Mhm? I like the murmaids and Piwates?

Disclaimer and whatnot: If Cloud was a mermaid, I'd totally own him.

Random thought: You're not gonna like the end of this chapter...

Come What May (I'll Never be Ready)

"LEON!" Leon groaned. That was the third time since they set sail that someone called his name. Seriously, they just left the Treasure Island with no treasure. He was upset. He didn't need his crew yelling the fact every ten minutes.

Leon and his crew were collectors of sorts. Well, they were more commonly known as pirates. They stole from ships, plundered the lands, and if they were lucky, indulged in some hand-to-hand combat. However, their reputation preceded them. Sephiroth and his Navy patrol always found them. That's how they ended up with no treasure.

"SQUALL! GET OUT HERE!"

Leon inhaled before sighing loudly and stalking out to the front deck. "What, Yuffie?"

On the deck Yuffie and half the crew were trying to restrain something. It looked like a man, but as it flailed around, Leon noticed the very fish like tail.

"Is that a mer-," he was rudely cut off by an overexcited first mate.

"SQUALL, WE CAUGHT A MERMAID!"

A viscous growl sounded from thing on the deck before half the men holding it was thrown overboard.

"First of all, stop yelling Yuffie. I'm right here. Second, my name is Leon. Third, do something about it because it's messing up my ship." Leon side stepped someone else being flung off deck. "…And my crew."

"Sorry. But he's a feisty one. We need your help."

"Uh no, what are we going to do with a mer-person?"

"Think about it." Yuffie let go of the rope she'd been holding, in favor of talking with Leon.

Without her strength, the half-man on the deck was able to slide to the rails. "With a mermaid, we'd be the richest of the rich! If we can prove they exist then how much you think people will pay us to see him?"

Leon frowned thoughtfully, while Yuffie went back to help the struggling crew.

"Squall!"

"Fine! But I will not help at all with it."

"Well, can we at least keep it in your aquarium?"

"Yeah sure," he said not thinking, "-just as long as it doesn't eat my fish." Leon walked back to his office and slammed the door.

An hour later the merman was angrily jerking around Leon's aquarium. The tank wasn't very big; only two feet in width, six feet in length, and six feet in depth. The merman took up a lot of the space but he still moved around. He would place his hands on the glass, sneer, then he'd center himself and remain still for a minute before repeating the process over. The poor fish in the tank were huddled together near the bottom to avoid the new creature.

Yuffie sat in front of the tank, watching in fascination, and Leon sat at his desk, frowning at the whole situation.

Finally fed up, he walked over to Yuffie. "Have you tried talking with it?"

"Yeah, but he doesn't answer. I'm beginning to think mermaids can't talk," she said sadly.

Leon sighed but observed the mer-creature in his tank. Its skin was so pale, probably from staying so deeply underwater. It had blond hair that spiked up at odd angles and swayed gently in the water. It definitely had the features of a male; a strong jaw and a torso that was toned and long. But the fish side of the creature was no less fascinating. He could see where its hipbones stretched into a blue, lengthy, thin–like tail that flared around the bottom. But feature that popped out the most was those eyes.

Carefully Leon placed a hand on the tank and peered into the tank. The creature on the other side stilled and held the brunet's stare with brilliant blue eyes. Leon was entranced and the merman seemed to be just as intrigued. Slowly, as if not to frighten the brunet, the merman pressed a hand to the glass where Leon held his hand.

Immediately Leon's mind was filled with images of himself, arching in pleasure, mewling, and moaning like a wanton lover. Leon snatched his hand away as if he was burnt and glared at the merman in the tank. The merman just smirked.

"What happened? Are you ok?" Yuffie was instantly by Leon's side, grappling onto his arm and checking to see if his hand was ok.

"I'm fine Yuffie. But I'll have that fish for dinner if you don't do something with it."

Yuffie's eyes widened. "NO! You can't eat it!" She hugged the side of the tank. "I'll protect you, mermaid."

The blond glanced down at the girl holding the tank but after deeming her unimportant, his gaze shifted back to the sulking brunet.

"Squally is being a sourpuss. So we won't play with him."

The merman frowned but then tapped the tank gently to get Yuffie's attention. Yuffie pulled away, her heart racing from the prospect of the creature wanting to talk with her. She watched as the blond put his hand on the tank and she did the same.

An image of Leon putting his hand on the tank filled her mind. Then hesitantly a voice filtered in her head. "Squally?"

Yuffie gasped. That voice! It wasn't anything like she'd ever heard on land. He had the voice of an angel.

"Squall? You want Squall?" Yuffie questioned. She ignored Leon giving her and the half man the evil eye.

"Squall," the voice spoke again, this time more firmly. It was followed by the image of Leon putting his hand on the glass of the tank again.

"Squall, I think he wants you to touch the glass again."

"Stop calling me that Yuffie. My name is Leon. And I will not touch the tank again." Leon turned away and crossed his arms.

"Do you have a name?" She asked ignoring Leon again. This was more monumental than Leon's attitude.

The creature frowned, seeming to think for a moment before answering, "Cloud."

"His name is Cloud."

"Yuffie, get away from the tank." Leon stalked over and forcibly removed her.

"Squall, what are you doing?"

"He was hypnotizing you."

"He was not! He was being more accommodating than you!" She yelled. "Just touch the tank,

Leon!"

Leon stood startled. Yuffie never called him by his name unless she was too excited to remember to call him Squall or when she was too angry.

"Yuffie," he said placating. "I don't want to touch the tank because of what he might show me. I didn't like the images he showed me before."

Yuffie pursed her lips. "Would you just try? He might have something important to say."

Leon growled. "Fine, but after that, you move him somewhere else."

He cautiously reached out again and touched the tank. This time the merman smiled as his hand met with Leon's on the tank. Images of the blond holding him and nuzzling his neck filled his mind, followed by one word that made Leon jerk away so hard, he hit the floor.

Leon breathed uneasily for a few moments, staring up at the half–man in the tank. Yuffie looked as though she wanted to help him but stayed put, not understanding what was happening.

"What did he say," she whispered.

Leon glanced over at her, his mind still filled with unnatural fear and anger. "Mine."

Yuffie blinked. "That's it? You're afraid of him laying claim to you? Squall, you had me scared he threatened you or something." Yuffie laughed in relief.

"It's not funny Yuffie."

"I'm sorry. But you're supposed to be a fearless pirate, and here you are scared of a fish. It is pretty laughable." Yuffie held up a hand to stifle her laughs.

"Congratulations Yuffie, you've just earned the night watch," Leon said stoically. He stood and brushed himself off.

"Squall! That's not fair. You know I'm scared of the dark!" Yuffie whined.

"But you're supposed to be a fearless pirate," Leon mocked.

"You're being a loser. I don't want to keep watch. Besides, it's Cid's turn to keep watch!"

"Well, I guess you better go tell Highwind he's got the night off." With that Leon walked back to his desk. "And do something about that fish. He is not staying in here with me tonight."

"No. You handle it." Yuffie stalked over to the door and opened it.

"I'll get to Valentine to shoot it."

"And I'll tell him you're scared of it. What will the crew think of our fearless leader if they found out he was scared because a mermaid wants him?" Yuffie poked out her tongue, before slamming the door behind her.

Leon let out a frustrated howl. He was so taking his anger out on the crew the first chance he got.

Yuffie was such a little... Ugh he hated her right now. And if he had to sleep with a fish staring at him, he would… shoot himself! Or better yet, he'd shoot the fish! He was already paranoid enough. He didn't need the constant stare of a half human on him too.

He glanced at Cloud. The merman just raised a brow at him.

"What are you looking at?" He spat. He temporarily forgot his intense urge to stay away from it.

The merman simply brought up a hand to point at him.

Leon's eyes widened, before he went back to ignoring it all together. Maybe if he pretended the creature wasn't there, it would somehow magically disappear. However, not even five minutes later, Leon sputtered as he was drenched with water. He looked up to see the merman floating upside down, his arms comfortably folded on the bottom of the tank and his tail hanging lazily over the edge.

"What's your problem? Leave me alone. Why don't you bother Yuffie or something? I mean, she's the one that wants to keep you not me."

The mermaid motioned for Leon to come. Leon frowned deeply.

"NO! You…you got me twice, already. I'm not going anywhere near you." Leon crossed his arms and turned away. "Besides, you fit in better at a freak show," he murmured.

Another shower of water rained on him. This time the fish raised his tail in a 'come hither' motion. Leon growled was but determined not to look at it again. That lasted until he heard something hit the floor, something wet, and heavy.

Leon looked back to see the merman had climbed out of the tank and was slowly slithering over to him. Leon knew his eyes were the size of saucers. But he had to do something. He glanced to the case where he kept his gunblade. It was not only closed, but the clasps were locked in place, not to mention it was across the room by his bed. His eyes narrowed when he realized how close the creature had gotten to him.

"Stop," he ground out.

The merman didn't stop. In fact, Leon would bet he moved that much faster to prevent him from getting away, but his body reacted without him having to pay close attention. He brought his feet up to the flat side of his desk and launched the furniture at the merman. Instead of being caught, like Leon had assumed, the blond just caught the desk and pushed it aside.

In hind sight, sliding the desk at the creature was probably the worst thing to do since that left nothing but a chair between him and that thing. The merman seeming to understand Leon's plight, used that moment of indecision to grasp on to his lower legs and send him to the floor.

Quickly, to prevent his escape, the merman pulled himself over Leon's body, effectively pinning the other man down.

However, Leon was a stubborn man and continued to struggle even though he knew he was beaten. Well he struggled until the merman started feeding him with images of himself fat and being cradled by the blond.

But that wasn't all. After a moment he had these feelings that weren't his! Compassion, love, possessiveness, desire; he was shaking just from the intensity of them!

"Stop," he managed to whisper. "Please."

But then again, who ever listened to him? The merman rolled his hips gently, which elicited a soft mewl from Leon. He vaguely realized he was highly aroused. When did he become so aroused?

A strong voice penetrated his thoughts. "Whether you like it or not Squall, I have chosen you as my mate. And I intend to enjoy you as such."

A/N: Hope the rest of you enjoyed the vomit from my brain. It didn't taste good coming out, but the pretty colors made me smile... or maybe I was hallucinating.