I kissed a girl
Blaine: We sing "Perfect" to each other in the car.
Everybody Watching Glee: Can we take a moment and remember that these are two teenage boys? Not to stereotype, but come on.
Everybody Watching Glee: ...I thought you drunkenly date-raped each other in the car.
Everybody Watching Glee: Which actually would be a bit more normal that singing "Perfect." But it's Glee, so not really.
Kurt and Blaine: We're perfect…lalala we're perfect…you're perfect…the whole is perfect and fluffy…
Blaine: *Showing off his Kurt's Shoulder Fetish* rub rub.
Hold on to sixteen
Remember that huge Warbler vs. New Directions regionals last year? Lolpsyche, one of them magically moved towns!
Apparently: Straight people can't bash gays, but gays can bash gays. Because this is what their fights sound like.
Kurt: I don't like the way you talk to my boyfriend.
Sebastian: Your boyfriend is to good for you.
Kurt: I don't like your face. You took like a mercat.
Sebastian: I don't like your face. You look gay.
Kurt: I hate your hair.
Sebastian: Oh yea, well your show choir sucks!
Kurt's thoughts: You can insult my face, you can insult my hair, but MY GLEE CLUB…
Sebastian: You're going to be wearing an apron. And khakis.
Kurt: Oh shit just got real. Time to pull out the real ammunition. Bitch, you smell like Craig's list.
Sebastian: Oh. No. He. Didn't.
Insults thrown were included and limited to: Boys, faces, show choir, hair, trophies, and clothes.
Blaine: Watcha guys talking about?
Sebastino: Duh, going out drinking and bar hopping again! *manly fist bump*
Blaine: Haha, oh no! Nothing weird happened last time! Right Kurt?
Kurt: *Singing softly to himself* "I ought to say no no no sir… mind if I step in closer…say what's in this drink…"
Blaine Last Year: We need to add sex to our performance if we want to win. I'm going to spend the whole episode talking about adding sex appeal to our performance.
Sam: So maybe we could add, like, one body role.
Blaine This Year: HEAVEN FORBID. I am literally appalled at that suggestion.
Blaine: We should add a twirl. Twirl twirl twirl…lalala boy show choirs and twirling…
Blaine A Few Minutes Later: I'M A MOTHERFUCKING BOXER, YOU MOTHERFUCKERS! SEE THIS PUNCHING BAG? IT'S YOU'RE AND THE HOMELESS GUYS FACE. HELLO, FACE, MEET MY FIST.
Finn: O_0
Blaine: Don't act so surprised. Everybody else should probably have seen this coming. I started the Secret Dalton Academy Fight Club. When I wasn't singing "Firework" I was beating people up.
Finn: I'm jealous of you, okay?
Blaine: Because I kissed Rachel, am hotter than you, a better singer and dancer than you, half the people who liked you moved on to like me, boy and girls alike, play the romantic lead in the musical with her, and take everyone of your solos?
Finn: Yes.
Blaine: It's a wonder you aren't the one punching my face.
Finn: Yea well, you are obviously much more violent than me. I think the last time I pushed someone he had gotten my girlfriend pregnant. You wanted a twirl.
Blaine: It was an amazing twirl.
Erp, hello