My Mom never told me she was a witch. My dad never told me he was a wizard.

You know why? Because they aren't. If they aren't, how can I be one? I'm just that kid in the background that weird stuff seems to revolve around. I've got no friends, I can't even do addition, and that's not even contributing to the fact that I'm a total klutz and I can't seem to do anything right. The only thing I can manage to do is eavesdrop, since nobody even knows I'm there. Then I tell someone to try and make them like me, and they still don't like me and the people I listened to just hate me even more.

And the name Gilderoy Lockhart doesn't help much at all. I'm just a lonely, sad, weirdo who got invited to some school for other weirdos. But I'm going to that school, and I'm making my mark. I'm making a name for myself. I'm going to be the guy the girls want, and the guy that the other guys want to be. I'm going to write books about myself and they'll sell millions. And I'll do it by listening to other people and using magic to make sure they can't tell.

And I'm going to magic myself pretty. That's how I'm going to become a magic person in the world of magic. For once, people are going to be looking at me. Gilderoy Lockhart, the man with the magic personality.

The only person occupying their minds will be Magical Me.