A/N: I came up with this idea when I originally thought about filling the prompt and I liked it, but for some reason totally wanted Blaine to have this issue. Again, real life kind of supplied this. My mother always hated having me in the bathroom when she was brushing her teeth or being in there while I was brushing mine. She thought toothbrushes and brushing teeth were the grossest things. Also, this is very long and involves lots of things that don't have to do with the whole bodily fluid thing but I wanted to write it and it just kept coming. So sue me. Here you go!
Intermission: One time Blaine was embarrassed by his bodily functions. Kinda.
The anticipation was killing Kurt. It seemed like 4:30 was never going to get there. Kurt had cleaned every surface of his room and the bathroom and the kitchen at least three times this morning already. He had finally gotten tired of Finn complaining about the lemony smell of the cleaning agents (who doesn't like the smell of lemons?) and had relegated himself to sit in the armchair closest to the front door to listen for the sound of a car engine.
Kurt's boyfriend was coming to spend the night. And not like he had before in August when his parents went to visit Blaine's great aunt in Florida where Blaine brought his bags and camped out on the couch with Burt strategically leaving his and Carole's bedroom door open and setting up a new motion detected air freshened that produced a smell so violent that Carole erupted into sneezes, whether she was awake or not.
This time, Kurt Hummel's boyfriend was coming to stay the night in his bed! Alright, so that had technically happened before once but drunk and dead tired and non-romantically inclined moments didn't count.
Kurt and Blaine had shared Ohio ground in a tent once, which also didn't count due to the other five boys with them in the 8-person tent. They had also snuck naps plenty of times when their satiated bodies couldn't stay alert, but setting an alarm and being worried about being caught took a lot of the enjoyment out of it.
However, around 3 weeks ago, the unexpected, undesired surprise of Burt coming home to them in a rather compressing situation involving no clothes, plenty of personal lubricant, and a very exuberant and vocal Blaine meant that they were no longer worried about being caught; they already had been.
After several long, awkward, and (although Kurt would never admit it out loud) heartwarming talks about healthy sex lives and gay teens staying safe in Ohio and the pros and cons of an open door policy, Kurt had been granted permission not only to close his bedroom door with Blaine if he ever needed or wanted to, but also permission to upgrade Blaine's lodging during his upcoming stay while his parents went on a weeklong second honey moon in Florence.
And while Kurt was understandably excited about sharing a bed with his insanely attractive boyfriend of 11 months, after one of his talks with Burt discussing how intimacy was more than sex, he was more excited for sharing a bed simply with the man he loved.
Kurt leaped from the chair at the sound of the doorbell, having missed the noise either due to his reverie or due to the quiet purr of Blaine's well-to-do car. Opening the front door, Kurt saw his boyfriend standing and smiling, covered in his winter coat and grasping the handle of an expensive piece of luggage that Kurt was already coveting.
Kurt was nervous all of a sudden.
"Hi," Kurt squeaked out.
"Uh, hi." Blaine grinned.
Kurt moved so Blaine could get out of the cold and stood watching Blaine shed his winter wear and hang his layers in the coat closet, something he did nearly every other day, but seemed like so much more to Kurt today.
"Hey Blaine," Carole greeted, coming down the stairs. "I figured Kurt let you in, but I figured I should check. I'm just headed to start dinner. You go get all settled in and make sure you haven't forgotten anything that you'll need. We can always make a Wal-Mart run or a quick trip to your house if needed."
"Thanks Carole," cooed Blaine. "Thanks again for letting me stay in your home. I know it's not really necessary but I didn't really want to be alone for a week and while I think my parent's trust me to feed and water myself for a week, they feel better about it too."
"Well, you're never as grown up as you think you are. We're glad to have you here, even if it is just to combat loneliness." Carole patted Blaine on the arm and retreated to the kitchen, after throwing a knowing smirk towards Kurt. Carole knew how exciting this was to Kurt; she had talked him down last night during a midnight scrubbing of the laundry room.
Kurt glanced back to Blaine and was met with an expression that left Kurt thinking that Blaine was excited too. They leaned in to share a kiss.
When they broke apart, Kurt took a steeling breath and steadied himself.
"I know that we talked about, well, sleeping arrangements, with my dad last weekend but I want you to know that you're still allowed to back out if you want to. If you feel uncomfortable sharing a bed with my family here I totally understand. I mean, not that we're going to do anything—because we're not—"
Kurt felt the need to clarify that point one more time, for both of them since they both tended to become carried away easily.
"—but the pull out couch is just as comfortable as it always is. I mean, if you want it." Kurt couldn't help but hear the slight pleading tone in his last statement despite his desire to legitimately give Blaine the option. Blaine was blushing, but he looked amused.
"Kurt, really, I want nothing more than to sleep with you in your bed. I'm, uh, I'm pretty excited about it actually."
"Whew," Kurt exhaled. "Okay. Uh, good. Because I am too. Let's, uh, let's take your bag upstairs."
Despite his previous worries, Kurt managed to survive the evening. Once he had Blaine's presence to calm him, it was really like any other Friday evening that Blaine came over for family dinner. The family and Blaine ate dinner together while Kurt berated Finn for his obscene appetite and Blaine berated Kurt for his bird-like appetite. Kurt and Blaine washed the dishes while Finn put up leftovers and wiped down the table. Then, everyone settled in front of the TV to argue over what program to watch until Carole chose something to the inability to comprise.
In fact, nothing was out of the ordinary until 10:30, when the Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives episode ended. Instead of Blaine untangling himself from Kurt on the love seat to bundle up and head home, he instead turned to Kurt and quietly asked, "Ugh. I'm getting a bit tired. Can I take a shower?"
"Dude," Finn interjected. "I hope you're gonna use the shower while you're here because I've tried to go a week before, and it's just too long."
There was a slight awkward silence and the population in the living room contemplated the bizarre ritual that was Finn's hygiene routine before Carole pitched in.
"Of course, Blaine. This is your house for the week."
Kurt reluctantly separated himself from his boyfriend.
"C'mon," Kurt said, offering his hand. "I'll show you."
"Kurt?" Kurt and Blaine stopped short of the stairs to listen to what Burt had to say.
"I know I gave you permission to sleep in the same room, but that doesn't mean I don't mind you showering together."
Kurt could practically feel the heat radiating from Blaine's blush beside him. And Kurt was sure that he, like Kurt, was currently thinking of the few times that Blaine and Kurt actually had shared the exact same shower that Kurt was about to escort Blaine to.
"Tsk! Dad! I'm just going to show him where the towels are and how to manage the controls! I can't believe that you would think that I would take advantage of this situation and you know I shower in the mornings because of–"
Kurt stopped his rant short when he saw the evil grin on his father's face.
Burt chuckled. "I'm just teasing."
Kurt responded with a classic eye roll but he just couldn't bring himself to do a good job of hiding his smile.
After collecting Blaine's toiletry bag and pajamas from Kurt's room, Kurt escorted Blaine to the upstairs hall bathroom that Finn and Kurt shared and did indeed show Blaine where the towels were and how the knobs worked. After all, Blaine had been fairly distracted the last time he had used this shower and Kurt knew that he, if put in the same situation, would have no recollection of how the shower worked and mostly just memories of how the shower caused water to drip down Blaine's body.
Kurt returned to his bedroom to fluff the pillows once more and change into his pajamas, carefully selected for this first evening. While Blaine was showering, Kurt nipped into Burt and Carole's bathroom to wash his face to get a start on his evening routine. By the time that Kurt had finished up at his vanity, he could no longer hear water running and could see by the crack of light in the hallway that Blaine had opened the bathroom door a bit.
Kurt figured that he'd run into the bathroom, check on Blaine, and brush his teeth while he was at it. Pushing the bathroom door open slightly, Kurt called out. "Blaine?"
Suddenly, all Kurt was aware of was the pain in his elbow where the bathroom door had slammed into it.
"Oh. I'm sorry, were you not decent? I saw the door cracked." Kurt was a bit confused. There weren't many things that Kurt and Blaine hadn't done in front of each other, or at least, things that could be done with a bathroom door cracked.
There was a pause, the sound of water running, some rummaging, and suddenly, Blaine was standing before Kurt again, dressed in lovely flannel pajama pants that seemed to do wonders for his butt and an old t-shirt. He looked flustered.
"Sorry," Blaine panted. He was out of breath? "I, uh, I had the door cracked because the mirror fogged up on me. I was trying to let some of the steam out."
Kurt was still curious. "What were you doing with the door open that I couldn't see?"
Blaine chuckled awkwardly. Kurt couldn't think of the last time he'd seen Blaine awkward, maybe never. Obtuse, sure. Inappropriate, probably. But awkward? Not Blaine. Kurt's eyes narrowed.
"Nothing," he stuttered out. "I'll be done in just a few minutes."
"O-kaaaay."
Blaine moved to close the bathroom door but Kurt wasn't having that. Grabbing Blaine by the waistband, Kurt reeled him in for an embrace.
"You look really good in these pants," Kurt whispered into a sensitive spot on Blaine's neck, all the while slowly walking him backwards into the bathroom.
Blaine was thoroughly distracted. Mission achieved. Kurt surreptitiously looked to his left on the bathroom counter. The only thing not belonging to Finn or Kurt himself on the counter was what looked to be the shirt that Blaine had worn that day. Kurt prided himself on his intelligence; the shirt had to be hiding whatever Blaine had been doing. Turning Blaine to press him against the bathroom counter, Kurt lifted the shirt gently with his right hand.
It was a toothbrush. A hurriedly rinsed toothbrush and its respective tube of toothpaste.
The gig was up. Blaine had noticed Kurt's distraction. Blaine tried to turn his head around.
"Kurt!" Blaine sputtered. What are you doing?" Blaine tore away and went to grab the items from the counter.
"You were embarrassed to be seen brushing your teeth?"
"Ugh! Kurt! Don't laugh. It's gross. I didn't want you to see me like that."
Blaine's pouty face was cute, but Kurt couldn't let this go.
"Wasn't it you who once gave me a lecture on saliva and how it was perfectly natural, especially since we have a relationship where we swap it all the time?" Blaine had started to re-rinse his toothbrush and repack his toiletry bag.
"Brushing your teeth is different. Your toothbrush is covered in all of the germs that you clean out of your mouth and even though you rinse it, it's still gross to think that you cover it in gross stuff every day. I replace my toothbrush every week or I get grossed out. That's why I use cheap ones," Blaine spits out, as if finishing his admission quickly would make it less painful, like ripping off a bandage.
"Plus I feel like the foam from toothpaste makes everyone look like some type of weird rabid animal," Blaine hurriedly added. Blaine's face looked a bit nauseous. It was adorable.
"Oh Blaine," Kurt crooned. "You are so cute. See? You have your own self conscious thing about your body." Kurt hugged him close and rocked a bit, as you would with a pouting child.
"Yeah," Blaine mumbled into Kurt's neck. "One. Much better than all of yours."
Kurt pulls back to kiss Blaine a bit deeper, like he's kind of wanted to since Blaine showed up, like he kind of wants to all the time. Finally separating and turning away, Kurt opens the medicine cabinet. Through the corner of his eye, he can see Blaine looking at him with that look—the look. The one that makes the butterflies in Kurt's stomach reappear even after 11 months. Kurt pulls out his own toothbrush and toothpaste to finish his bedtime ritual.
Blaine seems to only finally notice once the toothbrush makes it into Kurt's mouth. The look is gone immediately and so is Blaine. From the hall, Kurt can hear him.
"Ah! Kurt! That's gross! Not in front of me."
Kurt just laughs around his toothbrush and spits.
"Just go get in bed."
Kurt smiles at himself in the mirror. He expects to sleep well tonight.