Is this…wrong? England questioned himself.

Oh, bloody hell. Don't be daft, of course it's wrong!

He stared at his illuminated computer screen. The neon green "HETALIA UNITS" standing out from the rest of the webpage made his stomach churn and yet…he could not look away. There was a whole list of country units, himself included, that he could look at if he just scrolled. It sickened him a bit, knowing that regular citizens had access to models that looked, sounded, and behaved like real nations.

It sickened him…yet it also filled him with a kind of twisted glee. He could buy a unit if he wanted. He could purchase a companion that could satisfy his loneliness in a way that none of the real nations could.

In a way America couldn't.

England's hand hovered over the mouse, wondering what would happen if he clicked "purchase." Would…would it really be so bad to have a…a unit as a companion? He really did miss Alf-America. And besides his magical friends, he didn't have anyone to talk to.

"Oh, bugger it all." England mumbled, exiting out of the homepage. "What would the other nations think if they found out?"

What would America think of me?

England flushed, the thought of being discovered by America was too embarrassing to even think about. He could already imagine the scenario of what would happen if he was found out.

America would walk in, unsuspecting, with a hamburger and shake, greet England with a hard whack on the back, and laugh obnoxiously. He would proclaim that he was the hero while flailing his arms in that attracti-annoying way of his. Then the ALFRED F. JONES unit would walk out.

"DUDE! You bought a unit! OF ME?"

"HAHAHA!"

"Holy shi-. England, I hate you and will never speak to you again!" America would walk out the door, and his unit counterpart will shout some obscenities saying how he is the 'original hero.'

Yes, England resolved to himself, that is exactly how it would happen.

He swiveled in his chair and stared up at the ceiling, suddenly finding it fascinating. He groaned as he ran his hands through his hair, wondering if there was a magical spell for keeping units invisible. Then he wouldn't have to worry.

England turned back to his computer and reopened the website. His fingers drummed themselves on his desk as he sat there in thought. Really, the whole idea of getting a unit was absurd. But a greater part of him shouted, "Buy one! Buy one!" He let his hand hover over the mouse once more.

Really, a thousand pounds for a lifetime companion wasn't too unreasonable was it? And it was made by a reliable company, right? He could always just send it back if the unit proved to be dysfunctional, too much of a hassle, or if he was too worried to be found out. Right? Right.

England nodded to himself before clicking "add to cart."

A second window popped up asking, "Would you like to continue shopping?"

England hastily clicked 'no' and was brought to the checkout page. There it was, in clear print. ALFRED F. JONES unit. Quantity: 1. 1,000 pounds.

"Bloody hell, I've gone mad."

England clicked "check out" and entered in his billing information.

Your ALFRED F. JONES unit will arrive within two to five business weeks. Thank you for shopping at Flying Mint Bunny Co. We hope you enjoy your purchase and that we'll be doing business with you again soon.

Yes, England thought, I've gone bloody mad.

But, then again, who has to know?

A/N: Right. So, after reading 60+ spin-offs of Lollidictator's unit manuals, I thought to myself: What would happen if units were available to the nation-tans? And I produced this. ._.

/hides in shame.

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