as many times as i blink i'll think of you: Spoilers present for Son of Neptune. Don't read if you don't wish to know. Did a little snippet on Jason and Annabeth, and thought it would be appropriate for Percy and Reyna. I am so sappy with my writing, don't mind me, doo doo doo.

and i'll forget the world that i knew
but i swear i won't forget you

- Vanilla Twilight by Owl City

all the beautiful things

It's a weird thing to be jealous of someone you don't even know.

Percy Jackson stands on the floor of the house and persuades the Senate to trust the oncoming ship of Greeks. Reyna trusts him, the new praetor, her partner, but she still doesn't understand him. Maybe she never will. His fundamental Greekness surprises her at every turn. There is a way things are done at Camp Jupiter, and she has never seen anyone break the rules with as much aplomb and not get any blowback. It's like this kid doesn't know the meaning of the word "shouldn't."

She believes he would march as confidently through the ranks as he would through a minefield – and he would do both with equal flair. He is … interesting. She has to fight her natural instincts not to put her faith in him. Because she really shouldn't. He doesn't give a damn about consequences. He has no regard for tradition. In a battlefield, he would break ranks, and she doesn't think he knows the meaning of strategy. As a daughter of Bellona this scares her badly.

His whole nature demonstrates why the Greeks fell to the Romans ages ago. The Greeks simply had no discipline. They were risk-takers without reason, gamblers without plans, and fighters without organization. Yet, here is Percy, and he has returned triumphant from a mission when no Roman could. When she listened to the accounts from Frank and Hazel, she simply stared in disbelief when they told her he basically played Russian Roulette with poison – and won. He plays for stakes no one should ever play for, and he does it without any expectation of losing. Unbelievably, he doesn't.

She can't decide if he is the bravest person she has ever known or the stupidest.

All Romans are instilled with a sense of duty, praetors most of all. They need to be able to have the stomach to sacrifice everything for the sake of Rome and victory. She knows in her heart of hearts, Percy doesn't have what it takes. He won't fight for duty, and she doesn't think she can ever make him do that. To her, it is second nature, and she realizes that Percy doesn't change. They will never make him something he is not. Even after all of this training, he is a Greek in his soul. And Greeks always lose. It may not be today, tomorrow, or even after that, but one day, they will lose. The Romans proved their superiority a long time ago. They endured while the Greeks fell. She cannot believe that their tactics will ever fail them.

But here he is, brimming with assurance at the hope of an alliance and the victory of both camps when the stakes are higher than ever before. Even with the gods, they may lose. She fears that the Greeks will only hinder things and not help them. If she has learned anything, it is that she won't be able to convince the Greeks to do things the Roman way. And she is positive the Roman way is the only one that has a chance of prevailing, even if it's a snowball's chance in hell.

Reyna watches him and resigns herself to trusting him. There is no choice. As the new praetor, everyone compares him to Jason, says how alike they are. Yet they are completely dissimilar from each other. Jason was steady as a rock, reliable and predictable. Percy is reliable, but he is anything but predictable. More – Percy is irreverent, brash, lacking in sense, and probably pisses off the gods more than she is really comfortable with.

It makes her miss Jason, and what could have been if he had stayed. Does he miss her too? The Greek ship is coming. She finds herself longing for it. What blanks will they have to fill in?

Before the quest to Alaska, Reyna had a private conversation with Percy, one that haunted her the entire time he was gone. This boy, rude and senseless, destroyed her home and forced Hylla and her into destitute life. He did it without knowing, and she hates that most of all. Putting the fate of New Rome into his hands is utterly distasteful to her. Simply speaking to him made her clench her teeth in anger. Yet, she knows he is not bad, that a true heart beats under his treacherous Greek exterior. That is probably the worst, because she cannot hate him unreservedly the way she might a villain. Percy is many, many awful, ridiculous things, but he is not evil.

"Have you thought about my offer?" she asked him the night before he left.

"I guess," he said. "I don't think I want to be praetor, even if I return."

She frowned. "I don't think you realize. If you return, you will be returning victoriously, for if you aren't, you shouldn't even bother. But if you return victoriously, then it will be one of the greatest quests in recent memory, and you will become praetor by acclamation regardless."

He stared at her. "Okay, hold on. That was a lot of really big words. So I gather you're saying, I don't have much of a choice."

"In a word, yes."

"Why even ask me then?"

"Oh, I don't know," she said, bristling, "maybe I felt like it was the courteous thing to do. Give you a heads up before forcing this title on you. Whether you realize it or not, Percy Jackson, it is a pretty big deal to be praetor. Most people would like it. You don't seem to get it."

"Huh." He scratched the back of his head. "You're telling me to like something; that usually makes me not like it very much."

"You're insufferable. But I would still want you on my side."

"Even though I would be taking Jason's place?"

She winced, thinking back on Jason's slow, easy smile and the way he held her hand. "Jason knows the rules. He would understand. His absence is a de facto surrendering of his seat, and the vacancy requires filling. Look, I won't pretend you're an ideal choice, but given what we have, I think you would be best suited to the position."

"You don't want Octavian," he guessed.

She didn't answer. Clearly, this conversation was going nowhere. She stood up. "I've expressed my opinions for the last time. You have the whole journey up to consider it further. I won't stand here and beg you to take the praetorship. It has to be accepted by someone who is willing, and someone who understands all the responsibilities. May the gods be with you, Percy. No matter what our disagreements, I hope you live to return." She turned to go.

"Wait," he said.

She stopped at the door. "What?"

"You told me about you and your sister. You said I was there with a girl named Annabeth." He sounded nervous.

"Yes. I remember that very clearly," she told him. Like it was yesterday. The pirates grinning as the bore down on the attendants and locked them up in their own home. She had nightmares about it still.

"D'you – d'you remember anything about her?"

Reyna paused. "Why? I don't like to remember, you know."

"I'm sorry," he said, and he sounded sincere. "But I want to know more about her. She is the only thing I can remember, and I think if I can remember her, I'll remember other things too."

"She was special to you," she said, understanding. "A good friend."

"Yeah." He nodded. "I think I loved her."

His words surprised her. She had never heard anyone admit something so frankly to her before, especially something as private as love. How did he even know? "You're sure about this? What do you remember about her?"

He hesitated, like he didn't want to tell her. Then he said simply, "She is everything. She is everything I know. I can't forget her." The way he said it made her sound like something precious.

Her breath was stolen away, and for a moment, she couldn't speak. She gathered herself. "Good luck, Percy," she said gently and walked out. There was nothing she could tell him about Annabeth, anyway. She was pretty and hard and even through her face, Reyna could see how strong she was. But he didn't need to hear that.

In the days after, she dreamed of Jason, on the other coast, but where exactly, she couldn't know. She saw him and tried to speak to him, but she was soundless to him. She cried.

The Senate convenes, and they all gather on the shoreline watching the Argo II approach. Somewhere on that ship, Jason is coming for her, and somewhere too, Annabeth is there. She stands with Percy at her side and sneaks a sideways glance at him, and his face is full with hope and joy. It makes her jealous. She hopes Jason will see her and come to her first, but deep inside, she knows – and it makes her miserable – that she is not everything. He will have forgotten her. Percy awoke the memory of one person and held onto it like a dream. Annabeth, Reyna knows, will be the cause of ruin. She would break Percy's will. He would break ranks for her, he would forget his duty to Rome for her.

And finally, Reyna thinks she has stumbled onto some small insight. Percy will never be a Roman because his duty is not to Rome. It's to Annabeth. The ties are so strong that no one, not even his responsibility as a praetor, not Reyna, not even the gods themselves and the sake of Western civilization can make him forget. Yes, Annabeth could make the entire world fall. At last she knows Percy's fatal flaw, and it is a flaw that could destroy everyone. He would give up the world for one person; perhaps at one point, he already has.

It terrifies her to think that fate has once rested on his shoulders and may well come to rest on his shoulders again. Helpless, she watches as the winds bring the source of trouble closer and closer to shore.

That conversation, she will remember until she is old and gray, if she lives that long. She will turn its contents over in her hands and wonder at what Percy meant. But even though it revealed a flaw serious enough to bring centuries of civilization crashing down, and she will never understand it – it was beautiful, nonetheless. And this world, if it is truly worth saving, could use more of those beautiful things.

Author's note: Thanks for reading!