OK I have been obsessing over Kogan the last few days, so I decided to write this.
In BTR's music video "Till I Forget About You" there was a little Kogan moments. Kendall had his arm around Logan's neck. Lol *sigh* how bromantic
I own nothing
Logan and Kendall do not have a sexual relationship and never will in this story just so it's clear.
Stuck in the Moment
"There can't be an Us" the brave blonde haired boy told the worried dark haired boy. Tears slipped out of the dark haired boy's brown eyes and ran down his cheeks. Kendall wiped the boy's salty tears with his fingers "don't worry Logan, I" he hesitated. How could he tell him not to worry, it was impossible. He even was worrying about it and he was not the worrying type. He loved Logan; he was like his little brother and his best friend. He loved him so much that if he couldn't be with him he was sure he would commit suicide. Logan looked down at his feet and looked up at Kendall with those worried brown eyes, like a puppy eyes. Kendall took Logan's hand and swallowed and held back millions of tears that could have just rolled out onto his cheeks.
"Kendall" Logan whispered as he stared at Kendall not believing what he said was true or if he was joking around with him. "Why can't there be an Us?" he asked timidly.
Kendall stood there and just held his hand not saying anything, he gently took Logan's other hand and then he let go of both of them not sure what to say to him. But He tried his best to explain to Logan that it was because of other people and their band, but mostly because their parents who would never agree with the two boy's hearts.
"Kendall I don't ever want to be without you" he said as he put his hands into the pockets of his dark denim jeans but quickly took them out. Logan's lip trembled and he swallowed hard trying to stay brave and not let more tears run down his cheeks.
Kendall took the boy in his arms and they stood their embracing each other, both had very worrisome thoughts circling their minds. They were both scared and anxious of losing each other because if they did what would they do when they needed someone. They always went to each other for help whenever it was in need. They were the best friends you could imagine; they did never want to hurt each other's feelings.
Kendall let go of Logan's tiny waist and they both stared at each other.
Finally after a few moments of dead silence, Logan looked at his watch and said he had to study for his math test for tomorrow. So he walked off to the bedroom he and Kendall shared. They had separate beds of course though because they wouldn't ever imagine sharing one, they didn't want that kind of relationship. Kendall watched as the young boy trotted off to their bedroom with heavy- hearted steps. He had a gray quarter sleeved shirt on with a pair of dark denim jeans he looked adorable as always.
Kendall sat down on the sofa and sighed, he hated that they couldn't be together because of others around them who probably would not approve of their relationship. If only they had another time or another place then maybe they could be together but as to where they stand now they were stuck in the moment.
It was about midnight but the two boys were both still awake, I mean why wouldn't they be you can't actually sleep with worries on your mind. They both lay there in complete silence waiting for sleep to hit their tired brains and bodies.
"Kendall" Logan sat up and whispered over to the sleeping boy; well he thought he was sleeping. He waited for a response but knew he probably wouldn't because he was asleep. No harm in trying in though. "Kendall" the anxious boy whispered out again into the darkness of the night, he could barely see Kendall or his bed it was so dark. Darker than usual it was tonight. He was still waiting for a response form Kendall or maybe a moan or something of the sort just so he would know that he was not alone.
"Yes" a familiar voice whispered back to Logan, who was pleased he was awake.
"Kendall, I-I –I can't sleep" he whispered. He pushed his blanket off and it fell to the ground in a hushed voice.
"What do you mean you can't sleep" Kendall said as he propped his elbow on his pillow and leaned on it for support.
"i-I just can't fall asleep" he admitted to the blonde haired boy who was willing to listen to him every time he asked to be heard. "It's like" he paused for a moment and the silence arose again. It was so silent that they could hear Carlos and James snoring away in the other bedroom. They fell asleep with ease and with no problems on their mind. "It's like, well I am too worried to sleep Kendall" he said letting it all out of him. "I worry about you Kendall" he whispered.
Kendall was shocked that Logan admitted that he was worried about him; usually he wasn't that easy to break.
Logan got out of his bed and walked over to Kendall bed and sat down on the edge, he played with the strings to his green and blue checkered PJ bottoms.
Kendall sat up and pushed his blanket away and scooted closer to Logan. "Why do you worry about me" he asked in a hushed voice.
Logan shrugged his thin shoulders and looked down at his fidgety fingers that were busy. "I don't know because I worry about not being with you." He knew he made no sense of what he said but he couldn't think properly. "I wish we could love each other" he said and hung his head down almost as if he was embarrassed of himself because of what he had said. Maybe he was embarrassed of how his heart felt. Was it wrong that he loved another boy? He felt this was so wrong but his heart felt differently.
Kendall knew this was not normal for himself to love another boy also. But he also realized Logan needed him because of his horrible life with his family and his terrible relationship with his father and this thought overpowered the negative thoughts in his head.
Kendall took notice that Logan might have been feeling embarrassed and It was good thing that it was dark because Logan felt his face getting hot.
"I know but our parents would never approve of it, Logan you know, right?" he asked questioning the dark-haired boy.
The dark-haired boy nodded in agreement. He felt a break out of sweat forming on his forehead and wiped it off with one swipe. But he was not okay with it neither was Kendall but they each showed it a different way. Logan felt tears coming in.
Kendall put his hand on Logan's back "I just want to say that I love you Logan" he said whispering. Logan blushed as he tried to look at Kendall's gaze but he failed. He swallowed and Kendall inched toward him and he pulled Logan's face to look at him. Logan's heart beat was far from regular; he seriously thought he was going to pass out. Kendall lips leaned in toward him and the dark haired boy knew what was happening, he touched and covered his lips before Kendall made a move on him. He was completely scared of what was happening.
Kendall knew way Logan was protecting his lips. He was terrified of this moment. But Kendall was going to make it happen. He took Logan's hand and pulled it down form his lips. He stared in Logan's deep brown eyes like he was trying to read his mind and suddenly he put his lips to Logan's.
The thin brown haired boy tried to back out of this kiss but Kendall grabbed him and put his arms around him and continued. The blonde haired boy felt tears running down his cheeks but they weren't his they belonged to the boy next to him. They sat there in the dark kissing.
"Logan even if we can't be together I want you to remember this kiss. For ever" he whispered to the boy who was right next to him. Logan nodded his head and touched his white t-shirt to feel that sweat had soaked through his shirt.
"No" Logan said disagreeing with him. "I want you Kendall; I don't care anymore what my family thinks of me. I love you I don't care of what people think either." He said releasing the words that were choking him up. Tears streamed down his cheeks.
"I don't care anymore either" Kendall replied realizing that what they wanted was more important than what others thought of them.
The two seventeen year old boys looked at each other and Logan blushed as he was kissed on the cheek by Kendall. They sat there in complete darkness and not for one moment regretted their decision.
Ok does this make sense? I feel like it kinda didn't so I don't know.
Thanks for reading
Please review! :)