AN: There were actually two endings written for this story. The other one and this one. This is the one I started with and had mostly written back when I decided to make Survival a Halloween special... I changed it up a bit because I really didn't like the whole IchiHime thing and ended up giving it a basis for something positive to happen in Rukia's life. This one...well... not so much... I probably should have left it alone with this one.

GoranR, this is the one I was talking about...

See you all soon on Dreamscape and Alaska and again, thank you for your reviews, your alerts, your following my work... I appreciate you all!

Survival Ending Alt

"Kuchiki-san!" Kisuke shouted from across the now open door.

Rukia didn't hear. She kept stabbing Zanko over and over as she screamed.

Kisuke came up behind her and grabbed her wrist with the knife, preventing her from accidentally stabbing him. He looked at her. She was cut up, covered in bruises and blood.

What the hell happened? He asked himself.

Rukia stopped moving and turned her head. Kisuke followed her gaze to the front door. Ichigo came running in just as Rukia collapsed in Kisuke's arms.

"I'm sorry…I couldn't…save you…Ichigo…" she whispered before she passed out.

The yellow light faded as Inoue stood. She looked at the others in the room and gave a small nod. "She…she's been through... She was… He…"

"It's ok, Inoue-san." Kisuke said. They all had a general idea of the kind of torture Zanko put her through just by looking at her. He didn't want to hear the despicable words, especially from an innocent like Inoue.

"I...I can't get her to wake up," she said sadly.

"I'm sure her mind needs to rest. Thank you for everything you've done," he said as he stood by the door and looked at them both.

"What?" Ichigo said. "You expect us to leave?"

"Yes."

"I'm not leaving her!" Ichigo insisted. Inoue gave him a sad look.

"She's going to need time to adjust when she wakes up. If she sees you or anyone else before she's ready, it could seriously damage her mental stability!" Kisuke said firmly.

"All the more reason she'll need us. We need to be here," Ichigo insisted.

Kisuke shook his head. "Kurosaki-san…I'll call you when she wakes up."

"But…"

Kisuke looked at Inoue for some help. At least she had a clue.

"Come on, Kurosaki-kun. There's no telling how long Kuchiki-san will be sleeping and I'm sure you'll be the first one he tells when she wakes up, right?"

"Scouts honor," Kisuke said.

Reluctantly, Ichigo left with Inoue on his arm. Kisuke sighed.

A week later Rukia opened her eyes as her memories came rushing back. She sat up with a gasp and frantically looked around. She grabbed the sheet she was under and held it to her chest as she backed herself into the corner of the room.

Slowly, her eyes began to focus. The room was different. She looked at her wrist and ankle. They were healed. She blinked. The door opposite from where she was curled up opened. Rukia held her breath.

"It's ok, Kuchiki-san," Kisuke said as he entered the room. "It's all over now."

Rukia looked at him but didn't say anything.

Over.

It was over. Zanko was dead.

"Rukia!"

Rukia's eyes widened.

"Rukia!" Renji called out as he ran past Kisuke. He didn't notice her flinch as he put his hands on her shoulders. "Are you ok? I'm so glad we finally found you and – "

"What part of 'I go first and talk to her' did you not understand?" Kisuke said angrily. Renji blushed.

"Y-you! H-How are you alive?" Her eyes wide, she backed further into the corner. Breathing rapidly, she felt very light headed. Renji gave her a puzzled look. Kisuke frowned at Renji. This was not how he wanted to explain things to the poor girl.

"What you saw at the house was Abarai's gigai, Kuchiki-san," Kisuke offered.

"Gi..gai," she whispered.

"Yes. Castigador Zankokuna did not kill Renji. Do you understand, Kuchiki-san?"

Renji backed up, giving her room. Rukia stood up and looked at Renji.

"So he…he wasn't…"

"He wasn't killed, no. None of them were. "

"None?" The room started to spin and she regretted standing. Renji moved to stand next to her, in case she fainted. She looked at him and tried to focus. Everyone was…alive? She managed to put the palm of her hand against Renji's face. It was warm. He felt alive. She had to be dreaming. Zanko was doing something to her… Maybe the smoke from the fire was making her delusional...

"They were all gigai's." Toshiro said as he came into the room. Rukia looked at him, confused.

"Hitsugaya-taicho!" Rukia exclaimed. He walked into the room and ignored Kisuke as he glared at him.

"Wh-what about Nii-sama?"

"He's fine," Kisuke said.

"He's on a mission at the moment but will be here in a few days," Toshiro said.

"H-how?"

"I don't think right now – "

"Tell me!" Rukia pleaded. She looked from Renji to Kisuke to Toshiro. "Please…"

Renji gave her a sad look.

"The morning after the party two discoveries were made. The first one came when Nemu came to my office and told me one of Kurotsuchi's experiments got out the previous night. He went out to retrieve it but had not returned. Since I was the only one still sober, she felt I could help." Toshiro said. Rukia seemed to look through him as things started to click in her mind.

"Kurotsuchi-taicho…created…Zanko…" She whispered. Toshiro closed his eyes.

"Apparently while you were all still in Hueco Mundo, Kurotsuchi had the opportunity to create him somehow." Kisuke said.

"It must have been after he defeated Szayel!" Renji yelled. "He found his underground lab. While we went to help the others, he stayed behind."

"According to Nemu, he found a fragment of a simulated Hogyoku. He captured a hollow and brought it back to his lab. Once Aizen was defeated, he created his own Espada." Toshiro continued.

Rukia searched her memory. "He said he broke out and used some sort of technology?"

"He used one of the memory machines the division has and downloaded information about you into his head. He quickly overpowered everyone in the building. He drained their memories using the same machine. Kurotsuchi was found later that afternoon in the Kuchiki manor. That's when we discovered you were missing."

Rukia started to shake as a chill went through her.

"We've been searching since."

"H-how long was I…?"

"Almost four months," Toshiro replied.

"It wasn't until Renji decided to search the living world for you that we discovered all of the gigai's stored here were stolen. With you being in one yourself and your reiatsu being suppressed, it's not surprising you couldn't tell the difference. Because of that, we had no idea where to look for you."

"They're all…"

"Alive and ok."

She looked at Kisuke as if she still didn't quite believe him. She quickly grew uncomfortable as all eyes were on her. She glanced at Renji, Toshiro, Kisuke before looking at the floor.

What did you expect?

Rukia jumped as the bell to the shop rang out. Inoue and Ichigo entered the shop.

"Oi!" Ichigo hollered as they entered the back room. Their eyes grew as they saw Rukia standing in the corner, holding onto a sheet with Renji next to her.

"Kuchiki-san! You're awake, are you ok?" Inoue asked.

"Rukia…"

Rukia stared blankly at the two.

Lovers. They would be lovers by now, wouldn't they?

"Orihime-san, you healed her physically but I'm afraid she will have a long way to go before she heals herself mentally from everything that's happened," Kisuke said. He turned to Rukia, "It was decided that you would remain here until we could explain everything that happened that way you wouldn't be so shocked waking up in the Kuchiki manor. Now that you're awake, when your brother gets back he'll come and take you to his mansion where he will look after you."

Rukia still stared.

Look at the little whore with pity. They pity you, you know. They don't think you're strong at all. You're weak and pathetic.

"And I'll do everything I can to help you," Renji added. "I'm not going to let you out of my sight."

Always needing someone to take care of you…

She closed her eyes to shut out that small voice.

"Are you ok?" Inoue asked.

"Are you alright?" Ichigo asked.

Random images from her nightmare experience came rushing through her mind. She paled and looked like she would throw up.

"Rukia?" Renji asked. "What's wrong? Are you ok?"

"I'm ok! Stop! Just stop hovering! I can take care of myself!" She yelled. Her eyes darted around the room wildly.

"Ok, I think everyone needs to leave… Now." Kisuke said as he ushered every one out of the room.

"Hey!" Renji said as he was physically shoved. He glanced over his shoulders and watched as Rukia sank to her knees, her eyes closed. "We need to be here for her!" He said.

"And you will be, but not now."

"YOU did this to me! This is all your fault! He killed her because of YOU! I HATE YOU!"

"You're not good enough! You were NEVER good enough!"

That's not true! I can handle myself!

"Yeah, like you handled yourself into execution? Like you handled yourself with the Bounts? Like you handled yourself – "

STOP! STOP IT!

"You're weak!"

"Orihime is DEAD because of you!"

"I am DEAD because of you!"

No…not dead. Not dead. Not my fault.

"Nothing is ever your fault, is it? Kaien wasn't your fault, Ashido wasn't your fault, Byakuya wasn't your fault"

STOP IT! Just stop, please!

"Is the great Kuchiki Rukia begging? Beg like the bitch you are."

Rukia awoke, covered in sweat, her heart pounding. Zanko was dead. He was dead. She sat up and slowed her breathing down. It was dark and quiet.

She gasped as she heard the door slide open.

"Hey…" Ichigo said softly as he sat down next to the futon. "It's only me."

"Get out," she said, not looking.

"Rukia…"

"Why are you here, Ichigo?" Rukia asked in a cold voice.

"I'm here because you need someone." He reached out and touched her hand. Rukia flinched and drew away. She tucked her hands under her knees as she drew them to her chest.

"Take your pity and go back to your girlfriend. I don't need it or you." She said as she turned her head.

"Don't shut everyone out. Don't shut me out. Not when you need us."

It would be so easy to give in and let it all go. She shook her head. "You wouldn't understand."

"Then TELL me so I can!" He said with a little desperation in his voice.

"No."

Ichigo sighed and sat back. He looked at the door and wondered how long he had before the others figured out he was in here.

"I HATE YOU!"

Rukia jumped.

"Rukia?" Ichigo asked.

"It was hell," she whispered. Ichigo looked at her. As his eyes adjusted to the little moon light, he could make out her sad expression. "I…I thought he killed everyone." She wrapped her arms around herself. Her eyes dulled as she remembered. "He killed Renji. He killed Rangiku-san, Hitsugaya-taicho…" She squeezed her eyes shut. "He…he k-killed n-n-nii-sama," she said as her voice dropped. "It was my fault. If I had listened and submitted to him sooner…" she shook her head. Ichigo felt like he would throw up at those words. The idea of her submitting to anyone in that way…

"He only had their gigai's. It wasn't real. He only – "

"I didn't know that!" Her breath was hard and heavy as she tried to control the tears that were filling her eyes. "He…he killed nii-sama in front of me. He said he had others. He said he had…you." She looked at him. Violet on amber. Rukia held her breath as she looked into his eyes.

Is his life more important than yours?

"Rukia…"

"I gave up, Ichigo. I gave up and I gave in."

"No – "

Rukia turned away as a tear fell from her eye. She quickly brushed it away.

"I…I wasn't strong enough," she admitted as she slumped her head down.

Ichigo eyes widened in shock.

"I stopped fighting, I stopped resisting and I gave in." She closed her eyes. She wasn't sure why she was telling him this. Maybe it was to clear her soul. She was tired…tired of all of the burdens she carried around. "I let him do what he wanted."

Ichigo cringed.

"It didn't matter anymore. I couldn't do anything for the others, but I thought, maybe I could keep the rest safe. I could keep you…safe."

"What happened?"

Rukia laughed. It was slightly maniacal, slightly sad. "He told me he killed Inoue and that you blamed me for it. That…that you hated me. He said those were your last words and you died blaming me." She turned and looked at him. "It wasn't until I had nothing left; it took him taking everyone and everything I had ever cared about…had ever…loved before I was strong enough to kill him. And even then…" Rukia looked at him before turning away again. "I was useless," she barely whispered.

They were silent for a long time.

"No." Ichigo said. Rukia didn't turn. "You weren't useless. You were protecting those you believed to be alive."

Rukia looked at him.

"You did what you thought you had to do to protect everyone," he gently put his hand on the side of her face, forcing her to make and keep eye contact with him, "And I would never, EVER blame you or hate you for anything, Rukia."

"Kurosaki-kun?" Inoue called out as she opened the door. Ichigo withdrew his hand and turned.

"Inoue…"

"I, um, thought you might want to walk me home now."

"Sure thing, Inoue," he said as stood up. "Think about what I said, ok?" Ichigo said as he turned back to Rukia. She gave a small smile and dipped her head to acknowledge Inoue before she turned away to lie back down.

She heard the door shut, then the whispers.

"What was that about?" Inoue asked.

"It's like we thought, the Espada messed with her head. Her recovery will probably take a long time."

"Her brother will take care of her though, and Abarai-kun."

"Yeah, I hear they're coming for her tomorrow. Come on…"

As their voices faded, Rukia wiped the tear from her eye.

Are they better than Zanko? … They're all going to hold you back, hold you down while they hold your hand.

"No…" she whispered into the dark.

What can you do? They're coming for you… And you will submit like you always do...

"I will not go with them."

Hahaha! Do you think they will give you the choice? Do you think anything you to do or say makes a difference?

"I…I will show them." She said as she stood. She looked in the corner, Sode no Shirayuki was sitting in a sword rack. She gleamed in the moonlight. "I will show them all how strong I am." She said as she picked up her Zanpaktou. The weight in her hands was comforting and much better than the sliver of mirror she had against Zanko.

She opened the door and found Inoue and Ichigo at the front of the shop. Rukia's lips turned into a small smile as she stabbed the ground four times.

"Oi, Ichigo!" She called out as she brought up her sword, "Some no mai, Hakuren!"

~FIN~