Never a Dull Moment: from the Journal of Ron Weasley, Gryffindor

First Year

"Wonder what it's like to have a peaceful life," Ron sighed.

31 August 1991

I'm off to Hogwarts tomorrow. Dad says don't worry if school is harder than I thought, because there's a lot to learn. Ginny says I have to write her every week.

I've never had a diary or anything, but Bill sent me this journal for school. He said having one at Hogwarts is a Prewett family thing, and he did it, and Mom gave him Uncle Gideon's old one when he turned 17. He also said they come in handy for keeping all the girls straight, "you know, remembering which ones you kissed when." Git. Wish he lived in England instead of Egypt.

He had this one bewitched to look like it's full of school notes when anyone other than me opens it, so I don't have to worry about Fred and George getting their hands on in.

1 September 1991

I'm a Gryffindor! Take that, Fred. Told you I'd get in.

The other first-year Gryffindor blokes seem alright, nobody annoying or stuck-up. And get this, one of them's Harry Potter! He's pretty cool, too. I met him on the train. He was raised by Muggles and didn't even know he was a wizard until a month ago. And when this snobby bloke named Draco tried to butter him up, and told him Weasleys were "riff-raff," Harry told him to bugger off.

Turns out that spell George taught me was a dud. Go figure. And right when I was trying it, some girl comes barging into our compartment like she knows everything, and tells me the spell's rubbish when it doesn't work. Thank you so much.

12 September 1991

Harry and I almost got eaten by a massive, three-headed dog today. Put that on the list of "things to never tell Mum about." I know Dumbledore warned us about the third-floor corridor, but really. Who can remember things like that when they're running from Filch? There should be a sign or something.

And you know who tagged along just so she could give us a lecture? Hermione Granger. She is the most bossy, overbearing, annoying person I have ever met. She could give Percy pointers. I wish she was in Ravenclaw where she belongs so she'd leave Harry and I alone.

Oh, yeah — Harry is Griffindor's new seeker! The youngest in a century. It's a bit unfair, really, since I've been flying since before I could walk (thanks to Charlie), and he only got on a broom for the first time yesterday. But I think the universe owes him one, you know?

11 October 1991

So, hypothetically, if I fail potions, do I have to go home and be a squib?

31 October 1991

I just knocked out a troll!

Hermione Granger thinks I'm a total idiot, right? And today after Charms I might have said something to the blokes about her being, well, terrible, and she might have overheard me and started to cry.

She's probably right about that idiot thing.

But hey, I made up for it tonight because a MOUNTAIN TROLL got into the castle, and it cornered Hermione in a bathroom, and she would have died, but Harry and I got there first and saved her. I distracted it while Harry got Hermione out of the way. Then Harry takes this great leap onto its back, and just as the troll is about to hit him, I use a levitation spell to knock it out with its own club! That's teamwork, that is.

The professors showed up, and I thought McGonagall was going to kill us, but Hermione lied to her and said the whole thing was her fault. McGonagall believed her and actually give Gryffindor points because we rescued her.

I guess Hermione's not so bad. Maybe the troll thing will convince her that Harry and I aren't complete idiots.

9 November 1991

I knew it, Snape's out to get Harry — almost killed him during his first Quidditch match today (which Harry still won handily, of course). Snape was trying to throw Harry from his broom with some hex, but Hermione set his robes on fire. You know, she's really fierce for a bookworm. Remind me never to get on her bad side.

Also, Harry saw yesterday that Snape's leg is all mangled, so he figures Snape is trying to get past that massive dog and get what it's guarding. And guess what? The dog is Hagrid's (calls him "Fluffy"), and he says it's guarding something for Dumbledore and Nicolas Flamel, whoever that is.

11 December 1991

Next time we fight a troll, I'm using Draco Malfoy as bait.

27 December 1991

I tried to distract him, but Harry's back at that mirror again tonight. He's obsessed with it.

Dad says not to trust things that are too good to be true, and that's the mirror all over. What if it enchants people or something? I mean, the crazy thing had Harry and me fighting over it after five seconds, and we never do that.

Wish I could've seen Harry's family in it, though.

31 January 1992

We finally found out who Flamel is — an alchemist who made the "Philosopher's Stone," which can turn anything to gold and make you live forever. He's 665 years old. Maybe if we tell him that Snape's trying to steal the thing, he'll let us use it once as a reward. I wonder how many galleons a solid gold Shooting Star would get me.

22 February 1992

I can now die a happy man, for I, Ronald Weasley, have punched Draco Mafoy in the face. It was all I imagined and more.

And while I was having it out with Draco, Neville took on Crabbe and Goyle — all by himself. I have seriously underestimated that man.

11 March 1992

George called me Ronniekins in front of their friend Lee last week, and now the all older guys are calling me that. I have got to get Hermione to teach me a few good hexes. Maybe if I tell her they're for Malfoy.

24 April 1992

Because my life wasn't interesting enough, Hagrid now has a dragon (named "Norbert," of course), and its our job to keep him out of jail — Hagrid, that is, not the dragon.

10 May 1992

Bloody, stupid dragon! McGonagall caught Harry and Hermione seeing Norbert off, and took 150 points from Gryffindor. 150 POINTS — FROM HER OWN HOUSE.

And where was I? In the hospital wing because the bloody dragon bit me on Friday. Hagrid had better be grateful. Everyone hates us now, and it's all his fault.

27 May 1992

Harry says that You-Know-Who is in the Forbidden Forest right now. He and Hermione were there on detention (because of Norbert), and Harry saw some weird, cloaked thing drinking unicorn's blood. His scar from You-Know-Who started to hurt, and the thing tried to attack him, but a centaur scared it away. The centaur told Harry the thing was You-Know-Who, and now Harry thinks Snape is trying to get the Philosopher's Stone so he can bring You-Know-Who back.

Harry and Hermione don't know much about the war, but I've heard stories from my Dad and Mum, and it was bad. All kinds of people died. Two of my uncles got killed, and some of my parents' friends.

Harry thinks the first thing You-Know-Who will do if he comes back is try to kill him again. The curse bounced back at him last time, but nobody knows why. What if it was a fluke? And You-Know-Who hates wizards who aren't pure blood. What about Hermione?

Sometimes Harry's life sounds like a fairy tale: "As the orphan boy wandered deeper into dark forest, the evil wizard appeared before him. With a terrible laugh, he raised his crooked wand to strike — when suddenly, a brave and good-hearted centaur…"

I hope it's the kind of story where he turns out to be a prince or something. I like happy endings.

30 May 1992

I think Harry's having nightmares again (I've had a few myself). And everybody's still ignoring him and Hermione for losing all those points. Like they've never lost any.

The thing is, just about any Gryffindor would've helped Hagrid, if they knew. But we can't tell them what happened, because it would get out, and then he'd get in trouble. What's the point of being brave if everyone hates you for it?

I wish I would've been there.

5 June 1992

Harry beat You-Know-Who again last night, at least I think he did. Dumbledore won't tell us what happened, and Harry's still unconscious. But Dumbledore says he's alright, and he'll wake up soon.

Harry, Hermione, and I went after the Philosopher's Stone, so we could get it before Snape did. All the professors had made some kind of trap, but we beat them. One of them was a giant wizard chess game, and we all got to be pieces (I was the knight). I got knocked about by the queen a bit, but we won in the end.

Anyway, Harry eventually had to go on alone, so Hermione and went back to get Dumbledore. When we found him, he already knew where Harry was, and he went to help. Hermione made me go to the hospital wing, and an hour later, Dumbledore (looking kind of scary) came in carrying Harry. He was really pale and wasn't moving at all.

Dumbedore had us tell him what happened (he knew my name!), but he won't say anything about Harry and You-Know-Who. He says that's Harry's business, and he can tell us when he wakes up. He also says that Snape had nothing to do with anything. He wouldn't even listen to our evidence.

I got to skip class today, because of my head, but Hermione says that Snape was in potions. George says their Defense Against the Dark Arts class was canceled, though, and nobody has seen Quirrell.

I told Hermione not to worry about Harry, because Dumbledore isn't worried, and he's always right.

6 June 1992

Hermione and I visited Harry at the hospital again tonight, but he's still not awake.

Everyone is treating Hermione and I like heroes or something, which is kind of cool. I must have told the story about a hundred times. There's lot of rumors going around about what happened between Harry and You-Know-Who, but they're pretty stupid — like about Harry fighting a dragon and setting You-Know-Who on fire.

Hermione only cried a little today, as we were leaving the hospital. And when we got out to the corridor, she hugged me and told me I was a real Gryffindor for being so brave with the chess game. If Fred and George every find out, I'm done for.

Hermione says Harry looks less pale today than he did yesterday.

7 June 1992

Harry's awake and okay! He says it was Quirrell trying to kill him and get the stone all year, and that Snape was try to protect him, and that You-Know-Who was living in the back of Quirrell's head!

The Philosopher's Stone was somehow inside that weird mirror, and Harry managed to get it out. Quirrell tried to take it from him, but his skin started to burn when he touched Harry. So Harry grabbed him and held on, and that's the last thing he remembers. He says that Dumbledore says he almost died.

Oh, and a fifth-year Ravenclaw challenged me to a chess game after dinner, and I beat him. I can't wait to tell Dad.

8 June 1992

We won the House Cup!

Dumbledore gave Gryffindor a bunch of points right there at the feast tonight, no warning or anything — 10 points for Neville standing up to us when we snuck out of the common room, 50 for Hermione beating the puzzle with the bottles, 50 for Harry fighting You-Know-Who, and 50 for me playing "the best-played game of chess Hogwarts has seen in many years."

Dumbledore had this sneaky little smile the whole time, too, like he enjoyed seeing the Slytherins squirm. He's great. I want to remember the look on Malfoy's face forever.

Author's note: All dates courtesy the Harry Potter Lexicon.