie's hawk-like hearing, she would have caught us tearing off each other's clothes. But Alice hasn't said anything about it and that is very unusual for her. Once Alice knows a secret it takes about two seconds for everyone in the contact list of her phone to know too. For whatever reason, she is keeping our affair undisclosed.
I suddenly got an uneasy feeling and gripped the kitchen counter. My face screws up into a look of horror.
Shit! Is Alice using this information to black mail Rosalie? I know they had a lot of problems in the past, but was the dissonance in-between them that intense? Maybe she is using this to black mail me? Why the hell would she do that? I thought we were good friends. Maybe she is using this to try to get back at me for cheating on Edward. They are so close and she would defend and protect her brother at any cost.
My stomach started to feel queasy and I sat down on a kitchen stool.
Stop jumping to conclusions Bella! Maybe Alice has no clue about what Rose and I are doing. You are just having an over active imagination. Calm down! Edward must be wondering why you are taking so long.
I sigh and I coax myself to get up. I pick up the homemade cake and hurry out the door. I put the cake in the back seat of the car and jump in the front seat.
"Honey, what took you so long?" he asks with a look of concern on his face. I put on my seat belt and look over at him.
"I was just putting some finishing touches on the cake." I lie, my voice slightly elevated.
Nice job Bella! You know your voice always gets higher when you lie. He is obviously going to know you are not telling the truth. It's a wonder he hasn't already found out that you are screwing someone else.
He looks at me slightly suspicious, but does not push the issue any further. He starts the car and drives off.
Edward and I are standing at the door waiting for someone to answer it. I am holding the cake in one hand and holding Edward's hand with the other. I start to shiver, not from lack of warmth, but from anticipation.
God I can't wait to see her. It has been so long since we had any time together. Mmmm I wonder what she is wearing. Whatever it is I bet she looks sexy as hell in it. I hope she wears those red fuck-me pumps.
I bite my lip wantonly and my lower lips start to quiver. I almost forget I am still holding my husband's hand. I am shocked into sobering up by the opening of the door. We are greeted by a very excited Emmett.
"Edward! Bella!" he exclaims. He hugs us both tightly and smiles widely.
"Congrats Em." Edward says as he pats him on the back with a smile.
"Thanks man." He says appreciatively. "It has been forever since the both of you have been here. Are you guys hiding from us?" he asks playfully. Edward and I roll our eyes and I laugh.
"You know that the hospital always keeps me busy." Edward says.
"Things are starting to pick up at the bakery." I add.
"I am not surprised." Emmet says. "You always know how to throw down when it comes to the sweets." he winks at me. I blush and look down. When I look up at him, I feel a rush of guilt come over me.
Look at him! He looks so genuine and charming. And I am over here, fucking his wife! God I love Emmett so much. He is like a brother to me and he has always been there when I needed him.. He always makes me laugh when I feel down. He always defends me. He practically worships the ground Rosalie walks on, and I am stealing a little part of her from him. Now I am constantly stabbing him in the back, betraying him. He doesn't deserve it.
I cover up the overwhelming feeling of guilt with fake smile.
"Well I made your cake especially perfect for you big bro." I say, trying to make my words sound playful.
"Speaking of cake…"he says mischievously. I have no time to react when he suddenly grabs the cake and starts running to the kitchen.
"Hey! You better put that cake in the kitchen where it belongs!" I yell at him jokingly as he hurries off .
"No promises Bells!" he yells back gleefully. I shake my head and look around. I notice that Edward put his coat on the coat rack and is now speaking to Jasper, Eric and Mike by the fire place. I hang my coat on the coat rack then head off to find Alice. I walk into the living room and find Angela instead. She is standing around texting on her phone. I walk up to her.
"Hey Ange." I say as I touch her shoulder.
"Bella!" she exclaims as she turns around. "Oh my gosh! It is so good to see you." She says as she pulls me into a hug. She pulls back and flashes a smile.
"You look amazing!" she says excitedly. I smile.
I should hang out with Angela more often. She is such a good friend. She is so sweet and kind. I understand why Eric fell in love with her. Wait, maybe that's not such a good idea. What would she think of me if she knew what I was doing?
The feeling of guilt seeped back into my body. I realize Angela just gave me a compliment.
"Thank you. You look amazing too." I say quickly with a fake smile.
"Oh please" she says and shakes her head. "This is just something I threw on." she says nonchalantly. We chat good-naturedly for minutes. Finally Alice appears and smiles at the both of us.
"Hey you two!" Alice practically squeals as she kisses us both on the cheek.
"Hey Alice." I say and smile at her.
"Hey Alice. You look wonderful as usual. Always the fashionista." Angela says with admiration.
"Thanks Angela." Alice says politely. She then turns to me.
"Bella, your cake looks beautiful. Rose said she was worried you would make it too girly." She says amused. My heart stops at the mention of her name. I turn my head slightly away and avoid Alice's burning gaze. I cover up my hesitation with a fake smile and look back at her. Her eyes never left my face. When I look at her, she still wears an amused expression, but I can see the accusatory look in her light green orbs. Alice takes her heavy gaze off me and starts speaking to Angela animatedly. Grateful the attention was off me; I turn my body slightly away from them and take a small quiet breath.
Shit she knows something! But what exactly does she know? Some small minuscule detail or the whole story? Did Rosalie tell her? That doesn't make any sense Bella! Why the fuck would she do that? Ugh, I am thinking to hard about this. I need to relax.
Angela and Alice look immersed in conversation, so I slip away to find Edward in an attempt to distract myself from my apprehension. I exit the living room and decide to look for him in the dining room. As I round the corner, I stop and my breath is caught in my throat. Edward is talking to Emmet, who is standing directly across from him. Next to Emmett, holding his hand is the star of my sexual fantasies, Rosalie. My vision instantly trails down her frame. Her gorgeous, wavy, honey blond hair flows perfectly past her shoulders to her bust line. It shines in a beautiful contrast with her porcelain doll skin and her striking blue eyes. She is wearing a short, simple, elegant black dress that closely hugs her curvy figure and accentuates her full-sized breasts. Her long, toned, smooth legs lead to a pair of bright, red pumps. The longer I started, the wetter my underwear became. After a few moments, Emmett notices my presence and my concentration on her is broken.
"Bells, you okay? You look a little frazzled." He asks amused. Edward quickly comes to my side and takes my hand.
"Sweetheart is everything alright?" he asks, his voice laced with concern. I glance at him and then take another look at Rosalie. She is staring directly at me and her supple lips are curled into a cocky smirk. I turn my gaze away from her and blush.
God, it is so hard to control my emotions around her. Get it together Bella! You are acting like some love-sick teenage boy who has never seen a fuck hot girl before. She is so amazingly beautiful. Why the hell would she want to fuck me?
I turn my attention to Edward and his face is full of worry. Another wave of guilt washes over me. I conceal my jumbled mess of emotions with another fake smile.
"I'm fine." I say with forced happiness. I kiss Edward on the lips to try to convince him even further. He gives me another concerned look, but does not say anything more. Alice suddenly appears and interrupts our exchange.
"Come on everyone. Dinner is ready." She says smiling. When her gaze lands on Rosalie her smile falters and fails to reach her eyes. Alice suddenly turns away and head to the dining room.
What is that all about?
Emmett eagerly follows her. Edward kisses my forehead, and then follows Emmett. As Edward passes Rosalie, she starts to follow him. Then she turns around with a smoldering gaze that pierces right through me. In reaction, my eyes go wide and my center gives a twitch. She gives a short laugh then smirks again. Her eyes trace my body and she bites her lip. My heart beat races and my core begins to throb. She gives me one more look in the eyes then winks. She then turns around and saunters off to the dining room. I back up against the wall, put my weight on it, and sigh.
Oh boy. This is going to be a long evening.
By the time dinner is over, I am a frustrated, horny mess. With every glance Rosalie gave me during dinner, I became more and more turned on. I had to keep covering up my aroused state with more fake smiles and false interest in conversation. Thankfully, dinner is now over and everyone is dispersed around the house, entertaining themselves in conversation with one another. I am currently standing next to Edward; listening to him and Mike go on and on about the wonders of modern medicine. I glance around the room and spot Rosalie talking to Alice with a sour expression on her face. It looks like they are having an argument. She looks away from Alice in anger. She looks all around the room and then spots me. She leaves Alice without saying anything and starts walking in our direction. I look away so she does not see the look of desperate want on my face.
"Be careful you two. You might bore poor Bella to death." She says sarcastically as she joins our little circle. Edward glares at her while Mike just shakes his head with a small smile.
"Mom gave me some design ideas for the house she is working on and she asked me to take a look at them. I think I need a second opinion." When I don't hear anybody answer, I look at Rosalie and she is looking at me expectantly.
"You want me to look at them?" I asked genuinely surprised.
"Well I wouldn't want these two idiots to do it." She says rolling her eyes. I give a small smile, while Edward continues to glare at her and Mike joins in.
"Yeah, sure. I can take a look at them." I say. She turns around and starts to leave the circle. I turn to Edward, give him a small smile, and kiss him on the cheek quickly so I can catch up to Rosalie. I follow her through the crowd of people and up the stairs. As we are traveling up the stairs, I cannot help but notice her round behind. I lick my lips and pussy starts to ache with need. She leads me all the way to her and Emmett's bed room. After I enter, she closes the door behind us and leans against it, watching me.
"So where are the designs?" I ask nervously. She shakes her head then smiles. She saunters over to me slowly. With every click of her heel, my sense of want, desperation, and anticipation grows. She finally reaches me and trails her index finger between the crevice of my cleavage.
"Now Bella," she says seductively. "Can you honestly tell me you believed I invited you up here to look at some designs." she says, now tracing the patterns of my breasts. I cannot formulate coherent words, because I am lost in the feeling of her soft hand touching me. She brings her face to my neck, and I can feel her sweet breath blowing against it. I shiver at the sensation. She brushes her nose against my neck and then begins to place slow, soft kisses against it. She brings her hands to my sides and begins to teasingly brush her fingers against them. I sigh, close my eyes and tilt my head back, enjoying the wonderful sensation. She then brings one of her hands in between my legs, under my dress, and starts to rub my center over the thin cloth of my underwear. My eyes open at the overwhelming sensation and my eyes catch a quick glance of a picture of Emmett on the dresser, across the room. My body stiffens and I suddenly remember why I am here.
Shit Emmett! I am at his big promotion party. Almost everyone I know is downstairs, including Edward. We can't do this. Not here. Not Now.
"Rose, we can't do this." I whisper softly. She stops the devouring of my neck and lifts her head to look up at me. I look at her pleadingly, hoping she will see reason. She shakes her head and continues to rub my clothed lower lips. She brings her face so close to mine that the tips of our noses are almost touching. Her strawberry smelling breath covers my face and I can feel my resolve start to break.
"You worry too much." She whispers back. She slowly kisses the corner of my mouth and trails her lips to my earlobe. She gives it a slow lick, then brings it into her mouth and sucks on it. She then brings her lips to my ear.
"Relax." she purrs and my body shivers at the command. She then brings her lips back to mine and teasingly licks my bottom lip. I try to think of another reason for us to stop. It takes me a while because her incredible touch slows down my thought process considerably. My brain finally comes up with the idea to mention our significant others. Guilt overrides my body and I try to convince her again.
"Rose, what about Edward and Emmett?" I whisper against her mouth. She stops her ministrations for a while and just breathes against my face. I think she might stop. She then looks into my eyes.
"What they don't know won't hurt them." she whispers against my face. Her hand that has been placed between my legs then moves my underwear out of the way and starts to rub my clit. My legs weaken and my hip bucks against her hand. I let out a small moan. She kisses me again, this time with more force and my resolve starts to break even more.
Rosalie is right. Why fight it? You know she is going to win this battle anyway. You might as well give in.
All my thoughts of guilt, shame and betrayal go out the window and I give in to temptation. This time when she kisses me, I kiss her back with the same amount of fervor. I bring my arms around her neck and bring her closer to me. She brings both her hands to my hips and she brings us as close together as we can possibly get. We continue to kiss until the both of us are out of breath. Rosalie breaks out lip-lock and looks at me with a sexy smirk.
"You are wearing too much clothing." she says, her tone low and alluring. She traces her hands down to the hem of my dress then begins to slowly lift it off me. She draws her fingertips along my body as she removes it. Once she has it off, she throws my dress on the floor next to the bed and stares at me with a predatory look in her eyes.
"You are so fucking sexy. Do you know that?" she asks me as she starts to rub my pussy. I moan and trace my hands all over her back. I kiss her again and then look at her.
"If I have to take my dress off, so do you." I say teasingly. She looks at me with a mischievous smile. She pulls away from me and takes a few steps back. She starts to rub her hands all over her body and sway sexily from side to side. I bite my lip and I feel my arousal start to drip from my center. Her hands drift to the bottom of her dress and inch my inch she reveals her amazing body, all while still swaying her hips. Her dress finally comes off and she throws it on top of mine. She is wearing a bright red lace bra and a red thong. She walks over to me and takes my bottom lip into her mouth and bites it hard. I moan from the pain and the pleasure of her action. She starts kissing me again and starts walking us over to the bed without breaking contact. She throws me onto the bed near the head board and every so slowly crawls on top of me. She settles herself in-between my legs. She runs her face all over my bra then buries her head between my breasts. She then brings her head up and bites one of my nipples through the lace fabric of my bra. I suppress a scream.
"You like that?" she asks suggestively as she massages my breasts. I moan and start to rub my legs together to decrease the ache of my arousal. When I don't give her an answer, she forces my legs apart and pinches my nipple hard. The sound that comes out of my mouth is a cross between a scream and a whine.
"I said do you like that?" she says with more force while adding more pressure to my nipple.
"Yessssss." I hiss and I throw my head back. She smiles in satisfaction. She continues to pinch my nipples until they are hard under her hands. She then reaches behind me and bites my neck while she takes off my bra. She starts assaulting my bare breasts and sucks on them like a newborn baby. I moan loudly and my eyes shut as I arch my back. She alternates her actions by teasingly circling her talented tongue around each nipple and biting them. She stops suddenly and I whimper at the loss of contact. She lifts herself from my breasts and starts to trace the outline of my body with the very top of her finger tips. I feel like I am about to burst from my level of sexual arousal.
"Rose?" I whisper, hoping she will start touching me where I need it the most.
"Hm"? she says back, distracted and entranced by my body.
"Rose please." I whisper with a hint of desperation. She stops what she is doing and looks at with a mischievous glint in her eye. She brings her body against mine and aims her head towards the right side of my ear.
"Please what?" she whispers back, her breath tickling and teasing me. "Tell me what you want Bella." She practically purrs into my ear. My breathing starts to pick up.
Fuck, she is going to make me beg! I never beg for anything! Fuck it. I will do it if I have to. Anything for her to touch me.
"Touch me." I beg in whisper with need as I buck my hips in her direction. I hear her moan at the tone of my voice. She brings her face against mine as our heavy breaths meld together.
"Where Bella?" she whisper as she urges me on. "Where do you want me to touch you?" she murmurs against my lips. I bring her hand that is currently running against my side to my aching pussy.
"Here." I say wantonly as I push my core up against her hand. She moans in satisfaction and pressed her palm against my pussy with force. I moan and my hips involuntarily buck. She removes herself from in-between my legs and sits on her knees next to me.
"Take that off." she orders me from her new position as she removes all the fabric from her body. I quickly comply and slip my underwear off but keep my legs closed to tease her. I hear her give a deep growl and climb on top of me. She forces my leg open and smacks my pussy with the palms of her hand. I let out a short shout of pleasure.
Oh god! I love it when she is rough with me! It is not like sex with Edward. She makes it tantalizing and exciting and oh so pleasurable.
I am pulled out of my thoughts by her lightly blowing on my pussy. I bite my lip and lift my hips in her direction, letting her know that I want her to continue. She starts to slowly massage my clit and tease the hole of my pussy.
"Oh fuck." I whisper and I turn my head to the side. She lets out another sexy moan then licks her lips.
"Do you want me to make you cum Bella?" she asks low, sensual tone as she continues her actions.
"Yes Rose." I say desperately. "Please. Please make me cum." I beg her. She suddenly pushes two fingers inside of me and I gasp in shock and pleasure. She starts to ram her fingers into me roughly and rub my clit vigorously. I moan an incoherent string of curses and grab on to the sheets to steady myself.
"Do you like this Bella? Do you like it when I shove my fingers in side of you?" she asks with more volume so she can be heard over my loud moaning.
"Yes! Fuck yes! Fuck me! Fuck me!"I holler out desperately with wild abandon. Her movements never cease and she adds a third finger. I gasp with short breaths and my eyes open in surprise. This gives me an opportunity to look at her. Her luscious blond locks and her breasts shake with the force of the movement of her arms. In her eyes I can see lust with a hint of drive and determination. As if she bent on making me cum. This thought brings me closer to the edge and I feel my stomach start to tighten.
"Oh fuck Rose! I'm so close! God Rose I am close!" I cry out loudly. She rubs my clit and pushes her fingers inside me even faster. She then brings her head to the side of my face.
"Cum for me." she whispers in a command against my ear. Her words bring me over the threshold of ecstasy and I scream out her name loudly. My body is shaking from the powerful force of the orgasm and my breathing is jagged. Rosalie continues rub and fuck me until I am through with my release. My orgasm seems to last an eternity. When I finally recover, I look at her. Her hair covers the side of her face and she looks down at me with an expression, lust and satisfaction. I think I also spotted a hint of love, but I brush it off as my vision being blurred during the orgasm.
She looks angelic. God she makes me feel so amazing. What I would give to see her cum. To hear her scream my name.
I get a sudden burst of confidence and decide I will try to achieve just that. I flip us over so that I am now on top of her. She looks at me, surprised I am taking control. I freeze and recoil, afraid that my action may make her mad and upset. She then flashes me a sexy smirk and summons me to her with her index finger. I give a small smile, and crawl on top of her. I take a moment to appreciate her beautiful, modelesque body. I trail my hands from her neck, all the way down to her body, admiring her curvaceous frame. Then I start to worship her body with my kisses, making sure I kiss every inch of skin she possesses. She moans at my actions and bucks her hips against my body impatiently. I lift myself up to look at her, her eyes burning with desire and need. I sit on top of her and begin to rub her pussy lightly, and she moans at my touch.
I wonder what she tastes like. I bet she tastes sweet. Such a beautiful creature would have to produce sweet ambrosia.
I end my curiosity by bring my mouth in-between her legs and tasting the nectar of her honey pot. She moans in pleasure and in my peripheral vision I can see her grabbing the sheets. I lick her clit then circle my tongue around it.
"Oh yes Bella! Just like that!" she moans urging me on. I continue my current action, pleased that I am making her feel good. Her moans of pleasure make my confidence grow and I stick a finger inside of her. She gasps and moves her hips so that she can feel friction from the finger. I start to move my finger in and out of her and suck on her clit.
"Yes! Fuck!"she shouts as she throws her head back and closes her eyes. As I continue to pleasure her, I feel wetness seep down my leg. I ignore my own arousal and focus on bringing her to the edge. She is now grinding her hips into my hand and moaning noisily. She is holding my head down between her legs and pulling my hair. I feel her legs start to shake.
She doesn't have to hold my head there, I have no intention of moving. Mmmm she sounds so fucking sexy when she moans. Everything about her just turns me on so much. God I am not even getting fucked and I feel like I am going to cum all over again.
I am pulled out of my thoughts by the tugging of my hair and I am greeted with the sounds of her orgasm.
"Oh God! Oh Fuck! Yes! Yes! Bella ! Yessssssss!" she screams as she reaches her high. I rub her pussy slowly until she is stops shaking. I bring my fingers up to my mouth and suck on them, reveling in the taste of her sweet juices. I look at her and she is laying back on the bed, a look of contentment on her face. I smile and climb on top of her and kiss her passionately. She kisses back with a smile.
"I love you." I say against her mouth without thinking. She leans back from my face and looks at me with pain in her eyes. She quickly covers up what she is feeling with a mask of confidence.
Shit I shouldn't have said that. Why do I have to go and ruin everything?
She sighs and removes herself from underneath me. She gets up from the bed and starts to walk around the room. I sit up and look at her, desperately trying to figure out what she is really thinking. She starts to redress herself.
"Bella, I love you too. I love you like a sister-in-law should. You should know that what we do is just sex. Nothing more." she says with added force while she fixes her dress so it looks appropriate. I feel my heart break and I fight the urge to cry.
Fuck. She doesn't love me. Why did I ever tell her that? We had an amazing experience together and I had to ruin it with my emotional shit.
When she is fully dressed, she looks at me and stiffens. She seems to be taking in my distraught face. Her face crosses through so many emotions I can't comprehend them. It looks like she is fighting herself on what to do. She starts to walk towards me. I feel my heart swell.
Maybe she is going to comfort me. Maybe she was lying. Maybe she really does love me and is afraid to admit it.
To my disappointment, she takes my clothing and throws them on the bed next to me.
"Hurry up and get dressed. Everyone will be wondering where we are." she says in a low, harsh tone and she walks out the room without a second glance at me. Once I hear the door close, I cannot help the sob that escapes my lips. I suddenly feel cheap. Like a piece of trash that was just thrown away because it was not needed or wanted. I start to let the tears flow freely as I dress myself. I slowly make my way to the bathroom and look at myself in the mirror. I see my hair is disheveled and my eyes are red and puffy from crying.
You look like shit. God, you are so fucking weak.
I huff in agreement with myself. I then realize how physically weak I feel and my shoulders slump.
I shouldn't have let my emotions get involved. It is just sex. It is just sex. It is just sex! Nothing more. Nothing less.
I repeat my last few thoughts like a mantra in my head until I gain the energy to move. I wash my face to get rid of the evidence of my emotional breakdown. I take a few deep breaths and will myself to stop crying. When I have finally composed myself, I exit the bathroom and head down stairs. As I descend the stairs I see the party is beginning to come to a close. People are saying their goodbyes and leaving with the various groups they came with. When I reach the bottom of the stairs, I seek out Rosalie. She glued to Emmett's side, talking to Jasper as if nothing happened. A twinge of pain shoots through me and I take a deep breath to prevent myself from crying again. To distract myself, I go find Edward. I ignore the guilt that comes over me as a walk. When I find him, he is talking Alice over by the front door.
"Hey." I say with a fake smile. I give him a kiss on the cheek and smile up at him.
"You two took an awfully long time up there." he notes. I panic, wracking my brain to think of a plausible answer.
"We kind of got off topic." I said, bending the truth. "Ya know. Girl stuff." I say, trying to be nonchalant. He shakes his head then smiles at me.
"Women." he mutters and Alice playfully slaps his chest. I had forgotten Alice was there. A feeling of nervousness starts to grow within me.
"Honey, I am going to go say goodbye to Eric and Mike. Okay?" Edward tells me as he massages my left shoulder.
"Okay." I reply, trying to make my voice sound sweet and adoring. He walks away and this leaves me and Alice. My gaze follows him and when I look to her, she has a knowing look on her face with a glint of anger in her eyes. I squirm under her gaze and feel uneasy. This Alice is not the Alice I am used to. This new Alice is much more frightening. She slowly walks up to my right side and gives me a smirk.
"Hope you and Rosalie had a nice time." she whispers in my ear. She gives me one more look and walks away. Terror shoots through me instantly. I have no doubt that she knows about our dirty deed. Alice is good at many things but there is one thing Alice is impeccable at: blackmailing people who are unjust. I have seen this happen to too many of Alice's ex-friends to not know this fact. I start to fear that Rosalie and I are her latest victims. My breathing starts to pick up and I look around the room frantically for Edward.
I can't stay here anymore. Too many people. Too many emotions. Too many bad things that can happen.
I find him in the dining room speaking to Eric and Mike. Not wanting to be rude, I wait till they finish their goodbyes but I grab him before he can speak to anyone else.
"Edward, sweetie, let's go now." I say in a slightly whiney voice as I tug him towards the door.
"But I didn't say good bye to Emmet yet love." he replies with a confused look on his face while he hands me my coat.
"Emmett won't feel bad if you don't say goodbye. He doesn't get mad over things like that. Plus you will see him in a few days anyway. You two are going to watch the game remember?" I say, convincing him. He absorbs what I said and has a thoughtful look on his face. After a moment, he nods his head and gives a small smile.
"I guess you're right. We can go now. We should get you to bed anyways. You look a bit tired." he says to me while he rubs my back. I look at him gratefully and he leads us through the crowd of people towards the door. As we walk through the house, my eyes involuntarily scan for Rosalie. I see her hugging Jessica goodbye. Once she finishes her hug, her eyes happen to meet mine. An unreadable emotion flashes across her face quickly. She covers it up with a mask of a blank expression soon after. She looks away from me quickly and continues to say goodbye to her guests. My heart starts to ache.
Why is she always hiding her emotions? Like she never wants me to know how she feels.
I sigh and hold Edwards hand tighter as we walk out the door. My body goes on autopilot while my brain and heart are paralyzed by the pain I am feeling. Edward opens the car door for me, like a gentlemen and I say a quiet word of thanks. We get into the car and drive away from the beautiful home.
I lay quietly on my side, with my arms crossed against my chest, trying to hold my breaking heart from falling apart. I hear Edward come out of the bathroom and I quickly wipe the tears that have fallen from my face. He climbs into bed behind me and wraps his arms around me.
"Bella, love, are you okay? You were very quiet in the car." he asks concerned as he rubs my arm.
"Just tired." I say in a fake sleepy tone, hoping her will drop the subject. I give a fake yawn for emphasis.
"Alright, I will let you sleep. I love you." he says sweetly.
"I love you too." I say as I suppress the guilty tone threatening to come out in my voice. He kisses my cheek then turns over and turns off the lamp on the nightstand that illuminated the room. The room is dead quiet, but I get no peace. My thoughts scream loudly in my head.
Admit it Bella. You are in love with Rosalie. You can't deny it anymore. You told her. She knows. And now Alice knows too.
My lips start to quiver and tears threaten to fall down my face again.
But she doesn't love me the same way I love her. She practically said it! What if she is just using me? What is I am just her sex toy and puppet?
I sigh and bury my face in my pillow.
It doesn't matter. You know you will do anything for her. You used to be that way for Edward. You would do anything for him. Now you feel this way for Rosalie. You don't care if she uses you. You don't care how she abuses you; you just want her to be close to you. You are in some deep shit. You have gone too far in to turn back now.
I shake my head back and forth, refusing to listen to inner voice and hear the truth.
I wonder what Alice will do with the information. God, if anyone finds out my life is ruined. I could lose everyone I love, especially Edward. God, everything is so fucked up.
I feel more tears start to fall and I cry until I am tired. Uncertain of my future, I let sleep envelop me and hope I will eventually figure out how to solve the mess we made.