WARNINGS: Spoilers galore for 4.02. The word hell. Shameless facetious approach to Lancelot's noble sacrifice.

A/N: Hey, so this is loosely based off something I read in Astiza's Awkward Moments.

Like this: 'That awkward moment when the other knights meet up with Arthur, Gwaine, and Merlin again, and they have to convince everyone that they didn't just sacrifice Lancelot, he decide to be the sacrifice all by himself.' (That awkward moment written by ruapilot2.)

It made me laugh, so I wrote this bit of crack… Which means that no one is really all that IC, for the sake of comedy. So, enjoy, maybe tell me what you think.

"Arthur! Wake up! Where'd the lady go?" Gwaine was standing over the prince and poking him in a way most unknightly.

"I… I thought she was here… What happened?" Arthur sat up, rubbing his tender head. It hurt again. That meant he'd been knocked out.

"Just like always, knocked out… Where's Merlin?"

"He… Oh, hell! He better not have… Merlin?Merlin?" Arthur scrambled to his feet and looked around for his servant.

But then he saw Merlin, coming towards him from behind the altar… Which no longer had a rip in the air above it. Merlin looked like he might cry; typical for Merlin.

"What happened, mate?" asked Gwaine, standing up because it was awkward to be the only one squatting.

Merlin looked at him sadly. "Lancelot," he said. "He went through the veil."

"He…"

"Yes."

Arthur ran his hand through his hair, agitated. "He was the sacrifice," he said slowly.

Gwaine turned to him, face the picture of shock. "Arthur! You sacrificed Lancelot?"

"What? No, I didn't, I was unconscious. Merlin, did you…?"

"Wasn't me, he did it himself!" said Merlin, slightly defensive.

Gwaine wasn't listening. "How could you do that? How could you bring yourself to do it? Lancelot was a loyal knight!"

"I didn't sacrifice him!" Arthur protested, but Gwaine was having none of it.

"Nowyou feel guilty. I can't believe this," he said, shaking his head, suddenly the one on the moral high ground— which didn't happen often.

"I didn't…! Merlin, tell him!" But Merlin just shrugged rather helplessly, since he was meanwhile being eaten alive with guilt that he'd been staring down an old lady while Lancelot became a blood sacrifice. He would have to explain later, of course, but now he was really only too glad to give the credit to someone else again.

"Did you do it because you thought Gwen was cheating on you with him?" Gwaine asked suddenly, flipping his hair out of his face as he narrowed his eyes.

"Guinevere is not – was not – cheating on me with Lancelot!"

"Then why'd you sacrifice him?"

"I didn't!"

"I can't believe it," Gwaine mumbled, looking disappointed.

"Then why don't you believe me instead?" Arthur suggested in exasperation, but before he could protest his innocence again, Elyan, Percival, and Leon strode in, their capes ripped and their faces scratched.

"Finally, we fought them off," said Elyan. "Where's Lancelot?"

"Arthur sacrificed him!"

"He did what?"

Arthur gave a small moan. He had a feeling that even when Merlin stopped staring into space and defended him, it would do no good. It would be a very long ride back to Camelot.

Unless, on the way to Camelot, some other catastrophe that threatened the end of Camelot as they knew it came up and required someone to sacrifice his life, and Gwaine just happened to be the only choice for sacrifice.

And wouldn't that just be terrible? he thought irritably, mentally baring his teeth.