Early Days

All Simon Bellamy ever wanted was friends. It's never came easy for him. As far back as he can remember, he's somehow managed to alienate everybody. The boys and the girls equally. Mostly, no one ever noticed Simon but if they did, then the teasing started, the name calling. Simple Simon, that's what they used to call him in primary school. Never mind he wasn't simple. He was the smartest of the lot of them. It never seemed to matter. So, Simon stayed quiet, melted into the background and watched everything unfold about him like scenes in a film.

Simon once had a proper mate. It was during summer holiday after year six. His name was Mitchell and he had red hair. His family moved in near to Simons family from somewhere near Leeds. Mitchell and Simon spent all of their time watching Quantum Leap. The program took place in the future, 1997, and the main character, Dr. Sam Beckett was lost in time. Sam spent every program leaping from different places in time trying "put right what once went wrong". Mitchell and Simon would make up their own leap scenarios and work out how to right imagined wrongs. They wrote all of their scenarios down in a notebook that Simon kept in his bedroom. One day, Mitchell and Simon planned to submit a proper manuscript for a new version of Quantum Leap to BBC. Life was good.

Then summer holiday ended, they headed back to school. Mitchell, the new kid, was very popular. Mitchell learned that his summer holiday mate was also known as Simple Simon. Simple Simon didn't have friends. And so, Simon lost his first and only proper mate. No longer the part of something larger than himself, Simon returned to living in his head. Although he was still lonely, he had anger for company when things got too bad, too desperate.

Two months into year seven, Simon took a packet of matches from his mum's hand bag. He set his manuscript on fire and dropped it into Mitchell's letter box.

And then he saw Her

The first time Simon saw her, she was in a chip shop with a group of girls. He took a video of them on his phone. Simon liked to take videos. She was just a pretty girl, with curly hair and a nice shape, in a pink leopard spotted frock. She had brown eyes that cut at you with a mean look but she was still pretty. It was her skin though that caught his eye, the color of a treacle tart like his mum made. He imagined she smelled like treacle tart.

A week later, an old school study partner texted Simon to join him for a night of drink. There would be girls and beer. He had never received an invitation to anything other than his Aunt Edna's 50th birthday celebration. This wasn't the same at all. Despite all of his past social failures, despite the anger and pain of rejection. Worse than the rejection, the pain of being ignored and invisible, Simon accepts the invitation. There would be girls.

The club is all heat and pressed bodies, flashing lights and thumping music. The club seemed trendy, he saw track star Curtis Donovan walk past him in the queue. Everyone looks chatty and happy. Simon wanted to make a good first impression. He ran introductions over and over in his head like a mantra. Hi, my name is Simon. Do you come here a lot? ... Hi, my name is Simon. I love the music here ... Hi, my name is Simon. Do you prefer Next Generation or Voyager? As his mother always said, remember your three P's, preparation precedes perfection. But when he looks to his left his thoughts become all a jumble.

There standing off to the side of bar was the little treacle tart. She was wearing some Union Jack inspired dress. She was alone and looked a little lost, the way a girl looks when she's been abandoned by her mates . Her group confidence gone, she looked like a little girl playing dress up with her electric blue eye makeup and big earrings. Simon wanted to know her. He felt different. He was bold, this was a new Simon. A Simon that is invited out for drinks. A Simon that has conversations with girls.

She was looking down, playing with her bracelets. Simon walked straight up to her. He felt powerful. The lights made her hair and skin look glow. Her eyes raised to his. His heart nearly stopped in his chest. Her eyes weren't brown like he thought. Her eyes were deep green, flecked with brown, blue and gold. Those eyes set against that dark skin and all that untamed hair, brown and red curls. She was like the elements. Ocean, air, fire and earth. In that moment he knew that he needed her. Their eyes locked and she saw him. He was not invisible.

Just as Simon opened my mouth to speak, her two mates materialized out of the crowd. "Alisha, you'll not believe who's here."

Her eyes cut away towards the voice. That confidence is back. Her spine stiffens. She's turns away.

"Who?"

"Guess."

"Chloe, stop being such a slut and tell me."

"Curtis Donovan! The runner!"

Girls giggling. Clucking like hens. He's been dismissed.

Simon spotted his old study partner and headed to the group, but it was all a cock up. He wasn't meant to get the text. It was all meant for a different Simon and he wasn't a different Simon at all. He was the same old Simon. He left his beers on the table and walked out.

At least, he knew Her name now. Alisha.

A few hours later, as Simon set fire to his old study partners house, he wondered if Alisha was wearing proper knickers beneath her frock or little ones that run up the crease of her bottom. Maybe she wasn't wearing any at all. Thinking about Alisha in her knickers made him think about the chavvy girl in the stairwell outside of the club. He saw her knickers. They were pink leopard spotted like Alisha's dress. He had almost touched them but lost his nerve.

Simon was still watching the flames spread through the letter box and thinking about knickers when he heard a cat meow. He had made sure no one was home, but didn't know there was a cat in the house. He looked through the mail slot and saw a small gray tabby running around the foyer in a panic. He didn't want to hurt the poor cat, the cat never did a thing to Simon. There was nothing to pour into the mail slot to get the flames out. Simon did the only thing he could, and pee'd through the mail slot to save the cat. Simon was still extinguishing the flames when his old study partner's mum arrived home.