Prussia: Wassup you awesome readers?! I, the awesome Prussia, will be introducing the latest chapter of this and awesomely breaking the fourth wall by doing it! So I have a sticky note here with some stuff from the author written here, so let's see... *reads card* 'Be nice to readers' blah blah 'Be succinct' blah 'mention'- *throws card away* Yanno what? The awesome me don't need no cue cards! *snaps fingers* Basically the author bought Animal Crossing and is busy being a spazz over that.

Germany: Bruder, you should have introduced the chapter by now

Prussia: I'm getting there, West! Who invited you, anyways?

Germany: The author. She knew you wouldn't shut up

Prussia: Was? How dare you! I'm wounded!

Germany: Well can you be wounded after you begin the chapter?

Prussia: Well it's not my fault she's too damn lazy to be here!

Germany: She's... going through a tough time with an... ex-friend

Prussia: Arschloch! Wer ist das? I'll kill them!

Germany: *sigh* I apologise on my brother's behalf. I also apologise for the lack of an author, but I believe she said she'd be out buying weaponry because she had 'bitches to kill'... So Ja... here's the chapter

Prussia: I was meant to introduce it! Dammit West!

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Chapter Fifty Five- CelticGirl7, JigglyJelloWithCoconut and Karebear's Requests (Part One)

~Fourth Of July~

"You're not going to say something lame like, 'America, my body is your present', are you?" North asked from his place reclined on the sofa, eating a box of chocolates that England could have sworn he had hidden. He sent a glare over to his younger brother by way of a reply. The lad held his hands up in mock surrender, but he was grinning. "Okay okay, just wondering."

"I don't find any of this amusing," Scotland said resolutely from where he was leant against the wall and was scowling at anything and everything. "I preferred it when you were depressed on this day."

"Belt up, bastard," England grunted, flitting over to a cupboard and rifling around in it for a few minutes. "Now where on earth is the...?" he muttered to himself, eyebrows furrowing.

"Brawd?" Wales asked, going over to his brother and placing a hand on his shoulder, smiling softly. "What happened? I mean... you seem completely normal. Are you sure you're okay?"

"I am fine, trust me," England assured, placing a hand over the Welshman's and smiling a little.

"Geez, what happened last year? This is a one-eighty for you, bro," North drawled, looking over to England curiously who blushed a little, but he was still smiling.

"We just... worked out some differences," he said, pointedly ignoring the way Scotland was pretending to gag in the background and North started making kissy faces.

"But..." Wales said, biting his lip and wrapping his arms around England from behind in a sort of bear-hug. "It's also, you know, that time."

England stiffened momentarily before laughing shakily. "Look, all you gits are too concerned. I'm perfectly fine, see?" To prove his point, England had manoeuvred out of the other's hold and held his arms out. "I feel fine."

Scotland narrowed his eyes. "Well I don't think you are fine. It's the fucking fourth, a day when you're usually suicidal, and it's also the-"

"Scotland," England said sternly, "I'm fine. Now if you really hate this, then you don't need to come to the party. With the ghastly way you've acted towards America, I'm astonished you got an invite."

"As if I'd leave you at such a crucial time," the red-head muttered, seemingly deflating and almost looking worried. "Are you sure-"

"I'm just going to grab his present from upstairs and then we can get going," the gentleman finished quickly, pushing past his brothers to make his way up the stairs. He was just fine.

Prussia: The fourth of July? She's doing that? At the end of July?

Germany: It's clearly a device, Bruder

Prussia: Well whatever, the fourth is too mainstream anyways

Germany: Please tell me you aren't a, what was it now? A 'Hipster'?

Prussia: Pffft, naw! The awesome me is too awesome for that! I have too much hashgtag yolo-swag to be hipster

Germany: Did you honestly just say 'hashtag'? Are you Poland now?

Prussia: Silence your unawesome self! You wouldn't understand!

Germany: You're ruining the chapter, dummkopf!

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~Twenty-Second Of July~

"It's not on mate!" Australia exclaimed loudly, hands gesticulating wildly as if that would get his point across more. "It's time for Mr Star-Spangled Yank to realise that England isn't just his!"

New Zealand just hummed from the Aussie's side, laughing a little at his passion. "I thought you liked him ever since he saved your life."

Australia paused and scratched the back of his head. "Well, yeah, but..." he sighed dramatically, "I'm conflicted, Zea! The guy seems kinda cool but..."

"You think he's hogging England?"

"Yeah! I mean, we haven't seen him since the fourth!"

Australia and New Zealand, on a mission to find their mother, were currently walking up the driveway to America's house. As per the norm, Australia's 'koala' was sat chilling on his owner's shoulder, looking around the new scenery curiously before he pawed his way up onto the brunette's head. Australia laughed happily and stroked his pet before he looked ahead at the house coming into view.

"It's not that I think he's a bad guy, but he doesn't have to be such a... such a..." Oz trailed of, trying to think of the word he was after. Zea waited patiently and after a moment there was a Eureka moment. "Motherfucker!"

New Zealand blinked before laughing. "All of that build up and you come up with 'motherfucker'?"

However Australia wasn't listening and instead had a wide-eyed look before pulling a face. "Ew, mate, I just thought of something! America's barely older than us! We won't have to start calling him 'dad' will we?"

The violet haired nation (he had no clue what sort of dye Oz used, but the bloody stuff wouldn't come out and he'd actually grown rather accustomed to it now) hummed, stretching his arms above his head briefly. "Well I won't. Besides, I always got the feeling that mum would be the 'dad' in their relationship, so to speak."

"Really? Ya think so, mate?"

"Yeah, although if he isn't... Oz, does that make America a literal motherfucker? I mean, he used to be like us, right?"

"Holy shit! Yeah!" Oz said, clapping his hands together as if in enlightenment and startling his koala, causing him to hang rather precariously from his back and growl a little. "Oops, sorry bud," Australia apologised, pulling the marsupial into his arms and tickling his tummy to make it happy again as he said, "Talk about an Oedipus Complex."

"Oh, but they did have that war... And England isn't our biological mum so..."

"True. Guess it ain't that weird after all." Oz smiled as his koala made an approving sound and snuggled into his chest and he began laughing. "I think we're just a very dysfunctional family, and I wouldn't trade you guys for anything."

Zea smiled and nodded. "Same. Has anyone else seen England?"

"Well I was playing cricket with cousin India the other day and he said he hasn't seen England. I called Jamaica and he said he'd not seen him either. Same goes for South Africa."

New Zealand bit his lip. "I paid a visit to Falklands the other day and he seemed a bit down because England hasn't returned a call or something."

"That's it! We're storming the yank's place and getting mum back!"

And so it came to pass that the Australasia duo were hammering on America's door demanding answers. A very tousled looking hero answered the door, his hair ruffled up and his dress all wrinkled. "Huh?" he asked, a little blearily, "What are you dudes-"

"England!" Australia called, pushing past America and walking into his house.

"Aroha mai," [sorry] said Zea as he also joined his partner. "We just wanted to see England so-"

"England?" America asked, pulling a face and pouting. "He ain't here."

Australia emerged from the coat cupboard with three things to say. "Okay, one: England wasn't in there. Two: Why the hell is there a bazooka in your coat cupboard mate? And three: WHAT?!"

America leant against the wall and puffed his cheeks up like toddlers were prone to doing. "I said he ain't here. I haven't seen him for a while. He said he was coming to my birthday but..." He scowled. "I should've known nothing really changed. He didn't show up and I didn't bother trying to talk to him after."

Australia and New Zealand shot each other worried glances but America continued on, "I mean, fine, don't freakin' show, but then say you're not gonna come! He even said he would and-" he let out a sigh of frustration. "Whatever. I'm so done. He ain't here, so can you guys go?"

"That makes no sense though," New Zealand contemplated. "He told me he was going."

"Same here," Oz agreed. "He seemed excited about it if anything. I haven't been able to reach his mobile since the fourth though, same with his home phone, so I just assumed he's here."

"I keep telling you he's not," America repeated, though he was looking a little concerned now. "He's okay though, right?"

"What if he was abducted by aliens or something?!" Australia suddenly exclaimed, eyes wide, and before Zea could say anything Tony decided that he would make that very moment the moment he would make his grand entrance.

"Fuck?" he asked, and suddenly there were two screaming nations pointing at him.

"Dudes calm down, this is my bro!" America said, but the damage was already done with Australia pulling out his boomerang, his koala leaping into action, and New Zealand looking about ready to rugby tackle the extraterrestrial.

x~x~x~x~x

It was only after America got his house back into some sort of workable order after it had been practically demolished, and Tony had briefly returned to his home planet because he 'didn't have the time to deal with this shit', that America, Australia, and New Zealand were stood in front of England's house intent on getting answers from the AWOL nation. Even France and Prussia, when questioned about it, had no idea where he was.

A worn out looking Northern Ireland answered the door, looking at the others and blinking in confusion before he yelped and tried to close the door on them.

"Wait, Uncle!" Australia protested, pushing back against the door.

"That's another strange one, isn't it?" Zea mused. "He's younger than us, but-"

"Zea, we've agreed we're kinda messed up. Now help me push!" With a collaborative effort North ended up buried under three nations who weren't exactly known for being light.

"Oi! Let me out!" he demanded, wriggling about uncomfortably and gasping for air when he finally broke free. "And what the feck are you eejits doing?!" he demanded, looking a bit like a ruffled bird.

"Uncle North, where's England?" Australia asked, and a flash of something passed across the russet haired nation's face before he waved a hand about saying, "I don't keep tabs on my brother, how should I know?"

"You're stood in his house," America pointed out, raising an eyebrow.

"I'm house-sitting," North replied easily.

"But I haven't been able to contact Wales or Scotland either," Zea said, "What about them?"

"They all went out together."

"But where to?"

"How should I know?"

"Why now?"

"Why are you asking me?!" North huffed, getting irritable now.

"When was the last time you saw them?" Australia asked.
"Have they been away for long?" Zea questioned.
"Why did he skip out on my birthday?"

"Bloody hell, I didn't expect the bloody Spanish Inquisition!" North bellowed, crossing his arms and huffing.

Quite suddenly, Spain, accompanied by Italy and Romano, burst through the door dressed completely in red. "Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!"

Prussia: Did she seriously make that joke?

Germany: Bruder-

Prussia: No one's going to get that at all!

Germany: *sighs* Well you never know until you try. Only about three people got the 221B reference a while back, but they all gained Jaffa Cakes for noticing

Prussia: Well I suppose it is an awesome reference. It's hilarious for those who know

Germany: And for those who don't they can just assume the author is on crack and has lost it

Prussia: Kesesese~

Germany: Now stop interrupting!

"Something seems off here," Australia said, narrowing his eyes and looking at his uncle critically while America bundled the three new unwelcome guests out the door before he did something similar.

"There is only one answer to all of this," America said, placing a hand on his hip and pointing at North, "This is a case of murder most foul! Wanting the entire UK to yourself, you murdered all of your brothers in cold blood and hid the evidence!"

North's mouth actually dropped open before he shook his head. "Are you really that retarded?"

"I'm surprised he even knows the difference 'England' and 'The United Kingdom', to be honest," Zea stage whispered to Oz.

"...There's a difference?" America questioned.

"Never mind."

Northern Ireland, seemingly tired of dealing with the others, flounced off into the kitchen.

"All right, I say we do a good-cop-bad-cop routine," America said, rubbing his chin in thought. "Ireland clearly knows something."

Even though the other two cringed at the wrong name, they decided not to pass comment and counted America damned lucky that Northern Ireland wasn't around to hear that lest they have a repeat of what happened on the camping trip.

"One of us can go in neutral; the other two will be the cops. Capisce?"

Oz and Zea nodded and the three of them crept up to the kitchen where North was sipping some tea. America looked to his partners in crime- or, partners in law enforcement- and mouthed 'three, two, one' before they all leapt into the kitchen.

The hero boldly pressed the smaller nation against the kitchen counter, causing the poor Northern Irishman to let out a surprised squeak before his eyes widened in terror.

"Where's our mum you piece of shit?!" Australia demanded, standing next to America and looking menacing while New Zealand grabbed a kitchen knife and brandished it threateningly.

"Woah woah, time out!" America called. "We can't all be the bad cop!"

"You never specified who did what," New Zealand stated matter-of-factly, though he did place the kitchen knife back down (albeit reluctantly).

"I wanna be the bad cop," Oz insisted, "It's the more fun one."

"No way: my idea, I get dibs," America proclaimed.

"That's not very 'heroic' though, is it? You should be the good cop!"

"No way, I-"

"FOR FECK'S SAKE SHUT UP THE LOT OF YOU!" North screamed, still being pinned by America, who loosened his grip. "Christ, I'll tell you all I know. You're all fucking loopy."

A few mumbled apologies and some warm drinks later, the four nations were sat in England's living room, discussing information.

"Honestly, I'm not too sure myself- and that's the truth," he stressed when he saw America getting ready to pounce again. "All I know is that it's 'that time'."

"...England's having his period?"

"He's not a woman and nations don't have periods anyway!" North shouted, but he calmed himself down. "Honestly, they keep me out of it sometimes. This is apparently something that dates way back before I even existed, and when I ask all I ever get is a vague answer."

"So you really don't know?" Australia asked, genuinely getting worried now.

"Not really. I went routing around in England's room to see if I could find him or any clues. I found a lunar calendar that I thought he'd need for his spells, but a whole block of days had been circled in red and the number '600' was written inside. I honestly don't know what it means though." He buried his face in his hands. "All I know is that, every few decades, something to do with the moon happens and England disappears for a week or two, so for him to not be here now I suppose is sort of normal. Scotland and Wales never disappear too though... I thought they'd be back by now but I just..."

New Zealand placed a reassuring hand on his uncle's back. "Don't worry, I'm sure they're safe."

"You guys," America said, linking his fingers together and looking out over them seriously. "I think the answer here is obvious. Lunar calendars, red circling specific dates... Iggy is a werewolf."

"Can someone please just get him out?" North groaned, "He's lowering the IQ of the entire room."

America huffed, but Zea tried to steer things back from the realms of stupidity.

"I'll go and see if I can find anything. When did you last see them?"

North sniffed and leant against Zea's shoulder. "The last time I saw England, he was going upstairs to go and grab the yank's present."

"Really? He was?" America asked, perking up before he bit his lip. "So then... what happened?" he asked cautiously, suddenly feeling extremely guilty for cursing England out when he didn't show up.

"He took ages, so Scotland and Wales sent each other some look that meant something. They told me to stay downstairs, and they've all been gone ever since."

"Right," America nodded, standing up. "I'll go and investigate." He moved to the stairs and wasn't all that surprised when Australia and New Zealand followed after. North just lay down on the sofa and wondered how the hell England had raised those three without going completely mad.

It was decided that Zea would investigate all guest bedrooms along with the master one, with Oz and America dividing up the remaining rooms between them. It was after a rather uneventful fifteen minutes and nothing of value found that America slumped his way into the main corridor and leant against the wall. How do you just lose three nations? They couldn't have just disappeared, and the UK was still stable, so they hadn't all died, thank goodness.

But... then where were they? It wasn't good for a nation to be away from their country for too long, not that a couple of weeks was enough to warrant any worrying just yet, far from it, but... Yeah, he felt pretty bad about being so annoyed at England now. He sighed and looked up to the ceiling, and that was when he spotted it.

"Uh, hey guys," America said, and when Oz and Zea poked their heads out of their respective rooms he pointed upwards to where a panel had been moved in the ceiling. "Anyone think that the attic might have something to do with the disappearance? England is way too fussy to not cover it up properly once he's used it."

"Yeah, you're right," Australia agreed, looking up before clapping his hands together. "We need a ladder."

Ten minutes later after rooting around in England's storage room, the three of them were ascending into the dark and dusty depths of England's attic. Zea was the one who located the switch and they took a moment to look around. Surprisingly, there wasn't a thin layer of dust covering everything as one might expect from an attic, so it looked as though it was regularly visited and regularly cleaned as well. There were a few boxes here and there, but nothing of real merit. What was odd, though, was the fact that there was a ladder already up here. It was almost as if this was an attempt to stop anyone from accessing the attic...

And then they saw it.

'It' was a wardrobe. It perhaps looked rather unassuming, being a piece of furniture and all, but it was quite a lovely piece, carved out of strong mahogany, coated with a lavish finish. There were wonderful tribal-like shapes carved lovingly into the wood, the intricate patterns weaving in such a way that they almost seemed to be moving if one stared at them long enough.

"You don't think..." Zea began, eyeing the wardrobe before flicking his eyes over to Oz, who nodded.

"Yeah, I do."

"What's going on?" America asked, not liking to be out of the loop.

"You're looking at the gateway to Narnia," the brunette explained, "And I'm willing to bet that's where we'll find England, Scotland, and Wales."

America gulped, but looked sceptical. "I thought you were joking when you talked about Narnia."

"Why would I joke?" Oz asked, walking over to the wardrobe and running a hand over one of the doors. "So."

"So." The other two replied.

"Do we go in?"

After a few moments of silence America steeled himself and joined Australia. "Yeah. England wouldn't normally be gone this long, right?"

"Right," the violet haired nation said as he went over as well. "This isn't normal, especially for all three of them to leave for so long at once, and without even telling anyone... Something isn't right."

"Well let's go then," Australia said, grasping the door handles and pulling, revealing a lot of old fur coats and a musty scent. America looked set to challenge the other two again, say that they needed to lie down for thinking that a whole world could be inside of a wardrobe, but Oz pressed ahead like the explorer he was, disappearing behind the coats with Zea quickly following after. And so the hero thought he'd give it one more go, and honestly lost any and all coherency when he emerged from the dank wardrobe into an absolutely breath-taking land.

Australia grinned at the look of wonder on America's face. "Welcome to Narnia, mate."

And then, without any warning, a bright light flashed behind them, drenching the immediate area in whiteness and blinding them momentarily. When they turned around, suddenly everything was breath-taking but for a much more worrying reason: the way out had vanished.

"Tiko... that's not supposed to happen," Zea said, biting his lip. "I think... we're in trouble."

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Prussia: Will our brave heroes make it out of Narnia alive? Will the mystery of the missing Brits' disappearance be solved? Will the awesome me be returning to introduce more chapters?

Germany: No, seeing as you completely ruined this one

Prussia: Will the author ever get the hell off of Animal Crossing and stop yelling at Tom Nook long enough to make another appearance?! Find out next time on It's Not What You Think!

Germany: No not yet! Honestly, you introduced this all wrong and now you're ending it too early. Ahem *clears throat* The author would like to ask for the support of the readers. If you have any suggestions for what you would like to happen during the adventures in Narnia, then please share your idea(s) via reviewing. She will try to incorporate as many ideas as possible *smiles in an awkward German fashion*

Prussia: And even if you don't have a suggestion, just review anyways! Let me know how awesome I am, ja? *winks* Support is always nice~

Germany: I'm just glad we've moved away from the meeting room for once. All of the inappropriate activities England and Amerika get up to are unacceptable

Prussia: Kesese~ You say that, West, but you're sending a porn star into space!

Germany: *blushes* B-Bruder, that's just-

Prussia: What's she called again? *snaps fingers* Oh ja! Coco Brown! You say you're against kinkiness but then you go and-

Germany: WE ARE ENDING THE CHAPTER NOW

xx-animeXalchemist-xx

Prussia: She signs it when she wasn't even here? Lazy~