Hello, readers! So I've recently been converted to the Gleek fandom, and I am in love with Dianna Agron (Quinn Fabray) so I decided to write a little Faberry. That being said, I'm trying to be as true to the characters as I can be. I'm leaving this open for continuation with no guarantees. So, let me know what you think and I hope you enjoy :)

Hate Me

Blue October

Quinn Fabray sat on the stiff piano bench in the empty auditorium, feeling the exhaustion from her first day back in Glee Club wash over her aching bones. She stretched her fingers, the only parts of her body that weren't sore from Booty Camp, over the cool ivory keys, letting her eyelids flutter closed and her breath release from her chest cavity in a whisper. A sigh so sad and powerful it threatened to shake her still form soared through the air, propelled past her chapped lips.

Having grown up in a wealthy Christian family, piano lessons had been forced down the throats of the Fabray children since they had understood what 'music' was. Eyes still peacefully hidden from the world behind folds of light skin, Quinn let her fingers stretch and flex over the keys, producing a classical melody she had memorized from her childhood. The eloquent sound of the piano soothed the blonde. Her posture relaxed, the weight of her self-assigned stresses melted off of her shoulders as she allowed the music to fill every corner of her mind and leave no room for argument with her dangerous thoughts.

It was a rare moment when relief such as this found it's say into Quinn, and she relished it. For once she wasn't trying to figure out who she was supposed to be and who she actually was. She wasn't picturing her daughter, happily in Puck's arms and frustratingly far from her own. She wasn't unfortunately remembering her summer and the things she'd done. She was just playing.

The sound of the door at the far end of the auditorium being roughly cast open caused Quinn to jump, fingers trembling over misplaced notes, tranquility gone with the melody. She spun on the bench to face the intruder and saw Rachel Berry slowly approaching, looking a little embarrassed to have interrupted Quinn.

"You're back," Rachel commented once she'd ascended to her rightful place on the stage. She took in Quinn's light hair and clean clothes as she spoke. Her joy was obvious in her voice and her warm smile, which Quinn did not return.

"I'm here," she corrected the bubbly brunette. Rachel faltered at Quinn's sullen tone and a somewhat awkward silence followed until Rachel mustered up the words to break it.

"I came to practice for the play," she told Quinn. Quinn's hazel eyes watched blankly as Rachel produced the playbook as evidence, showing the sheet music to Quinn. "I'm auditioning for the role of Maria, which one would think I'd be a shoe-in for, but Mercedes' competition is as fierce as she is and I want to be at the top of my game so I can feel as though I've truly won the part."

"I'll get out of your way then," she said, unsure, as always, how to respond to Rachel's ramble. Thankfully their not-really-friends relationship relieved Quinn of that responsibility very often. She stood to leave the diva her stage, but was stopped by sudden movements from the smaller girl.

"Wait," Rachel called quickly. "You don't have to go. I could use your brutally honest feedback."

Quinn contemplated her options before making a decision. She could go home and face her alcoholic mother and a pile of homework she had been blowing off in the name of her Skank persona, or she could watch Rachel do what she did best. Not that she'd ever admit it, but Quinn loved watching Rachel perform. Her voice alone was captivating.

"Okay. Do you need me to play for you?" she asked, gesturing to the piano she had just vacated. Rachel's eyes widened slightly, clearly surprised at the acceptance of her suggestion and Quinn's offer. She nodded.

"That would be excellent, Quinn, thank you. I heard you playing when I came in. Except for the end where I scared you and you played a sharp rather than a flat, your skills as a pianist are really quite admirable. I never knew you could play," Rachel droned.

"There's a lot you don't know about me," Quinn muttered, more to herself than to the Glee captain. Hell, there was a lot Quinn didn't know either. She took her seat on the still-warm bench and straightened her spine, hands hovering over the keys. Rachel spread the notes in front of her and with a nod from the performer, Quinn began to play.

The song sounded familiar. Quinn looked to the top of the page and read the title: I Feel Pretty. She immediately stopped playing, causing Rachel to turn to her in alarm.

"What's wrong?" she asked. Quinn tore her eyes from the sheet music and forced herself to look at Rachel.

"Nothing. I was just surprised. We sang this song together," Quinn answered. She licked her bottom lip and rested her hands in her lap.

"Yes, it's a Maria classic," Rachel beamed. She sat next to Quinn on the bench, making the other girl stiffen reflexively. When Rachel next spoke, her tone was soft but serious, curious and concerned. "Quinn, are you okay?"

It was the question Quinn had been waiting for. Ever since she'd returned to school with her pink hair and pierced nose. Ever since she bought the raggy clothes and adopted smoking as a habit. Nobody ever asked if Quinn was okay; they assumed, they ordered, they shunned. They never asked.

Her breath left her again in a heavy rush, this time much more forceful and much less relieving. Rather than ease, Quinn felt her chest constrict even more and the pain that threatened tears reached her face. Rachel noticed her effect immediately and racked her brain for a change of subject before Quinn had a complete meltdown. Her eyes grazed the empty stage and the glossy piano before them.

"Do you remember the last time we were here together?" she asked. Quinn, who had been focusing on taking deep breaths, sniffed hard and looked up to mimic Rachel's view of the auditorium. She winced slightly at the memory of their fight over Finn and the cruel words she had thrown out.

"Yes," she breathed. She swallowed and willed her voice to not betray her frailty. "I was horrible to you."

"You were a little harsh," Rachel agreed, though Quinn amazingly saw a smile hidden in the girl's features.

"I'm sorry I've always been so mean to you, Rachel," Quinn said seriously. She felt a twinge of pain in the pit of her stomach as she unraveled one of her guilty knots. "You didn't deserve that."

"It's okay, Quinn. I know you're sorry," Rachel assured her earnestly. Quinn shook her head, her short, freshly-blonde hair lapping against her cheeks like waves to the shore. Despite all annoying qualities and past grudges, Rachel truly was an amazing character. She seemed like the only person who could ever get through to Quinn, too. She was the only one who ever tried.

"I know I have no right to," Quinn began nervously, "but can I ask you something?" Rachel nodded encouragingly. "I'm sorry if this is too personal. Do you hate Shelby?"

"That is very personal," Rachel whispered after a long pause, during which Quinn regretted her courage and wished she had just stayed quiet. "Why do you ask?"

"I'm scared," Quinn admitted. Both girls were now speaking at an intimate, nearly inaudible level, and both had churning stomachs, but only Quinn was trembling. "I don't want Beth to hate me."

And that was it. Tears fell, just like they had when Quinn had first seen her daughter's picture on Shelby's phone. Her shoulders shook and she seemed to collapse in on herself, quivering hands pressed to her tearstained face. Rachel instinctively wrapped her thin arm around Quinn and was slightly surprised when Quinn didn't fight her. Heart breaking for the broken heart beside her, Rachel gave Quinn's athletic frame a small squeeze.

"Quinn," Rachel said experimentally. When no response came, she raised her voice and tried again. The second time, Quinn removed her hands and searched for comfort in Rachel's warm chocolate eyes. Rachel wiped the tears from Quinn's glistening cheeks and ducked her head a little so they were completely eye-level and very close. "I don't hate Shelby."

"You don't?" Quinn choked out, swallowing and sniffing frequently in an embarrassed attempt to take control of herself. She couldn't believe she was falling apart in front of Rachel Berry. Yet, she knew that she was somehow glad that it was Rachel she was melting before. Only Rachel would attempt to make her feel better without judgement and with discretion.

"No," Rachel answered with a shake of her head. "I don't. And I never knew her. I was left to wonder and cry for 17 years before I knew her. And then she left again. And I don't hate her. Now, if I don't hate Shelby Corcoran for birthing and abandoning me and then abandoning me again, I'm positive that Beth won't hate you. Look at what you're doing just to prove that you can be there for her. That is why you're back in Glee, isn't it?"

"You're very perceptive, Berry," Quinn mumbled. Rachel smiled brightly, her radiant light helping to dry Quinn's tears. "Beth should hate me. You should hate me. So many people should hate me, after all I've done."

"You're impossible to hate, Quinn Fabray," Rachel assured her, still grinning at the tearful girl. Their silence was more comfortable this time while Rachel waited for Quinn to compose herself. She let her arm slip from around the blonde and instead played idly with the piano.

"I'm sorry I ruined your rehearsal," Quinn quipped eventually. Rachel just smirked.

"When was the last time you sang?" she asked in response. Quinn sniffed the last of her tears away.

"Nationals, I think," Quinn answered sadly. Rachel shook her head in disapproval.

"In Glee Club, we sing our feelings. I find it to be a very therapeutic process that is vital to one's survival, especially in a cruel high school such as this," Rachel admonished. Quinn blinked at the energetic performer.

"You want me to sing?" she questioned. Rachel raised her eyebrows expectantly. Quinn's tongue raked over her bottom lip again. "I don't know...besides, there's no music," she excused lamely.

"So sing a Capella," Rachel suggested matter-of-factly. "Come on, I'll sing back-up. You'll feel better."

Quinn closed her eyes, mentally searching through her music library for a song that would emulate her complex emotions and intricate thoughts. As with nearly every time she closed her eyes, she saw Beth. She pictured her adorable little blonde, giggling in her father's arms. Then she heard Rachel stir next to her and she thought of the way she had treated the brunette over the years. And for what? Because Rachel was talented? Because she was a better person than Quinn was? Quinn locked her jaw and opened her eyes; she had a song.

"I have to block out thoughts of you so I don't lose my head," she sang, shakily at first but with more strength and precision as she continued to pour out the notes. Rachel continued to smile beside her, inspiring her to keep going. "They crawl in like a cockroach, leaving babies in my bed, dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I'm alone, playing movies in my head that make a horror* feel like home. There's a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain. An ounce of peace is all I want for you, will you never call again? And will you never say that you love me just to put it in my face? And will you never try to reach me? It is I who wanted space." Rachel joined her as she hit the chorus. She struggled through the words as they hit home and threatened to break her down again, but Rachel's added tone acted as reassurance. She kept singing. She kept feeling. "Hate me today. Hate me tomorrow. Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you. Hate me in ways, yeah, ways bards to swallow. Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you."

Quinn's voice cracked and she could go no further. Rachel cheered her and have a small applause, forcing her to involuntarily smile. She looked into Rachel's eyes again and surprised them both by hugging the girl.

"Thank you," she whispered.

*If you're familiar with the song, you'll notice I changed a word. This is just in the spirit of keeping it as true to the show as a Faberry fic can be, and they always change the words to make it more suitable to sing.

Questions, comments, concerns? I promise I'll reply to you! :)