Chapter 1: People Who Make Good First Impressions Usually Suck 12

The smell of sukonbu followed the person as they stepped off the ship and onto this new planet. She left the landing area to inside a office space where she was to get 'legal papers' or something. Apparently the inhabitants were unaware that they were overrun by amanto. Pshh, idiots.

'Environment too harsh for humans my ass, lazy bastards!' she thought as she saw a bunch of the fleshy beings scramble to get her papers for a 'hunter exam' or something. They're latest client wanted a license for something. She didn't really care what, the pay was magnificent, but their dwindling cash only allowed for one of them to get one ticket.

'Give them hell while I'm gone Sadaharu!'

At the thought of her beloved companion, her blue eyes watered. It was an epic battle against the airport and a tearful goodbye, and she departed to the foreign planet alone.

Turns out this government was even more kiss-ass than the bafuku, and she got a free ride out of the middle of nowhere -the launch was secret- straight to the exam location.

She got excited when she was lead into a restaurant, but didn't even get to enjoy her steak with some clown weirdo that got there the same time as her staring at her. Seriously, who dresses like that? He was smiling creepily at her, it but she didn't bother to glance twice at him when there was food in front of her.

She was given a plate with the number 43 and immediately put it on her butt just for the hell of it. The doors opened up to a room full of ugly old men -in her eyes- that all turned to sneer at the two of them. She admitted, they probably attracted a lot of attention, with his weirdness and her orange hair and red outfit. She most likely radiated awesomeness anyway. She couldn't blame them. Weirdo ignored her and walked away, which she was silently glad for. She didn't want to hear whatever would end up coming out of his mouth.

She spent a lllooooonnnnngggg time in that room. She was bored out of her mind and her stomach was yelling death threats at that point. She was forced to move her number to her chest to sit comfortably. She used the stream of incoming people to keep track of time, but it wasn't very reliable. The only thing that could make it worse would be sitting out in the sun. It was around number 289 that one of the many grubby old men approached her. He was number 16.

"Hi! I'm Tompa!" She wasn't too judgmental of appearance, as she was friends with a bunch of weirdos, but she could tell that this guy was going to be plain annoying. She only half listened to him with her finger up her nose. She flicked a particularly slimy one at him as he was bragging about being a veteran of the exam.

"Doesn't that mean you suck?" She completely stopped paying attention to the loser as he tried to redeem himself and only sat up from her bored posture when her offered her something to drink. She grabbed and chugged it, not really caring what it tasted like.

"Hey old man! How many more of these d'you got?" He continued to talk at her while supplying a seemingly endless amount of cans. It gave her an unpleasant twinge in her bowels, but she shrugged it off.

Around the arrival of person number 311, Tompa started to look nervous. When the girl was busy with her new can, her mumbled to himself, "How is this possible? Such a powerful laxative..." Unfortunately for him, she finished quickly and heard him.

"Is that what it is? You were lookin' kinda constipated-aru. Lax...ative... Isn't that what Zura puts on curry?" By the time she was finished, Tompa was gone. "Pshh, coward. I wasn't full."

By number 353, she was once again bored of the inside of her nose and the people around her, so she left her spot to find something to eat.

Tompa was nowhere to be found, but she did find someone to talk to that knew what sukonbu was. She forgot his name as soon as he said her favourite snack was disgusting. He claimed to be a ninja, but she found herself comparing him to the ninjas in Edo, and found him a lot less amusing. So he didn't even earn the name ninja-man, but was stuck with bald-dude (Baldy was taken by her father) for the rest of the time he would know her.

She got bored with bald-dude by 384.

Continuing her hunt for Tompa, she tried to see over people by jumping on top of heads. She pissed quite a few people off, but found it fun and postponed her search to jump around a bit. She went for the people that weren't paying attention or looked like they had slow reflexes, but still had a couple bad run ins with some snakes and knives. she spotted Tompa up on some pipes by 401, but he had already accosted another group by the time she was able to find a safe path back over there. She got there just in time to see a boy around her age (405) spit out one of Tompa's drinks.

"It tastes very bad! I think it's expired!"

"You think so?" Tompa chuckled nervously. She saw her opportune moment.

"Hey old man! You look all constipated again. You tryin' ta feed more people your 'laxative' again?" Two glares were sent Tompa's way. He slunk off, but she didn't care anymore. These people were more interesting.

"What's a laxative?" Asked the boy in green.

"Don't know-aru." She answered, nor did she care. She was about to start the conversation, but the boy beat her to the punch.

"Oh yeah! My name's Gon, what's yours?"

"Kagura, Queen of the Kabuki district."

I Don't Even Own the Chapter Title.