A/N: Sup? Long time no see! I've been really really really busy. Ok! Here's the next chapter! I have to publish this before it rots in my archive. I'll put another chapter once I feel like writing something. While we wait in anticipation for Tekken Tag 2 and Tekken 3ds to come to consoles/handhelds next year, I present this uh... thing which was purely made out of sheer boredom. Haha. I know it's not hilarious as hell but I hope it amuses people. Thanks for the review by the way! Here's Hwoarang for you! Everyone enjoy. Anyway read and review...please and thank you!
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In the Meantime
Paul and Law sat on the floor contemplating on their failed attempts at earning money.
For every second, every minute, every hour, every day...
For every moment Paul Phoenix applied hair gel to his gravity defying hair do (whistling while he worked)...their debts just grew and grew. Law wanted to kick himself. Also he wanted to cut the hair of the guy beside him...with a chainsaw.
"Hey man how can you afford hair gel at a time like this?"
"You know pal even in these hard times, a man has to look his best! Osu!"
The Chinese cook and bared chested fighter shooked his head. His friend was still in his "Osu" pose and was smiling widely. Obviously his good friend was still oblivious about what the ladies wanted. He's the married man! Paul should ask tips from him!
Paul's red gi didn't look clean either. How can he impress the ladies with that!
Come to think of it...when was the last time did this guy take a bath anyway?
"What if we sell your restaurant and my dojo to earn big money?"
"Sell my restaurant? Are you out of your mind man! Hell no! Not in a million years! Yeah right...as if we could sell your rundown filthy thing that you call dojo!"
"Hey!"
"Like I'd listen to you stinky! After you train or after running from debt collectors, take a bath first before you come here will ya!"
Paul sniffed himself. He checked his breath (ooh that ramen smell! Yum!), then sniffed his left and right armpits (longer than usual...Law cringed in disgust).
He's right. This reeks. I do really need a shower! "Alright gotcha. And I'm in a good mood so I'll just pretend that I never heard a thing about my dojo."
"Told ya. Now can you put your arms down?"
"Okay they're down. Now can you stop covering your nose! I can't understand what you're saying half of the time!"
"Fine. I'll...just sit right over here then." At the corner. Away from you. "Sorry pal."
"Is it me or is it hot in here?" Of course...In the looks department, I'm the only one that's HOT in this place! "Your airconditioner's not working again. I'm sweating like a pi- Uh...nevermind. Can I use your bathroom?"
And use my bathtub and have a bubble bath? No way you're going near my rubber ducky Phoenix! "No."
"What! I was just going to pee..."
Oh. "Use the public toilet instead."
"...Alright fine. I'll be right back."
Paul came back after 30 minutes and became veeeeery silent. Actually he was deep in thought. Thinking about solving his own debt probably. Apparently the people they owed increased the interest. If only they had the money back then they wouldn't have this problem!
Law himself had no ideas at the moment and looked at the surroundings for a distraction. He found the perfect thing! The tower that his friend called his hair! He wondered how high that thing would go. In that time by then...would it rival the Tower of Pisa? The Eiffel Tower of Paris? The Statue of Liberty? All of the possibilities!
He attempted to cut it so many times (even without Paul's permission...in his sleep) but to no avail. He was thinking of chasing the blondie with a lawnmower now for laughs.
His own hair however was damn fine. Moustache or no moustache...he looked good! He was so smexy! His own son is a splitting image of his coolness!
One of Paul Phoenix eyebrows shot up. Then he laughed his ass off at the sight of Law flexing his muscles.
After a good 2 hours or so, they consulted their little notebook called "GET RICH QUICKLY OR DIE TRYING! BOOK OF INCREDIBLE IDEAS BY THE HANDSOME PAUL PHOENIX AND HIS SIDEKICK!...I mean BESTFRIEND LAW!" (scribbled messily on a piece of paper then taped on the kiddie cover) for ideas regarding their next plan. They spent 30 minutes debating on the title and argued or rather fought on how Paul wrote it ("Who's the sidekick you idiot!").
Both have forgiven each other for their failed attempt at winning the sixth tournament. However, the injuries they sustained were still sore though. One rubbed his cheek and the other still rubbed his uh...down there from time to time.
After another 20 minutes of silence...blondie spoke.
"Yes! It's brilliant! We should start right away!"
"What's brilliant? Did you think about something?"
"Yes! With this, we'll be rich in no time!"
"Rich..."
"We'll be rich I tell you! This time I guarantee we won't fail!"
"Rich..."
"I am a genius!"
"Rich..."
"Those bastards when I show them the money..I'll be laughing at their face!"
"Rich! I like it! Okay! Tell me!
"How about Plan 92?"
"Plan 92? Okay here it is!"
"So? Brilliant huh? Told you this would work!"
"NO WAY! WE"RE NOT GONNA WAIT FOR ALIENS TO COME TO EARTH, KNOCK EM OUT AND SELL THEM TO THE POLICE FOR FAME AND GLORY YOU IDIOT!"
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Ganryu was thinking of going on a diet for the lovely Julia Chang.
Nah.
He loved Sumo too much to give it up. Really. No really. Yep. That was it. He absolutely lives for Sumo! Sumo forever! Hah! Who cares about being fit anyway? Those skinny people!
Alright fine! Who was he kidding? His restaurant wasn't popular so he couldn't afford the gym expenses . He was too lazy to actually do any running. No exercise means no getting the fat out of your system. There! Happy?
Even doing sumo isn't exercise. You've got to stay huge to do sumo!
Still if he was thin..all the possibilities!
He would be more handsome! He would fit in those skinny jeans!
He would have...what did they call it? Right! Six pack abs...
He would have more fans! More than that...Jin Kazama fellow! The lovely Julia would fall head over heels in love with him!(Drool...Wait he should wipe that off)
And...and he would now be able to fly! That black orb thingy made him grow black wings on his back! He had these really cool tattoos!
But he couldn't fly being so dreadfully heavy so that was a total bummer.
No one believed his story and everyone laughed in his face. He just couldn't make the tattoos and wings reappear. So here he is...once again thinking about the lovely Ms. Chang...sighing dreamily leaning on the bedroom window gazing upon the stars.
A shooting star!
"Julia.."
Meanwhile, Julia Chang suddenly felt a shiver run down on her spine. Brrr...Creeepy.
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"For once Hwoarang stop thinking of kicking Jin Kazama's ass and concentrate!"
"...Yes master."
"What? I can't hear you..."
"YES MASTER!"
"Shh...not so loud boy!"
"M-Master why do I have to do this again?"
"This is training."
"What? How could this be part of training!"
"And master...this suit is too tight!"
"Stop complaining will you.."
Baek Doo San and his pupil were in a wedding dance rehearsal. Yep. You heard right. They were doing the waltz. Inspired by the legendary "wax in,wax out" uh..thing, Baek Doo San knew this was the perfect training for his pupil. There were lots of things that Hwoarang could learn from this: focus, rhythm, patience...which by the way was completely running out by now.
Okay...It might be also due to the insistence (or rather persistence) of Baek Doo San's relatives. Someone was getting married in the family and he of course had to attend. It was a honor to be invited and to decline such an offer would be rude. It would be also interesting to see his student in another...ahem...light.
There was no way out of this. Not even if Hwoarang tried to run, he'll just get dragged back. His niece also had a crush on Hwoarang thus they made him her partner/date.
Hwoarang once again politely excused himself from his partner and approached his master.
He bowed then whispered in his master's ear. "Master I give up. Give me another one. I can't do this."
"Why? You haven't even tried yet. I told you...focus."
"I am master! But...I-I...Her feet! They're huge! If she steps on my foot one more time, I'm gonna..."
"Going to do what?"
"N-nothing master!"
"Good."
3 more days to go before the wedding...
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No matter how hard he tried Kuma couldn't win Panda's heart.
He tried everything. Flowers, chocolates...even fish he would've eaten for dinner...only to get rejected so many times.
The flowers were shoved in his face. Silently he was glad that it wasn't shoved into his rear instead and sent him flying like some infamous orange wearing ninja. That would really hurt and cause him mental and emotional trauma for all eternity.
Then that big and really yummy looking fat fish that he spent hours just to catch...
He tied a ribbon on it, attached a note that said "For my LoVe...PanDa - KUMA." (How bears knew how to write we will never know) and after a kiss he left it in front of Ling Xiaoyu's residence. In anticipation of Panda being thrilled upon seeing the fish, Kuma waited. And waited. And waited some more.
He waited for 5 long excruciating hours and still no sign of his *cough* love. His ass was starting to itch as he was hiding in the bushes.
Only to find Ling Xiaoyu open the door instead and get disgusted by the fish that was swarming with flies. It was fed to a cat soon after.
He never cried so much in his life. A scene which terribly annoyed Heihachi (he couldn't sleep).
His winning smile didn't work on Panda. Winking at her only gave him a black eye.
Wearing his floaters or his tutu didn't work either..wait what?
Or dying his fur white and black to look like a panda himself (which only made Panda raise her eyebrows and walk away). He tried going all white if Panda digged Polars instead but to no avail. Nope not even wearing his glasses to look cool worked either.
The box of chocolates were thrown away...no! Those were expensive!
How could he have known that you ask? Or to put it simply...how can a bear buy something like that? Well...here's the thing...His master was gonna kill him. His master was gonna kill him for stealing it in the first place..once he finds out. He stole the box of Snickers and Ferrero Rocher placed on top of the bed. Those were his master's favorites but Kuma couldn't help it. It had to be special when Panda was involved.
If his master asks, he'll have to deny taking it (and say nothing...nothing I tell ya!) or so help his fluffy ass.
As much as he loved his master with his whole heart, there were times he didn't. Now here's a little secret...On the outside Heihachi was fierce...he would beat anyone who stands in his way to a pulp. But within his room, when he and Kuma were all alone...he gorges on the stuff like an animal.
Disgusting.
And Kuma was the bear around here.
He couldn't ask his master Heihachi for help in the matters of love. He imagined the old man laughing in his face. The man couldn't even communicate with him...let alone understand him...his agony, his pain, his broken heart.
There was no way the old man could give useful advice. It would take a miracle for Heihachi to be able to develop a thing called kindness or love for his fellow human.
Well look at the guy! He has no love life. He spends his days on maniacal laughter while plotting against his own family. He threw his own son off a cliff (later in a volcano) and shot his grandson straight in the face!
So Kuma sulked. He sulked and brooded like there was no tomorrow. He was like those emo guys you see in anime and Final Fantasy. He wished he had spiky hair though. That might convince Panda to marry him!
Heihachi found Kuma hours later rolled up into a ball.
The old man firmly believed the stupid bear ate his chocolate.
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