AN: So I haven't updated since October… for that I am so sorry! My only excuse is that: College is so hard and is very demanding. I also want to thank everyone that reviewed, alerted, and favored. They kept me going when I seriously didn't want to write… I love you all!

Warnings: Masturbation and a Confused Naruto

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Naruto

"Are you going to tell me how you realized this or do I have to guess?" Deidara asked impatiently as I walked in, almost tripping on one of the many scattered unfinished art projects.

I wanted to tell him how I came up with this decision, but every time I tried to open my mouth no words came out. Am I supposed to feel this much anxiety… I was making a huge life decision… Shit… wasn't it just this morning that I thought I was in love with Tenten? Just because she told me that she doesn't like me, doesn't mean I don't have to stop liking her, and just because Sasuke gave me the kiss doesn't mean I'm gay either… Ah, crap, my mind's a mess; I'm starting to regret my words.

"I sorry Deidara, but I think I made a mistake. I didn't like that kiss…" I said hastily as I tried to rush to the door.

"Oh, hell no! You came here to talk, so you're going to talk!" Deidara yelped as he quickly blocked me from leaving.

"Deidara, I don't know what to do…I think about that kiss and Sasuke but I'm not sure if my feelings for Tenten are gone." I sighed desperately as I slowly made my way over to his bed. Since he was blocking the exit I might as well just tell him what I'm feeling.

"Naruto, I'm no therapist but you can talk to me… I've been your friend for three years so I think I'm qualified to help you." Deidara soothed.

What were my feelings? I like girls but I also like guys…? Can that be possible? Are my feelings for Tenten suddenly gone just because Sasuke kissed me? Fuck…my head is starting to hurt.

"I really don't know where to start…" I admitted weakly.

I glanced up and saw Deidara's thinking face while he started to pace around the room. The room was filled with comfortable silence before Deidara rushed quickly to my side.

"You feel conflicted… your starting to like Sasuke but you still have feelings for Tenten."

"Yes! That's exactly how I feel…" I was amazed on how he got it right. "But I wouldn't say I would have feelings for Sasuke yet…I just can't stop thinking about his kiss…"

How could one kiss be so powerful… so good… so perfect that it changes my way of thinking…

"You know what I think… You're bi or at least bi-curious, I know for a fact that you've always somehow like Sasuke, because you're a masochist but sometimes a man has to appreciate a woman's body, too."

"…but I've never thought of a man in a sexual way…" I whimpered out insecurely. I didn't really like were this conversation was heading.

"Oh, you don't have to do that now… but can you at least admit that you kinda like Sasuke?"

"I guess…"

"Great, now it's 11:43 and I'm really tired, so I'm going to bed. You can come too…"

Suddenly all the fatigue from today finally hit me and I felt overwhelmingly tired. Without even changing into pjs, I plopped down onto the bed.

"Goodnight Naruto…"

"-ght…Dei-ra…" I mumbled tiredly into the pillow.

The lights flickered off and I was ready to fall asleep…only thing, I didn't. Deidara's word's swirled around in my head. Can I admit that I kinda like Sasuke? He's nice when he wants to and he's smart and…well… even I can appreciate the way he looked. His lips were so soft. They seemed to mold to mine perfectly. I can actually say that I liked the way he dominated me…

I shifted in the bed and felt an uncomfortable tightness in my stomach.

I panicked. I didn't understand what this feeling was. I shyly glance over to Deidara and see that he was already sleeping soundly. I rushed over to the adjacent bathroom, making sure to close the door softly. I flipped on the light and was surprised with what I saw… my…lower regions…it was…oh, shit…I got erect thinking of Sasuke!

I didn't know what to do…I never masturbated before. I calmly stripped my sweat pants and my boxers. I hissed roughly as the cool air hit my member. I was scared to touch it… it was fully hard and dripping. I gave a timid pull and moaned loudly, but I quickly covered my mouth so Deidara couldn't hear me.

That felt really good.

I experimented with harder pulls and soon I was moaning mess. I closed my eyes at some point and imagined rougher hands instead, a deeper voice whispering sweet possessive things in my ear and sinful lips kissing me.

The tightness quickly became too much and soon I exploded. Thick, white sticky substance covered my hands.

Oh Fuck… I masturbated to Sasuke…

XOXOXOXO

"Naruto!"

I turned around hesitantly from my conversation with Deidara and saw Tenten running to us. It was lunch and it was hard to understand or hear anything in the cafeteria. Once she noticed that she had my attention she rushed over. She… looked… like utter shit, but I would never tell her. Her usual up kept hair was frizzy and greasy and she had red rings around her eyes.

"Damn she looks like shit…" Deidara whispered while taking a bite of his omelet. "I see why you like Sasuke."

"You look like shit you fucking bitch… Leave!" I glared. I guess things didn't go well with Neji sensei.

"Fine," He sighed. "Itachi sensei is over there anyway…"

He was gone by the time Tenten arrived. She looked worse up close. She was still wearing the clothes from yesterday.

"Hey… um… I went to Neji sensei yesterday… and… and…" She stuttered. Tears started to form in her eyes as she tried to hastily wipe them away. "I told him my feelings but he told me he didn't feel that way… he said he was already engaged to someone."

I glanced at her dejectedly. I felt the need to comfort her but I didn't feel the excitement that I was expecting. If Tenten was now free… why wasn't I happy? I can finally be with her right? I should be jumping for joy not feeling like an older brother and comfort her…

"I'm so sorry Tenten. If there was anything I can do… just let me know." I soothed her.

She looked up from the table and gave me a small smile.

"Thanks… I just don't know what to do… I really thought he liked me. He showed all the signs but, I guess it was all just an illusion." She sighed.

At that exact moment Deidara came back, his hair was mused and his lips seemed a little puffy. He had an excited look in his eye.

"I'm sorry to interrupt but, Guess who is going to the Honorary dinner? Me and you!" Deidara wailed as he clapped his hands.

"The Honorary dinner?" I questioned. I've been at this school for over three years and I have never heard of an Honorary diner.

"Yeah the diner is to commemorate the teachers. You have to be invited to go…" Tenten suddenly chipped in. Her raspy voice surprised us.

"And how do you know this? Only those who are invited know about it." Deidara snapped back rudely. He seemed annoyed with Tenten and I didn't know why.

She seemed unfazed by Deidara's rudeness, "My father is the dean of the school. I am obligated to go."

"Hn. Well, whatever." He grunted. "The dinner's tonight so me and Naruto have to get ready…"

He roughly pulled me off the bench and walked away. I peeked timidly over my shoulder and saw Tenten giving us a look… a look that I didn't like.

XOXOXOXO

I stepped in front the full view mirror that was on Deidara's door. I offered a soft smile as I gave myself a once over; a plain white button down shirt and black skinny jeans. My hair looked softer than usual as it spiked up in different directions.

"Damn you look hot!" Deidara smirked. He was dressed in a similar fashion, red button down with black skinny jeans.

"Thanks…" I muttered apprehensively.

"I think tonight will be your night… to Ya know, see if you have feelings for Sasuke." Deidara smirked as he started to clean the mess that we made with the discarded clothes.

"I don't have feelings for Sasuke. I thought we established this last night!" I glared at him through the mirror.

He chuckled, "Oh please, I heard you last in the bathroom. You moaned Sasuke's name like a wonton whore."

Memories from last night flooded my mind. Shit…

"Hey, you don't need to feel embarrassed. I was in the same situation as you about a year ago."

"What?" I asked in shock. I never knew about Deidara's love life.

"Yeah… For a long time I thought that I was in love with Sasori-Danna but it was just respect. I had conflicting feelings for Itachi sensei. After a lot of drama from both sides, I ended up getting into an on and off sexual relationship with Itachi. Yesterday, we actually confessed our feelings for each other and became boyfriends."

I couldn't help but smile while Deidara was talking about Itachi sensei. He seemed so happy, but I think our situations are different. Deidara has been gay for as long as I've known him and me… I'm just confused.

"Naruto, How about you head to dinner first? I still need to clean up." Deidara said making me stop my distracting thoughts.

I just nodded and grabbed the extra jacket as I headed out the door. The dinner was sadly was going to held in the crappy cafeteria. How will the student council make it look elegant will be beyond me. It didn't take me long to reach the entrance of the cafeteria. I decided to not go inside but to wait for Deidara outside.

"Sasuke!" A shrill voice came from behind me. "Sasuke, I love you. I'm so happy that you invited me."

I turned around and saw a slim red headed girl dressed in a short dark blue cocktail dress draped over Sasuke. Sasuke didn't seem to mind as he just slipped his arm around her waist. Suddenly I felt a pain in my stomach. I didn't like that girl at all.

"Naruto? Are you okay?"

I didn't turn around to know that it was Deidara who put his arm around me.

"Hey why are you crying? Did something happen?"

Crying… I brought my hand to my face and sure enough there was a few tears coming from my eyes. Why was I crying? Why was I upset? Was it because the girl and Sasuke…

Deidara looked over at Sasuke and realization soon crossed his face. He gave me a soft smile and ushered me inside.

"Oh Naruto…Your jealous…"

…What…?

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