The Journal

Prologue: Pandora's Thoughts

It was a moment of weakness, the chance to study him- the chance to see things from his eyes, was a temptation I could not resist. The journal lay in my hands heavy leather and parchment weighting my limbs down and pinning them to my lap. My eyes were glued to the worn brown cover, the very pages that could very well hold the secrets behind every word he'd ever spoken to me.

It was too easy; I listened in the shadows for the gruff voice that should've been questioning my actions, but not a sound came. Would he know that I had been here, the same way he knew whenever I looked into him?

I told myself that regardless of whether he knew I'd looked into it or not, I would not regret this decision. He was my teammate; I should know him better than anyone else in the world. I worked beside him, I'd seen him kill, and I'd seen the terribly foolish side of him that thought he could fight the death of our sensei. I'd seen him at his most passionate, something only a few people could say.

He knew my every thought, could predict my every move just as he could predict an opponent's moves in a game of shogi. Choji knew every thought –well, besides the 200 plus moves ahead- that went through that thick skull of his. I knew every thought that went through Choji's head, sure most of them had to do with food, but I still knew him better than anyone else in Konoha. I knew him better than I knew my father even, so why shouldn't I know Shikamaru to the same caliber?

I didn't understand why Shikamaru would feel the need to keep things hidden from me; it wasn't as though I could ever outsmart him. If anything wouldn't the knowledge bring us closer together as a team? I was dying to know… what was so important that he wouldn't let me perform my jutsu on him? What was he hiding from me and me alone?

If anything, this journal would tell me. I could practically smell Shikamaru on it, the leather covers tips were ruffled from where his fingers had pulled at it so much, brushing my fingers on the ends of the pages I could feel the soft fibers that had frayed. Surely a journal that had experienced as much love as this one would hold some good secrets?

So with a heavy sigh I lifted the cover and dove into the depths of Shikamaru's thoughts.

Two Years Later

It was fall in the Land of Fire, and everywhere she looked the leaves of the forest were tumbling from jagged wooden branches to a forest floor full of bracken. The winds were blowing faster than she remembered and they whipped her hair behind her even as she stood still in the trees limbs.

"Ino?" her comrade's voice was quiet.

Golden light filtered though the leaves and cast a prism of warm colors all around her. In contrast, the cool breeze blew through her thin purple camisole and brushed against the tops of her thighs, her regulation skirt ruffled to the breeze and very vaguely she noticed the feeling of the nylon shifting. The weather was so different compared to what she'd been immersed in for the past two years; she'd forgotten how cold the Land of Fire could get and had dressed for the warmth she remembered.

"Yes Tsuyoshi?" she asked, a whisper in return.

"We need to keep moving if we plan to get there before nightfall." From below her, he jumped to her branch. His hand came to rest on her shoulder.

Nerves suddenly choked her, home again after two years. Would anything have changed? Would everyone be the same? How would they react to her return? Would they have missed her?

Beside her Tsuyoshi let out an exasperated breath, but she was too lost in her worries to hear. What about her teammates? What about Sakura? Would they forgive her for taking the mission? Would they forgive her for not contacting them in years? Would Shikamaru?

Remembering the heavy weight of the journal in her hands that day two years ago, remembering the words she'd read, she felt a tremor run down her neck. She'd left to leave those words behind, she'd left in fear. It was cowardly and sad but she couldn't face him, not after looking into his journal the way she had. Hadn't they said curiosity killed the cat? Well, now Ino was certain she was a pussy.

She could still remember the bad feeling she'd felt in her chest afterwards. Guilt? Regret? No, she'd told herself she wouldn't regret her actions, so she'd named it fear.

What was the difference though? A bad feeling was a bad feeling, and she had a bad feeling. She hurt inside.

Shikamaru had known her better than she'd known herself, he'd been right to keep his secrets from her. She was an idiot, Shikamaru was the smartest person she knew and he knew her just as well as she knew Choji. Why wouldn't he make the right decision?

Tsuyoshi's hand gently pressed at her cheek and she turned to him. His mauve eyes looked into hers and he smiled gently, his pink lips pulling up at the corners only. "They're your family. They'll love you no matter what, just as I will."

Around his waist his forehead protector sparkled, the reflection of the setting sun flashed onto her face and she smiled in return. He'd left his country for her; he loved her more than anything in the world. Would that surprise her friends in Konoha? Would it surprise them that she'd manage to wrangle a foreign Nin to love her- the way she couldn't get those around her? She felt the bitter anger rising again, a false record was no thanks to that.

Well dirtied reputation or not, this man was in love with her.

She felt comforted by the fact, even though beneath that comfort was the still rising feeling of insecurity. She couldn't fool herself; she still wanted her friends to respect her. She still was dying to be liked by all the Nin in Konoha. She had an inkling that the desire she loathed so much would only unfold when she set eyes on her beloved home.

Home, could she really call it that if she didn't feel at home there?

"Let's go." She said, shaking her fears away.

Platinum blonde hair, ivory skin, eyes as blue as the sky, she was the embodiment of rare beauty in Konoha. She would not let insecurities hold her back; she would not become a wallflower. She was meant to be on display, she wasn't given her beauty to be pushed off to the side. She was given that beauty to be noticed, to be a leader. She would not waste the opportunities fate had so generously given her, she would not waste herself.

A/N: First Fanfic. ever, taking a page from tricksie (author of A Voice in the Wind, go check it out if you haven't already!) and thinking I'm going to explain a few things in these authors notes after chapters...

'It was a moment of weakness, the chance to study him- the chance to see things from his eyes, was a temptation I could not resist.' - If you think back, Ino was always top of the class when it came to book smarts. She liked to study, and despite her 'dumb blonde' characteristics she is a very smart girl. I'd like to try and put that into the story, I haven't seen many fanfics that showoff that aspect of Ino's personality.

'The journal lay in my hands heavy leather and parchment weighting my limbs down and pinning them to my lap.'- indicates the weight of the secrets and how eventually the secrets would have been revealed regardless of whether Ino read the journal.

'So with a heavy sigh I lifted the cover and dove into the depths of Shikamaru's thoughts.'- refers to Ino's clan jutsu.

'Around his waist his forehead protector sparkled, the reflection of the setting sun flashed onto her face and she smiled in return.' - hints at Tsuyoshi's origins.

'Would that surprise her friends in Konoha? Would it surprise them that she'd manage to wrangle a foreign nin to love her- the way she couldn't get those around her? She felt the bitter anger rising again, a false record was no thanks to that.' - gives you an idea of what rumors have been going around in Konoha.

uh... so yeah. Please review, I guess. I mean, I'm writing this for you guys. I'm not going to lie and say I write for myself, that'd be total bullshit. So please review and tell me you appreciate my hard work, and if you think I should continue. Constructive criticism is always welcome. If you tell me you liked the prologue I'll continue on.

S.Y.U.T.K