Authors Note. This story is quite AU. We all know that Masamune wasn't taking good care of himself in college after Ritsu left him behind. But, what if it all went down a bit darker, and if Ritsu came back sooner than expected? Drug use, alcohol, lemons, yelling and fighting and all that good stuff. Disclaimer: I do not own Sekaiichi Hatsukoi.
I edited the story one more time. Promise this is the last time I let my perfectionism get in the way of new chapters. I will be posting chapter 2, 3 and 4, April 10th 2018. PS: Thank you to all those who have read, favorited, reviewed and followed.
Just one more, what's the harm? I don't do this every day... Step 1. Take the 1000 yen bill out of your wallet. Step 2. Roll it into a nice thin roll. Step 3. Arrange the coke into a fine line on the mirror. Step 4. Get close to the hand mirror on the sink. Step 5. Align the roll with your nostrils. And Step 6. sniff. Easy as that and then.. the rush. God that felt great. Just the feeling of the white powder streaming through your blood system, making you hyper-aware of everything and you get to feel so fucking cool. It's almost as good as having sex and you're on cloud 9 and…
"Come on Masamune! You have been in the fucking bathroom for an hour now! Finish yourself up"! Takafumi kept banging on the door until I finally calmed in my rush.
"Hot doesn't just create itself, I have to shine up for the girls (and guys)!. I can't help myself anymore. Ever since high school, I have been batting for both teams. Hell… what was his name again? Ona or Oka, something like that? huh, well that just shows you what 5 years of drugs and drinking does to your memory… 'Senpai… I love you'! NO! Stop fucking thinking about him! He is gone! Out of your life! He probably doesn't even remember you! So just fucking stop! God, I need some more. Again… 1000 yen bill. Roll it up tight and thin. Hand mirror on the sink. Align the bill in the nostrils. Sniff… Looking in the mirror and I don't recognize myself anymore. I'm no longer that skinny seventeen-year-old senior in high school. He was a loner, self-destructive kid. Confused and angry because of his parent's divorce, bitter over love. I am much worse than that. I am a twenty-two-year-old college senior.
My time after school is spent doing nothing but drugs and fucking. When I was younger, the oncoming divorce between my parents may have been a dark cloud over my days, but I still had the sun. Because I had him. I had him right in my arms, bed, life - and now I am left with nothing with a hole. I am nothing. I am no longer 'Saga Masamune' or Saga-Sempai. I am Takano Masamune. Though I don't really know who he is.
Taking a look at myself in the mirror and what do I see? A worn out young man, with black circles under his eyes and shaggy black hair that is in need of a haircut. My body has become more muscular and toned, though my ribs are seen through my tight shirt. I grew 3 inches more after finishing high school.
The guy in the mirror is a good looking guy, but he looks like he has been through it all, and yet they still want me? Why do all those girls and guys always go home with me? It's a dumb question I, of course, know the answer to, it is not because of who I am, but because of who I am trying to be. The carefree guy who wants to party 24/7, he gets as many men and women in his bed as he pleases, just so he can try to fill some holes and the hole in his heart, but there are new holes I can feel everywhere know. In the palms of my hand, the tips of my fingers, my cheeks, my arms, even the back of my head feels like it has craters in it. I am not well. But I give all of them a smile. Splashing some water on my face, taking a nice long look into the eyes of the man in the mirror, I give him a big great smile. The greatest smile of them all. The knowing one, - "yeah, I look good". It's quite nice to assure yourself with those things.
I finally walk out of the bathroom and find Yokozawa leaning against the wall. - "Jesus Christ, Masamune, it's about fucking time"! "Yeah, yeah, are we going or what? I need to see if there is some new meat out in town"! I - "Yeah me"… - "Huh, you said something?" I turn around facing Takafumi. "No, let's just get going okay"? - "Yeah let's go! let's go! let's go!" Even in front of my best friend, I act carefree like the funny party guy. He knows it's all a façade and I know he knows, but we both won't say anything.
Glancing a quick last one look in the mirror that's hanging in the hallway and again, I flash that smile to myself. Yeah, you look good enough for the new stuff.
Let's see if there is something new in town. Hope you liked it, please leave a review so I can know what I should do better. Love, cigarettesandlatte.