-1Regarding Sideswipe - 10

A/N: Wow, so here we are at the end of the story. Ten chapters, not that bad I guess. I know the last couple were kind of like "omg, no way!" but it worked out for the best. No more sequels in this series. I think this is the way it's supposed to end because my inner voices are now kicking my butt to finish Refund so I can start posting the one shots that I have to go with it but anywho…

Thanks for all the great reviews of this fic. Thanks for following it and for keeping up with me even when I abandoned this one for a while in favor of adding more to Refund.

Enjoy and I hope to get lots of reviews for this final chapter. Don't let me down!

(One week later)

Sideswipe's POV

I was sitting at his side when his optics finally came back online. At first, I wasn't really looking at him. I was reading through a data pad of things Prowl had left me to look over. I'd have probably missed it except, his hand moved and I turned and his optics were bright, and focused on me for a brief moment before they dimmed slightly and he looked so young and so afraid that, for a moment, I thought maybe it had just been a fluke.

But then he spoke and I knew it was him.

"Sides," he whispered softly and I nodded, setting down the data pad and reaching out to brush my fingertips down the side of his face.

"I'm here, bro," I answered him quietly. He looked at me again and I saw the energon in his optics spill over onto his face.

"I'm sorry," he choked out softly and I leaned closer, brushing a kiss against his face as I did so.

"Don't be, Sunny," I told him softly. "It'll be okay. I promise." His optics dimmed again after that and when Ratchet came in half a breem later, I told him what had happened. He checked the monitors and made a few notes, but he didn't seem as excited as I thought he should be.

"I'm only being cautious," he explained when I questioned him about it. "I want him to wake up and be healthy and normal again just as much as you and Prowl, but you have to understand. He took and large overdose of that drug. I don't know what it did to his memory banks or his cpu in general. I won't know until he's fully awake and functioning." I know what he's referring to and I try to ignore it, but it's there, nagging me in the back of my mind…

Sunstreaker may wake up and join the land of the living again… but that doesn't necessarily mean I'll get my brother back… or that Prowl will get his lover back… because the reality is, whatever drug Sunstreaker injected into his system could very well leave him with permanent mental damage.

But I'll still love him… and I'll take care of him… no matter what, I will never leave his side.

And I'm sure now that Prowl never will either…

And just like that... as I think of him, I look and find him standing in the doorway watching us both. He's always watched over us, even before he and Sunstreaker became lovers. I just never noticed. I wish I had…

He walks over and brushes a hand along the side of Sunny's face before he leans down to kiss him gently. Then he walks over to me and repeats the gesture with me. It's the same as it's been for the past week. He refuses to let either one of us go. Sometimes I think it's through his will alone that we're both still alive and in one piece. He keeps us strong.

I look back at Sunny as I tell Prowl about what happened. He smiles a little and holds Sunny's hand.

"Next time try to stay awake a little longer, Sunshine," he whispers softly. "I miss hearing your voice and I miss the color of your optics when you first wake…" And I know that tone of voice now, the one that means he's close to tears and yet is still trying to be strong. He looks over at me and sighs softly.

"You have patrol in the morning. I'll sit with him." I nod and stand from the seat and brush a hand down the side of his face. It is all the intimacy he will allow me for now and I'll take what I can get. I step around him and lean down to kiss my twin on the forehead.

"Love you. I'll be back tomorrow." There is no movement, no acknowledgement that he's heard me and I stand back up and walk from the infirmary. I can only hope that tomorrow will prove to be better for us all.

Prowl's POV

Sideswipe is on patrol when Sunstreaker wakes that morning. I've been watching him all night and when his optics come online there is nothing I want more than to pull him into my arms and hold him for as long as I can. He looks at me and smiles softly at me. I reach out and take his hand in mine.

"I love you," I tell him because I won't let another chance go by…I won't let the words slip away before I say them. And he smiles at me and squeezes my hand.

"I love you, too," he tells me. "I'm sorry we couldn't get things right," he whispers.

"It's okay, Sunny," I tell him softly, leaning over to kiss him gently. "We have time to get it right. I'm not going to leave and I'm not going to push either of you away again."

"Glad to hear it," he whispers softly. "Tell Sideswipe I love him when he comes back, would you?"

"Of course," I tell him…

…and then it happens…

His optics dim, flicker once, and then go black. Machines start screaming around him and Ratchet and Wheeljack are there, shoving me out of the way and I'm watching in complete astonishment as Ratchet tries to shock Sunny's spark back into existence once more…

I'm still standing there several minutes later, unable to move or say anything, when Ratchet covers the yellow protoform with a sheet and turns to look over at me. Wheeljack has gone to inform Optimus but I still can't get it through my own mind.

He can't be gone.

But Ratchet tells me that he is, that we've lost him, and as much as I want to break down and cry, all I can think of is… where is Sideswipe and who is with him on patrol…

Which is about the time Ironhide walks in, Sideswipe in his arms, the red mech seizing and fritzing, trying to fade and yet fighting to live at the same time. Ratchet takes him and I'm forced out of the infirmary by Prime who has followed Ironhide through the base…

What will I do if I lose them both…

What will I do…

Prime's POV

"It is never easy when we lose comrades, brothers, lovers, friends. Each loss takes a part of us, and commits a part of the one we've lost to our own sparks and memories. It is even harder when that loss is so sudden and we are not prepared for the loss that comes and we grieve in such a way that we feel as if nothing will ever heal our sparks again. But we must always remember that, even though the one we bury can no longer be seen or felt, they reside within the Matrix and one day, we shall all again be one…"

There are times when I hate my job as a leader.

Today is one of those times.

Burying friends is never easy, but as a leader I have had to do it more times than I can count. It is not something I want to get proficient at doing; not now, not ever.

I watch Prowl carefully from where I stand and I see him, stoic as ever; he has no more tears left to cry or so he tells me. He has cried them all in the past few days and I have, on more than one occasion, been fearful for his very life.

I turn and see the others, those who both loved and hated Sunstreaker, those who saw him as friend and those who saw him as nothing more than an ally to be spoken to only when absolutely necessary. They all mourn his loss and, even more so, the loss of his beloved twin.

Twins are a rare gift to the Cybertronians. But Sunstreaker and Sideswipe were made even more rare by the fact that their spark split at the moment of it's creation and became two sparks that were never truly complete without the other. They might have only ever been one mech, but they became two halves to the whole, darkness to light, day to night, black to white, good to bad, and everything in between.

We should have known that one would not die without the other.

Prowl swears to me he has no regrets, that he finally said the words to them both on that last day…

I watch him, his hands resting on either pod, lips moving in silent words. I won't disturb him. I'll give him his privacy, his time alone to say goodbye.

As I walk away from the island where we have set up a sort of… mausoleum to bury our brothers, I am reminded of words I'd read not too long ago during one of my searches on the internet…

Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sun on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there; I did not die…

So… there you go. That is the end of this series. I know, some of you are going to ask what happened to Prowl, how did he cope, does he go on… well, that, my dear readers, is up to you to decide.

The poem is by Mary Elizabeth Frye and was written in 1932.

Thanks again for reading. +Peace+