Dick has always been a do-it-yourself kind of guy. Calculus? Easy-peasy. Lunch without Alfred? No problem! The Joker's broken out of Arkham for the fifth time this month? Bruce could do with a break anyway.
But this was a situation he knew he couldn't handle alone. One problem, though. He had no idea who he could even ask for help. Babs was most definitely out of the question and Wally would only laugh in his face. And Bruce? Yeah, no way.
That left only one option open for the Boy Wonder, who honestly wasn't feeling all that wondrous.
He would have to go to Artemis.
Robin, balanced precariously on the narrow window sill, gazed into Artemis' small apartment. She was sitting cross legged in her pajamas on the carpeted floor, working on some of her trick arrows. The television glowed brightly as the blonde journalist - Cat Grant, someone Bruce had to deal with on more than one occasion - reported from a crowded street in Central City.
"But the Trickster has once again been taken into custody, thanks to the Flash. However, Kid Flash seems to have been missing. What could this mean? Tune in at eleven to find out."
At the mention of the missing sidekick, Artemis' head whipped up, her loose hair flying about wildly. Her eyes were wide with what Robin assumed was worry. He smirked slightly. Maybe he'd come to the wrong place for this kind of advice after all.
"Don't worry about your "ninja boyfriend"," Robin said as he swung into the room with a cheerful grin. Artemis jumped up abruptly, battle stance taken and ready for a fight. Her shoulders sagged and her eyes rolled just as abruptly when her friend landed with an unnoticeable thud. "He may be out of the cast, but the Flash is keeping him from patrol. Wally isn't too whelmed."
"I'm not worried," Artemis scoffed, pulling a hand through her long and tangled hair as she glanced back at the TV. Robin raised his eyebrows, tilting his head skeptically. He received a signature Artemis glare in return. "Seriously! Kid Idiot could be stuck in Arkham Asylum for all I care."
"Whatever helps you sleep at night," Robin dismissed her defense with a wave. "But I'm not here to argue about your relationship with Wally, existent or not." Artemis opened her mouth in protest, but whatever she was going to say died on her tongue as she took in her teammate's furrowed brow and almost unnoticeable blush. She straightened with a smirk of her own, placing her hands on her hips. She knew he would come to her sooner or later. And she was so glad that it was sooner.
"This is about Zatanna, isn't it?" Artemis expected a denial, but that definitely wasn't what she got. He sighed defeatedly and plopped onto the floor, leaning back on his hands. Artemis joined him, cross legged once again, one brow raised in question.
It was quiet for a few moments as Robin contemplated the question. He leaned forward, looked his friend straight in the eye, and sighed. "Yeah," he said, "It's about Zatanna."
A comfortable silence fell over the two after this revelation - but honestly, it wasn't all that revealing. For being considered the "ninja" of the team, Robin hadn't been too subtle when it came to his feelings about the young magician. At least, it was obvious to Artemis. She had no idea about the others. She considered Robin to be her little brother, and big sisters tended to have a good sense about these kinds of things.
Robin looked away from the archer, rubbing the corner of his mask, his hand practically itching to tear it off of his face. He didn't want to have this conversation as Robin. It was Dick who had a crush on Zee, not Batman's partner. On one hand, he would love to tell Artemis who he was. One, it might distract her from the topic he had brought up. Two, she really was one of his best friends. But on the other hand, Batman would kill him. And he kind of liked living.
A good minute passed. Artemis just couldn't take the silence any longer. "Sooo," she held, garnering Robin's attention. "What about Zatanna? I mean, besides the obvious." She paused to smirk happily. "Hearing you finally admit it would be pretty awesome, though."
"Ha ha ha, Robin's got a crush." His voice dripped with sarcasm, making Artemis' smirk grow even wider. "I'm trying to be serious, Artemis."
Her smirk fell into a frown. "But why me?" she asked hesitantly, more confused than anything. "Why not Wally?"
"And why would I go to Wally for girl advice?"
"Point taken." said Artemis, picking up one of her exploding arrows and examining it carefully. "So, shoot."
"What?" asked a horrified and obviously distracted Robin as he stared at the weapon clutched in her hand. Artemis rolled her eyes and shook her head, grabbing the screwdriver from her tool kit.
"What d'you want to know? Unless you're just here to bash Wally. I'm up for that any day, any time."
"Oh. Oh, yeah." Rubbing the back of his neck nervously, Robin glanced at Artemis, but quickly looked back down at the incredibly interesting stain by his feet. "I just … I guess I don't know what to do. I don't want to be chalant about it, y'know?"
Artemis tossed the screwdriver aside as she shot a strange look across the room. "Sure." She grabbed a rag and ran it down the shaft of the arrow before looking back to her friend. "Have you tried talking to her about it?"
Robin looked absolutely horrified. "Why would I do that? Wally said -"
"And what did we say about listening to Wally?"
"Right. Ignore Wally. Got it." He pulled a hand through his already tussled hair before jumping to his feet. He began pacing the room, his tread light and noiseless. Artemis shuddered. That never failed to creep her out. He stopped suddenly and spun around to face her, his cape flying out and barely missing the lamp perched atop the side table. "But what if she doesn't like me back?"
Sometimes, Artemis forgot how young Robin truly was. But seeing him now, so distraught over his schoolgirl crush, it hit her like a ton of bricks. He was only thirteen. He was only thirteen.
"Rob, calm down," she soothed, placing her arrow back in its quiver and standing up to face her friend. She walked over, her tread ten times heavier than his, and placed a hand on his shoulder. "If she doesn't like you, big deal. There will be other girls and you know it. The question you need to ask is," she pulled her hand away and shrugged, a smile tugging at her lips. "What if she does like you?"
Robin looked to his feet, mulling the words over. What if Zatanna liked him? A smile immediately pulled across his face at the thought. "That would be pretty asterous, wouldn't it?"
"Exactly." Artemis nodded once and turned back to her quiver, carefully picking her next arrow. "That better be it. I'm not Ask Jeeves, you know, and I've got work to do." Silence was the only reply. "Rob?" she asked, eyes trained on the wires she was carefully rearranging in the arrowhead. Even more silence. "Robin?"
When she turned around, the room was empty. But if she had strained her ears, maybe she would have heard the carefree laughter of a bird flying through the alleyways of Gotham.
But she didn't strain her ears. She only shrugged before looking up at the clock that hung on a wobbly old nail above the doorway. 10:58.
Maybe it was time she started to watch the eleven o'clock news. You never know what might turn up. New villain, robbery in progress, maybe even a speedster or two. Yeah, you never know.