Title: What No One Knows

Summary: SG1 is returning home after the mission to Netu and Daniel is hiding something. At first he thinks it's nothing important, but soon he realizes that the aftereffects are far worse than the original torture. Will his friends figure out what he is hiding from them? Will Daniel discover why his torment hasn't ended? Daniel whump, you shouldn't read this if you haven't see something that comes before this episode, I never know what I might reference. No slash.

Daniel sighed. It was over. He looked over at Teal'C who was flying the Goa'uld cargo ship and was once again glad that there had been only three escape pods. That had meant that Teal'C had to stay behind, for which he was grateful for several reasons, one of them being that without him they never would've escaped that awful planet. Another being that Apophis would have been all too happy to have Teal'C in his clutches so he could make him suffer.

Daniel had sat down on one of the chests in the ring area next to his friends, but now he was feeling decidedly claustrophobic. He got up and moved away from everyone to sit on the other side of the room. The ground was hard and cold but it only felt good to his over-heated skin. On Netu it had been as hot as any desert but without any wind underground. And the place had smelt of sweat, suffering, and death.

Daniel was used to warm temperatures and usually didn't mind them, but instead of the dry, clean heat of the desert it had been humid and suffocating. He had felt like he was being closed in on every side by some unseen and invisible force. In the desert everything was open.

Of course, at the time he had ignored any and all feelings of discomfort he might've had because they had a job to do. He had long since learned not to voice his pain because it could end up being the death of him. And he wouldn't show it either.

And they had done their job, they'd rescued Jacob from that hellish planet and had even managed to destroy it, though, that had been Teal'c and the other Tokra's handy work. Daniel hoped that this time Apophis was really dead and hadn't somehow escaped the destruction of a planet that was supposed to be impossible to escape.

He put his head in his hands again, it was really pounding. The fact was that his whole body ached profusely, especially his torso. He got up. He knew from experience that focusing on other peoples' pain helped him to ignore his own; besides, he was worried about the state of Jack's leg.

Bringing a medical kit with him, Daniel walked over to where Jack was sitting, his injured leg spread out in front of him, and still faintly mumbling something about iced tea. He sat down next to him and began to inspect more thoroughly the damage the staff weapon blast had done to his knee. The colonel hissed slightly as Daniel began to remove the make-shift bandage they had tied around it.

"Careful there, I'm fragile," he said in his usual sarcastic and childish tone. Like Daniel Jack didn't show pain if he could help it when there were enemies around, but when it was just him and his friends he would behave like a five-year-old.

Daniel smiled slightly at Jack and the sarcasm he knew was just a coping mechanism for pain. "How does it feel?" the archeologist asked, looking up into his friend's face in order to decipher the truth in whatever dismissive comment he would make.

"Actually it's starting to go a bit numb," Jack said.

Daniel didn't really believe it, but nodded his head as if he did anyway. As he looked back down at the injury he concluded that while it would probably hurt like crazy, there would be no permanent damage. Though, he may have to do a little bit a physical therapy.

Daniel was well acquainted with staff blasts of all kinds. He'd been shot fatally by one twice, and had taken one to the shoulder at least once. Those were the ones that stood out the most. He remembered the pain his arm had been in for days and was sure he had a pretty good idea of how Jack was feeling at this point.

"So Doctor Jackson, will I live?" Jack asked.

"As long as you don't piss off anymore Jaffa or Goa'uld in the next few days, yes. Though, why you would need me to tell you that I can't fathom. You're one of the most un-killable people I know, Jack." Daniel smiled with a bit of fondness at his friend. He was glad they had all made it out of there alive and most of them unscathed, physically at least. Emotionally, Daniel knew, was a different story. They'd all seen horrible and painful hallucinations while under the influence of a drug called Sokar's Blood.

"Me? Nah, you're the un-killable one, Daniel. And when you do die you always manage to come back and haunt me. I've got nothing on you." It was obvious that Jack was joking around but his words triggered something in Daniel's mind.

His brain flashed back to when Amaunet was holding that blasted ribbon device on him and he was about to die when Teal'C shot her, killing his wife in the process. And as quick as the memory began it ended. Daniel recognized it as being induced by the drug in his system; it had that same eerie real and unreal feeling to it.

"Daniel?" Jack asked, obviously noting the change in his behavior as the hallucination had overcome him.

Without looking at him he answered in a whisper, "There are different kinds of death, Jack, you should know that." He looked at the golden walls. When Sha're had died a part of him had died with her, a part that no amount of regeneration time in the sarcophagus could revive.

He looked back at Jack and smiled his 'I'm fine' smile. Jack looked as if he understood what he had meant by his previous statement. After all, he had lost his son.

Daniel shifted uncomfortably as his muscles all over his body flared in pain again.

Sam gasped. "Daniel, what happened?" she asked, gently lifting a hand and touching his cheek. Daniel had been so absorbed in his thoughts and Jack's leg that he hadn't noticed that Sam and her dad had stopped talking about their vacation. He looked around the room and saw that not only were Jacob and Sam watching him, but also the Martouf and the other Tok'ra.

He realized that Sam must mean his face. He gingerly brought a hand up to one of his throbbing cheeks and lightly touched it as Sam had. There was no doubt about it, it was bruised and slightly swollen. He guessed that the other side was as well, but not as badly.

"Yeah, Daniel, you look like you got into a bar fight," Jack said. "What happened?"

"What, this?" Daniel said, trying to downplay how much the bruises hurt, both for his sake and theirs, "Just another lovely gift from Apophis."

"And the other one?" Jack asked, sounding as if he was suspicious.

Daniel inwardly cursed, he hated when his friends went into overdrive caring mode about every little bruise and cut. "No, that was from a Jaffa."

"It looks bad, Daniel," Sam said, the concern evident in her tone.

Daniel smiled at Jack and said, "Actually, I think it's going numb." Jack laughed a little bit at that, but the archeologist still saw the worry in his eyes.

And perhaps they were right to worry about him, he mused. After all, he had already died, like, four times, had been made crazy by withdrawal twice, had had his death simulated so that his friends would think that he was dead, and had had the ribbon device used on him more times than he could count. Daniel was also pretty sure that he'd been beaten to a pulp a couple times over as well. And all those were only the highlights.

Sometimes it seemed to him that every time he stepped through the gate something bad happened to him. Maybe they should worry about him, especially when taking into account the injuries he was currently hiding from them. Daniel considered telling them but really didn't want them to worry any more than they already did. Plus, he found that ever since his wife died he just couldn't handle a lot of sympathy. That was something she used to give him every time he so much as sneezed. Whenever he would get hurt on Abydos she'd always be there for him.

But now she was gone. He didn't want pity or sympathy from anyone. In all truth he had never really excepted worry at all. He'd always grown up believing that hiding his pain was for the best. He had liked it where Sha're was concerned, but that had been because it was proof that she loved him, a miracle that he'd always had trouble believing.

He was glad that his friends cared about him, but he just couldn't handle it in the form of pity anymore. It reminded him too much of what he had lost.

So he looked back at his friends and said, "I'm fine." It was a lie he had told often, both to his friends and his enemies.

As if they had heard his lie, his muscles tensed up again and the aching increased. But he hid any traces of it from his face.

He lay back against the chest and sighed. He was exhausted and couldn't wait until he, and his injured and tired friends, could get back home. He was worried for Jack's leg even though he knew it would be fine as long as it didn't get infected, and he was worried about Jacob. Though, he knew that on the way home they would stop off to deliver the injured Tok'ra to his people so that they could take care of him. He hoped that the green liquid Martouf was giving him would help him last that long.

His eyes drifted shut and he almost felt like he could fall asleep, but then another wave of pain swept through his body, leaving him breathless. All thoughts of sleep were banished from his mind despite how tired he was. He was in too much pain for that.

The attacks seemed to be getting worse and coming quicker. Daniel didn't understand, he thought that the device was only supposed to work while being used. They shouldn't be aftereffects this bad nearly an hour later. And instead of getting better they were only getting worse.

He opened his eyes and saw Martouf looking down at him with a strange expression on his face. There was concern, fear, curiosity, and what looked like awe. "Are you alright, Doctor Jackson?" he asked.

Slightly annoyed, though, that was mostly due to the pain, Daniel replied, "I'm fine."

But Martouf pushed again. "Are you sure you did not sustain any injuries other than the ones you possess on your face?"

In a way Daniel was grateful to the man, even though he was obviously too observant for Daniel's own good. He barely knew the man but it was apparent that he had a kind heart. Though he had focused primarily in helping Jacob and Selmac, he had tended to everyone else as well. Daniel had seen him helping Jack with his leg both in the cell and on the ship. And he knew that he had been very concerned for Samantha and had made sure she was alright, too.

He was probably checking on him just in case he needed his help with anything. Still, Daniel knew that, despite Martouf's good intentions, if he kept poking around Jack would finally notice his friend acting funny and then the whole thing would be out.

It was not like his injuries were that severe anyway. He just didn't want them to pity him and try to help with something that only Janet and time could heal. There was really nothing any of them could do. And besides, it wasn't too painful at this point, Daniel could handle it. He hoped.

He gave Martouf one of the smiles he knew went a long way in reassuring anybody, even if that person didn't know him very well. "I'm fine, Martouf, just tired."

"Yes," the Tok'ra said a bit absent-mindedly, "it has been an exhausting couple of days."

Yes it has, Daniel thought. He gazed at Martouf and wondered if anyone had inquired about his health. The man had gone around to make sure everyone was fine, and yet no one seemed to be doing the same for him.

"And how are you? No injuries?"

Martouf glanced down at him sharply, as if being brought out of some deep thought, and gazed curiously at him once again. "I am well, Doctor Jackson. You need not be concerned. We are all tired, but it is nothing that rest will not heal."

Daniel was glad that he was unharmed. He once again laid his head back against the black chest and closed his eyes, hoping for sleep. But, unfortunately, he wasn't given that chance.

"Hey Daniel," Jack said, "You never told us. How did you get the communicator anyway?"

Daniel thought about it, maybe this was his chance to excuse any and all injuries Janet may find on him. Simply say that it had been necessary. "I punched a Jaffa," he said. Everyone in the room looked at him as if he was stupid. Jaffa were ridiculously strong and tough.

"You punched a Jaffa, what? Had nothing better to do?" Jack asked incredulously.

"No, Jack, I punched him so that he would hit me. That is how I managed to get the communicator. I crashed into a table and grabbed it. No one even noticed," Daniel finished. Everyone stared at him with varying stages of disbelief and shock. Martouf looked especially stunned.

"So let me get this straight," Jack said after a moment. "You did something stupid in order to do something smart? You set yourself up for a beating so that we might escape?"

Daniel nodded. He didn't tell Jack that it had only really been one punch to the face that that little stunt had earned. Allowing him to think that it had been worse would provide him with a scapegoat later.

Suddenly the pain in his entire body surged horribly again, except this time it was getting worse. He quickly got up, knowing exactly what was going to happen, and left the room, mumbling something about keeping Teal'C company.

He just barely managed to keep himself from stumbling noticeably into a small room in a corner of the ship. It was a storage room or something. He hit the button to close the door and then sank to the ground against the wall. The pain was building. Daniel pulled his knees up and put his arms around them.

He could feel the electric surge build up inside of him. It was like a round of hiccups or a slowly coming sneeze. He knew it was coming. The pain was so intense at this point that he felt like screaming, but he didn't.

Then his muscles began to twitch one by one. Abruptly his whole body convulsed in cramps and spasms. He couldn't seem to control his own muscles. The agony was unbearable. This was worse, worse than the original torture, this was pain beyond imagining.

Inwardly Daniel screamed, but in reality he clamped his mouth shut, he didn't need his friends to see this.

It was like getting hit with a bolt of lightning, or someone had poured liquid fire into his veins. It was more pain than he had ever felt in his life. His head felt like it was going to explode with the pain flowing into it. Daniel knew that if continued much longer he would pass out, or die.

Finally, Daniel could feel the violent convulsions slow and the pain begin to ease. But the relief came at an agonizing crawl. It felt like it took forever for the pain to return to a just bearable ache and his head settle down a little.

Daniel went limp as relatively full use of his own body was returned to him. He leaned heavily against the cold wall, panting. The torment still lingered in his system, but it was mostly dormant now. He closed his eyes in order to block out the way-too-bright lights on the ship.

His hair was drenched in sweat and clung to his head and his chest and back felt soaked with it. He was almost completely covered in his own sweat and everything felt achy and exhausted. Daniel didn't understand why it would hurt more now than it had before. In fact, it had hurt a lot more. He wasn't sure if he could survive another attack like that or whatever the hell that thing was.

Daniel wasn't sure that he had the energy to stand up, let alone walk out of here as if nothing had happened. Besides, he didn't think that his sweat covered state would go unnoticed. And aside from all of that his torso felt quite unwilling to move after all that it had just suffered. It had hurt badly enough before to just move an inch, but now his already abused chest and stomach refused to move without giving him excruciating pain.

Daniel was tired, far too tired to care about much of anything other than to lie down. He let himself fall sideways and he crumpled up on the floor in a fetal position. As the exhaustion overcame him, his still-quite-affected-by-the-drug mind supplied him with a faint memory.

It was of when he was a boy and he had scraped his knee. It had hurt so badly that he had cried as his mother had patched it up. After it was all over he apologized to his mother for being so weak and pathetic. His mother had told him that he never needed to hide his pain, that it wasn't a sign of weakness, but rather of acceptance. She had told him that to feel pain was to be human, and that denying that he ever felt pain would be denying his humanity.

As the hallucination ended, he felt like his mother had been wrong. He hadn't felt human since they died, not once. Not until he had fallen in love with Sha're, that is. Then he had felt more human than he had ever known was possible.

But all too soon it had ended and Sha're had been taken from him. Since that day he had been feeling less and less like a human being and more like some sort of creature. Some kind of hybrid.

Daniel had always known that he didn't quite belong on earth, but on his missions with SG1 he felt himself changing into something. When Sha're had died he finally knew what that something was, he hadn't known before. He was becoming a weapon, a weapon against anything that stood in his way.

Showing weakness or pain in front of his enemies would only hurt him more. And showing it among his friends would hurt them. He was a weapon, but that didn't mean that he should destroy his friends along with those who had taken his wife from him. That thought had kept him from screaming during this recent attack, and if it happened again it would continue to keep them in the dark.

He lay on the uncomfortable, freezing floor and shivered. He was cold. That was the last thought that entered his mind before he drifted off into a much-needed sleep.

Okay, yeah, there's the first chapter. I hope everyone seems in-character to all of you. This is my first SG1 fic. Any guesses as to what is causing Daniel's pain? Hope you all like, I probably won't update very often because I've got two other stories I'm desperate to finish. Please review otherwise I might not update at all.