Once upon a time, there was this cute one legged duck named Crapsht, that splashed around, carefully as to not awake the kraken from the underworld. So one day he found out he was in love with Angelina Ballerina*, so he went to her show dressed as a unicorn with elephant ears and, while running upside-down with his wings, he shouted to her: "Angelina! You stupid bitch, you...you...have to come and eat an ice cream with me before Casper and the Teen Angels come eat breakfast in Jupiter! Would you marry me my love?" And so Angelina Ballerina went to him and started singing in a kind of opera way: "It's Friday! Friday! Gotta get down on Friday! Everybody's looking forward to the weekend!...If I said I want ur body now! Would you...hold it against...MMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" and while they escaped to Madagascar, all the windows broke. The tornado came soon after the cake made his vows to be a nun, so Mr. Cake, Crapsht and Angelina Ballerina got to see the lions in the jungle one more time. It was awefully beautiful to see the happily not so happy but still a little dotty little family of monkeys running around the soup, as they where being cooked to free their souls of the horrible fate that awaited for them. "AAAAAAAAAHHHH!" yelled Crapsht. He had eaten a bomb by accident and it ended up tik tiking in the middle of his head. So Angie came with an isopo and stuck in his ear as far as she could, until the bomb came out through Crapsht's other ear. Unfortunately, the bomb knew that where he really belonged was with Angie, so he came and exploded right in her face. Angie went to heaven after that, and mr. bomb died.
After the adventure with Angie and mr. cake, Crapsht set sail to meet a woman called Mrs. Gorila, in a far away land. He had heard the legend about this woman. The legend told that she was fatter than the fattest whale itself, her body was kind of like in the shape of a pear, and she thought she was a queen...although she was the poorest person in her town, and liked to kill every kids' joy. When he got to her house, she swang open the door for him to come in and yelled in an annoying, nasal, high-pitched voice: "Oh come IN SWEETHEART! Don't be SHY! Come IN! WITH ALACRITY!" so Crapsht made his move and in one second, got his sword out and stabbed her right in her chest. She began brake dancing like crazy and then to run in slov moshion slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter...until she finally collapsed to the dirty crabs. Yes, the floor is made of crabs. the pig, the king, the sofa, and every single soul in the town cheered. Crapsht was their hero now.
Until he remembered what my husband, Captain Jack Sparrow told him, that up is down*, and that it's not sunset, it's sun down and rise up, he turned his ship upside down so up would be down and then sunrise came with all the rum and candies it could find. Crapsht started cooking the meal his mom taught him a long three minutes time ago. Tennis shoes with skunk sauce and a bit of dog frosting. YYYAAAAYYYY! We did it! We did it! We did it! We diiiiiddddd iiiiitt! He sang. He then put the Christmas tree up and all the decorations bla bla bla and all his family came for Christmas dinner. They were all celebrating when Crapsht suddenly felt an urgent need to use the bathroom. He got really excited about it and ran to the bathroom with a huge smile on his face. Just as was excpected, Mr. Hanky* the Christmas poo came out of his ass and cheered with Crapsht and that Christmas was the best christmas ever. The end.
*up is down-Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's end
*Mr. Hanky the Christmas poo- for more info. Look South park
*Angelina Ballerina- a stupid cartoon in Discovery Kids