Disclaimer: The characters aren't mine-they blong to JK Rowling. Altoids aren't mine, they belong to someone else, and Britany Spears is not mine either (thank the Goddess!). I'm using them without permission, don't sue me.

Note: This is written in response to a challenge issued to me by a friend. The requirements are as follows:
It has to ba Harry Potter story.
It has to have Altoids in it.
The phraze "Shh...I'm watching the spoons grow" has to be in it.
It has to have something anti-Britany Spears in it.
It has to have a celtic knot in it.
Someone has to say "but Hermione, your not a duck!"
Ron has to hit Harry.
Hermione has to hit Ron.
Hermione has to sing.
Someone has to say "Don't touch me, I'm a glass of orange juice" at some point.
The phraze "Yum! Mud!" has to be in it.
If anyones bored, I invite you to attempt writing a story with these elements. And if you do PLEASE e-mail it to me....my address is "[email protected]" Thanks. ~Harmony~

Shh....I'm Watching the Spoons Grow....

Ron Weasly opened the metal tin with caution. He had gotten this small box of muggle candy for Christmas from his father, and had learned-by experience-that "curiously strong mints" meant not to eat more than one at a time. Ron had, the first time, eaten ten Altoids-they were almost as potent as the Fire Mints he liked to buy in Hogsmede.

Ron carefully picked a mint out put it in his mouth. "Hey Harry," he said, glancing over at his black haired friend who sat on the floor, staring rapt at something before him. "Want one?" He offered the still open box.

"Shh! I'm watching the spoons grow!" Harry said in an urgent whisper.

"What?" Ron started in surprise, and gave the young wizard on odd look. "Watching the spoons grow?" Harry nodded without saying anything else.

Ron slowly stood and let the box of Altoids slide from his lap to the bed. He peered over Harry's shoulder and saw.....a celtic knot? Harry was staring at a celtic knot-watching the spoons grow???

Convinced Harry had lost it completely, Ron started out of the room, wanting to find Hermione to see if she knew what was wrong with their friend. Ron exited the room slowly then hurried away as soon as the door was closed. He found Hermione alone in the Griffindor common room, sitting on the floor in front of the fire. She was muttering something softly-loud enough for Ron to tell that she was muttering but soft enough that he couldn't figure out what.

"Hermione?" Ron began as he got closer to her.

The witch startled and glanced over her shoulder with a smile. "Hi, Ron!" she greeted her friend.

"What are you doing?" Ron asked, feeling slightly suspicious at her muttering, in spite of himself.

"Writing an anti-Britany Spears song!" Hermione said gleefully, waving a piece of partchment in front of Ron's flace fast enough to make him blink. "Want to hear?" Before Ron could stop her, Hermione broke out into song-singing her lyrics over the tune of "Oops I it again."

"Oh ho, what a slut,
A stupid whore,
No indevidual..."

Ron winced. Hermione could NOT sing, and the words....he shuttered. He didn't like Britany Spears-Harry had introduced him to her music-but he dislike Hermione's rendation of the song even more. And it was so unlike Hermione!

"Your music sucks,
You can't sing,
Go fuck yourself...."

Hermione paused and beamed at her friend. "Thats all I have now-what do you think?"

"Uh," Ron stammered, looking for a way out. Without thinking, he pointed towards the stairs. "Harrys acting wierd!" he blurted, thinking that Hermione was acting equally so, even as he said it.

Hermione's smile faultered. "Wierd?" She asked, her mind pulled away from her wretched song. Ron breathed a silent sigh of relief.

"Yeah," Ron continued. "Wierd-he's staring at a celtic knot and saying that he's watching the spoons grow..."

"Watching the spoons grow." Hermione repeated flatly, then slowly stood. She stowed the partchment with her song-if one could call it that-in her robe's pocket and headed to the stairs with Ron.

The redheaded wizard led Hermione to the room and carefully opened the door. Harry hadn't moved an inch. Hermione stepped in uncertainly, her eyes drawn to the knot design on the floor.

"See?" Ron nearly shouted, exhasperated.

Slowly, as though underwater or drugged, Harry turned to face them, and put a finger to his lips. "Shh," he commanded. "I'm watching the spoons grow."

Ron turned to Hermione and said-softer this time, "See? Wierd! Do you know what it is?"

Hermione turned her head towards Ron. "Quack?"

Ron took an involentary step back. "Quack?" he repeated uncertainly.

Hermione smiled and nodded happily. "Quack!" she declared in a louder voice. "Quack, quack, quack!"

"But Hermione," Ron protested, feeling oddly outnumber. "Your not a duck!"

"Quack?" Hermione cocked her head to one side.

Ron took her shoulders and shook them, as though to snap her out of what ever it was she was in. Indignant, Hermione protested (Quack!) and failed her arms to get out of his grasp. One of her hands made contact with Ron's jaw, and without thinking , Ron hit the duck-girl back.

Ron gasped as sonn as he realized what he had done. Hermione blinked, her eyes filling with tears, and gave him a hurt look. "Why'd you do that?" She asked softly.

"Your not a duck!" Ron exclaimed with glee. Hermione's eyes grew clouded with confusion.

"Shh....I'm watching the spoons grow," Harry said from the floor, grabbing his friend's attention.

"Whats with Harry?" Hermione asked, staring at the scarred wizard.

Ron shrugged. "I don't know," he admitted. "You were acting strange a moment ago, too-you snapped out of it when I hit you, though,"

"Hmm..." Hermione mused. "Maybe, just maybe, one of us should hit Harry too..." She exchanged a glance with Ron and quickly held up her hands. "I'm not doing it!"

Ron frowned slightly, and walked to stand over Harry. He just stood there for a moment, then drew back his hand and hit his friend with all his strength.

"Hey!" Harry protested, turning to glare at Ron, his left hand coming to smack his friend back, while his right rose to cover his head where Ron had hit him. "Why'd you do that?"

"Your back!" Hermione said happily. "Your not watching spoons grow anymore!"

"Spoons grow?" Harry asked with a confused look. He glanced down at the celtic knot on the floor. "I didn't know that spoons could grow! Hey Ron, why didn't you tell me that?" He laid a hand on Ron's shoulder.

Ron started badly, and pulled quickly away. "Don't touch me!" he protested. "I'm a glass of orange juice!"

Harry gave his friend an odd look, and Hermione just sighed. "I'm tired," she complained. "And hungry. What do you say we go get something to eat?" Her eyes lit up with a happy idea. "I know-lets go get some mud!"

Harry grinned, his eyes a glow with the same joy. "Yum! Mud!"


TA DA!