A Mess on the Mesa

Chapter Eleven: Life Without a Net

Mystery Inc. Headquarters, morning, the next day

Fred had been pacing ever since he had jerked awake with the realization that today was the end of his bachelor days. And he was scared to death. "Shaggy!"

Shaggy had arrived as Daphne was leaving and had thought of sleeping in just a little before getting ready for the wedding. Best men are not grooms and all eyes would be on Daphne anyway. Being woke up by a scream had not been in the plans.

"Like, what, Fred? What time is it?"

"Where's my socks? It's morning! Time to get up!"

"Have you looked at your feet?"

"There they are! How did you know?"

"Like, how long have we known each other? I bet you got them on the wrong feet again!"

"Thanks, Shagster, I think you are right. I'll have to start marking them!"

"You do that!"

"I'm going to call Daph."

"Why call her, she's probably asleep like I wish I was."

-Xxx

Half asleep, Daphne answered her cell without checking caller I. D., "Hello."

"Hi Daph..."

"Freddie! What a nice wake up call. I Wish it could be in person." She scrunched deeper under the covers. "I loved last night."

"Me to, Daph. What are you doing today?"

"A shower first, got to do my hair, makeup, get dressed and marry my wonderful lover."

"Need help with that shower?"

"Nice try, but no. Besides, my mother and Velma are here."

"Darn! By the way, Daph, do you know where my cufflinks are?"

"Try the top drawer of the chest, right hand side. You have the top drawer, mine is the second and stay out of it. And Freddie, no, you can't wear an ascot with your tuxedo. I love you. See you at the wedding." Disconnecting the call, she threw the covers back and headed for the shower.

Showered, hair dried, dressed in lacy finery she stepped into the Ivory wedding dress; the Ivory coloring only slightly darker than her own alabaster skin. Layers of Duchess Satin lace and hand beading accented the embroidered flowers covering the gown and enhancing the off the shoulder bodice.

"If he makes you happy, I guess I can be happy for you." Her mother helped ease the dress up. "It is a beautiful dress and you are a beautiful bride."

"I loved it the first time I saw it." Daphne held the dress in place while her mother raised the hidden zipper. "Thank you, mother. I think I can handle everything from here. Would you check how Velma is doing, then you can do your "Mother-of-the-Bride" thing. Just make sure dad is there on time."

"He will be. Just you make sure you don't daydream about Fred and be late yourself."

-Xxx

Compared to what one would expect, the wedding party was small. Fred shifted from one foot to another in nervous activity. "You sure you have the ring?"

"Will you stop already, Fred. You'd think you were facing a firing squad not getting married."

"There's a difference?"

Fred and Shaggy both jerked when the bells of a church announced the time of ten am. The Blake limousine pulled up and Daphne and Velma exited with assistance from the chauffeur. Velma adjusted her dress and pushed her glasses up on her nose. The music announced the beginning of the ceremony and she started up the aisle, coming to a stop opposite Shaggy who could only stare.

The music changed to the Bride's March, Daphne and her father began their walk. Fred thought he had never seen her look so beautiful as right now. The sights and sounds that surrounded him intensified; the scent of the flowers drifting on the gentle breeze, the sound of a fish that populated the man made pool, even the quacking of the ducks seemed to add to her magical journey.

Sunshine shone brighter as she walked slowly down the aisle toward him. The camera in his mind snapped picture after picture he would cherish for years to come. Less than an hour later the minister introduced the new couple, "May I be the first to introduce Mr. and Mrs. Fred Jones."

They had just enough time to rush home, change into traveling clothes and make their flight out. The trip to Coolsville by Uncle Matt had been long and tiring, for a couple in love it only seemed long. The trip from airport to the Broken Arrow Ranch was shorter.

"Congratulations, you made good time," John Long Bow welcomed them. "Everything is all set up at Silver Spruce. You have time to ride out or you can spend the night here and ride out in the morning."

-Xxx

They put the horses in the corrals, walking hand in hand while carrying their luggage to the front door. Fred started to open the door when Daphne stopped him, "Fred, there's a note."

Daphne removed the note, careful not to tear the fragile paper. The dying sunlight was enough for her to read the text. She read through the missive silently, then started laughing, "listen, Freddie. 'Congratulations you love birds. My handmade wedding present is inside. May you enjoy it for many years to come.' It's signed John Long Bow."

"Well, let's see what his present is." A "Yipe!" escaped Daphne's throat when Fred swept her off her feet, opened the door and crossed the threshold; sitting his new wife back on solid ground, they both stared at the fireplace...and the full sized bear skin rug laying in front of it.

"Is that..." Daphne whispered.

"Yes, Daphne, that's our old friend."

"Freddie," she smiled sweetly, running her fingers through his thick blond hair, "why don't you light the fire..."

"Daphne, I can't..."

"Jeepers, Fred. This is our wedding night! The night every girl dreams and fantasizes about..."

"Daph, I..."

"And we have a hand tanned, real bear skin rug to lay on..."

"Listen, Daph..."

"Don't interrupt me, I'm in full wife mode and I'm on a roll! We're at a mountain retreat all by ourselves...and you're telling me you can't light a fire?"

"Daph, will you marry me? Oh, you did. Now you listen..."

"Yes, Freddie?" She looked deep into his eyes, pulling him down for a kiss.

"Don't interrupt! I'm in full husband mode! I never said I couldn't light a fire, I said I can't."

"Why can't you?"

"I'm matchless, Daph. I think we need to split up and look for some matches."

"Yes, dear. Why don't you look for matches and I'll go slip into something more comfortable." She left him standing in front of the cold fireplace. "And Freddie," she looked back over her shoulder seductively, "the matches are in the vase on the mantle."

-Xxx

It was cold in the early morning. Daphne smiled, snuggling closer to Fred. Her eyes fluttered open; there was some one or some thing in the house! The noise had occurred once, she waited for the disturbance to be repeated. It wasn't.

"Freddie!" She shook his shoulder, "There's some one in the house."

"Wha...you hear something, Daph? It can't be squirrels in the attic. While they were working on the house, they put in one way traps. Squirrels can get out but once out they can't come back in."

"Quiet! I'm getting a headache. We have to go see who broke in."

"We?" Fred did a double take when she got out of bed, slipping into her peignoir gown; a light plum colored bit of gossamer material that left nothing to the imagination. "You wearing that to confront a burglar?"

"You didn't mind in front of the fireplace."

"We didn't have a burglar either."

"It's simple, Freddie. I'll distract whoever it is and you jump out and clobber him."

"You'd distract the Pope in that...okay, you go first."

"Me? Where did my knight in shining armor go?"

"It was your idea. You distract, I clobber."

"I'm getting a major headache...okay, let's go."

And so with that settled, Daphne led the way down the hallway. Every thing was quiet except for the occasional popping of the wood in the hearth.

"Is that sound what you heard, Daphne?"

"No, Freddie. What I heard was a higher pitched sound. Are you checking out my butt?"

"Yes. It's a beautiful distraction."

"Thank you, but focus. We're almost there." Daphne looked back and smiled sweetly.

Daphne came up short, Fred bumping into her when they entered the living room. Fred jumped out from behind the red head, ready to clobber anyone he saw. What they saw would make anyone stop and stare.

Sitting on the bear skin rug was an American Indian in traditional garb; he was barefooted, a pair of moccasins lay beside the rug. "I like."

But it was the cowboy with a black stetson that held their attention. He turned to face the couple.

"I'm getting a world class headache!" Daphne tried to pull the gown closer together but that only accented her curves and what lay beneath the sheer material. "I'll fix coffee, strong coffee."

Daphne skirted the two apparitions on her way to the kitchen. Fred stood dumbfounded in his boxers, not sure what to do. Clobbering seemed out of the question.

"None for me, thanks ma'am. I haven't quite got the hang of handling solid objects yet." His eyes followed the young lady. "You probably heard me rattling a coffee cup earlier. Being dead does have its drawbacks. Not being able to have that morning coffee is one of them."

"It's not for you, it's for me." Daphne disappeared into the kitchen, sounds of coffee being prepared could be heard.

"You might try a spoon full of sugar, it helps the medicine go down." The cowboy turned his attention to Fred. "Good mornin'."

"What...what are you doing here?" Fred stammered, "Daph, maybe you should go get a robe or something on."

"Not a bad idea, ma'am. I'm not that dead...yet."

"This from a man standing in his boxers. You are so cute." Daphne quipped on her return but continued to the bedroom.

"You and the lady found my body and arranged a decent burial. I'm beholding to you for that." The cowboy began, then stopped when Daphne reappeared in a thick robe, holding it closed with both hands.

"My name is...was...Billy Joe. I wanted to thank you for what you did. I asked my barefooted friend here what I should do. As you probably guessed, I did take some gold out of the cave. I want you two to have it; but there is a problem."

"The curse? Oh, my coffee!" Daphne asked then rushed to save the coffee.

"No, there's no curse now, thanks to you two. The problem is, I have to show you where I hid the gold or draw a map. I never drew a map and now I can't hold anything solid so no map."

The sky was turning a rosy pink when the two apparitions shimmered and disappeared. Fred and Daphne just stared at each other trying to come to terms with what they had just experienced.

"Well, Daph, looks like we have a mystery on our hands." Fred took his new bride in his arms, kissing her tenderly. The coffee forgotten, her robe dropped to the floor.

"Yes, dear." 'Living a mysterious life without a safety net is going to be interesting' she thought.

THE END