Title: Beautiful

Author: Lilith Knight

Disclaimer: I own neither "Beautiful" by Joydrop or any of the X-men characters.

Summary: A little dark one-shot fic from the POV of Rogue. Beware of Jean-bashing.

Rating: PG

Spoilers: Just general ones.

Feedback: Do I even need to ask? :)

Comments: This song just struck me as utterly appropriate for Rogue so I had to make a fic out of it. She doesn't have an accent in this one. Why? Because I'm lazy and this was written on a whim. So deal with it. :)

Dedication: To Rogue fans and Jean haters everywhere.

//song lyrics//

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

//If I was beautiful like you
Oh the things I would do
Those not so blessed would be crying out murder
And I'd just laugh and get away with it too
Like you do//

You know, it's true that beauty is only skin deep.

Everyone loves Jean. She's the beautiful one, the star of the soccer team, the straight 'A' student, the caring one, the "good" girl. No one seems to notice what I do, those little snubs of the people she considers beneath her, the lack of caring about anything other than herself, the poison under the perfect skin.

It's all mask. I've seen what's really inside. Sure, she's a goody-two-shoes on the outside but that's just the face she shows the world. Miss Perfect has few, if any, morals and no hang-ups whatsoever about using her powers to get her own way. It's getting caught that scares her. Oh, yes. When the Brotherhood "came out of the closet," so to speak, and dragged us along for the ride, for the first time she saw what it was like to be despised... and she hated it.

I've seen people speak against her, but little comes of it. It's sad in a way. She lets them think she's their friend and then she uses them. Angry and betrayed, they try to tell others the truth... only no one believes them. Even worse, everyone starts to hate them for trying to slander sweet, innocent Jean, who'd never, ever do anything to hurt anyone.

//If I was beautiful like you
I would never be at fault
I'd walk in the rain between the rain drops
Bringing traffic to a halt//

No one ever blames Jean for anything. Nothing is ever her fault. There are always excuses. No matter how flimsy they are, they're accepted, because the alternative would force them to take a good long look at the truth and no one wants to push their angel off her sky high pedestal.

It's almost ironic. All those old clichés apply to her. Literally. She can (and will) walk through a rainstorm and not a drop will touch her. If you didn't know the truth you'd almost think nature was bowing down to her. That's nowhere near the truth of course. The only nature goddess in the house is Storm. Thank God. I'd hate to think of Jean with that sort of power.

Then again the ones she has are more than enough. I suppose she could be considered a goddess in her own right. At the school they certainly treat her like one. It's almost funny really. Guys slam on their brakes in the middle of the street just to get a better look at her. Sickening. Of course she just drinks it up.

//But that would never be
That would never ever be
Cause I'm not beautiful like you
I'm beautiful like me, beautiful like me//

I'm not like that and I never will be. I'd never want to be. She's empty on the inside. Cold. No amount of popularity is worth that price. We're polar opposites. I'm as beautiful as she is (or at least that seens to be the general consensus of the people I've absorbed) but the gothic make-up and dark clothes are protection in more ways than one. Firstly, and most importantly, they preclude (for the most part) any accidental skin to skin contact. The second reason is far more subtle. The way I act and dress puts people off. Therefor I know that the only people who still want to get close are the people who can look past the surface. For Jean the trendy clothes, flawless make-up and sunshine and roses attitude are all lures. She a like a Venus flytrap, beautiful but deadly.

///If I was beautiful like you
I'd be quick to assume
They'd do anything to please me, why not?
I see their reaction when you walk into the room//

She knows the power her looks give her. She walks into a room and all eyes are on her. Everyone falls over themselves to make her happy and give her what she wants. If she makes a mistake or the shell cracks when she gets pissed, they just ignore it, and if they don't then her powers are enough to smooth things over.

Then there's Scott. The poor guy is completely head over heels for her. I feel sorry for him. He has no idea what she's like. He doesn't even realize how she's stringing him along while she's dating Duncan. She can't quite decide so she keeps them both. I'd tell him but even if he believed me it would only hurt him. Sometimes ignorance IS bliss, at least for a while. As if he didn't have enough problems already.

//But that would never be
That would never ever be
Cause I'm not beautiful like you
I'm beautiful like me, beautiful like me
Beautiful, beautiful like me
Like me, Like me...//

Sometimes I hate my mutation. It keeps even my friends at a distance and I will never have a normal life. Then I think maybe it's better this way. If fate hadn't seen fit to raise me the way I was then how might I have turned out? I shudder to think. Despite everything else I think I'm on the right path. I know who I am and who I don't want to be and I'm content with my life for the most part. More importantly I know I'm beautiful in a way Jean could never be... inside.

/If I was beautiful like you
I'd have so many friends
All fighting for my time to be next in line
So if I hurt one, I wouldn't have to make amends//

For Jean, friends are expendable. She has flocks of them, so what does it matter to her if she hurts a few feelings, ruins a few lives? They all want to be in her inner circle and they're willing to go to great lengths to do so. Anyone broken in the process is discarded with all the feeling and emotion one would give a used tissue. What kind of existence is that?

//That would never be
That would never ever be
Cause I'm not beautiful like you
I'm not beautiful like you
I'm not beautiful like you
I'm beautiful like me
Beautiful like me, beautiful like me
I'm beautiful like me, I'm beautiful like me!//

I will never be beautiful like Jean. I'm better than that. I'm beautiful like me.