Title: Don't Misconstrue It
Author: Hippo_Crat
Rating: R, for crude language.
Length: 785 words
Spoilers: Preggers
Summary: Set during Season One. A fluffy bathroom altercation between Quinn and Rachel.
Pairing: Quinn/Rachel

"Did you just call me fat?" Quinn snarled, her mouth agape with disbelief.

Rachel's eyes widened with horror. "Of course not." She took a few steps back to increase the distance between her and the hormonal teenager. "That's ridiculous I would never use the word 'fat'."

Quinn was not placated. The blonde girl stalked forward a few paces pinning the shorter girl with a sharp glare. "But you used a synonym."

"I most certainly did not. You've misconstrued my statement." Rachel insisted, her voice was tinged with unease.

The former cheerleader laughed humorlessly. "So not only are you calling me fat, you're calling me stupid."

Rachel frowned; she was beginning to become irritated with what she considered to be the taller girl's intentional obtuseness. "Are you deliberately interpreting what I'm saying in the most offensive manner possible?"

The pregnant girl pressed her advance. For every step she took Rachel took one backward. Soon the brunette would have no place left to retreat. "Are you deliberately insulting a sensitive pregnant girl to her face?"

Full lips parted and shiny, white teeth appeared as Rachel, somewhat foolishly, failed to contain her instinctive, incredulous guffaw. "In what possible universe are you the sensitive one?"

"Fuck you, RuPaul; we can't all go around with our hearts on our sleeves." The blonde girl sneered. Berry's last barb had landed too close for comfort.

"As opposed to your chosen coping mechanism; having unprotected sex?" The glee captain had finally backed herself into a wall. Truly cornered she unsheathed her claws and fought back in earnest.

Quinn couldn't believe the little freak's audacity. It was time to bring out the big guns. "Right, because internalizing every single negative thing that's ever happened in your life is totally the healthy thing to do."

"I'm glad you think so because my favored alternative involves a high powered sniper rifle and a position on the roof during a Cheerios practice!" Rachel's yell echoed off the tiled walls. For a moment there was silence as Quinn processed what had been said.

The moment was brief though, as a second later the blonde girl erupted like Krakatoa. "You are a fucking psychopath and the only reason anyone even tolerates you is for your voice. That and the fact that you're fucking hot!"

"Yeah, your exboyfriends might have mentioned something about that." Both girls were breathing heavily at this point. Rachel was glaring daggers up at Quinn who, by this time, was deeply breaching her personal bubble, while Quinn glowered baring her teeth in a deranged fashion.

"That's really cute. Let's see what they think about you after I break your nose." Quinn shoved the sleeve of the cardigan she was wearing up her arm. It was hard to be intimidating when you were sucking down air like a fat kid chasing an ice cream truck. (Or a pregnant woman chasing down an ice cream truck.)

She liked to think that even with her handicaps she was quite intimidating.

"Oh please, you would never lay a hand on me." Rachel dared to take a step forward, away from the wall, in an attempt to get Quinn to back down.

Ha. There was no way that was happening.

"You seem really sure of yourself." So sure, in fact, that Quinn wanted to hit her just to prove she could.

Rachel smirked in a manner that conveyed both pity and superior knowledge. God Quinn hated her. "Well I feel confident in saying that if you ever touched me you couldn't bring yourself to cease."

"Fuck you!" Quinn shouted as she violently shoved Rachel back against the wall.

"Is that an offer—?" Before the tiny diva could finish her undoubtedly irritating statement Quinn was upon her. Lips met first as their bodies crashed together a split second later.

Rachel immediately took two handfuls of the girl's gorgeous hair in an effort to bring the blonde closer to her. "You do realize that you're proving my point here, don't you?" She panted the second Quinn stopped occupying her mouth.

"Shut up!" The former cheerleader reclaimed Rachel's lips determined to silence the opinionated girl somehow. Quinn latched on to Rachel's hips and brought them forward forcefully against the knee she had ever-so-subtly slipped between the girl's legs.

The brunette groaned lowly—a sound that was lost in their kiss. She loosened her grip on the gold locks and tried to snake a hand beneath Quinn's shirt. Unfortunately the baby bump was holding the material fast. The petite girl broke the lip lock, frustrated. "Perhaps you'll find this more mutually pleasurable if I were 'on top'—given your current condition."

"Did you just call me fat?" Quinn snarled, her mouth agape with disbelief.