Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin or BBC or any stuff like that

Author's Note

So I haven't done any tags on the fourth season yet...but this passed episode seemed to call out my name. This, by far, was the saddest, most depressing episode I have ever seen in...I may go as far to say in any tv series that I've seen.

SO MUCH CRAP HAPPENED!

HOW could the producers put that amount of SADNESS into ONE episode! Don't they know what it does to us fanatics!

I am beyond depressed about this episode. And I need to write to express my sadness. So here you go.

This takes place just after Arthur is finished telling Merlin about his view on magic...

"...All I know is that I've lost both my parents to magic..."

Merlin stood frozen where he was, he wondered for a moment if he could see his heart beat. He felt it might pound right out of his chest.

He stared with almost pleading eyes at his friend as he continued to speak the words that seemed to make the warlock's worst nightmares a reality.

"It's...pure evil." The now-king said in a determined, but fragile voice.

...No...Please, please let him have said ANYTHING but that.

"I'll never lose sight of that again."

Merlin's could only stare at the prince and give a tiny nod as he felt his spirit sink down into a depth of himself that was so cold he could feel it begin to freeze out any happiness that had been in him.

It was lost. All his work, every motive that had kept him pushing on, had been shattered. He felt his being shiver in response, and he could barely contain the tears of pure despair from leaking out.

Two knocks at the door jolted Merlin out of his reverie, but it wasn't enough to break his gaze with the prince.

The warlock watched as his friend turned his head in response to the knocks, then slowly stood up, looking every much as a king should. He was firm. Determined, courageous, every bit a king as he should be.

Yet all Merlin could feel was utter helplessness.

He continued to stare at his friend as he exited the rooms and gently shut the door behind him.

When he was out of sight, the warlock didn't even bother to try and stop the tears from spilling down his face.

It was all his fault!

All was lost! Everything, everything he'd done was useless, EVERYTHING! Nothing mattered now! He'd forever sealed his face by pushing the rules of the game too far...he'd gone too far this time...

His future was ruined. Just one mistake had cost him the rest of his life. And he could never change it. WHAT could possibly make Arthur see the good in magic ever again! There was NOTHING that could possibly change his mind...And it was all his fault.

"No..." He so breathed as a fresh tear fell on the table that he leaned against; he was so depressed he could hardly support himself. He'd ruined everything...

No...

It wasn't...HIS fault...it was Morgana.

Merlin began to see red as his anger flared out of control. His fingers clutched hard at the ends of the table so that his knuckles turned white.

Morgana had done this; she'd broken the future that could have been paradise for her and all her kind. It was her fault!

"NO!" He finally screamed and slammed a fist as hard as he could onto the table, a nearby vase shattered into a million pieces as his magic responded hotly to his anger.

Finally the warlock let himself sink slowly down onto the cold floor. Sobs of true despair racked his body and he didn't care to wipe away the tears that streamed down his cheeks. He couldn't stand it, knowing that everything had been lost because of her.

Deep down inside however, the warlock knew that it hadn't been just Morgana...

It was his fault too...

The thought was enough to bring Merlin to the conclusion that he should simply lie there and never get up again. Maybe he should stop breathing and die...

He knew that would never happen though.

Arthur still needed him.

Warlock or not, he was his friend, and at this moment, his friend needed him more than ever.

He'd always had been there to ensure his safety...whether he thought about how his future depended on it hardly ever crossed his mind as he protected his prince-king.

It had never been an option. It was an instinct, not because of his future, maybe in the past it had been, but it was because of the bond they shared: The true bond of brotherhood that kept Merlin fighting.

And no matter what, he would not let that bond break. Nodding to himself, the young warlock wiped away the tears that seemed to soak into his very soul, and somehow managed to get up from the ground.

The warlock closed his eyes for just a moment and calmed himself.

...He was Arthur's loyal friend...and no matter what, he would stand by him till the day he died. Warlock or not, he would not fail his King,

His friend.

Once again giving a firm nod, Merlin walked confidently towards the door and pulled it open.

Any challenge his king would now face, they would face together.

Damn the future.

Okay, that just made me feel a HECK of a lot better. Ugh, I REALLY needed to get that out. Gosh, that was SUCH a depressing episode. I seriously teared up...okay I cried at that part when Arthur was announcing his hatred of magic. That's why I wrote about this scene.

So I hope you enjoyed it...I guess...

So how about that next episode?...kinda looking forward to it! Hopefully it won't be such a heart breaker.

All right thanks for reading guys, and please review! If you wanna talk 'bout this episode or any crap just PM me!

C ya lata!

DragonGem777