You Made This?

I can't breathe...my heart...it feels like….no this can't be real. It's all just a dream.

"Don't be rude. Stand up and walk this nice boy back home." Akito stood behind Minoru who still had his hand out, introducing himself like they had just met.

Etsuko slowly stood, she could feel her legs wobble wanting to give out on her. She wanted to stay on the ground until someone told her it was a joke.

"H-Hey. Are you ok?" Minoru could tell she was having a hard time staying on her feet. "You don't have to walk me home. I'm sure I'll be fine. It was just a small bump." He grinned widely.

She looked at him as he grinned. It wasn't the same, it felt too polite. Her throat was dry, she wasn't sure if she could talk. "No." she practically whispered. "I'm...fine. Let's go." She kept her head down as she and Minoru walked past Akito, and she shut her eyes tightly when they passed Hatori, who in turn couldn't look at her either.

When they opened the door to the hallway one of the maids was already out there waiting and prepared with his book bag. "Oh, Thank you very much." he smiled as he took it. They walked out of the main house and towards the gate. Once out of the estate the two walked in silence for a majority of the time. Minoru believed they had officially just met and Etsuko, trying to hold on to herself, and to the memories that seemed half gone.

"So." Minoru cleared his throat a bit. He wasn't really sure what was going on with her. They had spoken maybe once the entire year and yet here she was, walking him home. "I know this is kind of a dumb question because it's almost the end of the school year...and I should probably know this but...you're a transfer student right? I remembered you came just a little bit after the school year. Where did you transfer from?"

It took a moment for Etsuko to push down the feelings there were building up inside. She couldn't remember if they talked about where she had gone. If they had, it was just small talk, but even that memory or what could have been a memory was gone regardless. "It's kind of a mix. I was homeschooled for a bit, then I went to middle school and a bit of high school at Seien high school."

"What?! That high school is like one of the top schools in Japan and it's an all girls school. Man...why did you come to crappy Kaibara with somewhere like that under your belt?"

Etsuko walked with her eyes on the pavement. She was remembering the time she first met Minoru in the halls of Kaibara, where she gave him a bloody nose. The tree where he found her skipping class. The classrooms where she ate lunch with him everyday and slowly realized that there was more to the world than her family and their secrets. "I don't think it's crappy." She felt the tears welling up in her eyes. "I've made so many memories in that school. It's not crappy and for you to say that...it's...it's not okay!" She let out a small gasp. Her feelings were starting to spill out. She had to push them back down. Deep down, everything had to be ok.

Minoru looked a bit surprised at her small outburst. He let out a small sigh, he knew in his heart that the school wasn't bad and that his old man was right about it being a good place for him. He placed his hands behind his head. "You're right...I'm sorry. That school isn't crappy and I know I'll miss it when we graduate, some days are just so boring."

It wasn't much longer until they had reached his apartment buildings. The two of them stood at the bottom of the stairs. Minoru looked up at them for a moment and then looked back at Etsuko a bit uneasily. "Uhm, so listen, I don't mean to be rude but my...parents are kind of strict about curfew and girls and stuff. I'd invite you in but I don't want them to freak out on you. You understand right?"

It was in this moment that Etsuko finally understood that everything they had talked about, learned about one another was forgotten by him. She didn't even know what she was to him anymore. Just some transfer student? Some girl who lived in a private community? Even the way he looked at her now was like when two strangers look at one another politely while passing on the street. He had told her about a secret only the teachers knew. She had been in that apartment, saw how alone he was, how he pretended to be so happy at school and at the same time his heart aching because he was the only one without a parent teacher conference because no one was there for him. She knew all of this and yet she couldn't say anything. "I understand. Make sure you drink a lot of water tonight and if you start feeling dizzy don't lay down. No matter what!"

He placed his hand on top of her head and smiled. "It was just a small hit on the head, but I'll be careful. I promise." He began to walk up the stairs, but stopped and turned around. "Oh yeah. I meant to ask you something."

"Yes?"

"I don't really know how to ask so I'll just say it bluntly so there isn't any misunderstanding. Would you stop telling people we're dating? I don't know why you would spread that rumor but...it's a little weird...no offense." The tone in his voice pierced her heart. Etsuko knew how Hatori was able to erase memories but she didn't fully understand how he was able to convince them of new memories.

"Right...I'm sorry." She said quietly.

Minoru felt like he had been a bit harsh, but he remembered that the guys in his class would tease him about dating a Sohma and he didn't remember ever agreeing to it so he concluded that she was spreading rumors. "I'm sorry. It's just that we haven't really spoken to one another and then I heard we were apparently dating and it's just kinda weird. Anyway, thanks for walking me home. I'll see you at school."

Etsuko turned and began to walk back. What was she supposed to say? Was she supposed to tell him the truth? That they had spent hours together and learned so much about one another? What was he doing at the main house? What did Akito do to lure him to the house? She couldn't go back home, Hatori's place was out of the question and she couldn't go to Shigure's house. Everything reminded her of him and it was chipping at her heart.

She stopped walking when she realized she just barely walked by the playground. Unbeknownst to her it was where she met him truly for the first time. They had met a total of four times. This was where she had her first date with him and she thought for just a moment she could be happy with the memories that the park held.

Now she couldn't feel anything. Sadness, anger, happiness, all she felt was numbness. She went over to the swing set and sat on one of the swings and gently rocked back and forth. Hours went by, it was past curfew for minors and the sun had set hours ago, but Etsuko still sat there, head down and eyes glued to the sand. It wasn't until she heard the sound of a car making its way up the street. It was driving slowly so she assumed it was Hatori looking for her. She quickly got off the swing and hurried into the woods, hiding in a pile of bushes. When the car stopped in front of the park, the headlights turned off and the door opened. Due to it being midnight Etsuko wasn't able to make out the person walking around with a flashlight moving around. The figure came closer to the wooded area and Etsuko tried her best to make herself smaller.

Hatori knew she was somewhere in the park and when he got closer to the forest he heard her move and the flashlight picked up her elbow peeking out of the bush she was hiding in. All he was concerned about at the moment was knowing where she was and knowing that she was okay. He knew she wasn't hurt, but wasn't ready to talk. He got back into the car and rested his head on the steering wheel allowing himself to feel and look defeated and racked with guilt.

Etsuko didn't hear the car leave meaning she wasn't able to leave. She wanted nothing to do with Hatori. She didn't want anything to do with Sohma's in general. So she moved deeper into the woods remembering the house that Minoru had taken her to on their date. As she moved deeper and deeper within the forest she forgot just how far the house was. The fact that she couldn't see anything made it seem even further away. She kept running into branches and tripping on the roots of trees but eventually she made it to the house. "It's still creepy...maybe creepier." She climbed up on the porch and opened the door to the living room. From the living room she made it to the kitchen.

She began to feel around looking for the table. Once her hips hit the corner of the table she let her hands search for the engraving Minoru had made. Not being able to see made it take a bit longer to find the engraving but her fingers brushed up against the grooves of the wood. In that moment the tears began to fall from her face. Hidden by a blanket of darkness Etsuko was able to let go of the emotions she was pushing down. It grew too much for her and her legs gave out. She sat on the kitchen floor, her hands were still touching the engraving. The entire night she stayed in that position, eventually crying herself to sleep.

She could hear birds singing and in the far off distance she heard voices of children. Etsuko opened her eyes, which were puffy and irritated from her tears and now from the bright sun shining through the partial roof. "What.." She was sore everywhere and could feel twigs in her hair. The events of last night didn't take long to come back to her and Etsuko groaned. It wasn't a dream. Today at school she would see him. School. "Shit!" She stood up and took out her phone. "If I don't go now I'll be late."

Etsuko made her way to the porch and hopped down and began to run through the woods. It was easier in the day time, although it didn't stop a few branches from getting caught in her hair. She emerged from the woods, leaves and twigs causing her hair to stand in several different directions. Her uniform muddy from sitting on the flood all night and her body felt as if it aged 80 years in one night.

"Look out a forest witch!" a fifth grader yelled as he and his friends ran away from her.

"Witch…" She looked down and let out a small shriek. "I guess I do look like some type of monster. Etsuko did her best to get the drift off her clothes and took out the twigs in her hair, although a few leaves managed to escape her clutches. "Alright, gotta hurry if I want to make it on time." She started to speed walk towards the school, when she noticed that the car that pulled up from last night was still there. She recognized that car from anywhere. She walked up to it and knocked on the window of the driver's seat.

Hatori had parked there all night. He even had to explain to an officer that he was looking for his lost dog. He never left and dozed off in the car. When he woke up to the knock of glass he was startled, although he hid it very well. He looked over half expecting the same officer to tell him to go home but was surprised to see Etsuko.

Once he was awake she opened the back of the car. A small sigh of relief escaped her mouth when she realized Akito wasn't in the car, she honestly didn't know what she would have done had he been there. "Did you sleep out here all night?"

"Yes." Hatori was a bit surprised at how she quickly went into conversation as if yesterday never happened. He recalled the last time he erased the boy's memory and she wasn't able to look at him for a few days, even after Kana had made them talk. Of course, he had ended up erasing her memory as well.

"Will you take me to school?"

Hatori looked at her through the rearview mirror and nodded. "Yes." He turned the car on and began to drive to school. "Did you sleep outside all night?"

Etsuko nodded. "I did."

Their relationship was certainly being put to the test. Neither of them wanted to address the elephant in the car. Hatori would have normally scolded her for being so rash, but what was he expecting her reaction would be last night? "I don't want you to get sick."

"I probably will." Etsuko couldn't blame Hatori for doing what he was told to do. She knew the ones who were cursed were unable to defy Akito and any wishes.

"I suppose I'll need to learn to make some soup then."

Etsuko gave him a small smile. "Your soup will make me even more sick."

Hatori let the silence fill the car once more. As he pulled up to the school he parked the car and looked at her again through the mirror. "I'm sorry."

She put her hand on the car door handle and sat for just a moment letting his apology process."You didn't have a choice." With that she opened the car door and left. Hatori watched her walk up to Tohru and the rest of the group before he drove off.

"Etsuko what happened!" Tohru met her halfway as she walked up to them. She noted the dirt stains on her skirts and top. The leaves that were in her hair weren't hard to miss either. "You didn't fall did you?"

Thinking she had done a decent job at cleaning herself off, she realized that she hadn't been that good. She watched Tohru pick a leaf out of her hair. "Oh no." she forced a small laugh. "I didn't fall." She had no excuse to give, so instead she brushed it off and walked with Tohru back to the group.

"Geez, you'd think you slept outside or something." Kyo frowned at Etsuko's entire presence. He also watched Tohru picking leaves off of her hair, thinking it was a bit hindering even though he'd never admit it.

"What?" she let out a small nervous laugh. " I didn't sleep outside. I just tri-...uh I mean some brat threw sand on me the morning and...and I walked into a bush and that's why I have leaves in my hair." she waited for her lie to be accepted.

"Okay." Kyo hadn't believed one ounce of her story but he also didn't care. It wasn't much long after until Momiji and Hatsuharu showed up and joined the group.

Etsuko hadn't realized she wasn't as late as she thought she was since they were all able to chat. Momiji helped Tohru pick leaves out of Etsuko's hair as they continued the conversation.

"Isn't that Minoru?" Hana pointed out.

Hearing his name tore at her heartstrings. She turned her head to look towards his direction and as the two made eye contact she remembered what he told her last night.

"If you would stop telling people we're dating."

She quickly turned away, looking at the ground. "Yeah."

Hana, being able to sense wavelengths, looked at the two of them. "I feel disturbing waves from the both of you."

Etsuko's head shot up to look at her. How she could have felt anything like that scared her. "Why would you say that?"

The pointed tone in her voice and bluntness made everyone a bit surprised. Hanajima closed her eyes, as if she was searching for the words. "It's just that you're wavelengths are so very strong and chaotic today, and normally they are calm when he's around. Today however is different."

Why was she angry? It wasn't like Hana had read her diary to figure out something was different. But she didn't have to announce it to the world. All she had to do was keep her mouth shut and her thoughts to herself. Why couldn't Hana let her deal with this in peace. The anger just kept building. It felt like the entire school was looking at her, waiting for an answer. "Everything is fine!" She yelled causing everyone to jump. "I didn't ask you to read my waves, whatever the hell that even means! So do me a favour and keep your weird witch shit away from me! You're nothing but a freak!" The last word just slipped out of her mouth so easily but the second she said it, there was instant regret. At that moment, she had felt more like Akito than ever.

"Etsuko, that wasn't nice to say." Yuki finally broke the silence between all of them. "You need to apologize."

She wanted to, truly, but the anger was still festering inside her. It was building inside of her threatening to come out. "You can all go to hell!" She quickly ran off towards the school, pushing a few people out of her way. The anger manifested into tears, and it was getting harder to see.

Tohru started to go after her, hoping to console her but felt Momiji grab her hand. He looked serious and sad at the same time. "Let me." He had heard what had happened last night from some old women who were gossiping outside. He knew what she must be feeling, and thought that he could help. He ran after her, and after looking in a few classrooms he opened the door to the home economics class. There wouldn't be a class today so the lights were off but when he popped his head in he heard the washing machine going. He walked in and shut the door behind him letting the dark engulf him. He walked over to the washing machine and looked left and down on to the floor. His eyes had adjusted and he was able to see Etsuko curled up in a ball, leaning against the machine with gym clothes on instead. "Hey." Momiji went and stood next to her. He sat on the ground and pulled his knees up to his chest as he rested his head on them and looked at her.

Etsuko was sitting in a similar way, but her face was hiding behind her arms as they kept her knees up to her chest. She didn't want to talk to anyone. "Momiji...please leave me alone."

He stayed where he was. He remembered when his father told him that his mother had chosen to forget him because it would make her better. He knew what it felt like to be forgotten. To never have existed in a loved one's to remember everything about their loved one. "I know you didn't mean what you said to Hana. And I know how much you must be hurting right now. You're filled with all these different emotions fighting to come out. Anger, sadness, hurt…" It was as if he was recalling his own pain. "I know how much it hurts to be forgotten."

There was a long stretch of silence, which Momiji was fine with. He just wanted to keep her company. "I don't...know what to feel. I don't know what to do." She had kept her face hidden but the sniffling indicted tears were present. "We spent so much time together. Getting to know one another...just so it could be erased within a matter of seconds."

Momiji struggled with his mother's choice in forgetting him everyday, and everyday it still hurt just the same. "I know it's difficult, and I'm not saying it gets easier because it doesn't...but the memories you have you must keep, Remember them, and everyday face them so one day they won't be able to hurt you, you and I can defeat them and they won't hurt us." Momiji let a tear run down his cheek.

Etsuko had nothing to respond with, but she did lean against him. The two of them sat there in silence until the bell for class to begin. Momiji stood up and placed his hand on top of her head. "Take your time. I'll cover for you." He left heading towards his homeroom. He had stopped by Etsuko's room and explained to the homeroom teacher that she had fallen and she was washing her clothes. The teacher thanked him and the day began.

Etsuko had managed to hide in the home economics room for most of the day. Her homeroom teacher had found her, luckily she was able to collect herself and was found sitting on a table with the light on. The teacher asked if she was alright and once she was convinced she wrote Etsuko a note for her teacher and told her to go straight to class once her clothes were dry. Eventually the clothes did dry and she was able to go to the bathroom and change back into the uniform. She made it to their third class of the day and gave the note to the teacher before sitting down. That class and the class after felt as if it dragged on for hours. While she had felt anger earlier that morning, Etsuko now just felt numb. She wasn't listening to the lesson, she didn't take notes, nothing could keep her attention and she didn't care. Once lunch came around, Etsuko asked one of the girls to take her job because she wasn't feeling well and it didn't take too much convincing. Etsuko sat with her face flat on the desk. She was starting to feel the same way now as she did when she was taking those pills. Like an empty shell.

Those pills, she hadn't taken them in so long she almost forgot about them. While they allowed her the ability to function in the world, she was numb to everything around her. It was a feeling she was happy to forget when she met Minoru. He was able to bring light into her dark world, which now was back to being pitch black. .

"Hey." a deep voice interrupted her wallowing.

Etsuko slowly looked up and saw that it was Ryota. She didn't even have the energy to tell him to go away. Instead she put her head back down on the table.

"Don't go to sleep, I came up here just to eat lunch with you!" Ryota put his small bento box on her desk and pulled up a older students were allowed to bring their lunch. "I had to sneak up here too."

"I seriously don't have the energy to deal with you today."

He had known about the events of last night. He knew what was going to happen before he even transferred to the school but that was his secret. "Good thing I bought extra food, specially made by me." He opened his lunch and began to divide it in half. When he noticed that she wasn't moving he sighed. "Please eat Etsuko. If you do I'll go away."

Etsuko looked back up and stared at the food. It did look good. Fried chicken, with a small serving of fruit and a mix of vegetables. It wasn't until she actually smelled the food that she realized she hadn't eaten since lunch of the previous day. Her stomach growled and on cue Ryota handed her a pair of chopsticks. She looked at him and gently took them from him. "Thank you."

He smiled and nodded. Ryota sat there watching her eat, as everyone stole glances staring at him.

"Did you say you made this?" Etusko asked with a mouthful of chicken.

He leaned back in his chair and puffed his chest a bit. "Yeah. Something I whipped up this morning." he proudly admitted. "How is it?"

"This is the best fried chicken I have ever tasted."

"I was super into cooking in elementary school, took a small culinary summer school thing. Here, have some more." He pushed his portion to her. He had no intentions of eating, he made the lunch for her knowing that Minoru wouldn't be much of an obstacle for him. "I can't make anything really. Name and I'll bring it tomorrow for you to judge."

"Ok...bring in some" she took a moment to think of a challenge, all while chewing on the last piece of fried chicken. "Pork Yakisoba."

He looked at her a bit surprised. It was winter and yakisoba was a good winter food since the carbs helped you stay full longer. "You're on. I'll even wager something. If you end up loving the chicken more than the yakisoba...I'll leave you alone the rest of the week. But if you like the Yakisoba more I get to hang out with you for one whole week, and you can't tell me to go away."

Even though she didn't know how to read him, was he a condescending jerk, or a sensitive soul who wanted to truly get to know her? What was she? Was it wrong to feel a bit happy he was there? He kept her from thinking about Minoru and his memory loss. Etsuko was tired. Drained emotionally. "Ok." She gave a small smile.

The bell rang to let the kids know that they were allowed to move around the school freely. This caused Etsuko to stand up quickly. "I have to do something." She jogged out of the room, not caring if Ryota was following. As she turned the corner her eyes fell on Minoru who was also turning the corner the opposite direction. She was already going too fast to stop, but she wanted to. She wanted to change directions, to avoid him at all cost because seeing him, talking to him, would break her. Suddenly her world went black and she felt something clasp her forehead.

"Pardon us." Ryota intervened rather smoothly. He was able to stop Etsuko from running into Minoru by bringing his arm up and around her shoulders, he placed his hands over her eyes and gently , and gently pulled her into him, embracing her with one arm. He had his own reasons why he wanted the two of them to avoid one another.

It happened so fast. Minoru knew it was Etsuko and he had heard about the new guy who transferred the other day. He also heard the rumor of the two of them being engaged. He didn't understand it and when asked how he felt he told them they weren't dating so it wasn't a problem. "Sorry." He responded as he walked by, not giving it another thought.

Etsuko, still being held against his side, also was trying to replay the event. Once they had gotten far enough she felt Ryota let go over her, which allowed her to continue her journey. "Thanks…"

"Where are you going?" He had let go of her, but he made a mental note of the fact she didn't move away from him immediately. He followed her down the stairs the the second floor. Then they stopped outside of Yuki and Kyo's classroom.

"You can stay out here." she had to go and fix what she had messed up. Thoru was so great to her, and she had been able to meet her friends and get to know them. This morning she was rude, she said hurtful things and unlike her brother she wasn't going to allow herself to get away with it. Etsuko walked up to Tohru, Kyo, Yuki Uotani and Hanna.

"Etsuko, you're uniform looks much better." Tohru smiled.

"I washed it this morning." She responded to Tohru but kept her eyes on Hanajima. She was nervous. She never really had to atone for her actions, generally if she did it was because Akito would find some type of punishment. This was different. She had done something hurtful. The words she used were meant to cause pain. "Hanajima Senpai?"

The formality surprised everyone, even Ryota who had snuck in to see what she was doing.

If Hana looked surprised she didn't show it. "Yes?"

Etsuko took a deep breath in and bowed deeply. "I'm so sorry for what I said to you this morning!" She wasn't screaming, but it was loud enough for anyone in the room to hear. "It was wrong of me to call you such names especially since you've been nothing but kind to me. PLEASE FIND IT IN YOUR HEART TO FORGIVE ME." Tears were non-stop today. She had cried in the morning, and they were threatening to make another appearance now. She refused to act like Akito, going around hurting people because she could.

There was a long pause, everyone in the room was invested in the drama and waiting for Hana's response. Hana sat there a moment paying with the strands of hair in her braid. "What you said to me was hurtful Etsuko."

Etsuko winced a bit and only deepened her bow. "yes...I'm sorry."

"I have never been so formally addressed...and as a mentor I should take this moment and use it as guidance...that's why I refuse your apology."

Etsuko was a bit shocked and looked at her speechless.

"Oh come on Hanajima...she apologized you should cut her some slack." Uotani was genuinely surprised by her response.

Hana looked up at the ceiling as if recalling something. "Yes, and your efforts are noted." She looked down at her desk and took a piece of paper and crumbled it up. "This represents a person, and the words you use to hurt causes the person to become smaller, and the words can cause damage." She handed Etsuko the paper ball. "Many people think a simple apology will fix things, so try to make that paper go back to normal."

Etsuko opened the ball back up, the wrinkles would never come out. Even as she placed it on the desk to flatten it out with her hand, the paper managed to rip.

"You see, it's impossible to take back what you meant, the damage done."

"I understand...is there anything I can do to make it up to you.?"

Hana pondered for just a moment. "Ta-ko-ya-ki."

There was silence in the room. Etsuko wasn't sure if she was kidding, but nothing on her face indicated a joke. "You...want me to get you some takoyaki?"

"Yes, the ones by Shigure's house."

"What the hell was that big lecture about words! If all you wanted was some food you could have just said so!" Kyo didn't understand.

"Yes, but I had to teach some lessons, after all she called me senpai...isn't that our job as seniors."

Hana reminded her of Shigure, the way he went about things to get something totally unrelated. The lesson wasn't a loss of her though. She knew exactly how much words hurt. "Ok...Takoyaki first thing in the morning! Thank you!" She smiled and bowed one more time, since lunch break was almost over. As she walked out she noticed Ryota had watched the whole thing.

"Good job. It's hard to admit when you're wrong."

"I don't need lectures from you too." Etsuko walked past. He followed and was about to head back to his room when he remembered something, causing him to grab her gently by the arm.

"We have a meeting with Akito and my parents after school. I don't know what it's for but I'll be waiting for you at the entrance of the school."

A meeting? With Akito and his parents. Etsuko spent the rest of the day thinking about what the meeting could be about, so much so that she distracted herself from the event of yesterday.

A/N : Hello everyone! Chapter 14 was fun to write. I want to know who Etsuko ends up with...I haven't decided. I hope you enjoyed and I hope everyone is staying safe.