I own nothing. Slash. Alcohol abuse. ONE-SHOT ONLY!

"Hey Carlton," Niccole said spotting the fourteen year old teenager outside her café, "What are you doing out so late?"

"Nothing," Carlton Lassiter said shaking his head slightly.

"Come on, Carlton. Let's get you inside so we can get some food in you."

"I don't have any money to pay, Nicky. I'll just get going."

"Carlton Lassiter, turn your ass around and get in that café or so help me God I will drag you in there kicking a screaming."

Carlton blushed slightly and walked begrudgingly into the café. He made sure to stay away from any of the people and keep his head down. Nothing about being here made Carlton feel better. He wanted to run away and keep running until no one knew who he was and no one pretended to care.

"Nicky," Carlton said clearing his throat, "Can I just leave?"

"After you eat something I'll let you leave," Nicole said placing a sandwich in front of him, "You're too skinny, Carlton. When was the last time you ate?"

"I don't know."

"You have to take care of yourself, Carlton. Do you know what happens when people don't eat?"

"I know, and I don't need anyone babying me."

Before Nicole to say anything else Carlton was up from his chair and out the front door. As soon as he was outside Carlton could feel the cold of the night biting his skin. Tugging his T-Shirt hoping to somehow make it warmer he let out a small sigh and started to make his way to the closet park.

Sitting down on a part bench Carlton looked around and realized that it was a few hours past when he said he'd be home. With a shake of his head he rested down on the bench and looked at the stars. Right now he was glad to be alone and under the stars. It was one of the most peaceful places that he could be.

He didn't know how long he had been there for, but soon the sun was rising. Letting out a yawn Carlton and ran a hand through his hair. Blinking a few times he stood up and started to go to his house. Everything around him was a little blurry, but he had gotten used to that. It wasn't often anymore that he slept.

When he opened the door to his house he heard nothing. Going into the kitchen he saw that it was almost six in the morning. His Mother was already at work and since it was the summer there was no reason that he had to do anything that day. Not being able to continue to look around his empty home he went into his room and locked the door behind him.

Reaching into the back of his closet he pulled out a bottle of whiskey. He quickly opened the bottle and took a drink. He hadn't been drinking all that long and it burned his throat, but he realized that in his mind it helped. It got him out of his mind for awhile. It was never long enough, but that moment was too perfect.

He fell onto his bed before taking another gulp. It was time for him to go to sleep, but he didn't know how to without some sort of help. Sometimes it was the alcohol, but other times it was after getting into a fight with some other assholes. He did everything he could to not think anymore. Feeling his eyes get heavy Carlton placed the bottle on the ground and curled into a ball before falling into a dreamless sleep.

"Carlton," Mom said running a hand through her hair, "Are you okay?"

"I am," Carlton lied calmly, "Why do you ask?"

"You've been acting odd since your father…"

"Since he left us? Maybe I have, but I'll get over it Mom. Don't worry about it."

Before anything else could be said Carlton hugged his Mother slightly and went into his bedroom. Sighing he locked the door behind him. He quickly made his way to his closet where he hid everything. Putting the combination into the safe he opened it and looked over all the things that he had gotten over the past few years.

Sixteen year old Carlton Lassiter pulled out a bottle of whiskey and took a few gulps. Over the past few years he had gotten used to the burn, even done his best to try to get it back, but he was already used to it. Closing his eyes he kept the bottle to his lips taking gulp after gulp until he could feel that the bottle was half empty.

Pulling away Carlton stared at the bottle wondering what would happen if he drank the rest. For the most part he did his best to keep himself from drinking more then half. It was enough to give him a nice warm feeling, but it was starting to fade quicker and quicker. Swallowing softly he took another drink.

Soon there was nothing in the bottle and he could already feel himself falling into the darkness that he was used to. He knew that he wasn't going to get up for a few hours and that if he slept in the position he was in now that it would take a toll on him later, but he couldn't stop the falling long enough to make it to his bed.

Curling into a ball on the floor he let the warmth fill him until he was grinning. He didn't have anything in his mind anymore and that took so much weight off of his chest. He knew he didn't have long before it was back so he closed his eyes and let himself fall completely into the darkness.

Eighteen year old Carlton Lassiter stumbled his way through his high school graduation. He knew that he was a lot drunker then he had been before, but one bottle wasn't enough anymore. He was out of control and he knew. Drinking until he passed out. He was lucky that he had been able to get out of bed today.

"Oh Carlton," Mother said hugging him, "I'm so proud of you."

Instead of saying anything Carlton smiled slightly and pulled away from her. He looked around hoping that he'd be able to see his Father, but he knew that was just a dream. That man didn't care about him or his Mother anymore and like his Mother had reminded him before it was his fault that he left.

"I'm going to buy breakfast," Mother said pulling him towards her car, "You're much too skinny. When was the last time you ate?"

"A few days ago," Carlton said honestly.

His mother laughed loudly thinking that he was joking. In truth it had been days since he ate anything. The only thing running through his system was whiskey. He knew that he was close to falling off the edge, but with no one and nothing there to help catch him he didn't care. That was until he passed out before being able to get in the car.

"Spencer," Carlton Lassiter said walking into the Psych office.

"Lassie," Shawn Spencer said grinning, "What do I owe the pleasure?"

"I need to talk to you, alone."

Shawn and Gus shared a look before Gus got up from his desk saying he had to go to his job anyway. After the door closed behind Gus an awkward silence fell over Shawn and Carlton. Carlton cleared his throat trying to figure out how he was going to say this without giving him anything to hold against him at first.

"I need a favor," Carlton said calmly.

"What is it?" Shawn asked standing up.

"No snarky comment, Spencer? Take your best shot at me."

"You're asking for my help, Lassiter. I knew that it takes a lot for you to do that. You should hurry up and talk. I can only suppress the urge for so long."

"I need you to hypnotize me."

"Okay, now you're really starting to freak me out. What is it going on?"

With a sigh Carlton sat down and closed his eyes. It was bad enough that he was asking for help, but it was another to actually explain what had been going on for more then a decade. Hell, it was more then half his life that he had kept this from everyone. He only had enough strength to tell one person.

"I have a problem," Carlton said through gritted teeth, "I need to know if you can help."

"What do you need help with?" Shawn asked crossing his arms.

"I was fourteen when I first started. It took everything I had to keep it a secret. A lucky thing about him leaving is that we weren't close after that. No one knew what I was doing until I graduated high school. I wasn't taken to the hospital though. I honestly thought I was dead when I woke up. Then I saw her and I thought it was over. It wasn't, I just didn't have a place to live anymore, but I didn't stop."

"You didn't stop what, Carlton?"

"I didn't stop drowning myself in whiskey. Damn it, I can barely remember a time I was sober."

"You're an alcoholic. What, are you drunk now?"

"I'm not drunk yet. I've only had a bottle so far. Now, can you help me or not?"

Shawn ran a hand through his head and started to think. Carlton Lassiter was a good cop in his eyes. Actually he was so much more then that. Shawn had a crush on the man. Hearing that he was basically self-destructing and he hadn't been about to catch it before made him made at Carlton and himself.

"Take me to your place," Shawn said grabbing his coat, "Actually, I'll take us to your place."

"I can drive," Carlton said firmly.

"You're a drunk, Lassiter, but you're also a cop. Look, I'll save my angry lecture for when you're sober, but don't push me."

Carlton watched as Shawn got into the drivers' seat of his car. He was taking the news a lot harder then he had thought. There was something that Shawn was hiding and Carlton wanted to figure it out. He needed to have something in his mind if he was ever going to get over this thing like he hoped he could.

As they drove to Carlton's house he could feel the anger coming off of Shawn. It was like he expected Carlton to be some sort of superhero. Instead he was just an alcoholic. Carlton was a strong person and to think that he did all of that because he was either buzzed or completely drunk made Shawn want to punch something.

When they go to Carlton's house Shawn quickly took his keys and went inside. Calmly Carlton followed him inside and saw Shawn angrily ripping his house apart. Carlton froze for a second when he saw Shawn showing more emotion then he had ever done before. With a quick shake of his head he knocked himself out of his thoughts.

"What the hell are you doing, Spencer?" Carlton asked grabbing his arms.

"Finding your alcohol," Shawn said angrily.

"Tell me what is going on."

"How could you be doing this? You're supposed to be so much stronger than this."

"I was fourteen years old when I started, Spencer. Fourteen years old. What did you expect?"

"You're strong. You're supposed to be this person that can beat everything without needing anyone."

Sighing Carlton realized that Shawn needed someone to help him through this. Whether it was the alcohol or his crush on the younger man Carlton found himself holding Shawn tightly, muttering that everything would be fine. Carlton might not be strong enough to help himself right now, but he could help Shawn.

"Go home, Shawn," Carlton said leading him to the door.

"You need help," Shawn said brushing him off.

"I know exactly what I need, Spencer, and you aren't ready to give that to me, if you ever would give it to me."

"What do you want?"

Carlton stared into Shawn's eyes before pressing a soft kiss to his lips. Much to Carlton's surprise Shawn almost instantly started to kiss back with equal fever. Shawn curled his hands into Carlton's hair to keep their lips pressed together just a little while longer. They both knew that they needed to be grounded by someone else right now.

"You taste like whiskey," Shawn said breaking the kiss.

"I know," Carlton said nodding, "It's the only thing I drink."

"You only ever drink whiskey?"

"Right and it's what I need right now."

Carlton quickly broke away from Shawn and grabbed a new bottle from the counter. He took a few gulps before the bottle was ripped from his hand and thrown into the hallway. Staring at Shawn he saw that the anger was back once again. He hated seeing that emotion in his eyes and he knew that it was his fault.

"What are you doing?" Shawn yelled angrily, "This is what you came to get help with."

"I know," Carlton said calmly, "You don't understand, Shawn. I'm in my thirties. Whiskey had been in my life for so long. I can't live without it."

"What if you had something to fill the void? I know it won't be the same, but I'll help keep you sober."

"Why would you do that?"

"I like you, Carlton. You have to let me try. I don't want to lose you."

Pulling Shawn into another kiss Carlton hoped that he understood what he was saying. They kissed for awhile before Shawn pulled away and rested his head on Carlton's chest. Shawn hoped that being with him was enough to make Carlton stop for god, but he finally understood him. Carlton had never been good with words, but actions were so much greater.