This was an idea I came up with that looks at what might have happened if Morgana had ever had doubts about what she was plotting with her sister, and if she thought about the people she had left behind.

I've got an idea to make this a two-shot, but I thought I'd just put up the first half and see if you think – should I continue it?

If anyone wants anything a little more light-hearted, I'm currently working on a series of humorous drabbles, based on random words people send me, feel free to have a read :)

Reviews are awesome! :D

What Have You Done?

"I, I've been waiting for someone like you,

But now you are slipping away.

Why? Why does fate make us suffer?

There's a curse between us.

Between me and you.

What have you done?"

Within Temptation, What Have You Done?

Part One

Merlin lay awake, staring at the darkness, as if hoping to see the light of hope flickering in the shadows, to brighten his troubled mind.

Night after night he would stare into the dark, and yet he would see nothing.

In these times, Merlin thought of only one person – Morgana. Two months ago she had disappeared, taken by her sister, Morgause. Everyone saw it as a kidnapping, but they were wrong, it was a rescue. And if it wasn't for Merlin Morgana wouldn't have needed to be rescued; she wouldn't have been dying in his arms. Now she was gone, lost in the dark, and Merlin found that he had torn his own heart into pieces, knowing that if Morgana survives the poison he had given her, she would become a new Morgana. A Morgana that would want to destroy Camelot, kill those closest to his heart. But she didn't know the damage that had already been done to Merlin's heart, to his soul, because it was she who he cared for most.

Lying in the dark, Merlin stretched his mind, searching for Morgana. It was possible that she was able to use telepathy, like he and the Druids. If she could then he could talk to her, beg her not to change, beg her to come back because he missed her more than he ever imagined, or just beg for her forgiveness.

But Merlin could find nothing, no sign of Morgana's open mind that he could reach for, talk to. Yet still he cried out in the dark, he cried in his head:

Please Morgana, please, come back. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. Can you hear me? You have to be out there somewhere. I need you to hear me; I need you to come back. Please. I love you.

Morgana thundered down the corridor, rage flashed in her eyes like lighting, and her temper raging like a storm in her head.

She had had an argument with Morgause again, and arguments with her sister were never pretty.

They had been discussing what they were going to do if the people of Camelot did not accept Morgana to be the new Queen, when that time came. If they didn't accept her, their allegiance would still be with Uther, and they could begin a rebellion.

"If the people will not bow down to you sister, then they will bow their head for the axe."

Morgana's eyes narrowed, she had a feeling what her sister meant by this, and she didn't like it. "What do you mean?"

Morgause gave a small, sad smile. Although Morgana had a feeling she may just be trying to fool herself into thinking her sister was looking sad about slaughter. She avoided the dark glint of joy in her eyes, because who wants to think the worst of the ones they love?

"Those who do not accept you as Queen, do not deserve to live in your Kingdom. We shall execute those who are not loyal."

Morgana was shocked by the violent words that her sister spoke. "Surely there must be another way?"

Another smile. "The only way to ensure a powerful rule for our new Queen."

But Morgause didn't understand. She hadn't spent most of her life living beside Uther. How did he become a great and powerful King? By putting hundreds, if not thousands, of people to death. And those people were innocent, some were just children. Morgana had to watch those people lose their lives at the hand of the tyrant King, and vowed to make it stop. But now her sister was telling her that if she became Queen, she would have to do the same thing.

The people who would side with Uther would be fools, yes, but they did not deserve to die because of it. It wasn't right.

Morgana still remembered the piercing, soul-ripping cries of a woman who saw her own son murdered by the hands of Uther. She still remembered Gwen's cries of sorrow and despair as her father's body was taken out of the castle. She would not inflict that sort of pain on her own people. She refused.

As Morgana continued to march through Cenred's castle, unaware of where she was going, knowing that she was trying to burn off all this anger that had bubbled up in her veins, she passed a tall mirror, almost reaching to the ceiling of the grand, dark and gothic corridor.

Morgana froze. She turned back and stared at the mirror.

For a moment she thought she had seen her sister.

It was just a flash out of the corner of her eye, a trick of the mind. But for a few moments Morgana was sure she had seen her sister march past the mirror, only she had dark hair, instead of blond. However when she turned back and looked in the mirror, all she saw was herself, a mixture of anger and fear etched on her face.

She was so sure she had seen Morgause.

Morgana loved her sister, no doubt about it; she couldn't imagine a life without her sister now. But Morgana couldn't deny that what Morgause thought, said and wanted, were dark and destructive. Things that, only a year ago, Morgana would refuse point blank to have any part in. But now she had just so much, she could even fool herself into thinking she was her sister. Was that a good thing?

Morgause wanted to get rid of Uther, make him suffer for all the things that their people had suffered because of him. Fine, nothing wrong with that, in fact Morgana would be happy to see it done. But there were some people that Morgause would harm as well, and through all the training and the planning, Morgana had almost forgotten about them. But she would never ever forget the people that she loved as much of her sister. And as she stood in front of the mirror, staring at her shocked reflection, Morgana realised the damage she would do to them.

There was Gwen. Her best friend, a second sister to her. Morgana had missed her so much, especially when she was first taken away from Camelot. She tried to tell Morgause how she felt, but Morgause would only give her a sad smile and explain that some sacrifices would have to be made.

Those sacrifices were starting to add up.

Gwen had suffered at the hands of Uther. She had almost been executed for being a witch, and her father was murdered at Uther's hand, even when Morgana had tried to save him. And yet the sweet girl didn't want to take revenge on the King. Why not? Because she was a good person, because she believed that she shouldn't stoop as low as him.

Morgana felt the faint stirrings of recognition, she had once thought this, she didn't care how evil magic supposedly was, people didn't deserve to die. Despite the voice of Morgause in her head screaming at her that Uther was more like an animal than a person, Morgana knew he still was human. But for some reason she had decided to sink as low as the tyrant King, and now Gwen was left alone to face Uther, no mistress to try and stop him she ran into trouble again, no one to work for, no friend.

Morgana had sacrificed her best friend.

What have you done? A scathing voice in her head demanded, as tears pricked Morgana's eyes. But Gwen was not the only sacrifice.

What about Arthur? Arthur was like a brother to Morgana, and she had nothing against him. She could see the pain in his eyes whenever Uther gave him a brutal order, and being the King's son, he couldn't say no, and yet he had gone out of his way to save his friends, not caring what the punishment may be at the end of the day. Morgana could tell that one day Arthur would have been a great King, fair and just…but now she was going to steal the Kingdom away from him, and that wasn't fair.

And despite all the arguments they had gone through, Morgana felt a sudden urge to see him again. Arthur would only blame himself for he disappearance, and Morgana wanted to speak to him just one more time, even if it was to tell him not to worry. But if things go to plan, he would have a lot more to worry about. Either that, or he would end up buried in the earth. He didn't deserve such treatment.

The voice in Morgana's head hissed again: what have you done?

But there was someone else, someone that Morgana couldn't stop thinking about, and sometimes those thoughts weren't full of hate.

Merlin.

Arthur's sweet caring manservant, someone who Morgana thought she could trust and was a loyal friend to everyone.

Until that fateful day when he changed her life forever.

Morgana could still remember the fear that clenched her chest when she realised that she had been betrayed, that she was dying. She remembered the panic. She couldn't breathe. She disparately tried to suck air into her lungs, but she never got enough, and it slowly got harder and harder. Merlin approached her, saying that he was sorry, but she didn't want to hear his pleas. She tried to fight him off, but her muscles were getting weaker and weaker as the poison seeped through her. She wanted to shout, scream at him, why have you done this to me? What have I done?

She was in so much pain, but not because of the poison.

The memories refreshed the hatred inside Morgana, but not for her sister, for Merlin. She wanted him to pay for what he had done, as much as Uther needed to pay for the suffering he had created.

Merlin was a good person, how could he suddenly turn so cruel?

But over time, when Morgana lay awake at night, thinking of all things that had been done, and were yet to come, another question was beginning to form in her mind.

What if she had deserved it?

Deep down she knew Merlin was a good person, so there must have been a good reason for him to do such a thing. Morgause had told her it was because he was evil and cold-hearted, he was not her friend, but Morgana knew there was more to him than her sister assumed. She remembered when Merlin went back to his home village to save his friends and family from bandits, an evil person wouldn't have done that. Morgana hadn't told Morgause about that journey, she hadn't told anyone how proud she felt of him that he felt a duty to help.

What had changed in Merlin to make him suddenly turn against his friends?

Nothing, it was Morgana who had changed.

She was the one who wanted to take the throne, she was the one who wanted Uther to suffer, she was the one who was miles away, plotting in a castle with her long lost sister to bring devastation on a Kingdom she had once loved.

Merlin was doing none of that, Merlin was probably still serving Arthur, trying to help the ones he loved in any way he could, trying to save the Kingdom whenever it came under attack.

Soon, he would be trying to save Camelot from Morgana.

If Morgana closed her eyes, she could picture it. A blood-soaked battlefield, even the sun had stained the sky red as it set. The only two living people left were her and Merlin, standing in front of each other, hate and anger in their eyes, and at the same time a wonderment of how things could have gone so badly, sorrow that their happiness they shared was now nothing more than a memory.

When Morgana opened her eyes, she only saw herself staring back, a facial expressions a mixture of anger, hate, wonderment and sorrow.

As if she didn't even realise she was doing so, Morgana watched as her reflection opened its mouth and whispered the question that was now screaming in her head:

"What have you done?"

She didn't want any of this, but that wasn't the worst of it, oh no. There was far worse to come in Morgana's thoughts, that made her eyes fill with tears and made her want to turn away from her reflection, as it caused her so much pain and shame.

If she threw away all the anger that she felt for Merlin, burnt it in the flames of her regret that she had left everything behind, she found friendship in her heart, a small spark, just visible through the ashes. But there was still more, she could dig deeper. And as she pulled away the spark of friendship, (keeping it close to her, because it was something she no longer wished to burn) she found something at the bottom of her heart, locked away so she couldn't see it.

Morgana had felt so much more for Merlin from the start. It was his caring nature, it was his bravery, it was his loyalty and his smile that made Morgana smile back, it made her think that perhaps things weren't so bad after all, everything was going to be all right.

And who wasn't to say Merlin didn't regret what he had done? Sometimes, when Morgana lay awake at night, she thought she heard his voice, calling from such a distance it was little more than a desperate whisper.

I'm sorry…I'm so sorry…please come back…

When Morgana woke the next day, unsure if what she had heard was a dream or reality, she longed to hear his voice again. She longed to see him again; she just wanted to say she was sorry too.

Slowly, Morgana unlocked the secret that was hidden in her heart.

And found Merlin's heart there.

Shocked by the image Morgana found herself looking at in her mind's eye; she backed away a little from the mirror as if it was that that had given her the image.

But of course, it had always been Merlin's heart. No one else could replace it.

It was then that Morgana suddenly realised with horror, what she had done.

She had thrown away her chance of happiness, she had turned against the one she loved and she would never see his smile again. In agreeing to work with Morgause, she had broken her own heart, and she hadn't even realised.

Morgana stared at her reflection in the mirror, and watched as her face changed from fear to anger. So much anger it seemed to fill the whole reflection, it felt like it was radiating off the walls around her. Heat battered down on her shoulders as more hatred grew in her heart. But it was the person in the mirror that she hated now.

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!"

Morgana let out the scream of a banshee, running forward and smashing the mirror with her fist. The glass shattered under the power of her anger. It froze in place for a few seconds and then fell into a thousand pieces at her feet. When she looked down Morgana could still see fragments of her reflection, her old life, staring back up at her.

"Morgana?"

Morgana whipped around at the sound of the soft voice, filled with worry. She turned to see Morgause standing beside her, the worry in her voice matching that in her eyes. She suddenly glanced down at Morgana's hand, and her eyes widened.

Morgana looked down just as she felt a sharp stinging pain, and saw blood dripping from her hand, a deep cut had formed in her palm from where she had smashed the mirror.

Morgause stared at her sister, and opened her mouth to say something, but Morgana got there first.

"What have you done?" She sobbed.

But before Morgause could answer, Morgana turned and ran.

Through the darkness and silence of his chamber, Merlin heard a voice. As desperate, sobbing voice as its owner ran out of her prison and through the forest, trying to escape her guilt. Her thoughts running through his mind, calling to him.

Merlin? Are you out there? I'm so sorry, I didn't realise what I was doing. I need to wake up from this terrible nightmare Merlin, I need you to wake me up. I need you to know that I'm sorry.